Phoenix Wright / Gyakuten Saiban, its settings and characters, are property of Capcom, and are being used here without permission. This fic is rated PG-13 for descriptions of Odoroki in a strip club. Spoilers as to the defendant of GS4 case 2.

Let's also pretend for a while that the subject matter isn't completely demeaning, this is just for fun.

"I'll Take You…To A Strip Club!"

"I'll take you."

It started with those three words. Where were they going? Why? Many questions, but the only answer Odoroki knew for certain was that he didn't have a choice.

It was after dark, and he was crammed into the back of a taxi between a grinning Kyouya and an irritable Takita. They made for an interesting trio: Kyouya, dressed stylishly as always in a slick navy shirt and familiar silver jewelry; Takita, arms crossed over a dirty denim jacket; and Odoroki, fresh from the office in his vest and tie. His mind spun curiously as he tried to imagine where they could possibly be going where each of their attire was appropriate.

"Just calm down," Kyouya said coolly. He had the window down, letting his hand bob up and down with the air streaming past the cab. "You really need this, my spiky friend. You're too uptight. It'll do you some good."

"You still haven't told us where we're going," Odoroki grumbled. "I could be working now, you know."

Kyouya smirked. "Don't be a spoil sport. Besides, I know you're not on a case now. So what's the harm?"

"The harm is you wasin' our time," Takita added his own complaints. "Why I gotta be here anyway? I don't want anything to do with you damn dirty cops!"

Odoroki rubbed his eyes. It was going to be a long night. "He's a prosecutor, not a cop."

Takita sniffed. "Same difference."

"Oh listen to you guys," Kyouya laughed. "Here I am taking you for a night out, and all you do is moan." He shifted, tugging his arm back inside the cab as he turned to face them better. "Think of it as me repaying you for the discomfort imposed upon you by our incompetent police force, Mr. Kitaki."

That seemed to satisfy Takita, but Odoroki shot Kyouya a look. I'm sure Detective Skye would love to hear that. "And me? Are you apologizing to me, too? Because it's really not necessary--I was just doing my job. So if you could let me out…."

Kyouya laughed, and snaked his arm around Odoroki's shoulder to give him a shake. "Can't you just go with the flow and enjoy yourself?"

"Apparently not…." Odoroki sighed. I just hope it isn't a concert. My ears are pounding already. "I guess I'm not enough like you."

"Yeah, I guess not." Kyouya's eyes thinned, indicating the arrival of some mischief to his brain. "You and I are nothing alike," he declared. "I'm a famous rock star and established lawyer--you're a greenhorn with some luck. I'm cool and have great fashion taste--you're a loudmouth in a cheap suit."

"It wasn't cheap," Odoroki muttered grumpily.

Kyouya continued anyway. "I'm tall, blonde, and incredibly popular, and you--" he smacked Odoroki lightly in the forehead "--have a big flat head."

Odoroki rubbed his head self-consciously and would have said more, but then Kyouya leaned forward, putting them at eye level. His voice lowered almost seriously as he held Odoroki's startled gaze. "But all that doesn't matter tonight," he told him gravely.

Odoroki stared back at him, dumbfounded. "Wh…why not…?"

"Because." Kyouya flashed him a bright grin. "Tonight you're with me."

He leaned back abruptly, and it wasn't until he pushed the door open with his foot that Odoroki realized the taxi had stopped. By the time he struggled out of his seat belt Kyouya was already outside. With Takita shoving him impatiently he climbed out of the vehicle, where his sight was immediately filled with flashing neon lights in the shape of…

A naked woman…?

"Oh, man!" Takita whooped, slapping Odoroki heartily on the shoulder. "Are you serious? This is definitely more like it!"

Odoroki gaped at the bright green illumination across the store front: sure enough, next to the hour-glass figure of a neon woman was the name "A Taste Of Texas." And below that, "Live Girls," "XXX" and "Full Nudes."

It was a strip club.

Even after taking in all these very obvious clues, Odoroki's mind was still slow to fully appreciate the situation. It took both his companion tugging his arms toward the door that finally jarred him. "Wait!" he nearly squeaked as he struggled weakly in the dual grip. "I'm not going in there!"

"Oh come on, Big Brow," Kyouya laughed. With height and weight on his side--combined with Takita's startling strength--Odoroki was pulled, step by step, towards the door. "It'll be good for you! Get you to unwind."

"But--but I can't," Odoroki stammered. His face flushed red with embarrassment--he'd never been to a place like this before, even in college. "And…and Kitaki can't, either! He's only ninete--"

"Hey, shut yer hole," Takita quickly snapped.

Kyouya's hand tightened around Odoroki's wrist, and a quick yank pulled him off balance. He had to take several unsteady steps forward to keep from falling over completely. "Like I said," the prosecutor said brightly as he continued to lead Odoroki to the door. "That doesn't matter tonight. You're both with me."

Takita gave a whoop, and moved to push at Odoroki's back. As they reached the entrance, it took only a nod from Kyouya and a wad of cash to the bouncer's pocket for them to gain entry, no IDs checked, no question of the underage Takita. Odoroki had no choice but to give up his serious protests, though he didn't make it easy on his captors, either.

"You must come here often," he grumbled at Kyouya.

Kyouya laughed again. He was enjoying himself far too much for Odoroki's tastes. "Even rock stars need to relax," he replied.

They stepped through a set of old west style swinging doors, into the interior of the club. Being a Friday night it was packed with bodies, and the smell of smoke and booze hit Odoroki like smack to the face. He turned a little green, remembering why he didn't go out like this often. But he was in, now. The best he could do was play along just long enough that the pair wouldn't notice when he slipped away. He could call a cab of his own and head home…

Once his eyes adjusted to the different lighting, Odoroki was granted a full view of the inside. The club was rather large, boasting a broad stage with several sections protruding into the audience of twenty to thirty tables. It was…a western theme. The waitresses weaving through the tables with drinks were all in white leather and topped with ten gallon hats, complete with silver stars on over their breasts and buttocks. On the stage, the lights had focused on a slender blonde woman who was just stepping out. Even though she was still fully clothed, Odoroki blushed darkly at the sensuous movements of her dance.

"Aw, man." Takita's eyes were impossibly wide as he surveyed their smoky, flashy surroundings. "I take back most'a what I said about you cops."

Kyouya grinned smugly with accomplishment. "Come on. I'll get us a table by the stage."

"Huh?" Odoroki blinked, and soon found himself being tugged by the wrist again.

As they passed the bar, a dark haired man pouring drinks gave a wave. "Garyuu! Where have you been? The girls miss you!"

Kyouya laughed, and went to wave back, but ended up shaking Odoroki's hand at him instead. "You know how it is, Marshall. Send a round over for my friends here, won't you?"

"Whatever you say, Rock Star."

"You know the owner?" Takita said incredulously once they'd moved on. "You must be real hard up for a girl to come here that often."

Odoroki choked faintly, but Kyouya only chuckled. "He's an ex-cop," he explained as he led them to a table near the front, even though it was already occupied. "And I'm good for business--I tip really well."

As they drew closer to the stage, Odoroki's attention swerved back to the blonde atop it. He suddenly couldn't remember what she had been wearing, except that it was more than she was now: a pink bikini top and miniskirt so short he could see her thong above and below. She gave a wink as she turned, and though Odoroki was sure it wasn't meant for him, he quickly looked away.

Kyouya, meanwhile, was exchanging more enthusiastic greetings with a man seated in the table he seemed intent on taking. To Odoroki's surprise, the man--and the busty, pink-haired woman on his arm--relinquished their seats.

"If you want to take your friends to the VIP booth, just give a holler." The man, a tall, lanky fellow with spiked brown hair and a goatee, slapped Kyouya on the shoulder. "But I'm not covering your booze this time. Your cop friends drink too much."

"Did I ask for a freebie?" Kyouya took Odoroki by both shoulders, forcing him down into a seat. "You know me, Mr. Butz, just here to have a good time."

"Fine, fine." He waved to them and started off. "Be nice to my girls!"

Takita eyed the woman as she passed--or rather, her impressive bust--which earned him a death glare unlike anything Odoroki had seen before. It startled Takita down into a seat of his own. Kyouya joined them just as the blonde reached behind her back to undo her top. The crowd gave a whoop of approval.

"I don't believe this," Odoroki muttered. When the dancer turned he caught a glance of uncovered nipple, and clapped his hands over his eyes. It was a silly reaction and his "friends" were quick to torment him.

"Oh come on, Flat Head," Takita groaned, punching him in the shoulder harder than was necessary. "Ain't you never seen a pair before?"

"I love taking out virgins," Kyouya added.

"I'm not--" Odoroki shoved his hands down, but when he turned to argue he found himself face to face with a pair of the roundest, most perfect set of breasts he'd ever laid eyes on. They were attached to the waitress, who was slipping a beer bottle into his hand.

"Hey, cutie," she greeted with a smirk. "Haven't seen you here before."

Odoroki stammered ungracefully over a reply. "Uh…."

"It's his first time," Kyouya supplied. He slipped some cash into the pocket of her short shorts, an action Takita was all too eager to mirror. "In all respects."

"G-Garyuu!" Odoroki sputtered. And then, when he noticed Takita accepting his own beer, "T-Takita! You're not--"

"Say one more word and yer dead," Takita snapped. He twisted the cap off with a decisive jerk of his hand and took a long gulp of the booze.

Odoroki started to protest again, but he soon gave up. It didn't seem like anyone was willing to listen to him that day. With a sigh of resignation he uncapped his own bottle. "If Minuki heard about this, she'd kill me," he muttered.

Kyouya shot him a smirk. "Oh relax already. Enjoy Princess' show."

He waved to the stage, where the blonde was doing a slow turn around a pole mounted at the edge of the stage. Odoroki blushed again but this time forced himself not to turn away. He'd had enough of being teased. Why shouldn't I enjoy it? he thought determinedly, sipping his beer. It's been a hard few months. I deserve it! This…this is what guys do, right? He frowned around the mouth of his bottle. I guess.

"Princess" twisted, arching her back against the pole so that her perky, lovely breasts gave an enticing little bounce. Odoroki forgot all his complaints.

The music began to transition into a new song, and a fresh pair of dancers approached the stage from the wings, indicating a changeover. Princess gave one last turn and blew a kiss to some customers in the front row before turning to go. As she came closer to where the three were seated she glanced over and, noticing Kyouya, sent him a bright grin.

A tremor ran up the length of Odoroki's left arm.

He was too busy watching her smooth steps to realize what it was at first. But as she passed in front of them Odoroki's sight suddenly flared red, and he found himself staring very intensely at a drop of sweat as it trickled oh so slowly down the curve of her cleavage--

What!? Odoroki jumped, clapping his hand over his eyes again. Wait, I didn't mean to--

"You like her, Big Brow?" Kyouya teased, giving him a shake. "I'll call her over."

"N-No, I--" Odoroki glanced up cautiously, but it was too late--Kyouya had signaled to the girl, and as her place was taken on the stage by a skinny brunette she hopped down and started towards them. To make matters worse his bracelet was still reacting: she seemed to move in slow motion as she approached, every movement making her bright blonde curls bounce against her naked shoulders.

"Hey there, Regina," Kyouya greeted, and when he offered a hand she took it. "You look great, as always."

"It's 'Princess' when I'm at work, Kyou-kins," she reminded sweetly. She took in Kyouya's guests with a smile. "I see you have some new friends."

Odoroki tensed; the rest of the sounds of the bar fell away, everything going dark except for the petite goddess whose soft smile filled his gaze. "Uh…"

"Housuke Odoroki and Takita Kitaki," Kyouya introduced. He dug around in his pocket for more money. "Got a dance for us?"

"Sweetie, I just came down--let me get cleaned up and I'll come back and give you boys a proper lap dance." She ran her fingers through her hair; not one of the glimmering strands escaped Odoroki's notice. "I'm all icky and sweaty."

"We don't mind!" Takita spoke up hastily.

This…is not good. Odoroki forced his eyes down to the ugly dark carpet. Cut it out, Odoroki! But no matter how he concentrated he couldn't get the Minuku System to stop. This isn't what it's for!

Someone gave his bangs a tug, and Odoroki glanced up reflexively--his gaze snapped instantly to another pair of impossibly sublime breasts, moving slightly with each breath the woman took. "Aww, he's shy," Princess cooed. "That's adorable."

She gave his cheek a tap. "Okay, one dance."

Odoroki flattened his back against his chair, but there was no escape. He could just barely hear Takita's excited cheers as the woman began to sway in front of him. This isn't happening, he told himself, beginning to feel light-headed as his sight tried to zoom in on every bit of her gleaming, undulating frame at once. I'm dreaming.

"Hey." Princess turned, giving her hips a little shake. "Haven't I seen you before?"

Odoroki, who had been busy studying the point at which her G-string disappeared between two tight cheeks, gave a start. "I'm a lawyer!" he declared.

"Oh!" Princess laughed, her voice like music. Odoroki's toes curled in his shoes. "That's right, I saw you on the news!"

"He's a natural behind the bench," Kyouya added. "Aren't you, kid?"

Odoroki's jaw worked, but he couldn't speak. The room was starting to spin, revolving around the golden nymph that was twirling in front of him. His eyes skipped from her fluttering eyelashes, to the curve of her ass, her adorable belly button, her pert nipples--

"I'm…" Odoroki shivered. "…fine. I'm just fine."

Princess chuckled, and her manicured nails slid across the bare skin of her waist, coming to rest on the tie of her final piece of clothing: her bright pink thong. "Really? Then maybe I'm not trying hard enough…"

The knot fell open under only slight pressure, and instantly Odoroki's eyes zoomed involuntarily forward, anxiously awaiting the first glimpse of--

And that's when everything went black.

It was actually a rather peaceful feeling.

"Stand back, everyone! I know exactly what I'm doing!"

Odoroki's reprieve didn't last very long. As he drifted happily in the sudden, darkened nothingness, he was interrupted just as abruptly by a pair of soft lips on his. He smiled--at least while he was unconscious he could single out just one of the many sensations his Minuku had been trying to feed him.

A rush of hot, onion-flavored breath broke that vision, too. When Odoroki's eyes snapped open he found himself staring up into a pale, almost skeletal face with wide eyes and flared nostrils. His startled scream sent all the many people crowded around reaching for their ears.

"Oh good." Kawadzu clasped his hands together. "He is saved."

"Y-You!?" Odoroki turned his head about. He was laid out on a dirty sofa in what looked like a back stage area, several anxious faces pressing in around him: Kyouya, Takita, Princess, the owners, and several more of the girls. He rubbed the back of his neck as his face flushed red in embarrassment. "What happened?"

"Ya passed out," Takita was all too happy to declare. "It's a good thing bug-eye here is a perv after all."

Kawadzu shuddered. "I am not!"

"Was I too much for you, honey?" Princess laughed.

"Total lightweight," Jake added.

Odoroki closed his eyes again with a sigh. At least his bracelet had calmed down, not that it helped their teasing. As they continued to prattle on around him he beckoned with a finger. "Garyuu."

He couldn't see the prosecutor, but when the man spoke it was from close by. "Yeah?"

"I've had enough."

Kyouya chuckled, and gave his hair a ruffle. "All right.

"I'll take you home."