Title: Moving On (Part 1, 2, 3, 4)
Author: ScrollLocke
Characters & Pairings: Kate/Juliet (LOST)
Rating: PG - R ish
Disclaimer: I am yet another sad soul who doesn't own LOST.
Summary: Claire and Sawyer died on the island. Juliet was never with Sawyer, she didn't die, and she left on 316 with Richard, Miles, Frank, and ... Kate. [This is my first story!]
The sun had long gone down. They were all exhausted. Miles was the only one who was able to sleep on the plane - everyone else seemed to be unable to control the need to process what had just happened. In the quiet of communal contemplation, someone would occasionally take a long, deep breath, but no one spoke and no one cried.
Richard unintentionally dozed off on the couch in the lobby of the hotel while Frank made room arrangements. Miles looked disenchanted as he sipped on a whiskey at the bar. Kate and Juliet unknowingly made a mutual assessment of each other - that the other looked like she felt at least as old as Richard actually was. The other guests swirled in and around them. Their breezy strolls, their pina colada's, their suntans. Juliet watched as Miles ordered another drink and then briefly closed her eyes to dissuade the inclination to join him in drowning his uneasiness away.
Frank returned to the group with room keys. Only a few necessary words were exchanged. After he gave Miles' his key, he briefly turned back toward the rest, and gently smiled with the sharp realization that he would never see any of them again. Richard stood, wished Kate and Juliet luck, and began walking away - slow at first, quicker as he turned a corner at the end of the hall.
Kate and Juliet had adjoining oceanside rooms, the separating wall serving poorly as a sound barrier. Kate heard Juliet run a bath and wondered if she might take one herself. The thought faded into another, into another, until she was back on the island, hollow and suffocating. The sound of Juliet's draining bath water snapped her back into focus. Hours passed. They both flipped through the channels over and over again, as if the next cycle through would reveal something better. At different times they both surrendered to the pointlessness of the attempt - and the screens went black with a push of a button, leaving the rooms in darkness.
Juliet had lived on the island for six years. She spent all of them wanting to leave, all of them alone. And now, she's alone again, unable to stop her mind from replaying all the worst parts. She wants to call her sister - but decides because of the late hour that would be better left for the morning. She hears Kate stir, get out of bed, and open the sliding glass door to her balcony. She wonders how Kate could stand to look at the ocean. Minutes later Juliet is startled by a knock at the adjoining door. "Juliet?" Kate asks, "Can I come in?". Juliet pauses and takes a deep breath before rising and opening the door. Kate is holding a couple wine bottles from the mini bar. She looks at the bottles, then at Juliet and says, "I don't really want to be alone tonight." Her tone is oddly assertive. Juliet gives her a half smile and motions for Kate to come in.
Juliet flips a light on, as well as the tv, while Kate pours the wine into plastic cups. She hands one to Juliet as they both sit down on the bed, leaning back against the headrest. It's almost awkward at first - sitting next to each other and not talking - but as the wine continues to be poured, they feel comfortable enough. After the bottles are gone Juliet notices that Kate finally looks sleepy. Kate rises and Juliet assumes she's leaving - she's surprised when Kate pulls back the curtains covering the sliding glass doors. The moon is illuminating the ocean and the sight draws the air out of Juliet's lungs. Kate stands there for a while, Juliet's eyes glued to her back, avoiding what's beyond. Juliet eventually gets up, washes her face, and when she comes back Kate is laying away from her on her side under the covers, the curtains have been drawn. Juliet turns off the light, the tv - and doesn't hesitate getting into bed. She was barely friends with Kate but the intensity of their shared circumstance leaves them both to appreciate the presence of the other.
Neither of them have moved, being careful to not accidentally touch the other. Juliet still can't sleep. She senses that Kate can't either. Her suspicion is confirmed when she hears Kate quietly crying. Juliet's nurturing instinct kicks in, she rolls on her side, slides behind Kate and wraps her arm around her. It surprises Kate - she tenses. Juliet worries she made a mistake but she's put to ease when Kate takes a hold of her hand and relaxes. Again, they lay in silence. After Kate stops crying Juliet rolls onto her back. Kate is embarrassed that she immediately misses her touch, the rhythm of her heartbeat. "Do you want me to go?"
Juliet can't be certain of what she wants - but the thought of physically being alone is enough for her to respond with, "No." She shifts back onto her side - brow furrowed. Her mouth is near Kate's ear. "Stay." Kate smiles without Juliet knowing. Eventually they both fall asleep. Juliet wakes up shortly after the sun rises to an empty bed and the smell of coffee. She notices Kate standing on the balcony - resting her elbows on the railing, coffee cup in hand - the breeze playing with her hair. Neither of them slept long enough or well enough to feel rested - but the combination of sunlight and coffee ... and surprisingly, Kate - motivated Juliet to get up, grab a cup, and join Kate in the balmy morning air. Kate turned her head at the sound of the door sliding - and quietly said "Good morning." Juliet responded with the same as she leaned against the railing - relived that the ocean view was slightly less daunting than she thought it would be - mostly just glad Kate hadn't already left.
Both of them were staring at the water but neither were focusing on it. A few minutes after Juliet was in her presence Kate recognized that this moment might be the last time (in what could be a long time) that she would be with someone that completely understood. It made her anxious. Juliet sensed a change in her demeanor and turned her head toward Kate. The silence between them was no longer comfortable so Kate, without looking at Juliet, asked, "What will you do now?". Juliet turned back toward the water, took a sip of coffee, and thought. The thinking was unnecessary - she had known what she would do post her island liberation from 6 years of thinking about it. Her hesitation in answering was because she had read Kate's file - knew that Kate had no home to return to - no family that really wanted to see her. But Juliet had to say something. "Miami. My sister and my nephew live there." Kate nodded. Without Juliet asking Kate said, "I need to tell Cassidy what happened to Sawyer." Juliet chose not to inquire into Kate's plans post Cassidy for fear that Kate might not have any, that she might be scared of the future - she herself was having a hard time seeing past the day at hand. "If you're ever in Miami, you should visit." Kate turned back toward Juliet and smiled.
Five months had passed since Kate and Juliet said goodbye at the hotel. Kate returned to Los Angeles and stayed with Cassidy for a few months, but staying anywhere too long opposed her restless nature. She had grown beyond the need to run away - so instead she packed her life into her car and began driving - toward what, she hadn't determined yet. At least she was in motion - her path revealing itself as she traveled it. She wasn't surprised when she came across Frank at a bar in New Orleans. She had seen Miles a handful of times while she was still in Los Angeles. Frank was happy to have her company for a couple rounds of drinks. "I ran into Juliet in Miami a few weeks ago." he slurred. Kate realized she hadn't really been paying attention to what he was saying until she heard Juliet's name. "She's working at a hospital there, downtown, seemed to be doing okay." Before parting Frank put his hand on Kate's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. His eyes were soft, sincere. "Good to see you Kate." - "You too Frank." Kate sat alone for a minute, finishing her drink, thinking about Miami.
A day and a half later Kate was strolling down Miami Beach - shoes in hand, people-watching, curious as to why she felt so anxious. But she found the crowd comforting, the cool ocean refreshing. Beaches brought back intense memories - good and bad. Today her thought trail lead her to the circumstance of meeting Juliet, of hating Juliet, of not trusting/trusting, then finally settled on genuinely missing her. Kate was often overwhelmed by missing. Jack, Sawyer, Sun, Claire. But they were gone, leaving their missing to be endless - without resolution, haunting. Juliet, at least, was tangible - and close by. Kate had passed a hospital while navigating to the beach through downtown. She took a last look over the water - the late afternoon sun shimmering on its skin - put on her shoes and headed toward the hospital.
She inquired at the information booth about Dr. Burke and was pointed in the direction of the research offices. She was greeted by a secretary who informed her that Dr. Burke had been in a meeting at another medical facility but should be back shortly. The secretary called Juliet to ask about her arrival time and mentioned that her friend Kate was there. They exchanged a few more words. After the call ended the secretary told Kate that she could wait in Juliet's office. The office had an inviting leather couch that Kate sat down on. She flipped through a few magazines laying around - more than occasionally looking at the clock. When she heard the doorknob turn she took a sharp breath - when she saw Juliet, she smiled.
Juliet was already smiling when she entered the room. She had been hoping for a while that Kate would turn up. Having Kate around meant not having to hide, to push away certain memories. She told Rachel a significant portion of what happened on the island - but not everything. With Kate she could just - relax. They looked at each other for a second before Kate stood and said a coy, "Hi." Juliet closed the door, quickly sat down her bag, and approached Kate. "Hi." she replied, while pulling Kate into an embrace. They held each other for longer than either of them thought they would - as if they had only one chance to soak up as much comfort as the other had to offer. "Are you tired? Hungry?" Juliet asked. Kate broke the embrace. "Hungry." Juliet picked up her bag, opened the door. "Let's get out of here then." They headed toward Juliet's car.
They decided on pizza and beer. Juliet helped Kate bring in her bags and showed her the guest room. Kate began unpacking a few things. Juliet lingered in the doorway. "Towels are in the bathroom. Take a shower if you'd like. Pizza should be here soon." When Juliet turned to leave Kate stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder, "Thanks, Juliet - for letting me stay." Juliet turned back around, put her hand over Kate's, and said 'you're welcome' with her smile. Kate showered. She could smell the pizza as soon as entered the living room. The box was sitting on the coffee table and Juliet was sitting on the couch - almost done drinking a beer. "Do you have to work tomorrow?" Kate asked on her way through to the kitchen. "No." Juliet replied, "I have a few days off." - "Want another one?" - "Yah. Thanks." Kate grabbed two beers and joined Juliet on the couch.
They talked about the past five months, about Rachel and Julian - about Cassidy and Clementine. Many beers later they talked about Jack, Sawyer - Goodwin, even Edmund. "Are you seeing anyone now?" Kate felt compelled to ask. Juliet took a sip of her beer and replied, "No. You?" Kate half sighed and half chuckled. "Nope." Juliet was sitting with her legs crossed, her knee touching Kate's. The conversation continued on for a while - past the last beer. Eventually Kate was struggling to keep her eyes open. Juliet noticed, put her hand on Kate's knee, "Ready for bed? " - Kate nodded. They said goodnight - and quickly fell asleep.
Juliet woke up with the sun. She laid in bed for a while - wondering if Kate was already awake. She didn't hear any stirring, so she tried to fall back asleep - but couldn't. Her mind was already active. She wondered if Kate might like coffee ready when she woke up - if Kate would want breakfast - she wondered so much about Kate that she surprised herself. She took a shower, made coffee, and flipped through a series of morning new shows. Kate woke up a couple hours later. She wandered into the kitchen. The coffee smelled - delightful. "Good morning." Juliet got up from the couch and entered the kitchen with an empty cup. "Good morning." Kate replied with a sleepy smile. They decided to meet Rachel and Julian for breakfast. Kate wasn't surprised that she found Rachel charming.
They said goodbye to Rachel and Julian and then spent the rest of the day exploring Miami - spent the evening strolling the boardwalk, unintentionally watched the sun sink behind the Atlantic. After dinner - they decided to watch a movie, which evolved into sort of watching a movie and drinking a couple bottles of wine. When Kate got up to open the second bottle, Juliet stretched her legs out across the couch. Kate poured the wine, put the bottle on the coffee table. Juliet started to swing her legs out of the way so Kate could sit back down but Kate stopped her, "You can stay like that." She motioned for Juliet to lift her legs up. "I don't mind." Kate sat down. Juliet raised a suspicious eyebrow and then lowered her legs across Kate's lap. Juliet teased her, "How many more glasses of wine would it take for a foot massage?".
Kate tried to fall asleep but was distracted by the thunderstorm that had been lurking over Miami for the past few hours. She gave up - and took a trip to the bathroom, with the intention of figuring out whether or not Juliet was still awake. Her door was slightly ajar, her lamp on. She must be reading, Kate assumed - then knocked, "You awake?" she sort of whispered, not knowing why she was whispering or why she was bothering Juliet to begin with. The wine was still swirling through her system. "Yep." Juliet replied.
Kate hesitated for a second - realizing her lack of directive, then pushed the door open anyway. It took a minute for Kate to say something, "Can't sleep." she finally stated. - "Me either." - A few slightly awkward seconds later Juliet added, "Want to watch TV?" She put her book down and picked up the remote. Kate answered by sitting down on the bed. A few episodes of 90's sitcoms later, Juliet hit the power button, yawned - and turned to Kate, "You staying?" - "Maybe." Kate replied nonchalantly with a hint of smirkyness. Juliet ignored her obviously voluntary indecisiveness and turned off the light. It had been a while since she'd shared a bed with someone - long enough to miss the comfort, the feeling of safety - the feeling of knowing that you are not alone. As Kate got under the covers she noted, in a 'heading toward' serious tone, "I'm glad I'm here." - Juliet rolled onto her side, facing Kate who was staring at the ceiling. "Me too."
Juliet went back to her regular work week. She hoped she made it clear that Kate really was welcome to stay as long as she wanted - Kate believed her. They fell into a domestic pattern of Kate making Juliet breakfast before work, trading off making dinner, doing housework. They often joked about it - but it worked...flowed, they meshed well together. It wasn't often that Kate slept in her own bed. She told herself for a while that it was because Juliet's bed was more comfortable. During one of their many late night, in bed, slightly tipsy conversations they talked about how they didn't leave the house enough - and somehow promised they would go out dancing. Kate was convinced Juliet came up with the idea - Juliet was convinced that Kate did. Regardless, the following weekend, they went out.
They chose a gay bar because they thought they'd feel more comfortable - However, they both quickly realized that the nerve required to dance in any public place, required a large amount of alcohol. After they ordered drinks they joked about how they both had been drinking more lately than they had since their early 20's. "I dated a guy my junior year of college, that came out of the closet while we were together." Juliet admitted a few drinks later. "He was gorgeous." - Kate laughed and then froze. "That is funny, isn't it?" She looked concerned. Juliet laughed. Later into the evening they weren't even trying to ignore a lesbian couple at the table next to them - who weren't shy about PDA. When the couple got up to leave Juliet turned to Kate with an eyebrow raised, "You ever kissed a girl?" she inquired. Kate felt like she had to have turned red - maybe Juliet didn't notice. "The sister of my high school boyfriend..." Juliet looked amused and curious. "How did that happen?" - "Came over late one night, he wasn't home, but she was. We ended up talking for a long time. I think she was 4 years older, I didn't know her from school. She was cool. We hung out a few times - I didn't know she was gay - she thought I did." Kate paused. Juliet motioned for her to continue, "And?"... Kate took a drink. "And, she kissed me." Juliet wasn't satisfied. "What kind of kiss?" - Kate thought for a second, "A kiss, kiss." - Juliet looked slightly puzzled, "So you cheated on your boyfriend with his sister?" - They both erupted in laughter and agreed it was hilarious.
They didn't do much dancing apart from when a couple of gay guys practically begged them to. They lasted a few songs and then realized that one of the guys was definitely not gay. When Juliet went to the bar to get some water the guy asked Kate, "Is your friend straight?" - Kate could tell that Juliet had no interest in him. "She's gay." The guy didn't believe her. "There's no way she's gay." He shook his head. Juliet was walking toward them with the water. "Impossible." he slurred. Juliet handed Kate a cup. "You're gay?" He pointed at Juliet. She looked at Kate with a raised eyebrow. Kate discretely nodded. "Yah", Juliet played along, "Gay." She put her arm around Kate's waist, "You ready to go?" - "Yep." - They navigated back to their table, paid the bill, and avoided making eye contact with the guy on their way out. Juliet fell asleep with her head on Kate's shoulder during the cab ride home.
While Juliet was brushing her teeth Kate came up behind her and asked, "What about you?" - Their eyes met in the mirror. Juliet spit out the toothpaste, wiped her mouth - "Me what?" - She turned around to face Kate - who gave her a teasing shove to the side and then turned on the faucet. Juliet turned back around - they met eyes in the mirror again. "Ever kissed a girl?" - Kate began washing her face. Juliet crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. "You offering?" she smirked. Kate grabbed a towel. Before she could answer Juliet remarked, "Bad idea. You'd just cheat on me with my sister." Kate smiled into the towel - Juliet headed toward her bedroom, got into bed. When Kate got into bed Juliet said softly, "I'm not opposed to kissing girls, it just never happened." ... "Too busy kissing boys?" Kate joked. Juliet rolled onto her side to face Kate - who was already on her side facing Juliet. They didn't say anything - the silence swarmed with energy. There was very little space between them. Kate leaned over and gave Juliet a quick kiss on the lips, "Goodnight."
Juliet woke up, laying on her back - Kate's arm draped across her. As soon as she made the first move to get out of bed - Kate woke up. Kate was still tired and had no intention of getting up. Juliet started to move Kate's arm - Kate pinned her down with it, without lifting her head she groaned, "It's sunday and we have nothing to do except sleep." Juliet defended herself, "Maybe I was going to make you breakfast in bed..." - Although it sounded like something Juliet would do - Kate knew she was kidding. Juliet tried to get up again but Kate wouldn't budge. "You don't need me to keep sleeping." Juliet protested. What Kate wanted to say was, "I want you to stay." - What she actually said was, "... you're more comfortable than the pillow..." Juliet sighed. She didn't really want to get up. There were few places she'd rather be - but a part of her was restless. Did Kate actually kiss her? Did she dream it? Does Kate remember? She was making herself nervous. She pushed Kate over on her side and slid behind her. Maybe she could pretend to be asleep. Kate gently grabbed Juliet's wrist and maneuvered Juliet's arm over her.
They both fell asleep again and woke up to the ringing of Juliet's cell phone. It was a co-worker asking if Juliet could come in for a couple hours - she said yes. She got out of bed, looked at Kate, "I should be done around noon. Want to meet me at the park with lunch?" Kate gave a drowsy nod. Juliet took a quick shower and headed out. Kate lazed around the housed for a while. She called in an order for sushi and picked it up on the way to the park. They had met there before - so she set up the picnic in the usual spot near the top of the hill that overlooked Miami beach - and people watched while she waited for Juliet. The Miami heat seemed to never take a break - but the shade of the palm tree and a slight breeze held it at bay. There were people riding bikes. People walking dogs. People who appeared to simply be enjoying the ocean view. She could see Juliet approaching from a good distance away - the sunlight catching on her hair, making it glow a more brilliant shade of blonde. Kate smiled. She thought about the kiss. It was strange to Kate that it hadn't felt strange at all.
"You read my mind." Juliet said as she sat down on the blanket. They laughed about the events at the gay bar, enjoyed the sushi, talked about what they might fill their day with. During a pause in conversation Kate could tell Juliet was contemplating something, "What are you thinking about?", Kate inquired. Juliet half smiled. "Oh, just work." - She lied. She was thinking about Kate. A few minutes passed and Juliet weighed her options. She could ignore the nagging question of whether or not the kiss actually happened - or she could just ask. In an unexpected bout of confidence she turned to Kate, "Last night, right before we fell asleep..." - Kate understood now what Juliet's obvious non-work contemplation was about and interrupted her, "I kissed you." Juliet looked relieved. "I thought so. Guess I'm in the club now." - They laughed. They finished eating, packed up, and began the walk to the parking lot. They passed an ice cream cart, "Want some?" Kate asked. "Do you really have to ask?" Juliet raised an eyebrow. Juliet took the picnic supplies to the car while Kate got the ice cream. Juliet was sitting on the trunk, leaning back against the window. She sat up when she saw Kate - who handed her a cone. "Thanks." - Kate climbed up and joined her, then scooted over so they were touching. "You're welcome." Juliet rested her hand on the leg that was touching Kate's - Kate rested her hand on top of Juliet's. It seemed as normal as any two friends eating ice cream on any given sunny day - as comfortable as the breeze.
Juliet wanted to get to bed early because she worked the next day - Kate wasn't tired yet. She picked up a book she'd been meaning to start reading and sat on the couch in the living room while Juliet got ready for bed. Juliet came back out to the kitchen to prep the coffee maker for the morning. On her way to the bedroom she stopped behind the couch where Kate was sitting, put her hands on Kate's shoulders, "Goodnight." Kate tilted her head back, rested it on the top of the couch. She smiled, "Goodnight. See you in the morning." - Juliet leaned forward, "You don't have to get up when I do." Kate smirked. "How else can I eat the breakfast in bed you're going to make me if I'm not awake?" Juliet liked it when Kate was sarcastic. "Ha ... ha." - Juliet replied, then leaned down and kissed Kate on the forehead. "Goodnight Kate."
Kate went to bed about an hour later. When she pulled back the covers, Juliet rolled over. "Sorry." - Kate whispered as she climbed in, thinking she had woken Juliet up. "It's ok. I wasn't asleep." Kate was laying on her back. Juliet was facing her, her head propped up by her forearm and palm. "I think we can do better." Juliet said nonchalantly. Kate knew exactly what she was talking about. She turned her head to look at Juliet and gave a half serious half joking eyebrow raise in response. Juliet leaned toward her jokingly slow. Kate suddenly, but gently, reached behind Juliet's head and closed the gap between them. At first the kiss was more like an extended peck - but after getting used to the feeling of the others lips - it transformed. Neither of them knew who started using their tongue first - or exactly how it progressed to Juliet being on top of Kate - or how it was five minutes later and they were still kissing. Juliet pushed Kate's legs slightly apart with her knee - and they started moving their hips in synch with each other. She began kissing Kate's neck - Kate groaned softly.
When Juliet reached Kate's collarbone, her weak spot, it had the opposite effect that it normally does. The intense feeling snapped her out of her state of bliss. "Juliet." she whispered. Juliet stopped and pulled back a little. They smiled at each other for a minute - Juliet tucked back a rogue piece of Kate's hair. Kate had started to think this might not be the best idea but one thought lead to another - and Juliet looked so insanely adorable that Kate wanted to just enjoy the moment ... that quietly came to an end when Juliet rolled off of her. "'You're a good kisser." Juliet whispered toward the ceiling. "I know." Kate replied sarcastically. Juliet gave her a decently hard slap on her thigh. Kate laughed and grabbed Juliet's hand - laced their fingers together. They eventually fell asleep that way.
A couple weeks later they were people watching from their usual spot on the hill overlooking Miami beach. A sporty blonde in a bikini flashed by on roller blades. "How about her?" Kate nodded in the blond's direction. "Her?" Juliet scrunched her face. "What's wrong with her?" Kate questioned. "She's ok, I guess..." They were entertaining themselves with determining the others "type". Kate smiled and bumped Juliet's shoulder with her own, "Maybe you prefer brunettes..." - Juliet turned toward Kate and gave her a teasing glare. Nothing more had happened between them since ... 'that one night' - except for the usual cuddling, the occasional hand holding, a 'friendly' peck here and there. But still - they felt like a couple, who weren't really a couple, who sometimes acted like one - even if they didn't admit it to the other. It could be complicated, but somehow it wasn't. "How about him?" Juliet was looking at a surfer type who was surveying the beach. Before Kate could respond Juliet added, "Totally my type." Kate looked him up and down then looked at Juliet who might as well have been drooling.
Kate suddenly felt uneasy. What was going between her and Juliet? How had it lasted this long? Why was she still in Miami? What in the world was she going to do with her life? She didn't want Juliet to know that she was slightly panicking - so she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a second. "He's hot." - she finally replied. They sat in silence for a bit. Nearing out of left field Juliet stated softly, "I don't have any expectations for us." She continued to look toward the beach, her demeanor was calm. When Kate didn't say anything, Juliet turned towards her, "I mean, whatever this is...", she motioned back and forth between them, "...is great. And I don't want it to stop..." - she smiled, "I just ... - if you're interested in seeing someone..." She might be the most adorable person on the planet, Kate thought. A long cry from Kate's first impression of her on the island. Strange how people change once you get to know them - strange how they met in the first place - strange, everything. Kate stood up. "I'll be right back." Juliet was puzzled - then - as she watched Kate get closer and closer to the beach she realized what Kate was doing. Kate came back up, sat down, and handed Juliet a piece of paper. "He likes blonds."
Kate determined that Juliet and Logan...or "surfer boy", as Kate liked to call him, were officially "dating" after their fourth date. "We're not dating." Juliet gave Kate a half glare, half smirk. They were eating take-out, sitting on the couch, and drinking beer in their pajamas. "What about you and ... what's his name, from the bar?" Kate laughed. She went out with Rachel the week before and met a guy who wouldn't back down until she accepted his number. She called him the next night when Juliet was out late, then later. "We have nothing in common. I just went out with him to be nice." Juliet finished her drink and got up to put away the left overs. She grabbed more beer on the way back to the couch. When she sat back down - Kate swiveled around and put her legs across Juliet's lap. Juliet handed a beer to Kate. "Have you slept with him yet?" - Juliet tried to ignore the question by bringing up something about Rachel and Julian. Kate stared at her until she answered. "No, I haven't slept with him." Her tone was dry.
It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about him any more - so Kate changed the subject. "I'm thinking about going back to LA. Clementine's birthday is coming up and Cassidy keeps asking if I'll be there..." There was a cloud of tension hanging around, making them feel anxious - but neither knew completely why that was. "Yeah. You should go." They both took a drink, faster than normal. An hour later they were mostly drunk - the cloud was dwindling away. They turned on some ridiculous late night movie and made fun of it. After Kate discovered they were out of beer and returned to the couch - she found Juliet laying on her back, propped up by a few cushions. Kate sat down between Juliet's legs and leaned back against her. Juliet rested her chin on top of Kate's head, "Your hair smells good." Kate snickered. "It's your shampoo." Juliet smiled and rested her arms across Kate's lap.
Kate decided to fly to LA instead of driving. They night before her departure she met Juliet, Rachel, and Logan for dinner and drinks. Kate hadn't spent much time with Logan, who seemed to be mostly interested in drinking his gin and tonic, but he'd occasionally say something witty - everyone seemed to be getting along. By the time Rachel needed to leave to relieve Julian's babysitter, Logan was slurring, Kate wasn't far off - and since Juliet had to drive Rachel home, she was sober and laughing at both of them. Kate and Logan were left to themselves. "So you met Juliet in college?" - Kate was confused for a second. "Oh, yeah - college. She was a ... graduate student." Kate was worried that sounded more like a question than a statement. They talked about loving the beach as kids, climbing trees, and other random topics. Kate was surprised the conversation flowed so easily. When Juliet returned she found them at the jukebox - comparing musical tastes. They both liked DriveShaft.
Kate almost let it slip that she knew Charlie - but Juliet interrupted her. "Want to dance?" - Kate couldn't tell tell if she was asking her or him. Juliet and Logan danced for a song - and then Juliet led him back over to Kate. "I can't keep up with him." She panted. Logan grabbed Kate by the wrist and pulled her out to the unofficial dance floor. Juliet sat down and watched. They were both terrible dancers - which was the only reason Juliet agreed to dance with both of them when they caught her on her way to get a drink. One dance became a few dances - that became Logan and Juliet kissing, that somehow moved on to Logan and Kate kissing - that lead Juliet to ignore Kate's calls on her long, confused, drive home.
Kate took a taxi. She was drunk, embarrassed - and nervous. Did that actually just happen? How could she have let it happen? Her stomach hurt - her head hurt - and she felt devastatingly, alone. Juliet's bedroom light was still on when she got home - but she didn't dare bother her. For the first time, in what suddenly seemed like a very long time, Kate slept in the guest bed - or rather, didn't sleep. Her eyes were closed - but she was awake when Juliet came in not long after sunrise. She got in bed, pushed Kate onto her side, and slid behind her. Kate wanted to say something first - but couldn't get anything out. Her palms were sweating. Why wasn't Juliet saying anything? She could feel Juliet breathing - could almost hear her thinking, she could at least imagine ... ((How could you do this? Don't bother coming back after LA. FUCK YOU.)) "Do you need me to take you to the airport?" Juliet whispered near Kate's ear. It took a minute for Kate to be able to respond.
She was thinking about the night at the hotel - about the connection that she was pretty sure they both felt. She turned over to face Juliet - whose eyes looked cloudy, almost more gray than blue. Kate could tell she hadn't slept enough. "I'm sorry..." Juliet scooted back. "I know you are." She took a deep breath. "If you don't need me to give you a ride I'm going to leave in a bit..." Kate didn't want her to feel obligated. "I can take a taxi." Juliet felt ... mostly - numb. She nodded, got out of bed, and started to leave the room. Kate jumped up, "Juliet." - Juliet stopped and turned around, crossed her arms. "Kate." Kate approached her, hesitantly - having no idea what to say. They stared at each other. "Bye." Kate said cautiously. Juliet casually stepped towards Kate and cupped her face - her thumbs rested against Kate's lips. She looked Kate in the eye, then glanced down at her thumbs - "Bye." She turned around and left. Kate laid back down, shut her eyes - and listened to the gravel kick up and tumble as Juliet drove away.
Kate stayed in LA for longer than she originally planned - approaching three weeks. Cassidy enjoyed having her company - and visa versa. But Cassidy wasn't ... Juliet. She had only spoken to Juliet once, about a week after she arrived. Just a quick call - Juliet wanted to know that Kate arrived safely. Juliet called it off with Logan - who, like Kate, was genuinely apologetic. She lied to Kate. She had slept with him. She slept with him - then left to sleep in her own bed. She had liked Logan - and vice versa. But Logan wasn't ... Kate. The more time that passed, that they didn't talk, the more Juliet wished she could just let go of trying to figure it all out. Kate assumed that Juliet didn't want to talk to her. She had to go back to Miami eventually to at least get her car - but she had no plans beyond that, no ideas about what to do about anything.
She arrived in Miami in the early evening and took a taxi to Juliet's. They had text earlier about how Juliet was working later than usual, maybe Kate could order pizza. Sitting around Juliet's house was making her more nervous than she already was - so she picked up the pizza to give herself something to do. She was just about to open a third beer when she heard the front door open. She froze for a second - her breath caught in her throat. Juliet went straight into her bedroom - probably changing, Kate thought. A few minutes later Juliet came into the kitchen. She stopped just past the doorway when she saw Kate. She leaned her shoulder and the side of her forehead against the refrigerator, crossed her arms - "Hi, Kate." Kate smiled, opened her third beer - and held it out toward Juliet. "Hi." Juliet stepped forward, took the beer, and sat it back on the counter. Kate took a long breath. Juliet surprised her - immensely - when she pulled her into an embrace. Kate wanted Juliet to know the truth, "I missed you." She squeezed tighter. Juliet pulled back and looked at Kate with those sky blue eyes - "I missed you too."