A/N: So, umm... My weird OC Harkey got his own fanfiction. Plz don't kill me... In this France and Harkey are friends, and France and Britain aren't friends, but Britain knows France through Harkey.

Harkey sang loudly, prancing around Britain and laughing happily. "Aaaaaaaangelina ballerina! The dancing star with big dreams!"

"Harkey. Keep singing and I will not hesitate to hit you over the head with my-"

"With your what? Embroidery needles?" Harkey grinned, butting in.

"Don't interrupt me." Britain sighed. "And why do you always insist on making so much noise? It's absolutely maddening."

"I don't know..." Harkey said quietly. "I just want your attention, I guess." He was smirking awkwardly in a way only he could.

Britain blushed a little. "Why don't you go and bother one of your other friends?" He huffed, turning away.

"Oh, uh, yeah... Sure. I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYWAY! Dx" Harkey yelled, stomping out of the room over-dramatically.

And after Harkey left, Britain began to feel the slightest bit lonely.

. . .

"Hiiiii, France!" Harkey called, waving at his friend energetically. "I've swum all the way here from my house!"

"Really? That far?" France marvelled, only slightly admiring Harkey's damp skin and long legs. "That's impressive, 'Arkey!"

"Um, yeah..." Harkey smiled at France, who seemed to be looking at his chest rather than his face. "Hey, Francey... I need some advice!"

"Oh?"

"You know England... Well, I... Have a crush on him."

France stared at his friend, with a knowing smile on his face.

"...And, I want to go out with him..."

France's mouth curled into a smirk. "And you want me to 'elp with zat?"

"...Yeah."

"Well, I'm sure we can sort out somezing," he said.

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Oh don't worry. It will work, I am certain of eet."

. . .

France's plan was to, and I quote, have Harkey swim back home and have Britain come pick him up, so that he would see him all wet and think he was hot.

"What. I don't even. What." Harkey said. "France, that's a terrible plan. And even if he does think I'm hot, it doesn't mean he'll ask me out!"

"Well then, while 'e's distracted you can ask 'im and 'e'll say yes!"

"Umm... You know what, sure, fine. But I'm blaming you when it doesn't work."

Just as Harkey was going to swim back, France thought it would be appropriate to hand him an embarrassingly tight swimsuit, which Harkey threw back at him angrily.

"The hell, France!"

"Come on 'Arkey, put eet on! 'E won't be able to resist you~ I mean, I barely can!"

Harkey's mouth dropped a little, but he set his face and turned his back. "Don't watch... Oh, what the hell, you will anyway."

In his new, tight, sleek black shorts, Harkey dived into the water and began the long swim back.

As France watched Harkey swim away, he pulled out his phone and dialled up Britain.

"'Ello Britain~!" He cooed as his British friend-of-friend picked up.

"Oh, France... Hello..." Britain said, with obvious strain in his his voice.

"'Arkey is on 'is way home now. 'E did seem tired zough, I zink you should probably come and get 'im from zhe beach."

France heard Britain sigh painfully. "Why should I give up my time to do that? Couldn't you just drop him back to his house?"

"Because then I would have to see you, and I don't think I could have left you alone after that..."

Britain shuddered. "Alright fine, I'll go and get him..."

. . .

Britain sat back in the seat of his car, and wondered why Harkey was taking so long. Was he alright? He ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe France had set him up? There was no way of knowing. "Harkey, where are you...?" He said to himself.

Just then, he heard a familiar voice yell from behind him. "HIYA BRITAIN!"

He jumped, and spun around to look out of the window. "Harkey! Don't-"

As he laid eyes on his Harkeian friend, he temporarily lost the ability to speak. He took in his pale skin and his wet hair, his toned body and his tight swimsuit.

He choked on his words for a moment, then regained himself. "Don't do that!"

Harkey shrugged his shoulders, and walked up to the door. "Did you come to pick me up?"

"No," Britian snapped. "I just decided to come down here for... my groceries."

"To the beach?" Harkey smirked.

"Yes."

"Well, um, now you've got your groceries, can you drive me home?"

"No. You can walk back, lazy git."

"What?! But I just swam all the way from France's place!"

"Fine. Hurry up and get in."

Harkey's face lit up in a smile, and that smile caught Britain's breath more than that tight swimsuit ever had.