Angela's Dismay
A/N: Don't flame. Please don't flame!
Angela sat in her room, huddled into a little ball. How long had it been? Three days? Ah...how light she felt. Almost like a feather, so light....so thin....
'No, not yet.' She thought to herself, 'I'm not thin yet......I need to get thinner.' She told herself, over and over, like a broken record inside her head. Then, she began to laugh. It wasn't happy, rather maniacal and hungry. It almost sounded like crying, but not quite. She uncurled herself and went over to her mirror. It had been easy to see her ribs before she had begun, but now, she didn't even have to suck it in to see them. Her form had also become less shapely, and for the first time in her life, she loved it.
* * *
"Princess Angela! Come on! It's time for dinner!" Rang Victor's voice through the garden. Angela turned around from tending the roses to see Victor's handsome and innocent face. He was so lovable, and he almost made her forget about her goal.
Almost.
"Um...actually Victor I had a huge lunch!" Angela replied quickly, making up an excuse. Victor blinked and smiled slightly.
"Well, if you're sure..." he said, and Angela swore she heard a tone of discomfort in his voice. She nodded.
"Positive. I'm still full!" she exclaimed energetically and Victor nodded and walked away. She watched him leave, seeing other nobles of the castle heading towards the dining room. She was so absorbed in her disgust that anyone would want to eat that she didn't hear the soft clunking of boots behind her. She shrugged and turned back to her roses. Then she heard him.
"Keep it up Angela, and they'll name a bench after you." He taunted. Angela grimaced and looked up to see Koren's smirking face.
"Shut it mop top." She snarled back, making Koren's expression change from being smug to annoyed.
"Aren't you eating? Or is this some new miracle diet you're on?" he teased again. Angela felt the rage boil up in her, and she exploded.
"Just get the hell away from me Koren!!" she screamed, standing up. She wasn't even close to his height, but she didn't care. Her anger fueled her. Koren laughed and held his hands up sarcastically.
"Sorry, sorry, my what a temper we have!" He laughed again, mocking her, and strode off to the dining hall. Angela threw down her trowel in disgust.
'I hate you Koren.....I hate you so much........'
* * *
Another day. Another pound.
Another two days. Another two pounds.
Angela had cut back so much on eating that even the smell of food made her gag. Whenever she felt like she was going to faint, she just gulped down some water and curled into a little ball, remembering how thin, how perfect, she wanted to be. It was also obvious to everyone else that she was getting thinner, so she began to wear extra clothing, leggings under pants and extra large sweaters. No one could know....absolutely no one. But Victor kept pestering her, asking her why she was being so secretive and avoiding meals. Angela had to keep making up excuses, each more feeble than the last, and she knew that sooner or later he was going to realize what she was really doing.
Another day. Another pound.
Another two days. Another two pounds.
Now the maids were getting worried. They tried to catch her before dinner, but Angela would run off and hide in the gardens or behind a fountain in the courtyard so they wouldn't find her. At least Angela didn't have to worry about her mother being terrified of the truth. Her mother certainly couldn't care if Angela died or not, Angela thought that she never did care. Never embracing, scolding, even looking at her....Angela began to feel so lonely. If it wasn't for Victor, she would have done something even more rash then this. No...this wasn't to grab attention from her mother, it was the desire to be perfect that drove Angela into the slow suicide.
Another day. Another pound.
Another three days. Another three pounds.
* * *
Angela tiptoed quietly down the stairs. It was way past midnight, she knew that. She looked up and down the corridor, and began to walk to the right to the exercise rooms for the soldiers. She went over to a exercise bike, her favorite machine, and began to pedal quietly. Just an hour of this helped out so much in her plan. She was almost there....just another fifteen pounds, and she'd be down to 85, her goal.
"What are you doing Princess?!?" the call rang out like a shotgun in the empty room. Angela whipped her head around to find Victor in the doorway, his eyes wide.
"Just......um....." Angela searched her mind for a good excuse, but she knew there was none this time. Victor's breath became short and choppy.
"I knew it! You were getting thinner and thinner....I knew it....I should've known it...you're DIETING!!" he concluded dramatically, pointing a finger at Angela. The princess blinked.
"You look fine already Princess don't worry. But, if you like to exercise late at night, that's okay too. Well, goodnight." He waved, and left to go back to his room. Angela stared at the empty doorway.
'Sometimes Victor.....I'm glad you have those random blond moments.....' Angela thought in a silent prayer of thanks. With that, she continued to pedal.
Another day. Another pound.
* * *
Angela had reached a breaking point.
Her heart was beginning to speed up for no reason, and she felt so overwhelmed by it that she had to lay down. And not even water was helping curb her hunger, as she was beginning to not even keep that down. Her eyes had become sunken in and she looked so different from the youthful, beautiful princess she once was. And Angela began to worry.
She had to stop. She told herself that, but another little voice in her head screamed at her to continue. Her knees and elbow joints would ache so much after the late night exercise that she would sleep later than intended. Even though Victor had blown it off as a simple "dieting" phase, he now seemed to be thinking the same thing as everyone else; Angela was starving herself.
She fought her will every minute of everyday. But it was far too strong for Angela's body to cooperate with her growing fear. Her will to become perfect suddenly overpowered her entire body, and she continued her dreadful routine like a zombie, dead on her feet. But the fear inside her still remained, the one nagging thought that sometimes screeched at her during her exercise or when she spent her time huddled in her room; you're dying Angela. You're killing yourself.
Another five days. Another five pounds.
* * *
Angela crept down stairs once more to her nightly exercise torture. She had reached the door, and she saw a tall, sweeping black shadow standing in front of it. Ominous, it leered at her in the dark, and Angela could make out the shaggy, golden hair framing the youthful face.
"Follow me Angela." Koren said sternly, and turned down the hallway. He had scared Angela so much that she stood there, her heart beating so fast.....
"I can hear your heart from over here Angela, now COME ON!" he shouted, and Angela dashed forward to meet him. They walked down several flights of stairs together, Koren slightly ahead and Angela following, her head bowed down to her once voluptuous chest, now nearly flat as a wall. He led her down into a parlor-like room, heavily decorated with tapestries and rather pricey looking furniture. He waved his hand at the fireplace and the wood burst into flames. Angela jumped slightly, she still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Koren could use magic now. He then turned his hand to her, and Angela squeezed her eyes shut. When nothing happened, she turned around and saw that he was pointing to an armchair behind her.
"Sit." He ordered, and Angela quickly obeyed. He took one across from her and shifted so he became comfortable. Angela wringed her wrists nervously while Koren just stared at her. She looked into his eyes and for the first time in a long, long time she saw an emotion in his eyes she had missed. Not mockery, not a glint of mischief.
But concern.
"I know what you're doing Angela, even if the others won't accept it." He proclaimed, a tone of deep, deep seriousness that Angela had not heard in quite some time, "you know it too. Say it."
"What?" Angela finally spoke up, and Koren leered at her.
"Say it. Say what you know."
Angela paused for a long while. She had to say it, what she already knew inside her head since the day the hell began.
".........I have an eating disorder. I'm anorexic!" she yelled, and burst into tears. Koren nodded.
"You have to accept it as well. Then, you need to focus on recovery." He explained gently, and Angela looked up, tears flowing down her face and even more welling in her eyes.
"How come you know so much Koren?" she asked innocently and Koren's eyes suddenly became wide. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Angela pressed forward, trying to make eye contact. He took a deep breath and let it out.
"....I was once bulimic. I don't know what made me do it. Just, something inside of me telling me I was useless and not worth anyone's time. So, I started to.....y'know......throw up after every meal. It was like some kind of ecstasy joy that flowed through my body when I did. But then I realized what was happening and...." He paused, and gulped, "....and I'm lucky to still be alive." Angela stared. Koren? Perfect Koren? The center of attention of the entire kingdom once had an eating disorder?
".....I'm scared. Koren.....I want help, but half of me is telling me to continue on with it. And that side is more convincing then the other side that tells me it's wrong and I...." The princess stopped and began to cry again. Koren sighed heavily.
"It was like that with me too. But, you have to try Angela. You're going to die if you keep this up..." Angela looked up abruptly.
".....just nine more pounds Koren....."
"No!" Koren roared, and jumped out of his hair. He placed his hands on Angela's armchair's armrests and stared into her eyes, "Nine more pounds and you'll be DEAD Angela. You'll be dead unless-you-stop." He said, making his voice clear. Angela began to cry harder, throwing her arms around Koren.
"I don't want to die.....but I can't stop Koren.......help me...please." She sobbed. Koren didn't embrace back but he placed a hand on Angela's head.
"Alright, I'll help. But there's one more person you need to tell." He stated, and Angela looked up.
"Who?"
"Victor."
"NO!" Angela wailed again and buried her face into Koren's chest, "Not Victor...he'll hate me!"
"No...No I won't Princess!" Angela quickly turned and saw Victor in the doorway. He smiled comfortably, "I'll help you too." Angela slipped past Koren and ran over to Victor. They embraced and kissed, and for the first time since she started, she began to think she could get over this.
She knew she could get over this.
Okay! I'm stopping it there. Yeah, Angela gets better, duh. Sorry for the angsty stuff, and the huge secret that Koren was bulimic, if it bothered you. Maybe I'll make Koren's side of the story, like his experiences with his eating disorder. I know this was short, but please review if you liked it! And don't flame please......
A/N: Don't flame. Please don't flame!
Angela sat in her room, huddled into a little ball. How long had it been? Three days? Ah...how light she felt. Almost like a feather, so light....so thin....
'No, not yet.' She thought to herself, 'I'm not thin yet......I need to get thinner.' She told herself, over and over, like a broken record inside her head. Then, she began to laugh. It wasn't happy, rather maniacal and hungry. It almost sounded like crying, but not quite. She uncurled herself and went over to her mirror. It had been easy to see her ribs before she had begun, but now, she didn't even have to suck it in to see them. Her form had also become less shapely, and for the first time in her life, she loved it.
* * *
"Princess Angela! Come on! It's time for dinner!" Rang Victor's voice through the garden. Angela turned around from tending the roses to see Victor's handsome and innocent face. He was so lovable, and he almost made her forget about her goal.
Almost.
"Um...actually Victor I had a huge lunch!" Angela replied quickly, making up an excuse. Victor blinked and smiled slightly.
"Well, if you're sure..." he said, and Angela swore she heard a tone of discomfort in his voice. She nodded.
"Positive. I'm still full!" she exclaimed energetically and Victor nodded and walked away. She watched him leave, seeing other nobles of the castle heading towards the dining room. She was so absorbed in her disgust that anyone would want to eat that she didn't hear the soft clunking of boots behind her. She shrugged and turned back to her roses. Then she heard him.
"Keep it up Angela, and they'll name a bench after you." He taunted. Angela grimaced and looked up to see Koren's smirking face.
"Shut it mop top." She snarled back, making Koren's expression change from being smug to annoyed.
"Aren't you eating? Or is this some new miracle diet you're on?" he teased again. Angela felt the rage boil up in her, and she exploded.
"Just get the hell away from me Koren!!" she screamed, standing up. She wasn't even close to his height, but she didn't care. Her anger fueled her. Koren laughed and held his hands up sarcastically.
"Sorry, sorry, my what a temper we have!" He laughed again, mocking her, and strode off to the dining hall. Angela threw down her trowel in disgust.
'I hate you Koren.....I hate you so much........'
* * *
Another day. Another pound.
Another two days. Another two pounds.
Angela had cut back so much on eating that even the smell of food made her gag. Whenever she felt like she was going to faint, she just gulped down some water and curled into a little ball, remembering how thin, how perfect, she wanted to be. It was also obvious to everyone else that she was getting thinner, so she began to wear extra clothing, leggings under pants and extra large sweaters. No one could know....absolutely no one. But Victor kept pestering her, asking her why she was being so secretive and avoiding meals. Angela had to keep making up excuses, each more feeble than the last, and she knew that sooner or later he was going to realize what she was really doing.
Another day. Another pound.
Another two days. Another two pounds.
Now the maids were getting worried. They tried to catch her before dinner, but Angela would run off and hide in the gardens or behind a fountain in the courtyard so they wouldn't find her. At least Angela didn't have to worry about her mother being terrified of the truth. Her mother certainly couldn't care if Angela died or not, Angela thought that she never did care. Never embracing, scolding, even looking at her....Angela began to feel so lonely. If it wasn't for Victor, she would have done something even more rash then this. No...this wasn't to grab attention from her mother, it was the desire to be perfect that drove Angela into the slow suicide.
Another day. Another pound.
Another three days. Another three pounds.
* * *
Angela tiptoed quietly down the stairs. It was way past midnight, she knew that. She looked up and down the corridor, and began to walk to the right to the exercise rooms for the soldiers. She went over to a exercise bike, her favorite machine, and began to pedal quietly. Just an hour of this helped out so much in her plan. She was almost there....just another fifteen pounds, and she'd be down to 85, her goal.
"What are you doing Princess?!?" the call rang out like a shotgun in the empty room. Angela whipped her head around to find Victor in the doorway, his eyes wide.
"Just......um....." Angela searched her mind for a good excuse, but she knew there was none this time. Victor's breath became short and choppy.
"I knew it! You were getting thinner and thinner....I knew it....I should've known it...you're DIETING!!" he concluded dramatically, pointing a finger at Angela. The princess blinked.
"You look fine already Princess don't worry. But, if you like to exercise late at night, that's okay too. Well, goodnight." He waved, and left to go back to his room. Angela stared at the empty doorway.
'Sometimes Victor.....I'm glad you have those random blond moments.....' Angela thought in a silent prayer of thanks. With that, she continued to pedal.
Another day. Another pound.
* * *
Angela had reached a breaking point.
Her heart was beginning to speed up for no reason, and she felt so overwhelmed by it that she had to lay down. And not even water was helping curb her hunger, as she was beginning to not even keep that down. Her eyes had become sunken in and she looked so different from the youthful, beautiful princess she once was. And Angela began to worry.
She had to stop. She told herself that, but another little voice in her head screamed at her to continue. Her knees and elbow joints would ache so much after the late night exercise that she would sleep later than intended. Even though Victor had blown it off as a simple "dieting" phase, he now seemed to be thinking the same thing as everyone else; Angela was starving herself.
She fought her will every minute of everyday. But it was far too strong for Angela's body to cooperate with her growing fear. Her will to become perfect suddenly overpowered her entire body, and she continued her dreadful routine like a zombie, dead on her feet. But the fear inside her still remained, the one nagging thought that sometimes screeched at her during her exercise or when she spent her time huddled in her room; you're dying Angela. You're killing yourself.
Another five days. Another five pounds.
* * *
Angela crept down stairs once more to her nightly exercise torture. She had reached the door, and she saw a tall, sweeping black shadow standing in front of it. Ominous, it leered at her in the dark, and Angela could make out the shaggy, golden hair framing the youthful face.
"Follow me Angela." Koren said sternly, and turned down the hallway. He had scared Angela so much that she stood there, her heart beating so fast.....
"I can hear your heart from over here Angela, now COME ON!" he shouted, and Angela dashed forward to meet him. They walked down several flights of stairs together, Koren slightly ahead and Angela following, her head bowed down to her once voluptuous chest, now nearly flat as a wall. He led her down into a parlor-like room, heavily decorated with tapestries and rather pricey looking furniture. He waved his hand at the fireplace and the wood burst into flames. Angela jumped slightly, she still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Koren could use magic now. He then turned his hand to her, and Angela squeezed her eyes shut. When nothing happened, she turned around and saw that he was pointing to an armchair behind her.
"Sit." He ordered, and Angela quickly obeyed. He took one across from her and shifted so he became comfortable. Angela wringed her wrists nervously while Koren just stared at her. She looked into his eyes and for the first time in a long, long time she saw an emotion in his eyes she had missed. Not mockery, not a glint of mischief.
But concern.
"I know what you're doing Angela, even if the others won't accept it." He proclaimed, a tone of deep, deep seriousness that Angela had not heard in quite some time, "you know it too. Say it."
"What?" Angela finally spoke up, and Koren leered at her.
"Say it. Say what you know."
Angela paused for a long while. She had to say it, what she already knew inside her head since the day the hell began.
".........I have an eating disorder. I'm anorexic!" she yelled, and burst into tears. Koren nodded.
"You have to accept it as well. Then, you need to focus on recovery." He explained gently, and Angela looked up, tears flowing down her face and even more welling in her eyes.
"How come you know so much Koren?" she asked innocently and Koren's eyes suddenly became wide. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Angela pressed forward, trying to make eye contact. He took a deep breath and let it out.
"....I was once bulimic. I don't know what made me do it. Just, something inside of me telling me I was useless and not worth anyone's time. So, I started to.....y'know......throw up after every meal. It was like some kind of ecstasy joy that flowed through my body when I did. But then I realized what was happening and...." He paused, and gulped, "....and I'm lucky to still be alive." Angela stared. Koren? Perfect Koren? The center of attention of the entire kingdom once had an eating disorder?
".....I'm scared. Koren.....I want help, but half of me is telling me to continue on with it. And that side is more convincing then the other side that tells me it's wrong and I...." The princess stopped and began to cry again. Koren sighed heavily.
"It was like that with me too. But, you have to try Angela. You're going to die if you keep this up..." Angela looked up abruptly.
".....just nine more pounds Koren....."
"No!" Koren roared, and jumped out of his hair. He placed his hands on Angela's armchair's armrests and stared into her eyes, "Nine more pounds and you'll be DEAD Angela. You'll be dead unless-you-stop." He said, making his voice clear. Angela began to cry harder, throwing her arms around Koren.
"I don't want to die.....but I can't stop Koren.......help me...please." She sobbed. Koren didn't embrace back but he placed a hand on Angela's head.
"Alright, I'll help. But there's one more person you need to tell." He stated, and Angela looked up.
"Who?"
"Victor."
"NO!" Angela wailed again and buried her face into Koren's chest, "Not Victor...he'll hate me!"
"No...No I won't Princess!" Angela quickly turned and saw Victor in the doorway. He smiled comfortably, "I'll help you too." Angela slipped past Koren and ran over to Victor. They embraced and kissed, and for the first time since she started, she began to think she could get over this.
She knew she could get over this.
Okay! I'm stopping it there. Yeah, Angela gets better, duh. Sorry for the angsty stuff, and the huge secret that Koren was bulimic, if it bothered you. Maybe I'll make Koren's side of the story, like his experiences with his eating disorder. I know this was short, but please review if you liked it! And don't flame please......