Summary: While attempting to complete a ridiculous mission for the Headmaster, Hermione Granger loses Severus Snape in Muggle London. A story of how their mutual hate for the old coot will pave the way to camaraderie. AU…some.

You Lost Who?

Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?

Hermione was almost in hysterics. Snape. Oh God. She had lost Snape. It was ridiculous. How could she lose someone, not figuratively but literally, physically? She was too sensible to let that happen. She should be too sensible to let that happen. But she had lost Snape, in Muggle London.

Snape…she groaned. He was going to slaughter her. Slaughter her, not for being an insufferable know-it-all, but for being an idiot and losing him. In Muggle London.

Maybe she could say that he lost her…

They had been sent by the Headmaster to London to procure Muggle objects, Muggle electronics if you want to go into details. But now really wasn't a good time to get stuck on details.

Albus had somehow gotten into his head that Hogwarts should improve its Muggle Studies program by introducing every-day objects from the Muggle world (real Muggles?). *Snort* It must have been Arthur Weasley's influence.

So, he had requested Hogwart's only Muggleborn professor, Professor Hermione Granger, to complete the assignment. And Professor Severus Snape had tagged along, unwillingly of course, also at Dumbledore's 'request'. He had wisely suggested a little sun would help the Potions Master's complexion.

Really now, if he wanted to order people to do something, he should just order them. No point in being polite about it.

But acquiring the (real) Muggle objects wasn't the end of the assignment. Someone (*cough*Arthur*cough) had convinced him that once they had those objects at hand, they should be introduced as they are in the Muggle world. As in functioning.

Everyone knows Muggle electronics don't work in magical settings. There had been many Muggleborn or Muggle-raised first year students in the past who had carried Muggle electronics to the school. They had all discovered that electronics stopped working as soon as they arrived at Platform 9 and 3/4. Then they would start working again for the few hours on the train to Hogsmeade, but died again around an hour before arriving at the station. Those disappointed students had all ended up leaving their MP3 players, iPods, Nintendo Gameboys, mobiles, electronic dictionaries, and many other useful items at the bottom of their trunks to collect dust, or they had been confiscated by Filch to add to his Confiscated Muggle Thingamajigs stash of which he was quite proud of due to the rarity of such fascinating items, not that he knew what they did.

To recap, the very kind and insane Headmaster of Hogwarts had 'requested' Hermione Granger and Severus Snape to buy Muggle electronics and make them work.

Quite simple, really. Except not.

Snape had asked why they couldn't simply ask the Room of Requirement. It was a brilliant suggestion, as expected from a brilliant man. But they were devastated when they discovered that the Room didn't know what Muggle electronics were and therefore couldn't conjure them. Hmph! It had been a good laugh though. The Room had tried very, very hard and managed to produce Muggle items from the Middle Ages and some from even earlier that that. Much earlier. These were items which the wizarding world also used, such as swords, suit of armors, horse-drawn carriages, wooden boats, a castle, the wheel.

You had to appreciate all the effort the Room put in to fulfill their request. Too bad everything had been a bit outdated.

Then they asked Filch if he would be willing to share some of his stash. He just had Mrs. Norris hiss at them, even Snape. ("Nobody touches my winnings!")

Therefore, they had sulked out of the castle with Albus cheerfully seeing them off, probably to make sure they didn't circle around to the back of the castle. He had even told them to enjoy themselves. Hah, they would be enjoying themselves much more if we didn't have to run around in Muggle London like headless chickens.

Now, the First Step was to get to Muggle London. That was easy; just go through the Leaky Cauldron. Next was to find a store carrying electronics. That was easy too, or it should have been, until she lost Snape. Goodness, they had barely started Step Two and everything had fallen apart. Weren't they supposed to be two of the most intelligent people in the wizarding world? One had a Potions Mastery and the other a Charms Mastery.

So now she was here, in the middle of Muggle London, without Snape. Poor man. Though, she had to admit, he did look quite sharp in the stylish Muggle clothing he had chosen for himself. Never in a million years would she have expected him to have a good sense of style. Just look at his regular wizarding attire…

Sigh. Well, there was no use crying over spilled milk. She would have to make good use of her time searching for him. She headed to the electronics store they had chosen beforehand. On to Step Three: decide which electronics to buy.

She had already made a short mental list as soon as she received the 'request'. It was best to start out simple: batteries, radios, lamps, clocks, flashlights, Muggle cameras, and battery-run toys. Oh, and a laptop, because that would be really helpful for keeping her research documents and references organized. It would be infinitely better than stacks of parchment.

Step Four: She purchased several of each, including two rather high-end laptops. If she got them to function, Snape would appreciate one. It would be her apology for losing him.

Oh, that's right. Snape was still lost. He apparently hadn't found the store, and she didn't know where to look. Muggle mobiles would be incredibly helpful in these situations. She'd have to get a few of those too and get them to work in Hogwarts. She would even set up her own wireless network if needed! It should have been easy with magic, except for the little detail of magic being the main problem.

Well, what would be the next best course of action? Stay at the store and wait for him to find it? Or venture out to find him? Hmmm…

He was a smart man (a Potions Master) with a very logical mind. He should be capable of asking for directions and following those directions to the store. She should be able to count on him to be intelligent, both in the wizarding world and in Muggle London. Then again, she had thought herself too sensible to lose Snape.

Best stay in one spot and have him find her at the store.

She waited and waited.

Goodness, how difficult was it to ask for directions and follow those directions?

Oh no…it couldn't be…she hadn't thought of this problem…that he was probably too proud to admit he needed help. Was he even in London anymore?

She was about to set off in search of Snape when she caught sight of him.

Pfft!

He looked so pitifully lost. It was almost adorable.

You could see his obvious dislike of crowded places. Every time someone bumped into him, he'd jump or flinch back. Oh, the poor man. She needed to go save him.

He must have been feeling awful to have lost his snarky self (figuratively). Much worse than awful. The man had gotten through two wars without losing that bastard persona, but it had been shattered from being lost in Muggle London for two measly hours.

Pfft!

Laughing at his expense, especially in this situation, was a bit cruel, but she couldn't help it. Snape was so rarely caught off guard, and she had never seen it this bad. When it did happen, he would usually cover it up with roaring anger. Anger more terrifying than a troll or a basilisk or a dragon…or even Fluffy.

She had to calm herself before making her way to him or else he'd make her life hell for laughing at him, after slaughtering her of course.

Once her face had settled down, she headed in Snape's direction to 'rescue' him. The poor damsel in distress. *Snort* She almost doubled up in laughter. Now she was leaning heavily against a lamp post, trying to control her breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Slowly.

She finally collected herself and lightly tapped Snape on his shoulder from behind. He jumped and spun around, looking as if he was about to hex her with his wand. She was thankful that he had kept his wandless magic in check.

"Hello, Professor Snape," Was all she could think of to say. The corners of her mouth began to twitch.

"Professor Granger…"

"…Professor Granger," he took a deep, pained breath and tried again, "I sincerely apologise for losing sight of you."

She couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter.

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