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I'm a Fool for You
"What are you pouting about now, Dara-chan?" Kakashi asked, plopping down beside the fuming Uchiha. They were on top of the Hokage Monument, where Hashirama and Madara used to sit and imagine a peaceful village, a safe haven keeping children protected and off the battlefield. Now, looking out over that village, things weren't quite as Madara had imagined. But, in some ways, they were better. Madara looked over towards one of those better things, to see a smiling eye in an otherwise covered face.
"I'm not pouting," Madara huffed—becoming even more irate—but not tearing his eyes away from the love of his life.
"Maa"—Kakakshi reached out to pinch Madara's lower lip between thumb and forefinger "that looks like a pout to me."
Madara bit at Kakashi's fingers, eliciting a chuckle from the masked man. In fact, that mask was starting to become bothersome…
As if sensing where Madara's thoughts were turning, Kakashi pulled his hand back in retreat, casually reclining back onto his elbows. Looking up towards the—once more—pouting Uchiha, Kakashi sighed, "Dara-chan is so mean…"
Madara lifted a single brow at these dramatics.
"…it must be his insecurity"—Kakashi dodged the fist that tried to grab for his vest by rolling into Madara, causing the other man to fall on his back—"making him so angry all the time."
Messy hair sprawled around his head, Madara continued to pout—okay, okay, he was 'glaring' up at Kakashi.
"I hate her," Madara mumbled, his hands on Kakashi's waist, thumbs sneaking their way under his lover's shirt.
"Who?" Kakashi asked, honestly confused.
Madara pointedly looked up towards the sky, causing Kakashi's gaze to follow. When Kakashi understood just 'who' Madara was talking about, Kakashi began to chuckle once more.
"Now now, Dara-chan, it's your fault, you know. Since you were jealous—"
"I WAS NOT JEALOUS!"
"—of a little book."
"…it's your favourite book," Madara mumbled, his hands trailing up under Kakashi's shirt to feel his skin more closely. Why did Kakashi insist on wearing so much clothing all the time?
Kakashi smiled down at the man who loved him so much, he hired an author to write him a book. But not just any book…this was the story of how Kakashi and Madara fell in love.
"This latest chapter was my favourite," Kakashi added, dropping down to place a masked kiss on Madara's neck, before nuzzling his face in that same crevice.
"She…she wrote me…so pathetically!" Madara huffed, forgetting temporarily the author's unfavourable adjective choices as he turned to brush his nose up against Kakashi's hair, breathing the other man in.
"Maa…she's just trying to tell the story accurately—"
Madara bit at Kakashi's ear.
"I thought I was the biter in this relationship?" Kakashi punctuated this with a nip at Madara's neck, his hand having slipped down his mask just long enough for teeth to meet flesh, soothed by a swipe of his tongue.
When Madara carded his fingers in Kakashi's hair and pulled his face up to meet with those uncovered lips, Kakashi's mask was back in its place once more. Madara exhaled in frustration, dropping his head with a soft thump back on the ground.
"She's always going on about how…desperate, and wistful and…and…pathetic, I was, mooning over you, even emulating Tatsumi, of all people!"
"Tatsumi is very beautiful," Kakashi teased, just to see the possessive fire light in Madara's eyes. "But Dara-chan should know that I prefer the view from here."
Madara smirked, pulling Kakashi down for a kiss, the fingers of his other hand slipping under Kakashi's mask—this time, without protest. He pushed the fabric just low enough to expose Kakashi's lips, before capturing them with his own. The kiss was lazy, slow brushes of lips and tongue and teeth—Kakashi was a biter, after all—soothing Madara's ruffled feathers—
"Alright, that's it!" Madara yelled up towards the sky, sitting up and forcing Kakashi back on his heels, his mask already in its proper place. "I don't pout, I don't whine, and I don't have ruffled feathers!" Madara's hair puffed up around him, not unlike how a bird would puff up—
"I AM NOT A BIRD!" Madara was on his feet now, still screaming at the sky. His rage quickly turned his face red. For once, his flush was in anger and not in embarrassment—
"I'M ANGRY MORE OFTEN THAN EMBARASSED, THAT LINE ISN'T EVEN TRUE!"
While Madara huffed and puffed in denial—
"I AM NOT IN DENIAL!"
—Kakashi was sitting back, watching the spectacle unfold. He couldn't help but laugh at the scene Madara was making of himself, getting into a losing argument with an omnipotent force.
"Maa…saying 'that line isn't even true,' must mean that the other ones were, which means Dara-chan is in denial…"
"Oh don't you start too!" Madara growled, whipping around to snarl at Kakashi. Kakashi was his, which meant he should be backing Madara up, not siding with the lovely and completely accurate author.
"WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET MESSING WITH UCHIHA MADARA!11!1one!1!" Madara yelled like a crazy person, spinning in circles and stomping around like a complete nutso.
"Maa…Author-chan…Dara-chan didn't even say that…"
The author clearly ignored Kakashi's interference; the more handsome ninja was only trying to save Madara's reputation. How lovely. Kakashi was always looking out for people, even when they didn't deserve it. What an angel.
"I told you the author was biased!"
"Mou…Dara-chan doesn't think I'm an angel?"
Madara sputtered like a fool, "You're the light in my life, you perfect, wondrous angel—dammit he's the devil in disguise, now the author is putting words into my mouth?"
"Is there something else you'd rather have in your mouth?" Kakashi winked—wait he's wearing his hitai-ate, he can't actually wink, but Madara knew what was going on and was down for some of that Kaka-dick—
"Wait…this isn't even her usual writing…what's happening?"
"Mou…Dara-chan doesn't want some of this 'Kaka-dick?'"
"I always want that Kaka-dick—I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT YOU DAMNED HARPY! WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU WILL REGRET EVER PUTTING SUCH VILE WORDS IN MY MOUTH!"
Kakashi watched on in bemusement, pulling out his book from his back pouch. "Have fun with Author-chan," he said with a two-fingered salute in goodbye, before turning to walk off.
"That's impossible—where do you think you're going?" Madara chased after Kakashi, much preferring his lover's company to that of the author who was trying to celebrate April Fools' Day by teasing Madara. He deserved it, after all. Not like Kakashi. Kakashi was perfect.
"She has such a bias for you," Madara muttered as the duo walked side-by-side.
"Do you want me to talk to her?" Kakashi offered, flipping to the next page one handed, while reaching for Madara's hand with the other.
Madara scoffed. "I don't want you anywhere near her." Madara could only imagine what the author would do to Kakashi if she had him all alone.
Kakashi's thumb started unconsciously brushing over Madara's knuckles. Suddenly, Madara's anger was forgotten. "Come on," he said, pulling Kakashi back with him to their former perch—he pointedly ignored the bird reference in favour of the man beside him. The author thought this was a smart choice. In fact, if the author had to choose between cuddling with Kakashi and yelling at an omnipotent entity, she would have chosen Kakashi too. Madara made his first smart choice of the day.
Madara continued to ignore the author. He smirked smugly. She was only jealous, after all.
"Stop teasing Author-chan," Kakashi piped up, sitting back on the ground and dragging Madara with him. "She's just going to be worse to you in the next chapter."
Madara scoffed, "It's impossible to look more pathetic than she made me out in that chapter."
"You'd be surprised," Kakashi teased. Only, it wasn't exactly teasing, since the 'book' he was reading was actually the first draft of the next chapter.
"WHAT? She's letting you read the chapter early?" Madara reached for the manuscript, but Kakashi deftly avoided his grabby hands. "She told me that I couldn't see them until they're finished!"
"I'm her beta-reader," Kakashi informed, pulling out a red pen and correcting something, conveniently proving his point.
"That's not fair," Madara pouted, crossing his arms petulantly. "I'm the one who asked her to write it for you."
Kakashi leaned over to kiss Madara quickly on his lips. "That's why I get to beta it."
Things started to click together in Madara's mind.
"You…you're why I always look so desperate in these chapters!?"
Kakashi's eyes went wide as he unconsciously stiffened. Madara automatically knew he had messed up. But what had he said? Madara was the one who looked like a fool, like he couldn't control himself around Kakashi, not the other way around. What did Kakashi have to be upset by?
Oh.
Oh.
Madara got on his knees, crawling to close the small distance between them. One hand went to the back of Kakashi's neck, while the other pushed the manuscript aside. "Why don't you put that down, and I'll show you just how desperate you make me…"
Kakashi, eyes wide, let the book drop from now limp fingers as he pulled Madara towards him with his legs. Madara's now free hand slipped under Kakashi's mask, and with one last smirk, he caught Kakashi's lips with his own.
The author left to eat dinner, giving the lovers some privacy.
AN: yeah, that's right. I ended it there lol. I hope you enjoyed it! I posted this yesterday on tumblr and decided to put it up here too.
Happy April Fools' Day! I hope you didn't have any mean pranks played on you.
Btw, this was unbeta'd, as my beta is currently occupied with a certain pouting Uchiha.
Note: to anyone maybe reading this in the future, the chapter Kakashi liked is Chapter 5, and he's editing Chapter 6.