AN: So this is my first fanfic. I was supposed to have a friend of mine be an unofficial beta but she hasn't been returning my emails. I apologize ahead of time for any spelling and grammar errors. Please enjoy.
So, the day started off normally enough. It was Monday; Roxas and I were sent to Twilight Town on heart collection duty. We were lucky enough to have finished our mission early and were on our way to the ice cream stand to gorge ourselves on the world's best creation (after me of course): Sea Salt Ice Cream. We were standing in line waiting for the people in front of us to place their orders. I had started to notice that the two of us were drawing a bit of attention. Who wouldn't stare at a freakishly tall (and gorgeous) man with flaming red hair styled into spikes, striking green eyes, purple upside down teardrop tattoos on his cheeks, flawless skin, and a large black coat . . . in the middle of summer . . . Did I mention that I HATE the organization coats? Who the hell wears black coats in the middle of summer? It gets freaking hot under these things! Point is, we were getting stared at, and I'm beginning to get uncomfortable with the attention. I was broken out of my inner ramblings by a soft tug on the sleeve of my coat.
"Hey, Axel? Why don't you head on up to the clock tower? I'll get our ice cream and meet you there."
"What kind of friend would I be if I left you here alone? Besides, there are only . . . ten more people in front of us," I answered after pausing to count the people in front of us. Roxas laughed and rolled his eyes before lightly shoving me in the direction of the clock tower.
"Really Axel, it's fine. Why should the two of us draw attention to ourselves by standing in line? I draw a lot less attention than you so I'll stay in line. Go on ahead. I'll be there after I get our ice cream." I looked around at the people around us and realized that he was right; I was drawing a lot of attention. I glanced at him briefly before heading off towards the clock tower.
I should have never left him there. Leaving to the clock tower set in motion the events that would lead up to the most awkward moment in my entire existence. And who caused the most awkward day of my life? Stupid random people in the ice cream line that can't keep their freaking personal lives to themselves.
There I was, sitting on the clock tower, waiting for Roxas to return with our treat. The sun was setting a soft orange-red color (my hair was SO much prettier than the sunset, but whatever), when Roxas finally showed up. He sat down next to me on the ledge, like any other day, and handed me my stick of ice cream. We ate in silence for a few minutes, when he gave a soft tug on the sleeve to my organization coat. I turned to him, curious as to why he had broken the comfortable silence that had fallen between us.
"What's up Roxy?" He blushed lightly at the nickname and fidgeted. He was obviously nervous about something, and being his best friend (though I'd love to be more; let's face it, the guy's a real cutie), it was my job to find out what it was. I nudged Roxas lightly making him look up at me. "You can talk to me about anything Roxy. I won't laugh at anything you have to say." He fidgeted a bit more before finally saying what was on his mind.
"Well . . . while I was waiting in line to get our ice cream, I sort of overhead a conversation by the two guys in front of me. They were talking about how their weekend had been and they said some things that I didn't really understand. I was wondering if maybe you could explain some things to me," he said while avoiding looking at me.
"Um . . . okay. I'm not sure if I'll know anything about what they were talking about, but I'll try to answer any questions you have." He nodded slightly before finally looking up at me. I grinned at him in encouragement, and he seemed to calm down a little bit. "So these guys . . . what exactly were they talking about that you didn't understand?"
Hey. Sorry for interrupting again, but if your friend (or worse, your possible love interest) ever have a question and seem really awkward or embarrassed about it, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, ever, under any circumstances, offer to give them an answer. I wish I had known that before this whole situation started. Anyways, back to the narrative.
"Like I already told you, the guys in front of me were talking about their weekend. One of them said that he went out on a date with some girl and that they ended up having sex." I looked at him for a moment with what I would imagine was a blank (sexy; come on, you know that all my expressions are sexy. It's only a matter of time before he realizes how irresistible I am) expression.
"Okay. So what part of that did you not understand?" I asked. From what he had told me, there really isn't much to misunderstand.
"Well . . . I already know what a date is. Demyx told me that it was when two people like each other and spend time with each other. Like us," he mumbled. I sat there, like a complete idiot, with my mouth hanging open. I could practically see my inner self face palm at Demyx's complete lack of tact. I know what you're thinking: 'Well Axel, why would you be stupid enough to ask Demyx for his help in getting Roxas to fall for you in the first place?' My stupidity wasn't the driving force behind asking Demyx for help. It was desperation.
I shook my head to bring myself back from my inner ramblings and noticed Roxas staring at me with an expectant expression on his face. "Um . . . I'm sorry. I spaced out. Can you repeat that?"
Roxas sighed in exasperation. "I want to know what sex is." I stared at him for a moment before blinking.
"I, um, don't think I would be the best person to explain that to you. That topic can get kind of . . . complicated. Yeah, complicated. Only older people can explain it in a way that someone can understand," I said nervously. He looked disappointed for a moment before giving a soft smile.
"It's ok Axel. If it's that confusing maybe it's better that I don't know about it," he said before tilting his head to the side. This kid . . . he's going to be the death of me. Looking like that should be made illegal! I was (again) interrupted from my inner ramblings by Roxas. He had stood up and was offering to help me stand from my spot on the ledge of the clock tower. "We should probably RTC now. Before Xemnas gets upset at us for taking too long," he said with a grin. I grinned back before opening a dark portal to take us back to castle oblivion.
We were greeted by Xigbar when we made it to the castle. "So, where have you two been for the last hour?" he asked. I looked at him suspiciously. He never takes this much interest in us. What could he be up to?
"Oh, hey Xigbar. Axel and I had heart collection duty in Twilight Town. We finished early and decided to get some sea salt ice-cream before RTC-ing. . . Hey Xigbar? You're old right?"
This is the part where I choke on my own spit. What the hell is he thinking? Calling Xigbar old is like asking for a death sentence . . . even if he is on the higher half of the age line. If Xigbar had both eyes, I can guarantee that one of them would be twitching at the moment. Faze back into reality. . .
"Well, little dude, I'm not that old. Why do you ask?" Roxas fidgeted for a moment before asking Xigbar the question that I had hoped he wouldn't.
"You're one of the older members in the organization so I was hoping that you could answer a question for me. I tried asking Axel but he said he couldn't explain it right and that I would only understand if someone older explained it to me. What's sex?" Hello palm, let me introduce you to face. Xigbar looked startled for a moment before turning to me.
"This is some sort of sick joke, right? You put him up to this, right?" I gave Xigbar a look that clearly said, 'does it look like I'm laughing'. Xigbar sighed and scratched the scar on his face. "Didn't he have a sex education class before he became a Nobody?"
" Probably. But he doesn't remember anything about who he used to be when he had a heart, so it makes sense that he wouldn't know about anything involving puberty or sex," I explained. Sometime during mine and Xigbar's talk, Demyx had come into the Grey Room and had started talking to Roxas. They were now staring at the two of us.
"Well?" asked Roxas. Xigbar and I looked at him completely lost about what we should do. Demyx let out a big sigh before grabbing Roxas' hand and dragging him off.
"W-wait! Where are you two going?" I called after them. Demyx turned around and grinned at us.
"We're going to find someone to answer Roxas' question! Besides, I'm curious too!" I blanched for a moment before hurrying after them.
The first room we arrived in was the kitchen. The only person in there at the moment was Larxene. She looked up from the breakfast table as Demyx approached. "What do you losers want?" Demyx flinched a bit at her tone before asking what I now refer to as the 'question of all things evil'.
"Um. . . Larxene? Could you tell us what sex is?" She stared at him for a moment before an evil grin spread across her face.
"Sure," she said picking a banana and a doughnut off the breakfast table. My eyes grew wide and I shoved both Demyx and Roxas out of the kitchen before she could scar their innocent minds with her vulgar explanation. Demyx and Roxas both looked a bit peeved but luckily they shrugged it off when they noticed. . . Marluxia? Oh God. . . Why?
"Hey Marly! Could you tell us what sex is?" Why Demyx? Why? Why did you have to ask Marluxia of all people? Said person flipped his hair and posed in front of a flowery back ground. Where the hell did he get that background? I want one! But with fire. Lots and lots of fire. . . Back to present. . .
"Sure, Demyx. Let me go find Vexen and we'll show you what it is," he said before flouncing off to find his ice wielding lover. And my eye just twitched. Demyx sighed again.
"That's going to take too long. We'll go ask someone else. I know! We'll ask Luxord!" And we're off again. Who keeps giving him sugar?
Half a minute later we're barging into Luxord's room to find. . . a game of strip poker. Hmmm. . . I didn't know that Xaldin shaved his legs. "Oh! Sorry, Luxord. We'll just go ask someone else. Enjoy your game!" And we were off. . . again. Only to stumble into Zexion. "Sexy Zexy! We have a question that it seems only you are able to answer," Demyx started. Zexion quickly cut him off.
"I will answer your question, Demyx, if you agree to stop calling me that infernal nickname." Demyx pouted for a moment before nodding his head vigorously. Zexion sighed before ushering Demyx and Roxas into his room. You want to know what happened to me? That little brat slammed the door in my face! The hell? So there I was, sitting against the wall opposite to Zexion's door. An hour later Roxas comes out. Demyx was, er, probably taking a 'practical' course on sex education from Zexion. Now I have to wash my brain with bleach.
"So. . . did Zexion answer your question?" Roxas slid down the wall and settled himself in the spot next to me.
"Yeah." We both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Until. . . "Hey, Axel? Where do babies come from?"
AN: Hope this turned out alright. I am thinking about writing request fics. Please see my profile for more information.