Sam was finally asleep. He had been tossing and turning all night long, trying to get comfortable, and finally at around seven in the morning, when Dean lie moaning in bed, he had fallen asleep. So when his eyes suddenly opened to reveal the time to be 8:12 Sam was a little miffed. Not knowing what had woken him up, he turned in bed and closed his eyes, trying his damndest to go back to sleep, only to hear his brother groaning and sobbing in the bathroom.
Sam sat up in bed, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Jesus he was tired, his eyes were actually pulsating with the sheer intensity of his sleep deprivation, but Dean needed him, and everything else could wait.
He stood up, albeit a little unsteady at first, and made his way towards the bathroom only to hear his brother grunt in extreme pain, before the sound of vomit hitting the toilet bowl could be heard.
Sam slowly opened the bathroom door and all sleep was immediately forgotten in lue of helping his brother. Dean was sitting by the toilet in only a t-shit and his boxers, pale as a ghost and blood, dean's blood, was splattered all around him.
Dean, seeing that Sam had been woken up, decided being quiet was a moot point and clutched his stomach before crying out in pain, immediately puking blood into the toilet again, having most of it splattered back towards him and onto the floor.
Sam was at his side in an instant, holding his brother's face and checking for any injuries. Dean looked half dead, tears streaking down his cheeks, and blood pooling around him.
"Cas?" Sam whispered, not wanting to startle his brother. When there was no answer and Dean started clutching at his stomach again, Sam raised his voice.
"CAS?" The angel's name came out as more of a question, scared the angel wouldn't show, but his fears were unfounded as the very next moment, a whoosh signaled Castiel's arrival.
"Help him...PLEASE." Sam was begging, not taking his eyes off Dean, who had clutched his stomach again, and puked all over sam's favorite shirt, tainting it with blood.
Castiel looked crushed, as he moved closer to Dean and touched his fingers to the hunter's forehead and curing him of his ailments. Dean fell forward, into Sam's arms, and was out cold in an instant.
"Take him to bed, I will clean the mess." Sam nodded, stripping Dean of his shirt, only to notice more blood, unexplained blood, in-between Dean's legs. Sam shook off the feeling of dread, grabbed a washcloth, and started moving his brother towards an empty bed.
Once Dean had been situated in bed, Sam walked towards the little kitchenette and grabbed a bucket full of luke warm water and walked back towards Dean, who looked in pain, even now.
Dunking the washcloth into the water, Sam started washing off the blood that marred Dean's beautiful body.
Castiel stood looking at the blood marring the flood and toilet. Tears pricked his vessels eyes as he looked at where dean had been sitting, and noticed something Sam, thankfully, had not noticed. It looked like a blood clot, plopped uncaring on the ground, but if you looked closer, you could see what it actually was.
Castiel walked towards the object on the ground and kneeled, looking closely at the fragile...at the fragile...
Castiel outright cried now, tears streaming down his face, noticing the individual fingers and toes, the littlest of faces. It couldn't have been bigger that the length of one of Castiel's fingers, but it was his...his daughter.
He picked her up, so gently, it was almost heartbreaking, and placed her on a towel on the sink and looked at the rest of the bathroom. Grabbing another towel, he kneeled on all fours and began cleaning up the mess. It seemed to take forever, and he couldn't bring himself to do this much longer. Yes, he could clean Dean's blood with magic, but why would he do that to a part of his husband? A part of Dean, who meant the world to him.
Almost done, and his resolve cracked and he screamed, and tore down the shower curtain. That was not enough. He needed to get his anger out.
The wall was then punched in and the toilet broken, the shower torn to pieces. It wasn't fair. It was never fair to have a life cut so tragically short, but this life was his...this life should have been given the chance. This life...
He turned towards the sink and picked up his daughter, holding her close to his chest and sobbing, outright sobbing at the loss of his beautiful girl.
And that's the scene Sam walked in on. Cas holding a bloody looking towel to his chest and sobbing so intently, it made tears prick at Sam's eyes.
"Castiel?" Sam looked hesitant but determined to see what had Castiel so sad. Castiel had no more strength left as he felt Sam tugging at the towel holding his daughter. Cas allowed Sam to grab the towel and look at the contents, and heard the young hunter gasp and look up. "This...how?" His voice was trembling as he continued to look at the child that had died too soon.
"How what Sam?" Cas asked, looking so drained and tired. Sam had known about Cas and Dean's relationship, he had even been their "best man" in an impromptu wedding of sorts that had Dean babbling incoherently and Cas smiling with love and affection.
How this child had come to be was not the question, he knew Cas being an angel had everything to do with it, what he wanted to know was how this child had died.
"Do you know what caused...what..." Sam couldn't say it. Hunters or not, Dean had always wanted an out, always wanted a baby, a family. "I do not know I will figure it out." Sam nodded and watched Cas walk towards the still body of Dean.
Dean looked so peaceful, that Cas couldn't bring himself to wake the hunter, but he was not about to leave Dean either. This was not the time to leave.
Grabbing the blanket, he lay down next to Dean, and pulled the blanket over the two of them, before settling his hand on Dean's stomach and immediately he heard sobbing.
"Dean, this was not your doing." Cas reassured, pulling his husband closer to him, hushing him. "Cas?" Dean sounded so broken. "Sleep my angel, you need rest Dean." Dean Sobbed harder, tears falling down and a gasp of pure pain escaping his mouth. Cas continued to hold Dean until the hunter had exhausted himself and fallen to sleep.
Sam was holding the dead body of Dean's baby. Sam realized that Dean had had the most painful of miscarriages. Being a male had a lot to do with the intense rejection, but the immense bleeding and vomiting was probably because the baby wasn't all human.
He didn't know what to do with the body; he had no idea if Cas wanted to be the one to bury...
Sighing, he wrapped the baby up in the towel and placed her caringly next to Dean. Dean needed closure, and this might help. It killed Sam to see Dean open his eyes and look down at the life that was no longer, tears brimming at his face. Dean didn't care that Sam knew; they were going to be telling him soon anyway, no that's not what bothered him. His daughter's still face bothered him. Everything about this bothered him.
Dean wrapped his arms around the smallest baby on the planet, and cried anew. "Alana." He whispered and placed a small kiss on the baby's forehead. "I will miss you always." Sam finally broke at that, and tears fell from his eyes unchecked. He was close to crying with his brother when he caught himself. He would not allow his brother to stop mourning to take care of him, he was a big boy and he was going to be there for Dean.
Castiel held tightly to Dean and whispered loving words to him until the two of them were asleep, holding their baby close to them, until they had the nerve to bury her.
The next day, Dean was the first to wake up. He looked down at his daughter, so still and so tiny, and almost cried again, but he strengthened his resolve and sat up in bed, still holding his daughter. He placed the baby gently next to Castiel and went to find everything he would need to bury his...
he wouldn't say it. This baby might have been his daughter, but now it was a dead body, a body lifeless and cold and...
Dean cleared his throat and looked around the motel. Nothing he would want to use for the prettiest of angels to grace heavens doors. No he would need to buy everything he would need, and cost be damned, he was not settling.
Picking up his keys, and wallet, he left a note for Cas and Sam and walked out of the motel room.
Sam woke up and looked at the bed that Dean SHOULD have been on, but the hunter was gone and Castiel was sitting up in bed holding his daughter and a note. "What's it say?" Sam asked looking at the angel. "He has gone to buy the required items he wishes to place our daughter in for the burial." Sam nodded and stood from his bed. The bathroom was ruined so there was no point in trying to wash his face or to brush the disgust from his teeth, so he settled for grabbing his wallet and heading to the door. "I'm going to get breakfast, would you like anything?" Castiel shook his head and continued staring at the note in his hand. "I'll be back in 15."
And true to his word Sam walked in 15 minutes later with three cups of coffee and two bags of food. "I know you said you didn't want anything but I decided to get you something anyway." Castiel nodded. He hadn't moved since Sam had left.
Sam placed everything on the table and grabbed his coffee, removing the lid and taking a sip. "Cas, please put...come drink your coffee." Sam said, not wanting to touch on the baby subject just yet. "Alright Sam." Castiel placed his daughter gently on the bed and walked towards the unoccupied chair and taking a seat. He grabbed for his coffee and mechanically took a sip. He didn't need provisions like the brothers did, but the sipping of the coffee soothed him.
Halfway through their coffee, Dean walked through the door and took a seat at the table as though nothing had happened. "Everything we need is in the car." He said as way of explanation. Taking a sip of his coffee he looked up at Sam, who looked like he was bursting with questions. "Why..." Dean sighed. "We were going to tell you Sam. Why do you think I wasn't doing any of the hunting? I was being..." He stopped talking and took another sip, wanting to savor a flavor he hadn't had in three months.
"I have told you already Dean, this was not your doing." Dean nodded, but he didn't believe a single word of that sentence. Whose fault would it be if not his?
"Tell me about it?" Dean shook his head. Who cared how it happened, what reaction he had to it, or anything that honestly at this point didn't matter, he just wanted to bury his daughter and forget this morning had ever happened.
Castiel placed a calming hand on Dean's shoulder and waited for the outburst, it never came. Dean was silent, drinking his coffee like nothing had ever happened, like his life hadn't just changed dramatically.
Taking a bag of food, Dean reached in for a breakfast sandwich, opened it up and took a huge bite, wanting to keep his mouth busy. He wasn't even hungry really...he just wanted to keep busy.
They all ate in relative silence until Sam finally sighed and stood to dispose of the garbage they had accumulated. Dean went to the car, Castiel not far behind, and grabbed everything he had bought and set it up on his bed, making sure not to harm his little angel's body.
They placed her in the make shift coffin with blankets and stuffed animals and finally Dean was ready to put her in the car and take her to her grave site...
They buried her in an empty field of flowers. She would be the only occupant there, but the field was so beautiful...so graceful, just like Dean's daughter. Sam said nothing...I mean what could he say to Dean and Castiel when so obviously something horrible had happened to the two of them. He kept his mouth shut even when Dean refused to move from the grave site. He watched as Castiel coaxed him away and a set of keys were thrown towards him. The moment he caught the keys to the Impala, Dean and Cas had vanished.
Dean opened his eyes and noticed where they were, the motel room they had vacated not too long ago. "Talk to me Dean." It was a command and Dean was not about to disobey, he knew how angry Cas could get and at this moment, he had no strength to fight it. "I should have called you...when..." Cas nodded. "You should have, yes, but this is still not your doing."
"You have so much going up in heaven since we stopped the apocalypse...i didn't wanna be a bother cause of what i figured was just a case...of indi-gistion...I-I didn't-didn't-" Dean couldn't talk anymore. Castiel held him close and kissed Dean's forehead. "It was not your fault...Dean I have never blamed you for it."
"You should. If I had called you..."
"She would still be dead Dean." Castiel interrupted him and Dean looked shocked.
"What?" Dean was officially confused.
"Someone hurt her intentionally Dean. She would have thrived within your body and been born into this world had she not been harmed intentionally. She was an Angel child, and only..." realization finally dawned on Dean. An angel had hurt his daughter. One of Castiel's brothers had wanted Castiel to hurt and had gone after Alana, who wasn't even born yet.
Dean's eyes showed hatred and pure unadulterated vicious anger. Dean tilted his head up and screamed as loudly as he could. In a fit of rage he started packing. Once Sam was back, they were leaving this place and they were hunting down the son of a bitch who had killed his daughter.