Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. All flames will be given to Russia, you don't want to know what he does with them. And yes, despite no recent posts, I am still alive.

You only know what I want you to I know everything you don't want me to.

Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine You think your dreams are the same as mine

Eduard had never loved Russia, this thought was in his mind as he carefully navigated the dark house. He was going to escape tonight. He knew it. He couldn't live this way. The other baltics were on their own. He wasn't letting the Soviet State force communism onto his country any longer..

Ooh, I don't love you but I always will Ooh, I don't love you but I always will I don't love you but I always will I always will

A step on the floor behind him made the Estonian start. It was heavy, which meant it couldn't be Latvia or Lithuania, or even Belarus. That left Ukraine and... Russia. Please be Ukraine. Please. Estonia pleaded silently. He slowly pivoted on the ball of his foot. His silent prayer went unanswered.

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back.

"Ivan" He said quietly.He was answered by a cheery smile.

"Comrade. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"I was..." He trailed off. For once, Eduard had no smart answer, no clever escape. His bad luck had finally caught up to him.

"You were leaving, weren't you?"

"Yes."

The less I give, the more I get back.

Suddenly, without warning, The ashe-blond man slammed the smaller into the wall adjacent to them both.

"Why? I have been very careful to keep your borders safe, keep a roof over your head."

"My people are dying. So, so many deaths, Ivan! Why does it have to be this way?"

"I can stop it for you. I can stop it all."

Ooh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise I don't have a choice but I still choose you

"H-How?"
"Become one with me, Eduard." His heart was pounding. His hands were trembling. All those years of Toris' treatment by Russia... It was really Estonia who he'd wanted? Silently, gently, Eduard leaned forward and met Ivan's lips. The taste was one that Estonia could only describe as being "pure winter". He slowly realized that he wasn't fighting. He was allowing this moment to happen.

Ooh, I don't love you but I always will Ooh, I don't love you but I always will I don't love you but I always will Ooh, I don't love you but I always will

He had never gone this far. Being a satellite state was a far cry from actually becoming part of Russia.

I don't love you but I always will I don't love you but I always will I don't love you but I always will I always will, I always will, I always will I always will, I always will

. No matter what happened, this was what he had chosen. Estonia had never loved Russia. But he always would.