AU where they want kids, but for whatever reason (they're of the same sex, one of them is infertile, etc.) they can't/don't want to have biological kids, and they go through the hurdles of adoption together.
"So what are our options then?" Jasmine asked Vanessa as she finished reading the information booklet that they'd found together.
Vanessa paused for a second and picked up her tea. "Erm, we pay a stupid amount of money that we don't have, find a donor and one of us has IVF, we ask someone we know, or we adopt."
"Well the first one is definitely ruled out, it's not like we can afford it and then we'd have to pay for all the normal baby stuff on top of that. As for the second one, who do we know that would do it? Marlon? Paddy? It'd be too weird since they're both so close to people we know. That leaves us with adoption then...would they let us since I was in prison?"
Vanessa sighed, it'd been two years since Jasmine's release but it would still affect their chances. Even if they were allowed, there would have to be so many more extra checks on them, so many more questions for Jasmine, even if she had only killed him out of self defence. "Look, babe, we are serious about wanting this baby and they will see that. All that matters is that they'll be loved, okay?" she reached out and took her hand.
The process to get their application approved was long and nerve-wracking. Every time they thought they had finished, another barrier was thrown at them. Although, sometimes it was simple things- questions about their childhoods, asking what they did in their free time and who they did it with- sometimes it was more complicated- they had to test whether Jasmine was mentally stable enough to look after a child, especially after she had suffered with depression and nightmares when she originally came out of prison. Every single time it was something different, but after months and months of waiting, the phone call came.
Jasmine quickly ran to the phone, both her and Vanessa knew the number off by heart by this point and each time it rang they would both hope for some good news. "Hello?" she asked, biting her nails with nerves and anticipation. "Yeah? Okay...do you need anything else? Are you sure?" Vanessa waited by the doorway, equally as worried.
"Well thanks, we will." Jasmine said and put the phone down. "They accepted our application. Nessa, we're on the list." she smiled, barely able to contain her tears of joy. "I mean there's still loads more that will need to cbut we're getting closer."
"See, I knew we could do it." Vanessa grinned, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. "We're one step now...one step closer to being parents."
Once it was approved everything seemed to be a blur. Within six weeks they were receiving information about children that the care workers thought were suitable. Some were newborn babies that had only just been put up for adoption, others were older- two or three years old- and a few hadn't even been born yet. Every time a new option came through they would sit down and consider it. At first they thought it was an easy decision, but as more and more information came to them about each child they found it impossible to choose. Jasmine was the worst, every time she thought she had made a decision she would start to feel guilty about something or someone else and they would be back to square one again.
"Come on Jas." Vanessa sighed when she saw tears in the corners of Jasmine's eyes. Once again she thought that they'd made a choice, but now, in the middle of the night, Jasmine appeared to be backtracking. "If we're having difficulty deciding, then so will everyone else. Other people will want to look after them as well, it isn't just up to us."
"But what if they don't?" Jasmine asked quietly staring up at the ceiling. "What if they stay in care forever and it's all my fault?"
"Well it's not your fault, is it? We can't adopt every child in care on the planet, but we can choose one and give them a good life. That's better than nothing."
"I suppose you're right." she mumbled, still feeling the guilt of the decision weighing down on her.
After many emotional late night reassurances, it was decided. Between them and a social worker, they chose a set of three month old twins- two girls that were supposed to be adopted once they were born but due to complications they weren't.
Vanessa laughed slightly as one of the twins- Bella- wriggled in Jasmine's arms, letting a small cry escape before closing her eyes and getting comfy again.. Jasmine looked up to meet her eyes for a brief moment before returning to admiring Bella. The other twin- Charlotte- remained peacefully asleep in Vanessa's arms, completely unaware of the noise coming from her sister. It was the first time that they were looking after the twins overnight, they'd had visits before and days together but this time they were going to look after them from Friday night until Sunday morning. The TV was on in the background but neither of them was paying very much attention, they were far too mesmerised by the two little girls that were asleep in their arms.
Each time they breathed was almost surreal to Jasmine and Vanessa, after months of questions and waiting it was like they were in a dream. They were constantly expecting another hurdle to appear out of nowhere, another check, another wait for an approval. But no, they had finished the obstacle course, within the next month they would be not have to worry about giving the children back after their stay. They would be proper parents.
For most parents, waking up every four hours would be torture, it would be a war about who had to get up each time and perform whatever duties were needed. For Jasmine and Vanessa it was what they had been waiting for, every time they heard a cry there was no arguing about who would get up, they both did it together and they didn't complain. It was an excuse to catch a glance at the things they loved most in the world, if anything they argued over who got to feed them and who got to change them.
Not even a month later, they were finally given permission to take the twins home. Neither of them could sleep the night before from feat and excitement; they were about to start a whole new chapter of their lives and although it was scary and nerve wracking, neither of them could remember the last time that they had not slept out of excitement for what was to come the next day.
"And that is the last of it." Vanessa smiled as she brought in the final bag of the twins' clothes and various other items.
"Welcome home." Jasmine said and looked at the twins that were both laid peacefully on the living room floor.
