I've thought about him.
Well who wouldn't think about someone they loved that they lost. It's in everyone to care deeply about something. Augustus loved me deeply.
It has been three weeks since Augustus Waters died. Since he left this world not accomplishing all that he wanted to. He wanted to leave his mark on the world, to be remembered. Gus left his mark. His mark wasn't big, it was however big enough to cover everyone around him, especially me.
I had paced my room with thoughts of him. I sat on the swing set and thought about every single word he had ever spoken to me. I cried too.
Everywhere I turned I saw him.
In the cigarettes people smoke outside of the supermarket, and how I learned of Augustus's first metaphor.
The swings and how he told me he wouldn't lessen his affection for me.
The stars and how he could not fathom them into constellations.
Even stupid circles.
Augustus was the love of my life. We didn't get enough time to love each other like everyone else loves. But this much I know:
Love isn't measured by the amount of time we love. I loved Augustus for only a short amount of time yet I know our story is one of the greatest. It's the greatest because it isn't famous like Romeo and Juliet, but it still is a beautiful love that I cherish.
And Gus didn't scar my heart. He healed it with every being of himself. He would make me feel like no one else could.
I can't even describe into words how much he meant to me, so instead I will continue to think about him until I die from my crappy lungs. I have a feeling that time isn't too far away from this very point. I am slowly letting go every day.
So, remember this. How two kids with cancer fell in love so there lives were no longer about cancer. Our lives weren't about the fault in our stars. Our lives were about our okay.