Porthos remembers very well what happened the last time when one of his wounds required needlework ...
"Arrgghh! Hell, stop poking at me, 'Mis! That bloody hurts!"
"Sorry, Porthos, but that's quite a nasty gash. It's deep, and although I know you're not going to like it, I have to sew it."
"Great! My day's getting better and better. "
"d'Artagnan, could you fetch the brandy Athos surely carries in his saddlebag and my sewing kit? And now relax, Porthos, fidgeting isn't helpful."
"I will relax when I'm sure Athos won't hit me like the last time."
"Well, that depends on you, my friend. When you can stay calm while Aramis is sewing the wound and you promise not to trash around, kick somebody in the face or jump off the table, then I'll promise not to hit you."
"I can do that."
"Sure?"
"Yeah. I won't move a muscle. So promise not to hit me, Athos?"
"I promise."
"Good."
"So now that everything is settled, turn around. Athos, …"
"NO! He won't touch me, he promised!"
"Damn, Porthos, I was going to say 'Athos, could you please pass me that pillow?', but I'm sure you will manage without it under your head."
"Okay, give him the damn pillow."
"Ah, here comes the brandy. Thank you, d'Artagnan. Now Porthos, grit your teeth. On three: One, two …"
"ARRGGGHH!"
"Well done, my friend. And I didn't hit you, see?"
"How .. nice of you. Now I'm … really looking forward … to 'Mis needlework."
"d'Artagnan, did you thread the needle? Thank you. Ok, let's start. One, two …" (THUMP)
(…)
"Is he out?"
"Yes, good punch, d'Artagnan."
"Oh, he will so bite our heads off!"
"Why should he? We only promised him Athos won't punch him and he didn't. "
"It's better this way, believe me. "
"I'm not sure he will share your opinion."
"A few bottles of wine and a nice meal will do the trick. Porthos isn't a resentful person."
"And who is going to pay for the food and wine?"
"You, my young fellow, for you hit him."
"Ha, on your order! And stop smirking, Athos, you're not helpful."
"Well, sometimes a friend has got to do what a friend has got to do, lad, even if it hurts. Let's look for something to eat while Aramis finishes his embroidery and then we'll bring our big baby home."