Blackbird
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N- My first RENT fic. However, it's not my first fic. Consider this my first different fandom fic…
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Take these broken wings and learn to fly…
"Blackbird"- Beatles
Was I upset when my Angel died? Yes. I was. She was my shelter from the storm. The only one that could perk me up from a bad day. Was I sad? No. That is an entirely different story.
Angel was my Blackbird. Her broken wings kept her tethered to this earth. She kept us happy. However, when the time came, I was glad she was able to relearn to fly. So few people get to keep their wings, broken or not, and so few relearn to fly.
There were times I called her my Blackbird, especially toward the end. When things seemed they're worst, I would take her hand and quietly whisper, Blackbird, begin learning how to fly. I'm not sure if she understood. The human mind is so complex. All I could do was hold her and hope she understood.
I never called her he. It just never felt right. Mark used to subconsciously slip up. Even Mimi, the most understanding of them all, occasionally slipped up. Hell, it was difficult not to. However, I never did. Even when we were fighting, which was quite rare, I would never slip up.
My Angel died in my arms. I knew the end was coming but didn't want to admit it. Then, I realized something. Her wings were finally healed. The tether that had held her to this earth was finally broken. Why was I fighting the inevitable? Why did I want to repair her tether to keep her tied to this world?
They tell me there is no way she spoke in the moments before her death. He wasn't lucid enough. It's impossible. I know she spoke to me. I heard her. I am not insane.
Her final words were… I learned to fly.
If I ever need affirmation that she had learned to fly, it was that simple line.
The day she, he, no, she died, I was miserable. Nothing made sense. How could God be so cruel? How could I find such love only to lose it so cruelly? Nothing made sense anymore. Not that it had ever made much sense in the first place…
Some days are better than others. Since her funeral, I can't bear to visit her grave. It's an empty nest. She's there but she's not. Only her tether is there, forever snapped.
Now it is my turn to learn to fly.
I am getting sicker. As much as they try to call me a Pessimist, I feel it. Mark tells me I'm insane. Joanne and Maureen refuse to believe it. Roger turns his head as soon as I mention it. Mimi is the only one who will listen to me. She takes me by the hand and tells it will soon be my time to fly.
As much as I hate to admit it, I need to be in the hospital. Even if they couldn't help me, they could make me comfortable. It's not easy going around in pain. Mouth sores make it impossible for me to eat; Every breath I take makes my chest ache in agony; I had two seizures last night. From what they tell me, I almost sent Maureen into labor.
I never meant to scare her.
That is how I end up where I am now. Surrounded by my friends, no, family except Maureen and Joanne. They just couldn't miss Lamaze class; Joanne had been booked the instructor months in advance. Maureen had promised me they would be there as soon as possible with a special announcement.
Mimi asks how I'm feeling. Rewetting the towel on my forehead, she waits for the answer. What can I tell her? I don't want to tell her the truth; I am waiting for my tether to break.
Then, Maureen, hugely pregnant, bursts in. Joanne is behind her, carrying what appears to be a burlap sack, stretched almost to bursting. Under her breath, I hear Maureen mumbling to Joanne. The only words I can make out are Pookie, anal retentive and carrying half of New York in that sack.
For the first time, I began drifting in and out of conscious. My tether's beginning to snap. I only hope it will stay together long enough to hear what Maureen and Joanne have to say. I can sense it is important.
Our baby will be named Angel after Our Angel and since she is a true miracle. What about her middle name? Collins we want you to choose, if you can…
Just before the few lines of leather snap, I manage to utter a single word.
Blackbird
As my tether snaps, I feel as if I am flying through the world.
Finally, I have spread my wings and learned to fly…
Fin