Chapter 1: Totally Sober
"Kisuke…Come outside and get some fresh air. Stop spending everyday of your life inside of that God forsaken lab," Kina complained.
"Can't. I'm busy," came an indifferent voice from the lab. She let out a sigh as she opened her mouth to reply once more.
"Urahara Kisuke. I am ordering you to come out of that lab at once and enjoy your life instead of staying cooped up in there."
A pause came from the lab. "Nooo, you can't do that 'cause I'm a captain," he said whining. Even through the door, Kina could hear him smile.
"I'm coming inside," Kina declared.
"No, no, no, wait!" Kisuke immediately rushed to the door and opened it the slightest bit, only allowing his face to be shown. He poked his head out and looked at the growling woman before him.
"Oh…Why hello there, Kina! What are you doing here?" Urahara Kisuke laughed nervously and smiled sheepishly.
"Urahara…You have ten minutes to clean up whatever mess you made in there before I drag you out," Kina warned.
"But—But…I'm not done yet!"
"Just WHAT in God's name are you conjuring up in there?!" She paused. "Are you trying to summon the Devil, because if so, that is extremely dangerous and I am absolutely, like, definitely positive that Yoruichi won't approve!" Kina stopped for a second. "And just so you know, I am also very offended that you won't let me help you summon the Devil!" Kina tossed her chestnut hair over her shoulder with a flourish.
"…I'm not summoning the Devil, Kina…" Urahara deadpanned. Kina perked up and smiled.
"Well, that's good! Come on! There's a whole day ahead of us, and we are not letting that go to waste just because you're doing creepy shit in your lab!" Kina grabbed Kisuke by his captain's haori and dragged him out of his workspace.
"Wait! I—I didn't lock the door! H—Hiyori! Would you close the door, please! And Kina, will you let go please? Or so help me, God, I will report you to the Captain Commander! Kina!"
"Oh, Kisuke, how I missed spending time with you~ It seems that ever since you became captain of the 12th division, I'm just left to be the poor third seat from the first division! You should really stop being a genius; you're making me feel bad!" Kina exclaimed as she looked down at Kisuke who was being dragged along like a rag doll.
"…Kina, let go, please, the division members are staring…" Kisuke murmured quietly. The twelfth division members were staring at the two wondering how in the world their captain was being handled so recklessly by a skinny little girl who was a head shorter than their captain.
"I can't 'cause I promised Yoruichi that I wouldn't let go until we got to the second division." Kina said. "Man, all of my closest friends are captains…Maybe I should try harder if any of the lieutenants or captains happen to die or something…" Kina wondered aloud.
"Are you saying you want one of them to die?" Kisuke asked questioningly.
"Of course not! I'm not some crazy bitch who just kidnaps a captain of the Gotei 13 from their office!" Kina retorted.
Kisuke was quiet for the rest of the trip to Yoruichi's division. Despite Kisuke's sudden lack of words, Kina chattered away about her life and what she got when she went shopping. Kisuke couldn't help but let out an audible sigh of relief when Kina stopped talking. Kina squinted at Kisuke and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the arrival of Yoruichi.
"Yes! Now the gang's all here," Kina exclaimed, flinging her hands into the air.
"So what did you have in mind?" Yoruichi asked.
"Wait," Kisuke interrupted. Both females gave him questioning looks.
Kisuke continued, "Are you telling me, that you dragged me all the way here from my office and you haven't even made any plans?" His voice was eerily calm.
Both girls looked at each other before turning to him and nodding their heads in agreement.
"Something like that…" Kina remarked.
"Exactly what you said, Kisuke," Yoruichi smiled and laughed cheerily.
"...Okay, well, come and get me when you figure out whatever it is you guys need sorting out." As Kisuke turned to walk back to his division Kina came up with the most ingenious idea that had ever been said.
"Let's go to this new cafe in Seireitei. It was in the Communication and it's been getting really good reviews! It has tea and everything!" Her eyes shone as she described the cafe. Small and intimate with a touch of modern society.
"Oooohhh, Kina~ What a good idea," Yoruichi exclaimed, leaning forward in her seat.
Kisuke gave out a sigh of defeat as he watched the two ladies latch arms together and walk off to the cafe, Kina leading the way. He stuffed his hands in his sleeves and followed after them.
By the time they reached the cafe, Kisuke was bored out of his mind. He had no choice but the be the third wheel since all of Kina and Yoruichi's conversation consisted of was new fighting styles and who's hair looked best. They walked in and the bell above the door made a slight tinkling sound. They sat down at a vacant table to continue their conversation.
Yoruichi and Kisuke both gave Kina odd stares when she suddenly halted the conversation and pulled aside a waitress.
"Three cups. Two of them filled with tea, one with sake, comprehend?" Kina whispered in the waitresses ear, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Uh, pardon me, but who is the sake for?" came the timid reply of the waitress.
"The pretty boy in the captain's haori," Kina replied with a devious wink. And with an enthusiastic push from Kina, the waitress stumbled away to prepare her orders. Kina returned to the table with a victorious smirk.
"What did you do, and why do you have that look on your face?" Kisuke questioned, squinting his eyes.
"Nothing you need to know, but trust me, it'll be amusing," Kina snickered. She winked at Yoruichi and she smiled, immediately understanding the situation.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait. What was that? Is that some kind of secret girl language that guys aren't meant to understand?" Kisuke questioned, beginning to grow uneasy at the secretive winks and smiles the two girls were giving each other.
"Our drinks are here!" Kina exclaimed, completely ignoring Kisuke's question. Yoruichi and Kina anxiously waited for Kisuke's reaction.
"Is it me or does my tea taste weird?" Kisuke said, taking a sip out of his cup. The two girls snickered behind their cups, trying hard to not laugh.
Before Kina could retort with something sarcastic, a hell butterfly flew from the open window and perched on the rim of Yoruichi's cup.
"Yoruichi, your services are needed, come as soon as possible to Division One." Yoruichi was up and out the door before the sentence was finished.
"You didn't even drink your tea!" Kina sighed.
"Who's going to pay now?" Kina wondered aloud. She immediately turned to Kisuke. However, the only thing she saw was an empty seat.
"Kisuke? Kisuke! Where has he gone now?" Kina grumbled as she pushed her chair back. A startled squeak was heard from underneath the table.
"No way," Kina breathed. Preparing herself for the possible monstrosity she was about to see, she lifted the tablecloth. Kisuke Urahara was indeed under the table. Red faced and hiccupping, Kisuke crawled out from under the table and dusted himself off. Kisuke directed his attention to Kina.
"My, my! Kina, is that you? Y-you never told me you had a s-sister!" Kisuke swooned. Kina turned around in confusion.
"A sister? No, I don't have a- Wait, Kisuke, are you drunk?" Kina questioned curiously.
"Well, my dear Kina, there are two of you, but I m-must say. You are d-definitely the more attractive one," Kisuke slurred. A pink tinge made itself visible on Kina's pale cheeks as she pushed Kisuke in the direction of his laboratory. Kisuke's constant compliments certainly didn't help Kina's growing blush as they approached his laboratory.
"You're getting lovelier by the second, Kina," Kisuke breathed as he leaned on her shoulders while she fished out the laboratory keys from his pocket. When the click of the lock sounded and the door swung open, Kisuke abandoned his spot on her shoulder and dashed inside.
"Make sure you rest and drink plenty of water so you don't get a hangover, okay?" Kina reminded Kisuke as he nudged her towards the exit. She spun around when they reached the doorway and put her hands on her hips.
"Did you even hear anything that I just said? Kisuke? Kisuke!"
"Yes, mother," Kisuke teased. Kina let out an exasperated sigh which turned into a surprised squeak as she felt herself being pulled into a strong embrace.
"What a terrible thing you did, Kina, replacing my tea with sake," Kisuke shook his head.
"Wait, you knew?" Kina said as she squirmed in his grasp.
"Of course I d-did. A captain who can't tell the difference b-between tea and sake isn't worth his salt," Kisuke exclaimed confidently. Kina stuck her tongue out at him.
"I only drank it because I wanted to make y-you laugh," he muttered. Kina stopped resisting and relaxed in his arms. Kina hesitantly hugged him back. They stood there for a while, taking in each other's warmth. When finally-
"Thank you, Kina," Kisuke muttered as he fell asleep, arms still wrapped around her waist.
"H-hey! You idiot, don't pass out while we're standing upright," Kina complained. Kisuke only snored in reply. Shaking her head, Kina dragged his limp body to a cot in the corner of the room. With a final look at his sleeping form, she closed the door behind her, and walked back to her division with a small smile on her face.