oh.
Oh.
OH. Holy shit.
I like him.
No, no, no. Don't want to. I refuse. Not him. He's a guy. No, just yes. What?!
I meant no...I wanted to mean no?
Calm, stay calm, you're not even sure what you mean.
We're just regular best friends hanging out, playing video games, very close, in the dark...
This is impossible. I mean he doesn't- and I'm not, but I am, aren't I?
There has already been five years since he moved in next door, one year of begrudging hate and three years of the best (and only lasting) friendship I've had.
That's like an eternity in teen years and after all that time, I didn't even realize it until tonight.
To think all it took was an unattractive gigglesnort and an unnoticed brush of skin.
Five years.
I want to die. I really am an idiot. Why him and why now?
Please someone, let me run and hide for rest of eternity.
Except, heroes don't run.
Right.
...but heroes don't fall in love with their very male best friends/side-kicks either. I don't care what internet says, it's wrong. Doesn't happen... except it did. FUCK.
Dear god, why doesn't he just notice that he's touching me? I can't draw away now, that'd be weird. He has enough issues as it is. I don't want to make things worse.
Oh fuck, oh no, he's looking straight at me. Oh sh*t, oh no. His lips are moving, no fuck fuck fuck DON'T do that, don't wet your lips, no, just don't go there. Wait, can't stare at his lips, straight men don't stare at other men's lips.
No no no, bad idea. His eyes, green, too green and they're mad. Maybe I could just... No Al focus, not the time to tease. Okay, eyebrows... Fluffy. No just no, bad idea. Back to the lips. Ugh this isn't working, there are no safe options dammit!
Ouick, think Alfred, come on, what did he say? Oh my god he smells so good, not fair. Ah, no, he's too close. Quick make an excuse, say something, just do something!
''Your eyebrows look like fluffy caterpillars...''
Anything but that.
''… THAT'S why you were spacing out on me? Tsk, of all the poor excuses … Come to think of it though, you sure you're alright? You ARE acting more of a wanker than usual.''
Ooooh no, he's using the pissy voice. Careful Alfred, don't want to start a fight. If you just get through this evening without blurting out anything stupid. Just this once. Think about what's at stake. Come on, hero mode activate.
'' Ha. Ha. ha. I don't know what you're talking about Iggy. Your eyebrows are always distracting.''
Wait no, what?! Oh my god, what if he takes that the wrong way and realizes...
''What the hell are you implying?!'''
Abort, abort mission.
''Hey don't blame blame me because your eyebrows are so weird that people can't take you seriously.''
No, why? Oh god why? Try again, again!
'' … but, I mean, it's not like they're completely unattractive, they can sort of look like dirty clouds or like really weird black eyes if you squint.''
… I don't even have an excuse this time. Wow, just, can I just die now?
He's leaving. No. No. That would solve the problem, but I don't want him too!
Come back! Fight me! ...Just don't let me get to you.
''Iggy, that was not... I mean I, fuck. Just wait! STOP!''
'' Look, I don't have to take this and I won't. I'm not going to waste my time fighting with some idiot, even if that idiot happens to be my best friend. You know, eh, ah, If, if somehting really IS bothering you though, you know you could always talk to me about it...''
He'd do that for me? That's... Stop that thought NOW.
''Nice try Iggy, but I'm not like you. I can handle things by myself perfectly fine without crying like an over emotional teenage girl, you know?''
I'm sorry, so sorry, please, please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I love you. It's too soon, I can't say it, not yet.
''… That's it. I don't even care anymore, forget what I just said. You can handle your own bloody problems if you want to so badly.''
I hate you door, you traitor. Why couldn't you have been locked?
Why did you let him leave like that?
...Why did I?
It hurts. Everything hurts. I bet he hurts too.
God. What have I done?
''Arthur''
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Please come back.
Maybe I can tell you then. Hopefully. No definitely.
… One day.