Callie woke up from a restless sleep Wednesday morning when the alarm across the room went off. She sighed opening her eyes, they burned from lack of sleep as she rubbed them rolling over to face her sister as Mariana sat up turning her alarm off.
"Did you sleep?" Mariana asked turning to her.
"A little" Callie muttered.
"Me too" Mariana just nodded in understanding.
"You take the bathroom first" Callie said sitting up. Mariana nodded heading into the adjacent bathroom and closing the door. Callie sat up looking at her closet not really seeing anything actually in it. She heard the water in the bathroom go on snapping her back into reality as she stood up crossing the room. She reached into her half of the closet grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Lately she had become more choosy with her clothing, Mariana must be rubbing off on her, but today Callie found she could care less. As Mariana exited the bathroom Callie went in getting ready for her school day not bothering to take any extra time she threw her hair up throwing on her clothes.
When she went downstairs she was surprised to see she was the last one at the table.
"Ok guys eat up, Brandon is driving you all to school you can't be late" Lena said putting a plate of pancakes on the table. Callie looked down the table as she took her seat at the end, pancakes, eggs, bacon, cut up fruit, home made muffins…it would seem she and Mariana were not the only ones who couldn't sleep last night. lately Lena had been taking her stress out by over cooking, not that Callie could complain, but today she felt bad. If she had known Lena was up all night Callie would have gotten up to help her.
"What time is mom's thing?" Jesus asked as they all passes around plates.
"It's at 9" Lena said.
"and you will text us after?" Brandon asked.
"I promise I will, but guys mom is going to be fine, it's very routine, but I will text you when she is out" Lena nodded. Everyone nodded back at her, Callie pushed her food around her plate finding she wasn't hungry, next to her Jude was doing the same thing.
"Eat guys, breakfast is important" Lena said although Callie noticed she was not eating much either. There was rhythmic tapping taking over the unusually silent breakfast table and Callie saw Jesus bouncing in his seat and knew the sound was coming from him swinging his foot back and forth against the table.
"Jesus did you take your pill?" Lena asked.
"Yes" Jesus shot at her.
"Jesus" Mariana said reprimanding her brother before Lena could.
"Sorry, I did, it's not working" Jesus said and Callie could see he really was sorry.
"It's ok, I think we are just all feeling a little off today without mom, but she's going to be fine and everything will be back to normal tomorrow, we're allowed to have one off day. Just try to make the best of it ok guys it's going to be fine." Lena said trying to give them a pep talk.
"Yeah, it will" Brandon chimed in. Lately he had been trying to be so supportive and helpful. He had stepped up for his moms and Callie was thankful because Jude had really seemed to be looking up to their oldest brother a lot lately. With their moms busy no one had wanted to stress them out by asking for anything. Jude being the youngest and still needing the most, had been turning to Brandon a lot for homework help and rides to places, Brandon was always happy to help him. Jesus had been a little off the wall lately, Callie knew it was not his fault, he was trying to control it but almost every night he was running around the driveway with the basketball, his music was to loud, his foot was always bouncing, he was quick to snap, but he was quick to apologize after. Callie knew he was trying, they were all on edge but Jesus seemed to be showing it the most. Mariana had been trying to deny it, she buried herself in her election for class president, school work and spent a lot of time at Lexie's since she was back. Whenever something with Stef's health came up Mariana would leave the room and refused to talk about any of it. Jude was trying to help out as much as possible, for his age that meant staying out of the way which he tried to do as much as he could with his moms. When he needed something he was quick to turn to one of his older siblings before he went to his moms, a habit he had been broken of for almost a year was creeping back when Callie found him going to her more and more for reassurance and advice. Callie for her part knew she was regressing just like her brother, she could feel it, and she knew her moms could see it. Callie noticed she was talking less, she preferred to be alone and especially felt out of place around Stef and Lena. Callie felt them looking at her with worried eyes lately ever since they had announced that Stef was sick. She knew they were worried and she hated worrying them, but she didn't know how to stop it. Something that had once felt so comfortable was starting to feel strange again.
They all quietly helped Lena clean up the hardly touched breakfast when they finally all gave up on eating anything. Lena double checked they all had everything and gave each of them a lingering hug reminding them again Stef would be just fine and to have a good day.
"Will you bring mom some of this food? She's going to be mad she missed bacon" Jude said trying to make Lena smile. For her part Lena did offer him a weak smile but shook her head saying she didn't think mom would be up for bacon yet. Jude's face fell and just at quickly Mariana turned on her heels headed for the door as the rest of them trailed behind. Callie glanced back at Lena who suddenly looked old to her. Lena's normally so peaceful and beautiful face had dark circles under her eyes, where she usually had a slight smile on her mouth her lips seem to sag as if even they didn't have they strength to stay up. Her usually well put together outfits were replaced with jeans and a sweatshirt, even her hair looked like it didn't want to curl as it was messily thrown on top of her head. Callie sighed closing the door behind her as she piled into the back of Brandon's car. Lena already looked so tired and they still had a long road ahead of them.
Stef's procedure was at 9, Callie had done her research in private as soon as their moms had told them what was wrong. Today Stef was getting the lump removed, there would be other more invasive surgeries Callie didn't want to think about in the coming weeks, but today was just a minor one. According to her research it should take 2 hours tops if there were no complications. And so 11:15 found Callie sitting in her English class looking between the clock and her cellphone. She could not have even made a guess as to what Timothy was talking about and didn't even bother trying to figure it out. Brandon sat near her, she wasn't sure if having her brother in class made her feel better or worse as she checked her phone under her desk again. 11:16. Lena had promised, she had promised to text the minute Stef was out. Maybe Callie's phone was broken, maybe she couldn't get messages. Callie turned her head behind her glancing at Brandon who was glancing down at his own phone. Callie could tell that he was waiting for the same message. So it wasn't her phone, Callie sighed turning back around not wanting Brandon to catch her looking at him.
"Mister Adams Foster, do you have an opinion?" Timothy asked and Callie bit her lip. Clearly he had spotted her brother not paying attention. Callie had no idea how to help him, she knew Brandon, like her had tuned out the whole class.
"Ummm no sir" Brandon muttered.
"Well I suggest you spend a little more time looking at the bored then down at your desk, why don't you come up and place that cellphone you've been hiding up here until the bell" Timothy said. Brandon looked defeated as he got up and put his phone on the teachers desk before going to sit back down. Callie slid her phone into her bag for fear of losing it too. She shot Brandon a look as he returned to his desk and he returned it. They were both nervous, Lena was right, they were all going to have a very off day. When the bell finally did ring Brandon slowly gathered his stuff as the classroom emptied. Callie waited for him trying to offer some support as Brandon made his way back to Timothy's desk.
"I'm sorry about my phone" Brandon said.
"I have half a mind to hand this over to your mom, you know how strict she is about cell phones in school" Timothy said Brandon nodded and Callie hung back behind him.
"I'm sorry, I was just waiting for a message" Brandon said.
"You both were very distracted today, is everything ok?" Timothy asked softening his voice. He always did have a good heart, he really cared about his students, but Callie knew the Adams Foster kids held a special place in his heart, especially after everything that had happened with the baby.
"I was just waiting for a text from my mom" Brandon said and Timothy suddenly moved a book glancing at his deck calendar.
"Lena's out today isn't she, the date escaped me she told me about your mom" Timothy said almost as a way of an apology. Brandon and Callie just nodded.
"Right, well then your excused today, let me know if you guys need anything? I'm sure it can be stressful but your mom is strong" Timothy said.
"Thank you" Brandon said taking his phone Timothy was handing to him as he and Callie went into the hallway practically walking in Jesus, Jude and Mariana.
"Did you hear?" Jesus asked drumming his fingers on the wall.
"No, Timothy took my phone" Brandon said as Callie grabbed hers from her bag but before she could even turn it on Mariana gave them the news.
"Momma said mom did well and she was recovering" Mariana said. Callie and Brandon both let out a sigh of relief. Callie checked her phone anyway and sure enough there was a group message from Lena saying exactly what Mariana had just told them.
"We should get to lunch" Brandon said as they all turned and started walking down the hall.
"Maybe… maybe we could all eat lunch together today?" Jude asked.
"Yeah, that sounds good" Brandon nodded putting his arm around Jude.
"I'll go save a seat by the water" Jesus said running ahead. Mariana turned to Callie as they walked behind their brothers.
"It's good news right? See, everything is going to be fine, don't look so worried" Mariana said flipping her hair. Callie just sighed watching her.
The rest of the day went by to slowly for Callie, she had gym class with Mariana but she found no humor in watching her sister scream and run away from the ball today. She just wanted school to end so she could get home. History class dragged and Science was no better, when the final bell rang Callie was the first one to the car as she leaned up against it waiting for her brothers and sister. The ride home was noticeable more cheerful then the ride to school. Mariana and Jude sang along to the radio, and Jesus played the air drums in the back seat. Callie sat up front chatting with Brandon even she felt happier to finally go home and see Stef. They had all felt such a big presents missing in the house the past 24 hours. The last time they had seen her was yesterday morning when they were leaving for school, she had to be at the hospital yesterday afternoon to do an overnight before her surgery. Lena's car was not in the driveway when they got home much to everyone's disappointment.
"We should get homework done so Momma doesn't have to worry about it later" Brandon said as he unlocked the front door.
"We can make dinner too." Callie offered.
"That's a good idea, everyone take your homework to the kitchen table, you too Jesus." Brandon said as if he was the final decision. No one argued with him though as they unloaded their backpacks onto the table. Callie popped some chicken in the oven before sitting down next to Jude to help him. Jesus's music was blasting through his headphones but he was working so Brandon told them all to just leave him.
It was almost dinner time with the front door opened.
"Hello" Lena called. Callie was the first one to her feet and into the hall as they rest were closely behind her.
"Where's mom?" Mariana and Jesus asked at the same time as Lena took off her shoes standing alone.
"She had to stay over night again" Lena said gently.
"Why?" Brandon asked.
"Well it's parodical, they want to observe her, she's fine though she will be home tomorrow" Lena said. Mariana turned going back into the kitchen.
"We thought she was coming home today" Jude sighed.
"Oh I'm sorry guys, your right mom and I didn't even think to let you know she would have to stay another night, but she said to tell you she misses you all and can't wait to see you tomorrow" Lena said trying to sound upbeat.
"Yeah, tomorrow is fine" Brandon nodded.
"I'm really sorry guys" Lena said again.
"It's fine, really. Callie made dinner" Brandon said changing the subject.
"Yeah and I'm starving" Jesus said as he and Jude went to set the table.
"Thank you for making dinner sweetie" Lena said putting her arm around Callie.
"no problem" Callie said softly taking a slight step away from Lena. She hated that she was doing this, especially after she felt Lena give a little sigh.
"Jesus!" They heard Mariana bellow.
"I'm going to go check on them" Lena said going into the kitchen.
Callie slipped out of her bed creeping down the stairs into the dark first floor. She thought about watching TV but didn't want the noise to wake anyone else. The last thing Callie wanted was for someone to join her. So she went through the kitchen easing open the back door and going out to sit on the deck. She pulled her knees up to her chest looking up at the stars.
Lena heard the back door creak and her eyes popped open. Her heart was racing as she sat up. She had already been wide awake but now she was up and out of her bed throwing on a sweater against the cold morning. Of all the nights for Stef to be gone today had to be the night she thought someone was trying to break into the house. Lena crossed her room going to the window looking out over the back yard to see if she could see anything trying to talk her heart into slowing down by telling herself she had imagined it. The moon was bright, surly no one broke into houses when the moon was so bright right? Then Lena saw a familiar figure sitting on the deck and she let out a sigh as her heart beat returned to normal. Callie, Callie was sitting outside in the middle of the night. Lena desperately wanted to go to her but she hesitated, she hated that she did but Callie was typical Stef's turf. Lena loved her of course, she loved Callie just as much as her other children but Callie always seemed more comfortable with Stef, they understood each other in a way Lena couldn't as much as she wished she could. Lena knew Callie loved her as well it was just different between them. Maybe another night Lena would have stayed upstairs and let Callie have her space but Callie had been pulling away for a week now. Even Stef had not been able to reach her, Lena didn't want to force her but she knew she couldn't sit up here when Callie clearly needed some kind of comfort.
"Oh Stefanie, what are we going to do with your girl?" Lena muttered slipping her feet into her shoes and going into the hall, she did a quick head count of her other children. All four asleep in bed thankfully, before she went downstairs. She stood in the kitchen for a minute watching Callie before stepping out to the cool air and crossing the deck to sit down on the wood next to her.
Callie let out a sigh when she felt footsteps on the deck behind her. Without turning around she knew it was Lena, they were to quiet to be Jesus or Brandon and Mariana and Jude would have said something already. Callie didn't feel like company, especially Lena as guilty as that made her feel. She loved Lena, but Lena was always about talking things out and expressing feelings, Callie could not even let herself think feeling without wanting to explode. Lena sat down next to her and was silent for a while and Callie felt herself relax a bit.
"It's cold to be sitting out here" Lena said gently. Callie just nodded pulling her sweater tighter bunching it up in her hand under her chin.
"Callie, you can't do this, you have to talk about it." Lena whispered. Ahhh there it was, Callie had been wondering when it would come.
"I…I don't want to." Callie just shrugged.
"I'm sorry mom and I were not clear about when she would be coming home, I know you were really disappointed when you got home from school." Lena said
"Why did she have to stay?" Callie asked still looking across the yard.
"Just for observation, believe me she did not want to, I thought they would have to put her in a straight jacket to keep her there" Lena said and Callie almost felt herself crack a small smile.
"it's just…I know cancer doesn't work like this, but I keep picturing her in the hospital bed looking so sick." Callie said so softly Lena had to strain to hear her.
"Like when she was shot? Sweetheart mom doesn't look like that, there are no scary tubes or wires, she looks just like her old self, except a little grumpier being held against her will." Lena said.
"I know, I know logically it doesn't make any sense it's just, I haven't seen her since she left for the hospital Tuesday morning and…I don't know that picture is stuck there" Callie said finally turning to look at Lena for the first time. Lena saw tear tracks running down her face. She realized it had been almost 2 days since the kids saw Stef, why hadn't she thought of that earlier. She had wanted Stef to rest but it would have given them all peace of mind to be able to talk to Stef at some point this afternoon. Lena knew Callie was just like Stef, Lena could assure her until she was blue in the face but until Callie saw it for herself she could not be able to accept it.
"Well, I know how to get that picture out very easily" Lena said reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone.
"Wait? No it's late, you said she needed to rest we shouldn't wake her up" Callie said as Lena pressed Stef's name in her favorites.
"Mom would want to be able to help you no matter what" Lena said ending the argument. The phone rang a few times then stopped and Stef's face appeared on the screen.
"Hi love, it's late is everything ok?" Stef asked concern flooded her face.
"Yes we are all fine, I just have a friend awake with me who couldn't sleep and was missing her mom" Lena said knowing Stef would know who she was talking about. Lena turned the phone a bit so Stef was now looking at Callie.
"Hi love! Is momma keeping you awake?" Stef asked. Lena watched Callie scrutinize Stef's face taking in the fact that she was healthy and ok before relief flooded it.
"Actually I think I was the one who woke her up" Callie said offering Stef a smile.
"Ahh I see, well momma told me Jude did very well on that math exam you and B were helping him with, thank you for stepping up lately baby, Jude must be very proud of himself" Stef said.
"He is, mostly because he earned us all ice cream after dinner" Callie said making Stef laugh.
"Your momma is an old softy, how about you my love? How was the afternoon without me?" Stef asked turning back to Lena as she leaned in towards Callie.
"Oh you will not believe what your twins did" Lena chuckled.
"Oh my twins huh? they are only my twins when they do something bad" Stef told Callie winking at her making her laugh. Callie felt herself lean into Lena as Lena filled Stef in on the afternoon. Lena put her arm around her pulling her closer rubbing her hand up and down Callie's arm feeling her relax into her side even more. Callie listened to Lena talking and watched Stef laugh or talk back in response. It appeared Lena had known what Callie had needed even if Callie herself didn't. Callie gave a content sigh of relief and felt her eyes getting heavy as she didn't take them away from Stef's face as she was again laughing at something Lena had said.
After a few minutes Lena got quiet having finished her narration of the afternoon. "My love, you seemed to have talked our daughter to sleep" Stef whispered and Lena glanced over at Callie asleep on her shoulder.
"It appears I have, I should get her inside I don't think she has slept in days" Lena sighed.
"You haven't either, I will be home tomorrow and until my next procedure no cancer or health talk." Stef said.
"Your almost as bad as Mariana Stef you can't ignore this."
"I'm not my love but I don't want it to be something we all dwell on, especially the kids, if they need to talk about it we are here, otherwise we live life normally and don't let this ruin us" Stef said.
"your right." Lena nodded to tired to argue with her anymore.
"Of course I am, now get my baby inside it must be so cold out" Stef gave Lena a wink. Lena gently shook Callie awake making her stir.
"We're going to go inside ok baby?" Lena asked. Callie nodded her eyes still closed.
"Will you keep momma company in our bed tonight baby? She tends to get cold by herself, just watch out she likes to put her cold feet on your legs" Stef said making Callie open her eyes and smile at her with a nod.
"Ok, get some rest, both of you, I will see you tomorrow" Stef said
"You get some rest too!" Lena said.
"Ugh that's all I hear around here, i love you both very much" Stef said.
"Love you too" Lena said.
"Love you mom" Callie mumbled her eyes closed again. Stef and Lena both glanced at each other in shock. The other kids had told them Callie was referring to them as moms behind their backs but they were not sure if she would even call them that to their faces. They didn't mind either way, but Callie saying it now had caught them both off guard even if she was half asleep.
"You take good care of my baby" Stef told Lena.
"I will my love, see you tomorrow, we both can't wait" Lena smiled blowing Stef a last kiss before practically dragging Callie upstairs and into her bed enjoying the feeling of Callie curling up next to her.