Chapter 1 - An Introduction

My name is Isobel Louise Green. I'm 26 years old, I live in Greenwich, I work as a supervising manager in my local supermarket, I'm 5ft 6in, have green eyes and long, straight, dark brown hair. My hobbies include talking, cooking and reading classic literature, and the occasional celebrity biography. This is really starting to sound like a profile for a dating website.

Let's start again. There was a loud bang outside. The sky was suddenly glowing in a pumpkin-orange colour and there were large cracks on the road and pavement. I could hear the screams of the people outside, they were terrified with no idea of what to do. All I could see from my window was havoc, chaos and potentially permanent destruction. What these people need is someone to guide them out of this apocalypse and back to a civilised and safe new world. My name is I.L. Green and I am the saviour of planet Earth...

Just kidding!

Let's start again for the last time – I promise not to include any fictitious apocalyptic events and their effects from now on. Imagine if that you do a job that you hate and there is no possible way to leave it without becoming homeless, your fiance has recently left you for your male best friend, and your forgetful, overly trusting, gambling mother has announced that she is taking her latest internet romance to the next level; i.e. moving to the country that the said romantic interest lives in. To make matters even worst, one of your closest friends who you can talk to about everything just suddenly disappears. Imagine that happening in the space of two weeks. Then, you have my life. My name is Isobel Louise Green and I despise my life.

I've just realised that, whilst I seem to have just mentioned everything that is wrong with my life, I didn't really... I didn't go in to any details at least. In all honesty, that was the first time that I've really listed everything that's bad about my life. Don't get me wrong, there have been some great times and I've been really happy, but I've always felt dissatisfied. And now, for the first time, I have acknowledged everything that has made me feel this way. Perhaps further details of my misfortune will take me from simply acknowledging my misery, to taking it in my stride and attempting to improve my life.

Let's start with my job; my job consists of reminding the same people everyday that they need to wear their name badge, they can't go out for a fag break whenever they feel like it, and that working hard is beneficial and can pay off. Who am I kidding? I started off exactly the same as these people – I might earn more money and not have to stack shelves anymore, but my job is tiring, repetitive and dull. Apart from when the man claiming to be Jesus Reincarnated comes in and tries to convince us to give him things for free; so that we are guarenteed a place in heaven – seeing the security guards tackle him to the ground never gets boring.

As for my fiance leaving me for my male "best friend"; I think that I should have realised when he was more into fashion and interior design than me, and often had to go to the dentist at the exact same time and date as my male former friend. Then again, I should have also been suspicious that he was going to the dentist more than once in a day on some occasions. To be honest, I feel more hurt by Nik's (the former friend) betrayal than Joe's (my former fiance) – we'd known each other since we were eight years old. Its amazing how for some people, friendship doesn't seem to matter anymore when you find someone who finds you just as attractive as you find them. Do I sound bitter at all? That's probably because I am.

My mother: my dear, naive, vulnerable, clueless, gambling kleptomaniac of a mother who has a new internet 'soul mate' every other week has decided that her latest fancy, a man named Juan who lives in Barcelona, is the one. My mother has more men interested in her than I do... wow. My father died when I was three years old and I don't have any brothers or sisters, so as disfunctional and ridiculous as my mother is, I don't have anyone else...

Except for Amanda Price! My fellow Jane Austen adorer – we met at a Jane Austen role play convention (I was Marianne Dashwood, she was Elizabeth Bennet) and she seemed to be the only one there who solely appreciated the books for how well they are written and the stories that Austen came up with, as opposed to the majority of women who were in attendence who sit at home with the pause button on Colin Firth in clinging trousers. But lately there has been absolutely no contact from her – not a phone call, e-mail, text containing a quote from a Jane Austen novel, or even a game request on Facebook.

Maybe I should just accept that I'm destined to be a lonely and bitter spinster.

So basically, I'm all alone with nothing good going for me. At least I have 'Sense & Sensibility' to escape into! Everything about the world presented on those pages by Austen is so beautiful and I can escape for just a few hours. But as soon as I close the book, I come back to reality with a thump. And it hurts every single time.

I like all of Austen's books, love them in fact, but there's just something about 'Sense & Sensibility' that draws me in – I can't put it down, and I can read it over and over again, and fall more in love with it even more each time that I finish it. For those of you who aren't familiar with the book, (I really recommend it – but of course, I am biased!) Sense and Sensibility focuses on the Dashwood family, but primarily the two eldest daughters and their romantic adventures. The title refers to the sisters – Elinor, the eldest sister, is all about properness, sense and following your head over your heart. Marianne, on the other hand, romanticises most aspects of life – she believes in ignoring expectations, embracing life and following your heart's desires.

Sense & Sensibility is about happiness and true love overcoming whatever is thrown in its path – problems caused by misunderstandings are solved eventually and then the lead characters are happy for all eternity. Elinor and Edward, Marianne and Colonel Brandon... I want that kind of love – a love that is so overwhelming that you feel that you can't breathe without knowing where that person is, or when you will get to see them again.

Perhaps my frequent readership of Jane Austen's novels has influenced my expectations. Every novel, although each has a unique and beautiful love story, all have a wonderful ending. True love conquers all obstacles and the reader is always certain that they will be happy for all eternity.

When I think about the men I have met in my life, and compare them to the men on the pages of Austen's novels, I realise that I've been influence in what I want and expect from a potential boyfriend or husband. We seem to live in a time without manners, or courtesy. Gentlemen are scarce in real life, and I am yet to meet one. To quote Marianne Dashwood, "the more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love."