She stood in front of his grave, hollow eyes fixated on the concrete marker a few feet in front of her. It was as if all words lost meaning and she, herself, lost the capability to comprehend.
Her friends stood behind her, watching her with intensity like that of a hawk. Fretting over the young lady had practically become second nature to them seeing as they viewed the girl as pretty much a member of the family. All potential woe that threatened to come her way they aimed to crush. All in all, they'd do anything to preserve her pretty smile.
But today, all their efforts were rendered futile and they were at a loss. No one had an inkling of what proper measure to take.
She had stood there for the past fifteen minutes or so, unmoving and eerily silent. They wished to approach her but withheld from doing so in fear that she may suddenly break.
So they had resigned to merely watching her from behind, spirits' dampened further by their inability to do something.
And they hated seeing her that way, they really did. And they knew he would have taken an immediate disliking to her current state too, and would have taken it upon himself to remedy it.
Oh if only he were still around.
She shifted, feeling her knees go weak and her legs tremble. It was a miniscule movement that was not left unnoticed by her friends.
They tensed.
She had been so withdrawn the past few days that they feared all the shock had finally caught up with her.
Within the blink of an eye, the girl had dropped to her knees and quivers, with the force of all the sobs that never came, racked her frame.
Drip.
It was one drop at first.
Drip.
And then came another.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Next thing they knew, it was a downpour.
But even as the rain soaked her to the bone, she did not move.
They finally moved towards her, filled with the intent of bringing her back to the dry vicinity of the guild.
"Leave me." Her words stopped them in their tracks.
Breathe in.
"I'll be fine." Her voice seemed steady, but with a hearing as keen as that of a dragon slayer's, the small waver it held was unmissed.
Breathe out.
"Come back soon, okay?" On a normal day, they would have put up a fight and forcibly bring her back if needed, but perhaps giving her some space would be the best course of action. And by then they hoped she would finally have come to terms with the loss.
Breathe in.
She did not respond, and they let her be. She remained in silence as they departed, trying her best to steady herself. It was not until the rain had drowned out all the outside noise that she spoke once more.
Breathe out.
With no audience left, she had let her guard down, letting the tremors consume her.
"Why?" She whispered, finally breaking her silence. She reached out a hand to stroke the gravestone, fingers running over the letters etched onto the slab of concrete.
"Why did you go?" Her voice was shaky. "You promised me you'd come back, so, why?"
It happened all too fast, nobody was prepared.
But they should have seen it coming, what with that inherent nature of his that most likely runs in the guild. It was only a matter of time before he crashed.
And now he did.
She knew that but the shock it left had been more than just an ache in her heart.
She lifted a hand to touch her cheeks, feeling a torrent of cool water cascade down her cheeks.
"It's raining." She mumbles softly, looking up at the dark sky. Raindrops pelted her face, and she immediately averted her gaze.
"Look, it's raining." She turned her attention back to the gravestone. "You don't like rain that much, right?" She smiles softly.
She shut her eyes tightly, heaving out a deep sigh, attempting to draw in enough courage and strength.
Breathe in.
She opens her eyes once more and attempts to swallow the lump in her throat.
"I wanted to go on more adventures with you, you know." Her voice came out like a hoarse whisper, filled with the efforts of staying strong. "I wanted to see more of the world with you."
She indulged herself in the silence of the rainy afternoon, reliving all their escapades in her mind.
Breathe out.
Her heart felt heavy at remembering everything. But despite the immense sorrow she felt, her eyes remained dry.
"No tears, eh?" She smiled bitterly. "My best friend's gone and yet I can't even shed a single tear."
Breathe in.
She sighed. "I'm hopeless. I'll come back later." She mutters, standing up.
She glances back at the dull, gray stone and felt her legs tremble. "Goodbye."
Breathe out.
As she walks away, she feels her chest constrict and suddenly, she just couldn't breathe.
Her legs give out on the spot, she stares at the ground, her bangs shadowing her face, and she rests her hands on the grass, gripping the blades as tightly as she could.
Breathe in.
Her eyes find their way back to the marker. "I can't seem to leave." She spoke in a monotone voice.
She lets out a bitter laugh, relishing in the irony of it all.
Breathe out.
Another laugh escapes her lips, this time, cold and empty. It was a far cry from the usual expression of her mirth, all airy and bright and reminiscent of tinkling bells and warm light.
She bit her lip and felt another round of tremors rack her body.
Drip.
She studies the marker with the concentration much like of a child slowly learning how to read.
Drip.
Her gaze fell to her lap, bangs shadowing her eyes. She idly watched her trembling fingers.
"Idiot." She weakly mutters. "You're so reckless."
Drip.
Maybe it was time she stopped pretending to be strong.
Drip.
One hand makes it way to cover her face, while the other idly grasps the grass hard.
Drip.
A scream erupts from her throat. And she lets it all out.
Drip.
Guilt eats away at her heart.
Every day, she has wondered. Every day, she has thought.
If ever she had stopped him, or maybe even ran after him, would he be here right now?
She knew he wouldn't want her like this, putting all the blame on her.
She could almost hear his words of courage, see his toothy grin.
But she knew he was not here anymore.
Drip.
"You idiot!" She screamed in agony, her hands falling limply to her sides. Her face was tilted upwards, gazing at the stormy heavens. Her face was a mixture of tears and rain. "You didn't even let me say goodbye."
Drip.
She was now crying hysterically. "You didn't even let me say…
I love you."
Drip.
And in that moment, the young lady unleashes the bottled up storm that is her feelings.
She screams out of grief, wails out of regret, and bawls out of pain.
But most of all, she cries.
She cries for the love that is lost.
.
.
Here lies a dearly beloved family, friend, and hero
May your new adventure be as joy-filled (but less destructive) as your time with us
Natsu Dragneel
XXXX – X792
A/N:
Okay. I think it's time I got my shit together. Ugh. Finally, I've managed to complete something. Oh btw, I don't know when Natsu was born so…that's that. Yeah and mind leaving a review? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Idk. Bye.
Reposted (06/02/16): I got bored and the word count bothered me. It's gotten a bit longer. And god, I started this at around 12 and I finished at around 3 AM. I think I enjoyed revising this. (But it's weird searching for headstone inscriptions just for that last bit [I wanted to put 'idiot' on the inscription too, though]) I'll be editing more of my stories and will hopefully come around to being able to put together decent chapters for my other fics. Bye!