So, here's another very short Myrnin ramble by me. I got the idea when I ate a plum the other day... It was delicious. I recommend everybody go and eat plums. And of course, why wouldn't Myrnin love fruit? It's such a simple topic, and I just had to write it. So I hope it's humorous to you. Please review it when you're done, and make me happy :)
I like fruit. It's so fruitful. There's something about all types of it- maybe it's the natural sweetness, or the bright coloration, but there is definitely something going on with the fruit.
I dislike when it rots. Like for instance when I plan to eat it on a certain day, sometimes forget, and then it goes bad. The sweetness is no longer sweet, but more bitter. Like drinking from a lawyer. The taste of a good apple gone bad. Eughh.
I also enjoy books about fruit. Although, those are more about planting and caring for them than eating or talking about them. It's tough trying to find a good book about a fruit with a mission. Something to do in the world. A story with a plot. I have no interest in growing fruit. Growing fruit is only good for part of the year, then the ground freezes and nothing grows. But if Amelie would just give me a greenhouse, that problem could be solved. And yet, she remains adamant.
A few months ago I became a member of the Fruit of the Month Club…. Still haven't received any fruit from them. Maybe someone is stopping them from sending their fruit-filled baskets into Morganville. Like Amelie. Or Oliver. Could Oliver be stealing my fruit? It would make sense. He has smelled like rotting fruit recently. And he's been very silent and secretive around me, too. I have no doubt in my mind that Oliver is stealing my fruit. I will have to speak to him later.
One book I read- that I thought would be about fruit- and made me angry was The Grapes of Wrath. The title had two things I like: Grapes, and Wrath. But it wasn't about fruit at all! Well, except for the part about the peaches. But even then it was being let to rot, instead of being picked. All of those people were being used for little reward. The title was severely misleading. And yeah, I guess it is symbolic, but I want real grapes. Grapes with lives, grapes with a purpose.
If there were no use for grapes, it could have just as easily been entitled something else. Like "Pineapples of Mercy" or "Bananas of Pleasure" or "Plums of Solitude," or even "Mangoes of Joviality." Like William Shakespeare once said, something about names- and then some other stuff.
I wish I could be a fruit. To be able to spread my seed across the land- that is my dream. Probably a tree fruit so I can get a nice view. Something like- a banana because I'm so tall or a coconut because of my hard head. But if I want to be a fruit, then it has to be after I'm done being a vampire. Because sun would not do good with my growing and ripening if I'm bursting into flames and turning into ash.
But wait. If I'm fruit, then I won't be able to eat fruit. Fruits don't have mouths. And if I ate fruit while I was fruit, it would be like cannibalism. Or genocide, if I ate several other types of fruit at one time, which I am known to do. What a predicament. I guess I'll just have to be a fruit-eating vampire for the rest of my days. If only I could survive on fruit, instead of humans.
I had a delicious plum the other day. It had been years since I had a plum. So juicy and purple. I like purple. They may now be my favorite fruit.
"Samuel," I call, and the ginger pokes his head around the corner; he was in the other room. Watching me, I think, although I'm not sure why. "Please go to the market and buy me a nice bushel of apples and some plums."
"Myrnin, it's the middle of the day. And Amelie said that I wasn't to leave you alone," he replies, disdain on his face. I hope he wipes it off. Not good for the complexion.
"Oh, come on you kumquat. I just want some apples. You can trust me alone for a while." Mmm kumquats, I should get some of those too. And maybe some papaya. Tropical fruit is the best.
"Myrnin," Samuel's voice and face serious, "No. If you want apples, we can go after the sun goes down. Together. I'm not leaving you right now for something as trivial as apples."
Ugh. Sam just doesn't understand my need for fruit. No- not my need; my passion. I give him an I'm-angry-at-you-now look and he rolls his eyes and leaves the room. I look at the clock- ten in the morning. Damn. I hope my pears will last until the sun goes down. If not, I blame Samuel. And Oliver.
... Because who else would he blame? Sorry for the kinda fast ending, with almost no point. Please review, it is much appreciated.