I'm eating Wendy's. Blame them.

This is basically a convo I imagined Sasuke and Itachi having. It sucks, like all of my other stories, but I really don't care.

SCENE: Itachi is wearing one of those heinous orange jumpsuits that prisoners wear, and he and Sasuke are talking to each other at that glass thing they have at jails, where the prisoner is sitting behind one side of the glass with guards behind him, and the visitor is sitting on the other side of the glass. And then there's that telephone thing that enables them to talk to each other. I seriously hope you guys know what I'm talking about. Or I'll feel like an idiot. So if you don't – just go with it.

Itachi: God. This is so dumb. I could kill everyone in this building in about two minutes without any holdups at all, break out, steal your eyes, and then kill you. This is SO STUPID.

Sasuke: Uh. Then why don't you? And why two minutes?

Itachi: Well, I'm not the one writing this story, am I? And why two minutes? It's a big ass building.

Sasuke: Ahh. And then you would, as you said, steal my eyes? You know, Itachi, that goal has procured you a lot of haters. Maybe you should just let it go.

Itachi: Well, it's not like a ton of people like you, either. You almost killed Naruto. That was kinda a huge middle finger to all your fangirls.

Sasuke: Oh boo hoo. They could cry me a river. Besides, I still have my looks.

Itachi: May I remind you that you and I look basically exactly alike?

Sasuke: Yes, we do, but you have those lines under your eyes, which girls don't find very attractive. I, however, am line-free. I'm also younger, so I look more… fresh, you could say.

Itachi: Older means more experience.

Buuuuuurn.

Sasuke: Remind me again how you got in here again?

Itachi: Changing the subject, I see. Wise.

Sasuke: Hardy har har. How'd you get in here? You were always telling me how you were the best and how that brings arrogance and all that crap. Where's the arrogance now? You're wearing an ugly orange jumpsuit and compared to the other thugs in here, you look like a wimp.

Itachi: Do you want me to write it on my forehead? I'M NOT THE ONE WRITING THE STORY. If I was, I'd be pulling your eyes out of your head, kidnapping Naruto, and getting a new pet – Kyuubi.

Sasuke: I met Kyuubi once. Scary thing. He told me I was more sinister than he was, but didn't expect any less from a descendant of Madara.

Itachi: Well, he certainly would know Madara.

Sasuke: I still can't understand why you would want that thing and control it as a pet. When he took over Naruto it was pretty damn scary.

Itachi: Just because he frightened you doesn't mean I can't handle him. I am amazing.

Sasuke: Um. You're in jail. Doesn't exactly scream amazing.

Itachi: Yeah, well, once this story is over it'll all be back to normal.

Sasuke: I suppose. You'll try to kill me, I'll try to kill you, but we'll end up holding hands and dancing to Shania Twain.

Itachi: …What?

Sasuke: Nothing.

I kinda feel like this story is going nowhere. I'll bring in some more characters. And probably end up killing Itachi.

SCENE: Enter Deidara.

Sasuke and Itachi: (To Deidara) Oh God. I thought you were dead!

Deidara: Yeah, me too. Don't exactly know how I'm here.

I know it probably isn't the wisest thing to bring an Akatsuki member back to life, but Deidara has some unfinished business with Itachi. (I think we all know how this is gonna turn out…)

Deidara: But since Abbie is getting tired of writing this dead story, I'll just do my business and it'll be over.

Deidara performs his C-2 jutsu thing, the one that almost killed Sasuke, but Sasuke summoned Oro's giant snake and saved himself. Poor ickle snake died. But anyways. Sasuke transforms into his curse mark state with his little wings. Sasuke flies away, Deidara expands and blows up. Itachi dies. I'm uncreative. Hate me.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!