Stand By You by SessandInubros
A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the wait, life has kept me busy and every chance I got to update I'd get writer's block but I've been writing the past 3 days and am so excited to share this with you! I got inspired by one of the episodes in season 11 called the Vessel (so spoilers to those that haven't seen it) and also by the Rachel Platten's Stand By You (obsessed with this song don't even get me started). Anywho, hope you guys enjoy it! :D
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Supernatural and anything involving and yada yada yada...XD
"Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven…"
You feel the jack burn only slightly going down your throat as you slam your finished drink on the table. You look up from the book you're currently reading, glancing over at the clock. It read 7:18, meaning only 28 minutes have passed since your almighty, angel boyfriend, Castiel, teleported Dean back to the year 1944 in order to retrieve the hand of God, which supposedly has enough power to help get rid of your biggest threat right now: Amara. While Dean was off playing war hero, the rest of you were stuck in the bunker researching and trying to figure out a way to reteleport him back since Cas and his powers were warded off by the ship. You were definitely shocked to say the least that he willingly agreed to go through with this plan despite of all the risks, complications, and the consequences it could potentially have on not only the space time continuum, but all of humanity as well. It honestly wasn't like him to disregard stuff like this, even if it was for the greater good and now that you're thinking about it, he's been acting strangely ever since coming back from the cage with Sam and Dean; I mean, sure it affected all of you, it was Lucifer after all but you didn't think it was bad enough to the point where it got through to him.
This is the first time you've gotten to see him in a long while which was very unusual for you because you both were practically inseparable from one another. Normally he's so sensitive and caring of those around him and is always right there when you need him, but lately he's been pretty permissive and distant. He's stopped sending you souvenirs from all his travels, he hasn't spent the night at the bunker in weeks, and worst of all you haven't gotten to go to your spot in what feels like ages. Every day regardless of any thing or reason, Castiel would pick you up and take you to your spot. When he first told you about it and how nothing would stop him or you from going, you thought it was too good to be true, but he proved you wrong each and every time and always found a way to make it happen just for you. When you got there, you'd just sit and talk about absolutely anything and everything. From cases and research you were working on with Sam and Dean to what he's seen in his travels, even new shows to watch together on netflix, but what you loved most of all is when he'd sing to you. It was always the same song but it just meant so much to you each time he sang it: it made you feel safe, wanted, and most importantly happy, which is something you hadn't felt in a long time since becoming a hunter until the moment he came into your life.
"Hands, put your empty hands in mine and scars, show me all the scars you hide and hey, if your wings are broken, please take mine so yours can open, too cause I'm gonna stand by you…"
From the way he sang each note, to how he emphasized every word, to how he looked at you and held your hands in his, you honestly felt unworthy to be near his angelic presence. There's nothing else quite like it or anyone that could make you feel the way he does which is why this is hurting you so much right now but you were suddenly yanked out of your day dreaming.
"You're not strong enough Cas, you could get hurt," Sam stated worriedly.
"My strength may surprise you," the angel countered back.
"It doesn't matter," Sam argued, "It's too dangerous and we can't afford to take the risk!"
"What's going on," you asked while assessing the situation at hand.
"Cas wants to perform an ancient spell to get Dean back," Sam argued, "But it involves using powers that are beyond his control and we honestly have no idea what could happen!"
"What?!"
"I don't understand what the big deal is Y/N," Cas states matter of factly, "This can help us bring Dean back and possibly get rid of Amara."
"But at what cost?! Your grace or your life?! It's not worth it," you voice your concern.
"That's not up for you to decide Y/N," Cas barks at her, "This is my choice and could be our only shot at getting rid of the Darkness so how about you make yourself useful and start thinking with your head instead of your heart," you couldn't help but lose it as you ran to your room and collapsed on your bed, letting everything out.
"Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes and hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I…"
You heard a knock on your door.
"Y/N," you looked up from your pillow towards the door, "Y/N it's me. Open the door," Cas paused before begging, "Please," you get up and let him. He pulls you into his arms in a loving embrace.
"And, love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine til yours can open, too cause I'm gonna stand by you. Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through. Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you; love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you…"
"I'm so sorry Y/N," he apologized, "I never meant for it to come out like that."
"It's okay," you smiled as you held him tighter, "You're here and that's all that matters."
"Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed and the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating and love if your wings are broken, we can brave through those emotions too cause I'm gonna stand by you…"
"I've missed you so Y/N," he confessed as his fingers start running through your hair.
"I've missed you too Cas," you sighed deeply as you relish in the fact that he's here now.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was gone," he admitted while slowly moving his hands to rest on your hips.
"Really," you ask.
"More than anything," he gazes lovingly at you. No you weren't going to let yourself get lost in those ocean blue eyes and pretend like none of this happened. You needed to talk about this.
"Do you have any idea how worried sick I've been about you," you start.
"Y/N…"
"No contact of any kind," you interrupt him, "Cas I've felt so vulnerable or scared in my entire life, I thought I lost you," you felt your eyes start to water. Don't you dare cry. Not now, not like this. You tried to turn away from him but he grabbed you by your chin, tilting up towards him, and started wiping your tears with his thumb.
"Well I'm here now and am not going anywhere," Cas promised as he slammed his lips on yours. You sighed happily, melting into the kiss and responded back almost immediately as he slams you up against the wall. You gasped as you felt his hardened member pressed against your inner thigh. You feel your face start to flush as you revel in the fact that he's so close to you. You've never been this intimate with each other before so it's definitely a rush to say the least. You were a virgin for christ's sake and it's not like you haven't thought about it with him before but Cas didn't want to hurt you or pressure you until you were absolutely ready. He showered your neck with kisses and kneeded your breasts in his hands. You couldn't help but let a moan escape from your lips as you let the lord do his work. He stopped what he was doing and stared at you, his eyes hooded with lust.
"Keep that up and we won't be able to make it to the bed," he growled and your eyes widened at his words. Castiel never talked to you like this. He was always so proper and a complete gentlemen, as if you were a fragile flower which of course you aren't but you couldn't stop yourself as you were getting lost in the heat of the moment.
"Everything alright angel face," he asked while nibbling on your earlobe. Angel Face? He was never one for pet names. There was definitely something up…
"Lucifer…"
"Oh truth; I guess, truth is what you believe in and faith, I think faith is having a reason…"
"In the flesh," he whispered in your ear as you quickly pushed him off you and booked it out of your room.
"Sam! Dean," you scream relieved to see the both of them.
"Y/N is everything okay," Sam questioned.
"What's going on," Dean interrogated as Cas comes storming in.
"Guys, that's not Cas," you yelled as the brothers looked over towards him in disbelief as he takes in a breath.
"Cat's out," Castiel interrupted as he throws Dean over the table hitting his head on the wall.
"Dean," you and Sam cry out.
Castiel pretends like he's boxing and grins maliciously, "This whole deep cover thing, it just wasn't terribly well thought out. Donning this Cas mask: this grim face of angelic constipation, it's just ugh."
So many questions were going through your mind right now trying to figure out as to what, how, or why this happened as he started circling around all of you, "I thought you were insufferable as mortal enemies, but working with you? That's the soul crusher," he spat as Dean tried to break free before Cas slammed him back against the wall while grabbing the hand of god, "And don't even get me started on you sweet cheeks," he pointed at you, "Y/N this, Y/N that," he mocked, "If it were up to me I would've snapped your neck ages ago just like I did with that old, ginger witch." Rowena? He killed Rowena? She may have been your enemy but she didn't deserve to die by Lucifer's hands. You couldn't help but be completely and utterly terrified; I mean, the mere sight and presence of him alone had you trembling in your boots not only because it's the devil, but he's currently sporting your boyfriend's meat suit.
Sam winces as he stabs his hand with a blade. Blood trickles down his wrist, "Sam what in the damn hell are you doing," you hiss under your breath before he immediately shushes and begins drawing something on the wall, "Cover me," Sam mouths as he continues drawing while trying to be unnoticed by Casifer.
"Why the faces," Cas puzzled, "We should be cheering. We have a common enemy and with this," Cas unwraps the cloth covering the hand of god, "She will be no problem; I mean, I will have killed you all by then; but still, come on," he tries reasoning as he grips the sacred item in his palm preparing for total domination
"No," you whisper as you all await in anticipation for what may be the end of everything.
"And I know now, love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine 'til yours can open, too cause I'm gonna stand by you…"
It's kicked," Casifer growled in frustration while the rest of you sigh in relief. Kicked? There's no freaking way an item that possesses the powers of god himself could be fried. You looked over towards Dean who was sporting a shit eater's grin.
"Well who'd of thought the hand of god would turn out to be a one hitter," Dean joked as Casifer slams the now worthless item on the table while letting the cloth fall on the floor as he marched over to Dean getting ready to make his kill until…
"No," you yelled while attempting to grab a hold of him and trap him in place but he instantly flips you over slamming you on the ground and grabs you by your neck lifting you up in the air.
"Y/N," the boys cry out.
"Did you really think that was going to work on me? How cute. Excuse my language but I'm the devil for christ's sake, and just like the big man, I know all," Casifer teased, "It's always you three ya know? Saving people, hunting things, the family business which sounds great in theory but is actually kind of a mess in practice; I mean, just ask all those people you've saved: oh wait," he grinned spitefully while you and Dean squirmed in his grasp as Sam continued drawing, "Well, I would just like to say that I'm getting a little fed up with you guys always crashing my parties. First the apocalypse, then trapping me in that cage, and now this?!
"Castiel," you begged, "Stop, please…"
"And to think your little guardian angel chose this. He wanted to make with a deal with me, he wanted to be my new vessel, and now he knows that with my help, not yours, we can get rid of the Darkness," he smirked.
"No…"
"He's gone now just accept it," Casifer despitefully assured, "He dug his own grave and now he's laying in it like the worthless, expendable, scum of an angel he really is-"
You kick him square in the face breaking his jaw. He pauses for a moment and snaps his jaw back into place before he starts to choke you, "Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end," he sang. Singing…That's it!
"I'll be your eyes til yours can shine and I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite and when you can't rise; well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees cause I…"
"I-I'm gonna stand b-by you," you struggle to get out the notes but you noticed him tense up so you keep going, "Even if we're breaking d-down, we can find a way to break through."
Holy shit it's working! You can feel him loosening his grip around your neck, "Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you," he releases you and Dean from his grasp as you both fall to floor. You slowly try to get up but wince in pain and just as your about to fall back down he catches you!
He's holding you in his arms while you grab a hold his hands and gaze into his eyes, "Love you're not alone," you serenaded and the brothers couldn't help but watch marveling at the fact that your singing was breaking through to him.
"Y/N," Castiel called out to you.
"Castiel," you couldn't stop the tears from falling as you wrapped your arms around his neck embracing him tightly.
"Y/N," he barely choked out before dropping you on the ground gripping his temples and wincing in pain.
"Don't you let him win Castiel," you encourage him, "You're stronger than him! You can fight this!"
"Y/N…"
"You can do this. I believe in you," you continue encouraging.
"H-he's too powerful! I can't c-control him much longer," Castiel warned.
"Well I'm not going to let myself lose you. Not again," you declare as you tried to grab him and pull him into your arms but he pushed you away.
"It's too late," he yields.
"It's never too late," you protest as you hold him in your arms, "We can save you! We can help you get through this! Just please, for the love of god Castiel, don't do this! I can't live my life without you!" He presses his lips against yours passionately.
You kiss back trying to make it last forever but he pulls away, "I love you Y/N," he professes.
"I love you too Cas," you profess back, "Please don't go."
"It's too late," Casifer smirks as he pulls out his angel blade getting ready to stab you but Sam finishes drawing, slamming his hand on the now finished sigal just as the blade barely grazes your neck and Casifer screams before disappearing in thin air. Dean and Sam exhaled, shocked and relieved that you all escaped with your lives while you just stood there letting it all sink in.
"I told him I was gonna stand by him," you whispered.
"Y/N…"
"God damn it," the boys winced as you screamed grabbing a nearby vase and chucked it against the wall, letting all the shattered pieces scatter across the floor. You stared at it for a long time before you eventually collapsed down on the floor. You couldn't hold back any longer and just let yourself fall apart at the seams. The boys immediately rushed over to comfort you as you broke down in front them. They've never seen you sob and pour your heart out in front of them before which really made it hurt them so much more. Some time passed and Dean picked up your unconscious body, carried you to your room, and tucked you into bed before meeting Sam out on the docks behind the bunker.
"So what do we do," Sam asked turning to his brother hoping for some helpful advice, "Cas is mia and…"
"What else," Dean scoffed, "We hunt Lucifer, trap the bastard, and save Cas."
"Okay but what about Y/N? I've never seen H/H so vulnerable before," Sam looked down.
"Yea I know," Dean sighed dejectedly, "There's not a whole lot we can do for Y/N right now. It's H/H battle to fight and it's just gonna take some time."
"And you think Y/N is gonna be on board with this little plan," Sam asked.
"Hell yes I am," you walked towards them with your blanket wrapped around you.
"Y/N," Sam exclaimed.
"I told you to stay in bed," Dean hollered.
"And I told you to shut your piehole," you rebuttled, "But I guess not everybody listens."
"Look the point is you're mentally and physically exhausted and-"
"It can wait," you interrupted.
"Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven…"
"Why's that," Sam asked obviously amused.
"Because I'm not going back on my word."
"Yeah, I'm gonna stand by you…"
A/N: So...what did you guys think?!
Sam: Wow that was rough...
Dean: A little too chick flickish for my liking...
Charlie: A little too chick flickish, I likey. ;P
Chuck: It's better than anything I've ever written! :3
A/N: Aw shucks guys, you da best! :)
Cas: Don't I get a say in this?
A/N: Not at the moment since you're possessed by Satan and all. :P
Cas: Oh right. ;P
A/N: Well that's all the time we have right now! Please favorite, review, or follow me here, or on tumblr!
Dean: It's cause she has nothing better to do with her life than fantasize about us!
A/N: Bitch.
Dean: Jerk.
Cas: *starts playing the Devil Went Down to George on the fiddle*
A/N: Welp I can't complain about this, catch ya on the flip side! :D