Okay, to everyone who has read it, I'm taking a short break from Love Is A Many Splendored Thing for today (12 chapters at this point). To everyone who hasn't, go read it and then come back to this one :D.
This is a nice, short little one-shot that came to me from nowhere. It's about a very angsty Doctor…that's all. Just his angstiness inserted in between Not much of a plot, really. Hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: No one would be more thrilled to own Doctor Who than I, but life is stupid and I do not.
The last Time Lord leaned moodily against the flaking blue-painted door of his beloved ship. He picked glumly at a bit of paint and stared up at the clear night sky. The stars flickered cheerfully, but their mood hardly reflected his. Those stars…he could name each one. There was the Fellopre sun, and the Yamanka one over there. There was the Breefus space station; it was big enough that, with a little light projection, it could be mistaken for a distant star. That tiny dot of light near the Big Dipper was actually a Priont factory; not a soul, even some of the Prionts themselves, knew what it produced. The Doctor knew, of course, and was sorry for it. But that was the cost of being a Time Lord: things happened that you didn't particularly wish for.
Nothing ever turns out the way I need it to.
He sighed and opened the door to the TARDIS, grasping its wooden side for a moment. Memories came flooding back…that day when she came running to him with the loveliest smile he had ever seen. He had opened his door to her, knowing how it would end, but he did it all the same. Loneliness was unbearable - it was one of his few weaknesses - but he kept making it deeper every time another companion set foot inside his world. Another girl, another heartache. But this one, this one had been different…somehow…
I should have pushed her away when I had the chance.
"Doctor! Doctor!" He turned to see a radiant Martha flying toward him, a pink suitcase in unsteady tow. She reached him and, panting, leaned down on her knees to catch her breath. "Sorry…I was…a bit longer…than I'd thought…Mum…hadn't finished with…the dryer…so I…"
I'm so sorry that I can't appreciate your company as much as you appreciate mine.
"You should be more careful, my Martha Jones," he twinkled, smiling at her. "I was just fixing to take off. Without you," he reprimanded gravely.
I'm just bluffing…the emptiness would crush me.
"Seriously?"
No.
He erupted in peals of laughter, slapping a kneecap. "Of course not seriously! I may be a lot of things, but I am not a jerk."
If only you knew.
"You're coming miiiighty close, mister," she told him, poking his chest mock-menacingly.
I'm way past that border, Martha.
"Sorry, mum," the Doctor whimpered sarcastically, cowering in false fear. "Please, mum, don't whip me, please, mum." After a frozen pause, both started laughing uncontrollably. "You do a wonderful impression of John Lennon, Doctor," she choked.
That wasn't John Lennon…or was it? I don't think it was…
He shook even harder at this and spluttered, "Good God, Martha, you should be a stand-up comedian, not a medical student. You can strangely tell the best ways to make me laugh."
Or I just know how to fake it well.
"It's my birthright," she said seriously, sending them giggling for no reason once again.
Why do I keep up the charade?
"Okay, now, really seriously," Martha said, pulling herself together. "Where are we off to now? The farthest reaches of outer space… the heart and soul of a golden empire…the time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth… What'll it be?"
Couldn't it just be nowhere for a change?
"Oh, I don't know…I can't decide. Why don't we just…take a rest for one night?"
Please let me sleep without dreams tonight.
"You kidding? You've never taken a 'rest' your whole life; I bet you anything!"
You lose.
"No, really…" He sighed and placed his gaze somewhere above and to the right of her head. "I'm…tired. I need a break, a rest from all this gogogogo action. Sorry," he apologized, meeting her eyes again, "I know you didn't sign up to take naptime, but…"
Maybe you did; did you bother to ask?
"It's okay," she said quickly, frowning slightly. "We can take a breather, if you like." She continued to stare at him worriedly as they entered the TARDIS. A rest? The Doctor? Come on. She had accepted a lot of things lately, such as the existence of alien life and the concept of time travel, but this she could not believe.
I get tired sometimes too, you know.
"Doctor?" she asked tentatively, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Go away.
"What?"
Please just leave me to cry in peace.
"It's just…you can talk to me, you know. You've got someone to talk to." A warm smile formed on her face.
I'm so sorry… I can't return your charity the way you want me to.
The Doctor, looking taken aback, returned it after a few seconds. "…Thank you, Martha. I'll…I'll remember that."
Actually, I will.
"Is there anything you want to talk about now?" she asked soberly. "Anything at all?"
No. Yes. Maybe. Not likely. No.
His eyes drifted away from hers, and he exhaled despondently. "Someday, Martha. Someday I'll tell you."
Someday I'll be able to open my heart again.
Okay, well, there it is. It's not my best work, but what the hell. One-shots are not my thing…my plots are too involved to cram into a few pages, and if I try to make a short plot, it ends up not being a plot at all. Sorry…please don't flame me too badly.