Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did there would be no Blaine plus Kurt and Finn would be together.
Finn had never expected to be gathered inside a church for a service for Kurt. He'd always been so adamantly anti-Christian which at times could be a bad thing. Their wedding only a year or so ago had been held in a registry office, he'd fought for hours for the right to actually decorate the room. Finn could remember walking into the kitchen just after waking up to hear him snapping down the phone that just because the church wasn't the right type of service for them, that didn't mean they had no right to have a decorated service. He'd often gathered him into his arms after he'd put the phone down with a huff and smothered his face in kisses. The day the office had finally given in Kurt had smothered him in kisses instead as he went on about color schemes and flowers. He hadn't seemed so excited in a while.
He guessed it was just hard for him to look on the bright side sometimes, considering he had cancer only it had been diagnosed too late to do anything. Breast cancer, like his mother had died of. It was typical, only 1% of men ever contracted it though it was hereditary and yet Kurt had it.
He really was one in a million Kurt had joked once he'd grown too weak to really do anything.
And now here Finn was, sitting inside the church as some priest who didn't even know him prattled on about death and how he was going to a better place. If Kurt was here he'd be snorting and making snide comments about how there isn't a god and even if there was, he probably wouldn't be meeting him anytime soon anyway.
But Finn hadn't known what to do so he'd turned to Mercedes and Quinn for help. They'd organized it, reassuring him that Kurt would be fine with it because at least he was the center of attention. Finn had put his foot down about a few things. There would be no hymns for one thing but...he would be singing soon.
The priest had stopped speaking for a moment and was calling his name. It was his time to make a speech. He got up slowly, not wanting to share his most precious thoughts and memories even with their family and friends. But he had to. For Kurt. He took a deep breath.
"Kurt...was the most amazing man I had the fortune to meet. He was my brother, he was my best friend and most importantly, he was the love of my life. We may not have always had the best relationship, I hurt him and he hurt me. That was just how it went but when it came down to it...he also loved me more then anyone. He made me a better person...it sounds stupid but it's true. He was perfect, talented, sweet and amazing. He always knew how to make things better and..."
He could feel the tears forming as the words escaped his tongue, his body shaking slightly as he started to sob. Memories of lazy days together in bed, of tickle fights and wrestling matches over the remote, of their senior prom where they'd first kissed and their graduation when they'd first had sex. College years may have mainly been spent apart but the only times he could really remember were their visits home, the secret smiles and probing questions as they stepped around each other as they made sure the other still wanted each other. Memories of the picnic in the park when they'd gotten together, of moving to New York together, from shows and bars to work outings and rainy days inside.
They'd had it all and now he was just gone.
"And I'm going to miss him. Miss him with all my heart and my soul and I won't say I won't ever move on because he wouldn't that. But...I'll always love him, no matter how far away I am and how long ago this was because...when you're in love with Kurt Hummel, you don't ever get over him. And...if there really is a god up in heaven, which I know he'd laugh about...I just...want to tell you Kurt that...I miss you baby and I really wish I could bring you back somehow because...I don't know how I'm going to go on without you."
Finn took another deep breath as he lifted a shaking hand to wipe his eyes. He could see Burt and his mom holding each other as they cried, Mercedes and Rachel were covering their eyes as they sobbed. Even Karofsky had shed a few tears...he and Kurt had grown to become good friends to everyone's surprise. But no one had expected him to turn up to the funeral.
He sighed before he turned to the old boombox next to him and pressing play. The music started and he shut his eyes as he started to sing:
"Hey there now
Where'd you go
You left me here so unexpected
You changed my life
I hope you know
Cause now I'm lost
So unprotected
In a blink of an eye
I never got to say goodbye
Like a shooting star
Flyin' across the room
So fast so far
You were gone too soon
You're part of me
And I'll never be
The same here without you
You were gone too soon
You were always there
And like shining light
On my darkest days
You were there to guide me
Oh I miss you now
I wish you could see
Just how much your memory
Will always mean to me.."
As the music carried on, Finn was unable to stop the flow of tears any more as he broke down into tears. Carole pulled herself away from her husband as she rushed over to her son's side and started to lead him away, cradling his head against her chest as they sat down.
The service packed up quietly after that, people leaving the grieving family alone. If Kurt could have seen this he would have been in tears himself but...at least he would have known how much he meant to Finn. At least Finn wouldn't have been alone now.
Instead he had to stand and watch as they lowered the casket into the ground as he whispered his last goodbyes.
Kurt was gone forever and Finn wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to cope with that.
Finn-
Had to go to the hospital. I want to see if there's anymore drugs they can give me since I've been feeling worse. Dad's taking me so don't worry.
I'll see you soon.
All my love.
Kurt.