Okay, this is my very first SVU fan fiction. My friend, Tommys My 21 , introduced me to the show. I haven't seen all of the episodes, but I've seen enough to know I want Elliot and Olivia to get married and have some babies and live happily ever after. (Oh and Kathy? Well let's just I want her to "disappear") So here I am, writing an E/O fan fiction. The lyrics below are from the song "All Or Nothing" by O-Town, and I think it fits this fan fiction perfectly. This chapter is in Olivia's POV. The next chapter will be in Kathy's POV. I will be doing this with every chapter, switching back and forth on POVs. I promise the future chapters will be longer.
All Or Nothing
Chapter One: Ultimatum
"I've had the rest of you, now I want the best of you. I don't care if that's not fair. Cause I want it all, or nothing at all. There's nowhere left to fall, when you reach the bottom it's now or never."
I don't know when or how it happened. But one day it did. One day, I became "the other woman". I told myself I wouldn't sink this low just to be with him. How can I do this to Kathy? Mind you, she's not my favorite person in the world, but it's wrong. For crying out loud, the man has a wife and children! What the hell am I doing?
I know what you're thinking. Home wrecker. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Or maybe you think I'm one of those women who need a man. I'm really not, though. I'm pretty dependent. You kind of have to be when you're in my career path. Not to mention, after living the life I have. Believe it or not, I just lost it. I lost my self-control and he was there. He offered his love up to me, the love we both know has always been there, and I couldn't push it away; I couldn't push him away.
Someone told me, it's dumb to play the role of the other woman. Not only are you hurting the wife, but you're hurting yourself. They said, that even if he chooses you, there's nothing stopping him from cheating on you.
They were right. But for some reason, here I am in my bedroom, looking up at the white ceiling. I expect it to cave in and punish me for my sins. The guilt is so heavy, but the pleasure so great.
I feel him wrap his arms around me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I feel so sick with myself that I could throw up. Maybe if I did that, I could rid myself of whatever sickness it is that I have. Whatever it is that is wrong inside me that is making me do this.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
I turn around and look at him. I muster up the fakest smile I can and say, "Nothing at all".
My heart is breaking inside. I hate lying to him. I want to tell him how wrong what we're doing is. But he already knows this. I know it's tearing him up inside and breaking his faith, not only his faith to his wife, but to God. He seems so happy here right now, but he's just like me. He's broken. He's tainted. He's confused and lost.
What have we done to ourselves?
"Liv, tell me, what is it?" he asks. "I can see it in your eyes. You have that distant look again. It's like you're somewhere else."
I want to tell him. I want so badly to. But even more, I don't want to hurt him anymore than he is.
His cell phone rings. I watch him wrap the sheet around his naked body and grab the phone. "Kathy?" he says. "Yeah, sorry. I just got caught up here at work. I'll be home as soon as possible."
My stomach does flips inside me. Kathy's little phone calls ruin everything. She reminds me every time, without even knowing it, that Elliot is not mine. He will never be mine. He belongs to her.
"Okay, yeah. I'll pick some up on my way home. Love you," He turns off the phone and starts getting dressed.
Love you. Love you. Love you. Why did he have to say that? And here? He swears its not true, but that's hard to believe when he is rushing to get dressed just so he can see her. He could've lied. He could've said he still had work to do. He could've came back in bed and kissed me until I fell asleep. Then leave me.
"Sorry," he says, "I got to go."
"Goodbye," I say. I wait for him to say that he loves me, but he doesn't. He is in such a hurry. And as his hands reach the doorknob, a bitter side of me escapes. "Tell Kathy hi for me." I say in sarcastic, bitter tone of voice.
He lets go of the door knob. "That was uncalled for." He says it a voice so strong and commanding, like he is some god floating high above me.
My eyes break and I feel even worse. "Sorry," I say, "I just don't know how much longer I can do this, Elliot."
"I told you. I can't divorce her." He leans his head down and rubs his forehead. "Trust me, I want to. But I don't know how much more these kids can handle."
"I don't know how much more I can handle."
And there it was. The ultimatum of a lifetime. Who do you choose? Who do you want? No, my eyes aren't asking him to give up his kids, but they are begging him to stay away unless I can have all of him.
Reviews? Let me know how I'm doing :)