Scarves
WARNING: This is yaoi, or shonen-ai, which means it involves two MEN in a homosexual relationship. If you can't handle that, then stop reading.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I do own a really cool hitai-ate (forehead protector) from Hot Topic (I don't own Hot Topic either).
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Team Seven relaxed at Ichiraku's ramen stand after a long day of training. Naruto was on his twelfth bowl of ramen and Sasuke was sitting on a stool, trying to ignore Sakura, who was trying to catch his attention by sipping from her bowl suggestively.
"God, Sakura, will you stop that?" he finally yelled, after she made a small slurping noise and licked her lips obnoxiously.
The pink-haired kunoichi smiled slightly, glad at finally capturing Sasuke's attention. "Whatever you say, Sasuke-kun," she said sweetly.
Naruto slurped his ramen. "Another bowl, old man!" he shouted. "Pork ramen this time!"
With a sudden poof of smoke, their sensei, Kakashi, appeared. He gave them his trademark greeting: a little wave and a spoken "Yo."
"Hi Kakashi-sensei!" yelled Naruto.
"You're wearing a different scarf, aren't you?" asked Sakura.
"Why yes, I am," replied the white-haired jounin, fingering the bright orange cloth with the Icha Icha logo printed on it.
"Kakashi-sensei," whined Naruto. "Why do you like scarves so much? You promised you would tell us!"
"I did, didn't I?"
His team looked up at him expectantly - even Sasuke turned to watch him.
"Well, I wrote out a list of my top five reasons."
"Where is it, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura, itching to know.
"Oh… I think I lost it…" replied Kakashi, smiling behind his mask.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" cried Naruto and Sakura in unison. Sasuke expressed his disgust by turning back to his cooling bowl of ramen.
His eye curved up into its trademark upside-down "U" shape as he looked at his indignant team. "Just kidding!" He produced a small piece of white paper from his vest pocket and waved it in their faces.
"Give it to us!" yelled Naruto, jumping up and grabbing for it.
"Here," sighed Kakashi, handing him the slip of paper. "Although I still don't see what's the big deal."
His team ignored him, pouring over the small slip of paper as though their lives depended on it. Maybe this will give us insight into the mysterious man who is our sensei, thought Sakura as she worked to decipher her teacher's cramped script.
Kakashi sighed again when he realized no one was paying attention to him. Realizing it would be no use to stay, he performed a sequence of seals and disappeared in a poof of white smoke.
His team failed to notice his disappearance, as Sakura had finally managed to decode his chicken-scratches and was now reading the paper aloud:
"Why I Like Scarves: My Top Five Reasons
by: Hatake Kakashi
1. I can use them to seduce my favorite chuunin.
2. My favorite chuunin can seduce me with them.
3. I can use them to tie my aforementioned chuunin to people (namely myself), places (my bedroom, the billboard for the latest Icha Icha movie - that was fun!), and/or things (my bed).
4. My favorite chuunin can use them to tie me to the previously mentioned items (or the tree outside his house - that was not fun!).
5. And… oh yeah, they keep me warm."
She finished reading, shocked.
Naruto laughed nervously. "Kakashi-sensei has a kinky sex life, doesn't he?"
"Naruto!" shouted Sakura, shocked. She bopped him on the head to make him shut up.
Sasuke just sat there, shocked, a slight blush heating up his pale cheeks. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew who Kakashi's chuunin was… and he wasn't sure he liked it. He envisioned his former pony-tailed teacher with his silver-haired sensei. They're kind of a cute couple though…
"Owwww! Sakura-chan! You didn't have to do that!" whined Naruto, rubbing the large bump on his head.
"I wonder who Kakashi's 'favorite chuunin' is…" mused Sakura, ignoring Naruto's whining.
Sasuke just sat there, still in shock. I can't believe he does that to Iruka-sensei… and that Iruka-sensei lets him! That's disgusting He could feel his face heating up more as he imagined what kind of strange things they would do to each other…
Meanwhile, at the Academy
"Iruka-senseeeiii…" called a syrupy voice next to his ear. Iruka jumped about a mile in the air as a bright orange fuzzy scarf settled around him, pinning him to his chair.
"Geez, Kashi! Don't scare me like that!" He gradually regained his breath and calmed down. "Why are you here, anyway? Don't you have students to train?"
"Finished early." whispered Kakashi from behind him. "They made me tell them why I like scarves so much." He tightened the cloth around Iruka, making sure his 'prey' was secure.
"Oh Kami…" Iruka said, disgusted. He buried his head in his hands, imagining humiliation at the hands of Team Seven. "What did you tell them?"
"I gave them a list," the jounin replied, nibbling Iruka's ear. "Top Five Reasons Hatake Kakashi Has a Fetish for Scarves, or something like that… I mentioned that one time I tied you to the Icha Icha billboard."
Oh Lord… thought Iruka. "Did you mention my name?" he asked edgily.
"No…" replied Kakashi, working his way down to Iruka's neck. "I just told them about my favorite chuunin…" His hands kneaded Iruka's shoulders, releasing built up tension. "They're probably commenting on what a kinky sex life I have right now."
Iruka shook his head at the antics of his lover. "You're mature." he snorted.
The End… or is it?
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A/N: I've had this idea for a while now. This story started out with just Kakashi's list, but then I decided to add a little Team Seven… with a clueless Naruto and a Sasuke who actually knows what's going on (he's just a genius that way). I also added a wee bit of fluff but not too much - I'm not really good at writing that kind of stuff… so… Read and review, please! Sayonara!
Quick Question: I've been thinking of doing a series of Hinata-centric drabbles, one for each day of spring (March through May). How often do you think I should update (once a day, once a week) and how should they be organized (a chapter per drabble, a chapter per week)? Also, should I do three separate collections, one for each month, or just lump them all together? Leave a review with your opinion, please!