A/N: I wrote this for my friend Kayleh, and have never written slash before. So be nice!
Jacob was lying in his bed, staring aimlessly and the pale ceiling. He couldn't sleep. His mind was racing, and at the center of his thoughts laid one boy… No, one man. Edward Cullen. Jacob could easily picture him; pale skin gleaming, eyes sparkling with immeasurable intensity. He was gorgeous. But Jacob wasn't gay… No, of course not. He couldn't be.
…Could he?
His mind wandered like this for hours, until he eventually fell into a restless sleep. He awoke with a start, all sense of time and space temporarily gone. The only thing he knew was that he had been dreaming of Edward again. "Ugh!" he yelled, "I really don't want to deal with this boner right now!" But, well, he had to. He pulled his pants down to his knees, and pulled out his rock-hard dick. He stroked his weeping cock ferociously until he inevitably came to orgasm. Yet another night alone.
…Or was he?
Edward sat crouched on the windowsill, quietly and mindlessly palming his balls through his pants. He could hear Jacob through the thin glass. He was moaning Edward's name. Edward was starting to get super horny. So, without even thinking at all, he threw himself through the window, glass flying everywhere. Edward yelled, "HONEY! I'M HOMO!" and pounced onto the younger man. Jacob was frozen in surprise, while Edward thrust his crotch into the werewolf's face and going "unf unf unf".
"Whaaaaaat…" Jacob muffled through the immortal's testicles, "Hm, could be worse". Suddenly, Edward stopped thrusting and got up. Jacob moaned at the loss. The immortal suddenly snapped his fingers and his clothes disintegrated into glitter, revealing an 11'' rock-hard dick. "WOAH HUBBA HUBBA!" Jacob screamed. "Yeah, vampire perks", uttered Edward, voice full of lust. Another snap of the fingers sent Jacob's clothing into a matching pile of glitter. Edward moaned. "I WANT TO BE YOUR COCKSLUTTT…!", he whispered silently. So Jacob took the Vampire's ass to his face and stuck his tongue right in his pooper. Edward screamed, "AH FUCK YES I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!" So Edward went on his knees, ass in the air. So Jacob stuck his wee wee into the other's bottom, until one was balls-deep inside the other. They both screamed and thrusted for a few hours until, finally, they came at the same time. Jacob pulled out right after, and noticed that Edward's ass was covered in all his little Jacobs. But instead of cumming, Edward had…?
"Edward is that…?"
"Glitter glue? Vampire perks!"
And so they spent the rest of the evening making a card to Bella, telling her that she was a big weirdo and stuff. They decorated it with glitter glue.
Please R&R!