Summary: In an attempt to understand one another better, Leon and D go through a series of crazy tests of one another with certain topics. Both fluffy and serious in different situations. AU in later chapters. Leon/D. Rated for possible violence and cursing. Shonen Ai!
Len: Yet another crazy yoai fangirl thing. Rea's supposed to be a lesbian....
Rea: I support gays. He doesn't like to admit my writing's better than his. And we don't edit each other summaries so I guess this will have to do. Len's an asshole. Please enjoy my story!
Len: Lies, bitch.
Rea: And I guess these beginnings should be rated for some sort of cursing level...D doesn't curse. I'll try to keep Leon's to a minimum. Not that kids should even know about this series in my opinion...
Chapter One: Devious Plans
"My Dear Detective...Usually I would say 'what a pleasant surprise' to such a thing, but really I can't consider your visits much of a surprise anymore." D was dressed in a beauful robe with very random decorations in the top and sides spit right up to the top of his legs. He was, of course, wearing black pants underneath. He began to mix another tea without looking at Leon. "And it's tea time."
"Imagine that." T-Chan added to Leon's animal-def ears.
Leon smirked. "What, you think I'll leave Chris here alone for long?"
"Only every day." T-Chan growled, and Chris gave him a short scowl as he hugged Leon.
"Of course not." D set the tea on the table in front of Leon. "Only for most of the day, while regularly checking in on him."
"Hey, Chris...why don't you go play with the animals? I've got something to talk to D about." Chris gave Leon a disappointed look, but obeyed. T-Chan followed him out to go find Pon-Chan.
Without further ado, and without, of course, noticing that the rest of the animals could all still hear him, Leon jumped into the conversation. "So, D...When do I get that kiss."
D closed his eyes and sighed. "I thought you were acting strange, Detective. Haven't we talked about this?" He sat down and took a small drink of his tea.
Leon placed a box on the table.
D smiled at it and began to break the seels to get it open. "Oh, Detective! I can't believe you brought me tiramisu!" he exclaimed.
Leon smiled back as D served. Of course by now he knew just how to get D to be a bit more coopertive. "So...when I asked you last time you didn't say much."
"Asked me...?" D uncharacteristically feigned cluelessness until Leon raised his eyebrow. "I said all I needed to say about the subject, My Dear Detective."
Leon sighed. "You said you wanted to wait. That's not much to go on, D. And would you just call me Leon?" Some of the animals snickered. Leon looked around at the sudden noise, but the implication seemed to go over his head. "I didn't realize when you said you'd be my 'boyfriend' that I'd be getting myself into the kind of no-touchy based relationship I'm in now." he finished.
D hadn't moved even to eat the cake until Leon was done, but now he took his first bite, savored it completely, swallowed, and stared at Leon a while before answering. "It isn't that I don't want you to even touch me. And if you want to touch me, you should at least let me call you 'Dear.'"
"Great!" Leon leaned forward, the name comment going right past him. More animals snickered this time and Leon looked around again.
D didn't seem to notice. "It is, however, that I want you to wait first. We have been on the same basis for years, Detective. Casual...even enemy-like. I don't see you working towards a greater understanding with me. There's no reason to rush into the physical while leaving the emotional behind."
"Ha. Now I get it." Leon replied. "Tired of superficial talk, Count?"
"Perhaps you should start calling me D as well, Detective." D suggested with a smile.
Leon glared. "I get it, alright. Can we stick to the other thing."
"I'm afraid if you want a kiss, you'll have to try a bit harder." D almost sipped, but ended up pausing to add "And that is my final word on the matter." before taking his sip.
"Well, it ain't mine." Leon said with a devious smerk. D gave him a hard look. "Just listen. I'm willing...lets start with something less than deep and more than shallow and work our way up."
D gave it some consideration. "I'm listening."
"Well...we'll start with something like...dancing. Yah. Music..." Leon urged.
"Best date." D suggested.
"Good one." Leon said. "Then we move to like...secrets...ya know."
D smiled. "Which ones?"
"One's we're comfortable with..." Leon clarified reluctantly.
"You seem to be forgetting pets and flowers." D hinted.
"Right. Pets and flowers before secrets." Leon said. "That was a given."
D didn't call his lie. "A good idea."
"Then to sex."
This declaration was followed by a rather stange uproar of all sorts of animal noises which sounded very much like laughing to D, and very much like it was planned to Leon. A faint blush colored D's face and he seemed almost pleased for a minute.
"What's wrong with these guys today?" Leon asked in a very pissed-off voice.
"I believe you shocked them." D said, finding his own voice. "As you did me."
Leon shrugged. "It's natural. I don't mean that we do it right after we talk about all this stuff!" Leon protested as D threatened to interrupt. "We talk about it, though. And if you're satisfied...I get my kiss." Leon leaned back on the couch, pleased with himself.
"Excuse me." D made to leave.
Leon stood too. "Oh, come on, D! Weren't you the one talking about 'adult sexual education' the other day?"
"Please, Detective. I will be right back." D left the room for a few minutes. When he returned, he was holding a pen and a thick paper. "Please sign this."
"Is this for a pet?" Leon looked skeptical.
"As a shop owner, I am accustomed to doing sales by contract." D explained. "You're welcome to read it. In fact, I would feel more comfortable if you did."
Leon took the document and the pen and began to read, mumbling "How is this a sale...?" to himself.
Count D's Pet Shop
I hereby agree to the following:
That I will discuss the following topics with my partner within a few weeks of this document's signing. The topics being Dancing, Best Date, Music, Pets, Flowers, Secrets, Sex. That I will wholly dedicate myself to understanding my partner.
That I will take turns day by day discussing the topic- so that two days each topic are needed- one day for each of us.
That I will not force my partner to kiss me, bother him, or in some other way try to convince my partner to kiss me, or mention a kiss to my partner until the day after this contract comes to an end, which will be the day after the last topic has been discussed by both parties of this contract.
Signature:
Signature:
"What?" Leon asked.
"I was quite clear of the terms."
"Well, yah, but why the terms?" Leon asked.
D didn't answer. "Please pay special attention to clause 3..."
"I get it! You don't want me to ask if I'm going to get one at the end during the process."
"Please sign."
"This is ridiculous, D!"
"I can only do this if you sign, My Darling Detective." D was unshakable.
Leon sighed, clicked the pen out and signed. "This pen looks expensive." he said, in attempt to change the subject.
"The contract begins immediately." D said, signing the document in beautiful curves under Leon's messy scrawl. "I suggest you begin looking into what you want to tell me about dancing and where you will take me in order to...show and tell...I suppose."
"Oh, I know just the place, D." Leon said, getting up from the chair. "But be ready, alright?"
"Very well. I'll post a notice that the shop will be closed...tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow night." Leon said. "It's a date."
D smiled a mysterious smile as Leon turned to leave. "I hope, Detective, that you took special care to read the notice at the bottom of the contract. Many customers do ignore it."
"Oh, The one that says 'if the customer violates this contract in any way, Count D's Pet Shop can not be held responsible for any consequences that might occur...' Yah, I know, Count. I'm going to say bye to Chris." Leon left mumbling about what exactly happened to those customers who did violate the contract and how the hell he got into this relationship with a suspisious shopkeeper he suspected of foul play.
D sighed. "Yes, Detective. Please...don't get lost back there."
Rea: I hope you enjoyed! Please review! Len really does appreciate it. He just doesn't say it in writing!
Len: As usual, Rea checks the reviews. I did very little on chapter one, so I shouldn't care much anyways.
Rea: He's lying. Look at his Dexter one and you'll see he loves reviews! Oh, and especially review if you ever see anything out of character. Thanks!