A/N: This story is a combination of re-watching 5x10 (but this story starts at the last episode of season 1) and listening to Michael Bolton`s "How am I supposed to live without you", he was holding a damn tea cup in the video and this happened. Plus it`s raining and the sky is grey so I am under the weather. Please don`t kill me.

BTW I don not like Will but since the show already had them together and I could`t think of anyone else to pair Belle up with we are stocked with him. Also Belle is not Lacey I do not like her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of its characters.

Rumpelstiltskin kept staring at the dammed envelop, Belle`s wedding invitation, thinking the pain is unbearable. He was suffering again just like when he thought she had died. But who was he kidding? That pain was much worse than this one. At least now he could remember her smile while she shared her plans and the sparkle in her eyes as she handed him the wedding invitation and know that at least something was right.

He had been drinking Scotch since that moment like there was no tomorrow. Deep down maybe he was just expecting his liver to give away so he could die before her big day. But he was still the Dark One and right now living forever seemed much more of a curse than a blessing.

While sitting there, with the glass in his hand and the bottle on the table, he remembered what was the happiest day of his life: the day when Belle first showed up in his store after years of captivity.

2 Years Before

He could barely believe she was really there, thinking he was losing his mind or that it was another plan from the Evil Queen, but one touch to her shoulder told him she was real. She, of course could not remember how he was, but that was ok. He just had to wait and once the Saviour broke the curse everything would get back to normal, he would be granted a second chance with his True Love and they could finally be together and look for his son.

When they came back from the well he realized the curse was indeed broken and everyone remembered who they really were except Belle. She kept looking at him like he was a stranger to her and while everyone was hugging and kissing, happy to see their friends and loved ones, her behaviour and emotions towards him were exactly the same as when she walked through the store.

He left Belle on the store with some fresh clothes and food and went to the Evil Queen for explanations and revenge (not exactly in that order). She said it was her gift to Belle so she did not had to live with the burden of loving a monster. That caught him out of guard but he didn't back down. He marked her and summoned the soul sucker but of course the Charmings had to get in the way. She had also advised him making a potion could risk Belle lose her mind for good and although he was not sure he could trust her but he did not want to take any risks.

The next couple of days were spent taking care of Belle, making sure she was healthy and was eating properly. But as time passed by she was getting restless of doing nothing and although she could not remember being Belle in her heart she was still the same person he knew and loved so he had to do something about it because she was not capable of staying put. So knowing her passion for books he took her to the library and asked her if she wanted to work there. She hugged him so tightly he almost lost his balance only her arms and his cane preventing him from falling. She apologized and kissed his cheek as a thank you.

Of course working in the library meant she had her own apartment and so she moved out of his house happy she was no longer a burden to him – he smiled to himself – if only she knew how much of a burden she really was. Once she got out of his house he felt like her life started. She made friends, reunited with her father and hang out on the city, occasionally visiting him for everything he had done for her. One of the friends she made was called Will Scarlet, friends of Robin Hood, the man she freed all those years ago. This was all a sick joke from the universe.

From that day forward he started to see them together around the city and one thing led to the other and suddenly they were in love and planning to get married – Rumpelstiltskin`s heart tightened in his chest – that day where he saw them kissing was one of the worst days of his life and he remembered drinking everything he had in the store and in the house.

Rumpelstiltskin cleared his head of the memories and got up. Tomorrow was Belle`s wedding day and he refused to look less than presentable for her so he put the Scotch away and went to bed. He knew he wouldn't sleep but he would at least try to clear the numbness.

Next day – The Wedding Day

Belle and Will`s wedding was going to happen at the same well where he first took her in Storybrook. She had shared with him that it was such a beautiful place and could not think of a better place for the ceremony to happen.

He put their gift down, a tea set, in the designated place, and took a seat at the back. He watched as Belle`s father, Maurice (Moe in this land), handed his daughter to Will, beaming while staring at him when he took his place. He watched as Belle and Will exchanged their wedding vows, promising eternal love and fidelity to each other. Belle looked like she was glowing, the sunlight hit her in the right way making her look like some sort of angelic creature.

-Mr. Gold you made it. – Belle said while approaching him.

-Of course dearie. I was not going to miss such an important day in your life. – He said while she hugged him. – By the way you are stunning the dress fits you perfectly.

-Thank you – Belle answered blushing. – Please enjoy yourself. – She said after Will called her and walked away.

Rumpelstiltskin nodded when she left him and Maurice approached him. He was going to leave but the other man stopped him. – Are you in a hurry Gold? Because I want to talk to you.

-Be quick. – Was the dry answer Maurice got.

- You know there was a moment I wanted to be sorry for you because of this cruel joke but I can`t. Every time I look at Belle and see her smile I am just happy she cannot remember you and what you put her through in the Dark Castle. My daughter is a princess and you treated her like a servant this is your price.

-Do not talk about what you do not know. – Rumpelstiltskin answered aggressively trying to keep his emotions in check. He could not hurt Maurice or Belle was not going to get close to him ever again. Maybe that was not such a bad idea but he could not be the one to ruin her happiness.

-Oh my goods you love her. – Maurice noticed while laughing. – This is too good to be truth. To her you are just a pathetic old man, older than every inhabitant of Storybrook together maybe this is the way the universe had found for you to payback all your bad deeds. She sees you as a father not someone she could love.

Those words hit Rumpelstiltskin as a ton of bricks. Maurice was right. It was not just that Belle could not remember him she saw him as the man who took care of her when she needed. Maurice left with a smile in his face and Rumpelstiltskin decided it was time for him to go home and forget his sorrow while dreaming of what their life could have been. Because deep down in his hearth the man that Rumpelstiltskin once was knew he has not worthy of her.