We returned to the hotel after finishing and I still felt embarrased about the ordeal with Namjoon. I still roomed with him, but I did not want him to think of me as a nuissance. Maybe he thought I was being to much of a child? I went onto my phone to check on the pictures of us they should have posted by now. I saw the final product. Everything looked so real; the lines were smoothed out well and skin tones matched mine perfectly. I sighed in relief as Namjoon and I were in the dorm, "What?" He asked over my sigh. "I am relieved this thing will be over." I showed him my phone and he smiled, "It looks so good, but I wish we could just say who you really were." "Yeah, that would make it easier, but people would not know how to react to it."
He nodded and sighed, "Yeah I know, I am sorry I got onto you like that; I just need you to learn the situation before acting is all." I nodded again; I hated getting scolded. I knew I was in the wrong, but I hated when I felt dumb as well. A few minutes had passed as I was waiting for Namjoon to get out of the shower; he came out in a tee shirt and basketball shorts. His shirt was wet, like he did not use a towel afterwards. "Sorry, there was only one towel and I did not want to make you use it after me." I smiled at his kindness and thoughtfulness, "You did not have to do that for me, but thank you." He smiled, shyly and I grabbed my things going to the shower. I was slow since I was tired. Once the water had turned cold, I got out and got dressed. I walked out to see Namjoon was almost asleep. I was in shorts that went to my upper thigh and and oversized tee shirt. I smiled at the sight of him laying there; he was usually just so tall and a bit overbearing, but now he was in a fetal position with the cover half way on him. I walked over and put the cover over him more so he would not be cold, but he grabbed my hand in a half sleep which startled me a bit, "N-Namjoon...?" He did not respond, instead he pulled me over the top of him. I was now laying on top of body. I was scared, maybe I could just sleep like this? Surely he would not do anything.
I rested my arms under my body to give a little bit of distance between us and rested for a bit, until he started to breathe irregularly lke he was waking up. I looked up to see his eyes looking down at me curiously, "What are you doing?" I widened my eyes, what do I say? "I.. uh.." He lifted his arms around my mid back, "Did you have a nightmare?" I decided to go with that since I had no other way of explaining this without seeming crazy, "Yes, I am sorry. I will go back to my bed now-" He cut me off by holding me tighter and shaking his head, "No, it is ok. I do not mind." I blushed, "Well then, I will just lay beside you." He turned over and let me go, putting me beside him. I got under the covers and he scooted closer to me, holding me tightly to him. I again rested my hands between us and tucked my head into his chest, "Hey Maghe," I looked up curiously and he placed soft lips onto my forehead. My eyes widened, surprised, "Goodnight." He simply said and closed his eyes. I just closed my eyes, confused for what just happened. I slept, soundly for the first time in a while.
I awoke to Namjoon wriggling beside me. We were away from each other, but stil really close. I looked at him accidentally looking into his eyes, "Oh, good morning. Sorry, I woke you up." I shook my head and looked away, "It is ok. Do not worry yourself." "Also sorry about last night; I was not totally myself." I shook my head, "Do not worry, it did not bother me in the slightest." He smiled and came over to me again. "Do we not scare you?" I furrowed my brows, "What do you mean?" "I mean, you are one girl in a group of guys. Does that not worry you even one bit?" I shook my head, "I trust all of you, I know you guys would not do anything to hurt me and it is my job to be in this group. I do not abandon things easily you know." He looked a bit worried, "I think I like you Maghe." My eyes widened and so did his as he quickly began to speak again, "No! I meant like your personality...!" Something in his voice was a half lie, but I went with it. "Oh, ok! I was a bit scared." I laughed awkwardly and so did he; I cuddle closer to him and rested longer until I was awakened by knock on the door and Namjoon getting up to see who it was.
He opened the door and I heard him and Suga having a conversation for a bit; I got up and stretched seeing Suga come in smiling lightly at me as he came in with Namjoon behind him. "Hey Maghe, would you like to come with me to go out to eat?" I furrowed my brows, "Oh, yes sure, but we have to go to somewhere cheap. I do not have that much money." "Do not worry its my treat." I shook my head quickly, "I can not let you do that." "Oh sure you can, but you need to meet up with the makeup and dressing crew first." I sighed, "Ok." I got up, went to the bathroom, and dressed in more appropriate clothes to go out in. I got out of the bathroom and walked to Namjoon saying goodbye and then went with Suga to the bus. We went to the dressers and I went in by myself to get my outfit, but was surprised what I saw in their hands, "What the hell?!" The dresser then spoke, "Do you not like it? We can find a different kind if you want?" "I am not supposed to be wearing dresses! If I was to wear one, everyone would know for sure I saw a girl!" The head dresser then smirked, "It is a disguise, sweetie!" He was holding a wig in his hand." I widened my eyes at them all, "Are you all insane?!" They laughed and began to dress me in the dresses with corsets underneath seeing which one looked best. Soon they picked a very simple outfit, deciding to skip the dress and corset and stick with a black and white striped shirt, grey overalls that was a skirt at the bottom, thigh high black socks, and white Vans. I took a look in the mirror horrified at their concept this go around, "Come on, please reconsider this and let me wear normal clothes." "Think of it this way; if the public sees you and Suga together alone without the other boys, they would be suspicious again. Now if we dress you as a girl they would just suspect he is talking to some girl, but who? No one knows this girl. She has no songs or anything. No companies could claim her, but Big Hit would gladly claim her as one of their interns." I sighed, "Yeah, you are right..." I always hated dressing like a girl. I would of course claim I was female, but I just liked how comfy guy's clothing was. They now took all mirrors away from me and began to figure out which wig to give me and after they picked that, they moved on to my makeup that would be girly and 'cute.' Once they were all through with me, they gave me a hand held mirror and I saw someone entirely different. I saw Mae.
"Wow, you guys made me look like a girl again." I had somewhat curly hair to my collar bone that was a lovely golden brown and very natural looking. I had to stop myself from letting my tears flow out, "What's wrong sweetie?!" The head dresser said hugging me, "I just wish my mom could see me right now. I miss her." She laughed, "She will see you in the news; she just will not know who you are." I laughed and hugged back, "Thank you."