So this fic comes from me commenting on Twitter that Lisbon has been chasing Jane a lot lately and Brit commenting on the tiger scene in this most recent episode. I got this sudden plot bunny about Jane purposely trying to get Lisbon to chase him, and couldn't go to sleep until I typed this up. The middle instance is completely made up; the other two writing out and continuations of actual scenes. Apologies for any awfulness it might include. Blame Brit and the plot bunny. :D
I don't own anything but damn, this would be a great show to be able to brag about!
"We need to find the real killer." Jane raised his eyebrows slightly while he waited for Lisbon's response. It was, as he had half expected, a headshake and a brief "no. No way."
"We don't have time to argue," Jane said, letting his eyes fall to her lunch.
Lisbon looked like she was angry for some reason. "This is not our problem!"
"Justice isn't our problem?"
Lisbon wasn't backing down. "The jury has heard arguments for three months, they are fully equipped to determine the truth."
Jane glanced at her sandwich again, grinning inwardly. "And what if they don't, and an innocent woman gets punished because you were too busy eating?" He grabbed the sandwich and took a bite, backing away.
"That's my sandwich," Lisbon protested.
"Mmmhmm," Jane said, turning and starting to run. He heard Lisbon quicken her pace behind him. "Give it!" He grinned broadly. He found it way too amusing whenever this woman chased him, she got almost childlike about it even in her anger.
Jane picked up the pace and sprinted across the parking lot; he was fast, but Lisbon was a trained cop. He felt her grab onto the back of his suit and tug, so he put the sandwich back in his mouth and held his arms out behind him so that the suit jacket slid right off of him. Then he spun around, sandwich still in his mouth, and grinned as he slowed his pace; no one could really run backwards.
"You're aware we, law enforcement workers, just sprinted across a parking lot in front of a lot of people because you stole my lunch?" Lisbon asked.
Jane shrugged and held out what remained of the sandwich to Lisbon. She took it and glared at him, making a scene over ripping off the part he hadn't bitten off of and cramming that part in her mouth while spiking the bit off end on the ground.
"Come now," Jane said teasingly, "are you really going to litter just to make a point?"
She shrugged, smirking. "It's biodegradable."
Jane lay on his couch and stared up at the ceiling. The stain had been very uncooperative recently; it hadn't taken on any new exciting qualities that he could bug Lisbon about. And he was in a bugging Lisbon kind of mood; especially since she was still upset with him for helping Erica Flynn out of prison, an event which led to her subsequent escape. Apparently, that was his way of putting up some stupid wall between them where they'd gone back a few years in their communication skills. He wished he could get her to lighten up.
Sitting up, Jane tilted his head so he could see out the window, glancing out of the corner of his eye to where Lisbon stood, talking to Van Pelt. When the latter nodded and walked away, Jane glanced out the window again and then jumped up. "Lisbon!"
She looked over at him. "What?"
"Come with me, come with me!" He made a great show of waving his arms and took off for the stairs.
"What's going on?" Lisbon asked, jumping over a box by an empty office to keep up. "Stairs? What's wrong with the elevators?"
"Just hurry!" Jane said, jumping from halfway down the flight to the bottom and cringing when his knees took more impact than he thought. "Oooh." He recovered and continued running until they were outside of the CBI, near to where the car bomb had blinded him years ago.
Lisbon, panting, came to a stop a few feet from him. "What?" She asked, beginning to look as if she knew nothing extremely important was going on.
Jane stretched his arms up to the sky. "Family of hawks," he said. "I saw a family, a beautiful family of hawks. But they're gone now."
Lisbon frowned. "There is no way you could see anything on this side of the parking lot from your couch."
"I guess I'm just still full of so many delightful surprises, now aren't I?" Jane said, letting out a deep breath and bending to put his hands on his knees. "I clearly surprised my joints taking those stairs that way." He straightened and shook his head. "Whew."
Lisbon was still giving him an odd look, so he let his expression change abruptly from tired to thrilled, grinning wildy. She regarded him another moment, then grinned herself, shaking her head slightly in amusement as she turned to go back inside. "You are so strange."
Jane shrugged, following obediently behind her. "Eh."
"Be advised that one tiger is still outstanding."
It amused Jane to see Rigsby yelling over his shoulder that one tiger was still on the loose as he and Van Pelt took off at a dead run. If the tiger wanted to get one of them, it would have pounced before the mass of people were running like the Wildebeest herd in The Lion King toward their cars.
"We'll meet you back at the CBI," Lisbon said to the two other agents, and Jane tried not to smirk; where else would she meet them? Wainwright's house? The mall? Pasadena?
"You are a cool customer," Lisbon said, power walking beside him as they headed in the direction of the wildebeest herd. Seeing the people continue to run, putting distance between themselves and the alleged location of the tiger, made Jane raise an eyebrow slightly, glancing at Lisbon. "You think you can outrun a tiger?"
Jane made sure his stride didn't change and his tone was calm before he answered her. He needed to take her by surprise. "I don't have to," he said. "I just have to run…" he jumped forward "faster than you!" he finished, taking off and crossing in front of her as he made a beeline for the car.
She didn't respond, but he knew she was running, too. She didn't really have to, there were still people near to where the other tigers were found that the tiger, should it have not wanted to eat a runner – and it would have likely chosen one of the people now at the cars – could very easily go after.
This was just way more fun.
Jane reached the car first and tugged on the handle, realizing that once again, Lisbon hadn't had a chance to unlock it. At least it wasn't raining this time.
She slowed to a walk and smiled from the other side of the car. "Maybe I'll just leave you locked out. Like you would have been had I and the car keys been eaten by a tiger." She leaned against the vehicle and shrugged. "Whatever would you have done then?"
Jane shrugged back. "Figured something out. I always do."
"Yeah," Lisbon said. "Like you figured out how to survive the tiger attack – sacrifice me."
Jane wondered briefly if she was going to bring up how he'd promised her he'd save her no matter what, but she didn't, and he had a feeling that it was because she took that seriously, and Serious Lisbon wasn't at work this morning.
Lisbon was, as evidenced by the run, in a playful mood, not too uptight or preoccupied – although as soon as she realized Cho wasn't around yet she'd probably snap out of that quickly. But she was playful for now.
And that amused Jane to no end.
And any time Patrick Jane could get Agent Teresa Lisbon to chase him like they were two little kids, he was going to take advantage of it. He needed to keep amusement in his life.
And considering it was Lisbon, the hard working non - hugger, he considered doing this three times in one month quite the accomplishment.
Thanks to Kris and Amber for being my Twitter betas who stay awake and on Twitter for most of the day so I can tweet them questions on specific stuff! :D
