The entire premise of this story is a line in Case of Tifa, where Tifa herself talks about all the silly conversations she has with Cloud. It got me thinking, "What kind of silly conversations?" So, this story was born. I hope it's funny, as I don't have much experience with comedy, but that's beside the point. As a note, this takes place before Denzel arrives, and a ragamuffin is defined as "a ragged, disreputable person." Hope you like it!

He was late. As she cleaned the bar, she couldn't help but wonder where he was, as he had promised to help her clean up the bar earlier that morning. But now she stood behind the counter, slowly wiping a cloth across the marble with her warrior's eyes trained on the door.

She was so busy trying to intimidate the thick wood of the door that she didn't notice the shadow cover the small window. As such, she jumped with a loud yelp as Cloud shouldered the door open, stumbled in, and slammed the door shut behind him.

An awkward silence hung in the air, and Tifa couldn't help but notice how dirty he was. Seriously, this boy was filthy. It's like he had an unfortunate encounter with a buck chocobo in a muddy field during mating season. With Cloud's hair and tendency to wear dresses, it would only be natural for the poor bird to confuse him for a potential mate.

Cloud stood tall and turned to face Tifa, his expression like a young boy trying to solve a particularly problematic math problem.

"What's a raga?"

Tifa blinked, and held Cloud's gaze. "A what now?"

"A raga," he stated flatly, as if it were okay for him to not know it, but Tifa definitely should. He spread his hands, "I think it's a kind of fruit or berry or something. Does that help?"

"No, but I think you need some help," Tifa said, grinning like a little devil as she did so.

Cloud, still disheveled and dirty with a curious look on his face, looked only entirely crazy. He didn't seem to catch her joke, and kept talking, "I looked it up in the book you gave me, but it wasn't there."

"You mean the fruits and veggies book?"

"Yeah," he said, finally leaving the door and walking forward to plop on a stool by the bar. He took the book out of his back pocket, laid it on the counter, and stared at the cover, trying to get its secrets to be revealed.

Tifa leaned forward and glared at the book too, letting a low, playful growl escape her throat as she did so.

They stayed like that a while, until her curiosity got the better of her. "Cloud, why do you want to know what a raga is?"

He sat back and chewed his lower lip, trying to decide where to start. Tifa just waited, and tried not to laugh as she tried to imagine Cloud crammed into Marlene's desk at school with this same expression, trying to answer a question the teacher had posed.

"Okay," he said, finally laying out the plan of his story in his mind. "I was at the market, I wanted to pick up some carrots for you because I know you like carrot cake so much—," Tifa blushed at this, but didn't say anything, and he continued. "So I went to the produce stand, got my carrots, and was about to leave when I saw something… purple. Really, really purple, much darker than my old SOLDIER uniform. So I wanted to find out what it was. So I took the… thing over to Fenrir where I had left my book and suddenly the shopkeeper started screaming at me!"

Tifa had to interrupt here, lightly touching Cloud on the arm. "Cloud, how far away did you park Fenrir?"

"About a block and a half. I left it at the entrance to the market, it's hard to navigate through the stalls with all the people there."

"So you took this vegetable from the stall, and just started walking toward the entrance to the market?"

"Yeah. Then she called me a ragamuffin! The shopkeeper, that is. No one's ever used baked goods as an insult for me before."

Tifa stuffed her face firmly into her palm, trying to imagine that Cloud was just joking, that he'd burst out laughing at any minute and tease her for believing him in the first place.

"So, I asked her what a ragamuffin tasted like and why I was like one, and she just looked at me."

Nope.

"Then I figured she wanted me to find out for myself, so I asked if any local bakeries sold ragamuffins so I could try eating one. Again, she just looked at me!"

Tifa had her face in both hands now, trying to decide if she should be laughing or consoling him. She could try laughing while consoling him, but he might catch on.

"So, when that didn't work, I asked her if I could get a recipe for ragamuffins to make them myself, at which point she said 'Screw it, it's only an eggplant' and went back to her stall."

Tifa couldn't hold back anymore, "Cloud, you do realize why she yelled at you, right?"

Cloud thought, then shook his head. "Not interested about that. I just want to know what a ragamuffin is."

She smiled, and laid her hand on his upper arm, "I'll explain it to you if you help me make the stew. Deal?"

Cloud blushed and nodded. "I'll go get the carrots."

Tifa went back to the kitchen, and once in her safe haven away from Cloud's sensitive hearing, burst out laughing. She laughed until her eyes watered, calming down enough to stand straight again and wipe a tear from her eye.

Cloud was at the door to the kitchen, a downcast look on his face. Tifa's heart tightened, and just as she was about to apologize for her outburst, Cloud held out an eggplant in his hand.

"I forgot about the carrots in the excitement. Sorry," he mumbled.

Tifa eyed the eggplant, feeling a grin spread on her face. Eventually, that grin turned into a smile and that smile into a laugh, until she was bent over like she had been before.

"It's okay Cloud, eggplant stew isn't so bad…"

Not too bad I hope... Please R&R!