Memories
'Tell me what do you see?' Her voice flits through his mind asking him to describe what he is seeing as the memories come flooding in a rush. He manages to hold onto one. It feels old, not the oldest… but close enough.
Logan looks around and notices his small body and tiny hands. His childhood? It feels as though it was so long ago. But before he can determine the era, he notices another boy in the room. He is blonde and slightly older looking. He is sharpening his fingernails to points with a small knife. Logan can feel the remnants of a burning fever in his body and his limbs ache, especially his hands and arms. He wonders if he'll die from the pain. He vaguely recalls hearing about how children could succumb to an illness very quickly, but nothing about death by pain.
"Is he going to die?" The blonde boy asks somewhat coldly of the tall man with dark brown hair as he enters the bedroom and approaches Logan lying on the bed.
"I don't think so. Jimmy's fever broke earlier, so the worst part is over, but we're not out of the woods yet." The man replies with an easy smile though his hazel eyes still contain worry.
"I still feel like I'm going to die, Father." Little Jimmy says through the pain.
"It'll pass. Victor was sick like this a couple years back, remember? And you stuck around bravely to keep him company until he got all better." Logan's father says as he kisses his son on the top of his head. Suddenly there is a loud knocking sound and then the three hear the sound of the front door banging open. Shouting can be heard.
"Howlett!" Comes a deep grumbling voice from downstairs. Victor becomes visibly panicked and even little Jimmy feels a deep sense of dread over come him.
"It's your father, Victor… and he sounds drunk." Logan's father says with an exasperated sigh before rising from his perch on the side of the bed. He then walks out of the room. "What do you want, Creed? It's late!" Comes his father's voice from the landing of the stairs.
"You stole her from me! You bastard! You stole her!" Comes the accusatory shouts of Victor's father.
"Now hold on, Creed. My wife chose me over you so let's leave the Past in the past." Logan's father says calmly to try and smooth things over.
"She had Victor from me… and Jimmy from you… but she'll always be mine, Howlett! Always!" Victor's father shouts angrily.
"You're drunk, Creed. You need to put the gun down and go home. Sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning." Logan's father says softly. The two boys look at one another with fear and surprise in their eyes and they both hurry to the stairs landing. They see Victor's father holding a lantern in one hand as he points a rifle at Logan's father. Logan's mother is standing near her husband as he holds his hands up to show that he is unarmed.
"Go home? No, we'll settle this now!" Creed shouts and fires the gun. The boom deafens Logan and then the next sound tears his heart out… his mother screams and pleads for help as she leans over her dying husband. Jimmy finds himself shaking like a leaf and a rage begins to fill him.
Logan screams out in rage and rushes down the stairs at his father's murderer. His tiny fists are balled up tight and ready to strike. He just wants to hurt this evil man who now stole his father from him… hurt him enough to end his life as well. As little Jimmy runs blades of bone slide out… three on each hand. He then lounges and buries those new claws deep into Creed's gut. The man is so stunned that he is speechless. Victor watches on with hard eyes at the scene playing out before him. Little Jimmy then pulls his fists back and punches over and over again, repeatedly stabbing the man who then moves to strike with his rifle.
"NO!" Logan's mother screams and grabs the gun. Creed goes down with little Jimmy stabbing him repeatedly and the barrel of the rifle slips from his mother's hands to point directly at her. The trigger is pulled and the gun's second barrel fires. The shot hits the woman in the stomach and she falls backwards.
"Jimmy, we have to leave." Victor says as he grabs Jimmy by the shoulder and pulls him away. The tears and pain is evident on the little boy's face… though a cold determination paints Victor's. "Now! Come on!" The blonde boy adds and yanks Jimmy away. They run… they run until their legs burn then keep running. Neither one of them looks back. Neither one of them wants to go back… almost as though they can outrun the horror of what just transpired.
"I can't… I can't go any further, Victor. I can't!" Jimmy says as he stops and collapses to his knees. His breathing heavy, his heart pounding in his ears as the blood rushes through his body. He looks at his hands. They hurt but it's more of a dull ache now than the sudden sharp piercing pain of earlier. He had ignored it in the heat of fury and then he…
"We can't stop, Jimmy. We can never stop." Victor then says snapping Jimmy from his thoughts. Sad hazel eyes look up into determined blue. "Don't feel bad about killing my paw. He was a bad man, Jimmy… very bad and he deserved what he got. He stole your paw from you… and… our maw. That means we're brothers, Jimmy. Got that? And nothing will ever tear us apart because we're brothers, we're family."
"That was Sabertooth." Her voice flits through his mind again and Logan opens his eyes to see Jean Grey lying beside him on a bed covered in white sheets in a room of white. "He's your brother."
"I guess my animalistic side runs in the family." Logan quips. He smirks but there is sorrow in his eyes. Jean strokes his cheek lovingly.
"You didn't know he was your brother when we stopped Magneto at Ellis Island. So don't beat yourself up, Logan." She says to comfort him then her lips ghost over his. The kiss is soft and sweet and just like how he remembers.
"Jean, I can't help it. I've hurt too many people… and I promise you that I'll never hurt anyone else ever again as long as I can help it." Logan vows.
"Don't say what you don't mean." Jean says with a smirk then ghosts her hand over his eyes. "Let's continue and see what else we will learn in this jumble of memories." Her voice is soft and soothing. It hypnotizes him back into a lull and the memories come again.
Logan watches as scenes of war play out in his mind. He flinches at all the killing he has done. So many lives he has taken… so much death found at the end of his claws. The pain of old injuries flashes hot through his mind as he sees himself and Victor fighting side by side over the decades.
They fought on the Union's side during the Civil War. They served as Pinkerton Men after that war in the Wild West which didn't last more than a decade since Victor kept getting into trouble. They drifted never staying more than ten years anywhere since their healing factor extended their lifespans considerably. They did this to avoid unwanted questions and suspicion in general. Then came the Great War and they found themselves in the trenches in Europe. It was hell on Earth and Logan thought that nothing could top that in its horror… but then came Adolf Hitler and World War II.
"That's an interesting memory." Jean comments as she sees the memories of Logan in Europe during that 'War to end All Wars'.
There is the multiple ringing clang of bullets hitting a shield as the heroic man dressed in blue, white, and red leads troops bravely across the sands of the beach of Normandy to storm the Nazi line. Logan fights side by side with Captain America as they storm the fox holes and machine gun shacks. Victor is off doing his own thing and gets a machine gun clip being unloaded into his gut before he then slaughters the Nazi soldier when the bullets run out.
"You're quite the fighter, Howlett." Captain America says as he approaches Logan who quickly tugs on a white t-shirt after toweling himself off. The Captain gives the equally tall, dark haired man's body a curious glance.
"You're not so bad at it yourself, Captain. Though I can see how that shield of yours does come in quite handy." Logan replies.
"You took several shots today yet you've healed up nicely." The Captain says his voice sharp with equal parts suspicion and curiosity. "Did they try to replicate the Super Soldier program?"
"I don't know anything about any program… I'm just a fast healer, Cap." Logan retorts giving a shrug. A disappointed look crosses Rogers face then.
"I could use a man of your talents, Howlett. How about I put the word in and you join up with me as one of the Howling Commandos?" Captain Rogers then asks as his face softens and his voice becomes friendly once more. Logan looks the Captain square in the eye.
"Sorry, Cap… but me and my brother vowed that we would never split up. He's the only family I've got and I'm the only family he's got." Logan then replies and his voice is laced with sorrow. "If things were different? Then yeah, I'd join ya in a heartbeat."
"Creed is your brother?" Steve asks curiously.
"Yes, we have the same mother but different fathers." Logan replies and tenses. He doesn't want to think too long on the topic of his parents.
"I understand…" Rogers says with a sigh then gives Logan a serious look from his blue eyes. "But you need to keep an eye on Creed. He's too ruthless and full of bloodlust, the likes of which I've never seen before in a man… save one. Though your brother is more… chaotic." The Captain cautions and a silence falls between them. Rogers then breaks it. "Perhaps one day our paths will cross again." Steve Rogers then says as he offers his hand out to Logan.
"I look forward to it, Cap." Logan says with a smile as they shake hands firmly. Logan's hazel eyes narrow slightly as his left eyebrow arcs up in surprise at the strength in Steve's grasp. The Captain's blue eyes study him closely but there is respect within them when they release hands.
"Until we meet again, Good luck, Howlett." Steve says with an easy smile which is genuinely friendly and then he walks off. They go their separate ways…
"He was one of the most idealistic and good-hearted person I have ever met. Until I met Xavier that is. Sadly, I never seen him again after that. In 1944, he went down in a plane crash and died." Logan then says with a sad sigh. A distant look fills Jean's green eyes.
"He's still alive." She then says as she stares off blankly. Logan is confused.
"What? How?" He asks puzzled by this revelation. Jean then returns her gaze to Logan and she smiles warmly at him.
"He was found around the same time that you killed me. He was trapped in a Greenland ice sheet. He's still alive and looks just how you remember him. Do you want to go and meet him? I can lead you to him." Jean then says and watches Logan expectantly for his answer.
"No. That's a part of my old life. Besides, I don't want to hurt anyone ever again." Logan replies.
"Well, if you ever change your mind… he is currently living in New York City. In Brooklyn to be exact." Jean then says. Logan doesn't say anything but he thinks about how he will never change his mind to go visit Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America.
"Never think never." She then replies to his thoughts and Logan gives her a slightly annoyed glare, but she just smiles sweetly at him. Logan can't deny its power over him and he starts to smile.
"Come here you." He growls playfully and takes Jean into his arms. They kiss and as they do… more memories flit through Logan's consciousness. When He opens his eyes again, he sees a beautiful woman of Native American decent. Her long black hair flows over her shoulders to hide her naked chest while her bright blue eyes study him. She looks so familiar, yet Logan cannot even recall her name. He blinks and sees Jean again straddling him wearing her white silky slip.
"Who was she?" Jean asks curiously.
"I don't know." Logan replies puzzled by what he has just seen.
"Let's find out shall we?" Jean then says with a grin and kisses Logan.
He sees himself in Vietnam. It's the late sixties. He and Victor have been here since it started and Logan is already too tired of this war to continue. Victor, on the other hand, is having the time of his life. Just yesterday they raided a village where suspected enemy soldiers were using as a way station to get supplies down the front lines… but it turned out to be a false lead yet the lieutenant insisted they stay.
Logan then hears screaming and shouts and so he springs up ready for a fight. He hurries to the center of camp to find Victor snarling wildly and the other soldiers shouting at him with guns raised.
"Stand down, Soldier! Stand down!" One of them yells but Victor only growls and rushes him. Claws slash and the soldier is ripped open.
"Victor!" Logan yells as he pulls his taller, bulkier brother back. The other soldiers then open fire. As the bullets hit, Logan his rage builds within. He shouts and his thin bone claws slide out. That causes some of the firing to stop, but they are rushed again and soon both brothers go down. Victor fought to keep them off while Logan complied. They were quickly bound with their arms behind their backs and taken to south to Saigon within an hour.