The Day I Have Been Dreading
Author: Lucifer's Daughter aka poptart
AN: My Beta reader told me it was a little confusing when she read this because I didn't explain that the words in italic are the past. So basicly I'm giving you guys the heads up. The words in italic is the event leading up to Tomoyo walking to her rooms. My Beta told me to change it to where is all flowed with no flashback but I'm stuborn and this is the way I want it. I do not own Tsubasa or anything though Tomoyo and Kurogane better get together! I mean come on! Tomoyo didn't have someone to love her in Cardcaptor Sakura and here in Tsubasa she can have Kurogane.
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Walking silently to her rooms, Princess Tomoyo of Nihon felt calm. She knew long ago that this day would come. Not knowing if it would be tomorrow or ten years from the present, she made peace with herself.
"Princess Tomoyo! Their here! The travelers you informed us that would one day arrive are outside the throne room waiting to see you."
"Thank you Toya. You may go back to your post. Shall we go greet them Souma?"
Being a princess and Tsukuyomishe was taught to accept the natural reoccurrences that happen in life, that some things are just out of reach for humans to control, and that the best thing to do is accept what happens and move on. Being the reasonable person she was, she understood these views and made them her own. So then why? Why was there this ugly horrible feeling growing at the bottom of her heart?
"He gave this to us to give to you in case this ever happened." The creature and younger pair of the group didn't even look her in the eyes. They only braved to take small quick glances in her direction before returning their gaze to the floor. Only the tall blonde man stared directly into her eyes as he spoke and handed her a crisp white envelope.
Upon entering her rooms she told all the handmaidens to leave and not to bother her the next day. To them there was no difference in her. She had the blank concentrated face of a priestess adorning her face,which was not uncommon. But inside she felt a difference growing.
"I see. Where is he now?" Through out this entire exchange her face never changed. For she knew this day would come. The letter was a surprise but she couldn't let her self dwell on its purpose just yet. She had to be professional until she could retreat to her room. Then and only then could she think about this as a woman. Right now she had to think like a princess and Tsukuyomi.
Leaving the letter on her pillow she decided to go about her normal nightly routine before reading it. Call her a coward or scared but it wouldn't matter to her. She had been anticipating this day for years. She didn't want the day to end just yet. For when it was over it would be all the more real.
"Souma please make sure they all have rooms to spend the night and start the preparations."
"Yes Princess. "
While dressing into her sleeping gown her eyes never left the innocent looking letter on her pillow. In that letter was a message from him. In that letter were Kurogane's last words to her.
"Mr. D Flourite?"
"Yes Princess Tomoyo?"
"How?"
"He was protecting the Tomoyo in the last world we were in."
While opening the letter she didn't notice the tears that grew in her eyes. All she focused on were his familiar handwriting spelling out her name.
Tomoyo
I now know your reasons for sending me away were more complicated then just to teach me a lesson. Couldn't you have told me that before sending me away? Damn it bitch! I was so angry, confused, and hurt. I never hated you though. But I wanted answers. I wanted to hear them from you. Not someone who looks like you or that Time Witch. But I guess now it doesn't matter anymore. I'm dead but it doesn't mean I can't give you some answers.
After every world we visit I write a letter to you and give it to that annoying wizard Fai. If I don't survive the next world he is supposed to give the letter to you when they reach Nihon. But this time I'm doing it a little different. This time I have a feeling I won't have a chance to write to you in the next world.
In this world, Kurosaki, Tomoyo Daidouji is a rising political idealist that threatens to overthrow the corrupt government. She lives with constant attempts on her life by assassins who wield metal weapons called guns that can shoot small metal balls faster then the eyes can see. These guns can kill a person with out them even knowing. She reminded me a lot of what you could become.
Tomorrow Daidouji is going to present a law that threatens the criminal's lavish lifestyle they live. She has had many death threats already and some seem genuine. Many of her friends have been hurt due to this law and tomorrow is the last chance anyone has of stopping her. I will be by her side to protect her while she is protecting the citizens of Kurosaki.
Three years before we came her bodyguard died saving her. His name was Kurogane Suwa. She told me how they had known each other since high school and never addressed their feelings for each other. They had no idea his time was near and never had a chance to say good bye. Now she lives everyday with memories of stolen glances, unresolved feelings, and questions. She's so sad even when she is smiling and happy. I don't want that for you.
I love you Tomoyo. I don't remember when it happened but it did. For years I stayed by your side protecting you and loving you with out you knowing. I was foolish to even think that I could win your love and marry you. Even when you sent me away I still had hope of making love to you and sharing children with you. I had dreams of calling you my wife and waking to your serene face everyday.
I'm sorry I died. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person or sooner. But I'm not sorry I protected Tomoyo Daidouji. I love you Tomoyo but I had to save her. I had to even if it meant leaving you. Please forgive me.
Kurogane
Without a second thought she flung the letter across the room and finally let out a heart clenching sob. Not caring if she woke up the whole palace or the whole of Nihon she cried and screamed her heart out. The uglier emotions growing in heart finally had a chance to take over. All the hurt, despair, sorrow, and grief took control of her body and made their presence known.
Never again would she see him, hear his voice, or talk to him. No longer will she be able to seek his comfort and have him chase away her inner demons and insecurities. He was her pillar of strength always by her side, loyal to her until the end, whether it be to her personally or to her counter part from another world.
She knew there was no guarantee he would survive the travel but he had to go. She couldn't be selfish and keep him all to her self. He was destined for the journey and apparently he was destined to die as well. To die loving her and without knowing she loved him as well.