Disaster
einehexe reminds you: Don't forget that this is fiction, darlings.
WARNING: Character deaths and angst. Lots of it.
An old woman waited calmly for the end she knew was close. Cherry blossoms fell languidly, as if mirroring her weariness. Her old bones were drained and she barely dragged her body around for basic needs. The one eye she had didn't function properly anymore, but she knew these were trivial issues. What mattered most, what hurt most and what made her want to pass away so ardently was the tragic story she'd witnessed from afar. The heartbreaking love two star crossed lovers had lost the chance to live. Kaede was old, but the memory of the passion between Inuyasha and Kagome was still fresh in her mind's eye.
The bench near the old Japanese cottage in the mountains served as both rest from daily chores and place of meditation. Kaede closed her eye peacefully, leaning her back against the trunk of her guardian tree, Goshinboku, the only true, spiritual witness to a love so sweet, but so devastatingly wrong that it had been compromised from the start. She closed her fist tightly around the jade beads necklace, the one that had somehow remained in her possession. These beads were bystanders of the chaos that had spread its dust and claimed two unready souls.
The wind was light, as if willing to embrace the nature from within, and Kaede couldn't be more grateful. Now, just like this, she could almost hear them talking, as if the wind carried their whispers from afar. Somehow, she knew they'd found each other again.
The courtyard swirled with laughter and joy as the wind blew frivolously, playing along. It was the first day of spring and many paid their homage to the gods protecting their households, while others simply enjoyed the beauty of nature.
Kagome was reading. Even on such a beautiful day when the sun teased her eyelashes good-naturedly, she couldn't help but be enraptured by one of the many books of historical secrets she'd discovered by accident. Truth was, Kagome would read anything she could get her hands on, proud that she knew how to, but these three books she'd found were absolute treasures. They didn't speak of courage and glory, like many other historical books she'd read before, they didn't praise and laud and worship; they merely told the truth. The naked, ugly truth. These simple truths were written in the form of short stories by a talented hand, no doubt, but Kagome was captivated by the flow of thoughts and ideas, by how easily a single action conveyed so many emotions.
This particular book was about the indiscretions of a powerful Emperor and the willing pain of a single, incredible woman, as well as the heart-wrenching story of two lovers. She couldn't tell if it was recent, because all names of the characters within were undoubtedly changed, altered to keep the secrecy. It was supposedly a book about a Chinese Imperial family, though the words in the preface told otherwise. 'Sunset falls upon the empire of the rising sun, and so our disguised journey has begun.' In the book all characters were from China, the Emperor, his family, the peasants, the soldiers, all with the single exception of a magnificent woman. She came from Japanese backgrounds and her name was the only name in the book that Kagome considered might be real. Izayoi.
According to the author, Izayoi came from a wealthy family that had fallen into disgrace after her father betrayed the Emperor and murdered him in cold blood. She was forced to watch her father be humiliated before the mass of people, then tortured and killed mercilessly. She was obliged to watch her mother die from an illness no one had been able to cure. She had to leave her only sister in the care of an old peasant to save her from a certain downfall. Her teenage life was spent in cells and old cottages, waiting for a sentence to be given to her.
With a new Emperor in power, Izayoi was spared. The son of the late Emperor, the new ruler of those lands, he didn't order for her death. Instead, he wanted to see her.
Zihao, the new Emperor, was rumored to be the extreme philanderer. His wife was the most imposing woman that China had ever known, and yet he had her under his feet. There was nothing he wanted that she didn't do. She had no way of prohibiting him to see the countless women he saw, there was no way of stopping the abundance of bastard children resulted, yet Zihao's greatness and power kept rising.
He met Izayoi. The day he saw her beauty was the day his rakish behavior ceased forever. He loved her with all he had within him, but they could never be. Somehow, Izayoi grew to love him as well after frequent nights spent in his arms. Unexpectedly, her heart belonged to this man that ruled the entirety of China and he made sure to crush it.
The night she gave birth was a dreadful night. An ominous owl wail raised goosebumps on her arms as she kept pushing, exhilarated at the thought of seeing her baby born. The fruit of her love for the Emperor was this child, this little soul that was being brought into such a cruel world, but she would fill this tiny soul with all her love.
Enemy troops invaded the village. They plundered and devastated and burned and raped. There was sorrow and there was pain, but Izayoi's little house was hidden somewhere in the trees, and she was safe. Her baby was safe, as well, and for that she couldn't be more grateful.
Fresh news of the Emperor's death crushed her, though, and she barely pulled herself together, lest the only fragment of Zihao that she had in her life would vanish as well. Her baby was the only important thing in her life now, and she dedicated her every breath to his upbringing.
He was a marvelous boy, Huang Chen grew up to be an extremely gifted martial artist, well versed in Mandarin and Korean, a well-educated young man who never knew about his father, who had no idea he had Imperial blood flowing through his veins until one fateful day, when he was forced to join the Imperial family. Upon rumors that he was Zihao's son, the Empress made quiet investigations and decided Huang Chen's help in China's affairs would be essential. He had a way with crowds and weapons and he could be a superb General if he ever managed to become one. Being part of the Imperial family would only make things easier. Of course, she did not prefer him to her own son, the ever majestic Wei Fu, who was to become Emperor, but Huang Chen would surely be an asset, especially now that she knew war was closing in on them, even if nothing was certain.
Izayoi eventually died. The same illness her mother had suffered from struck her and she passed away without seeing her son again. She died young and devastated, but she died like noble woman, her dignity intact.
Huang Chen's own years of life were counted afterwards. Fate made it so that he met his half, a young woman whom he grew to love ardently, even though he was betrothed to another. Yet his intended, that woman of no apparent scruples, unraveled hidden secrets that brought the two lovers to their bitter end.
Kagome was now going through the book a second time, hoping to find concealed secrets between the lines, things she'd missed, facts she'd overlooked. So captivating were these words, that the abrupt appearance of her best friend, Sango, startled her immensely.
"Reading again, Kagome-chan?" the slightly older girl asked, fingering the new kimono she wore. It was annoyingly scratchy and too elegant for her, but she was required to wear it. "You don't have a life anymore, do you? Come on, come outside with me. Such a wonderful first day of spring and you're missing it completely."
Without waiting for a reply – or what she knew would have been a refusal – Sango grabbed Kagome's wrist and dragged her out the sliding door.
"See?" she said with a smirk. "The sun is not going to melt you."
Kagome giggled lightly. "You're so silly, Sango-chan." Her eyes relished the beauty of nature before regarding her friend cheerfully. "Silly, but right. Come on, race you to the onsen."
He bit the woman's shoulder roughly as he came, panting heavily from exhaustion. She squirmed in obvious pleasure, her chest heaving with every intake of breath. Her sharp, aristocratic features were drenched in sweat, her face glistening in the dim light.
"We have to stop doing this, Kikyou," he whispered against her shoulder, letting his body rest for a while.
She laughed coldly, the same answer she always had for his recurring statement.
"No, we don't. I will never let you go, Inuyasha. I want you," she declared, much like always.
He knew that. He knew she would never set him free; he just couldn't escape her tight grip. There was something about her that kept him coming back to her arms each and every time she summoned him, as if he were a lovesick boy.
"I don't want to do this anymore, Kikyou."
"That's too bad, because you're not getting away." She pulled him closer to herself as if to emphasize her point. "The Emperor will want you to marry me. And I can't blame Sesshomaru-sama: I'm a good catch – noble family, widespread relations and power, beautiful, influential myself… you'll do well by me, you know that."
Inuyasha sighed, lifting his head from her shoulder, ignoring the way his skin prickled at her random kiss on his chest. He got dressed quickly, intent on leaving. This was good. The sex was good – it always was – but he couldn't shake the wrongness of the act. They'd been doing this for years now, and every time he felt more and more immoral. He remembered the first time – she had come to him. It had always been that way. Back then, though, he'd thought he loved her, but this infatuation hadn't lasted. Now there was nothing there anymore. Now he felt hollow, and every time he took her body he was forced to ask himself why he was doing this at all. There was no sexual attraction unless she tried to seduce him, there were no lingering feelings, so he had no idea wherefore he kept returning.
"Good luck with the mission," she said loudly as he stood up and he turned his head at her.
"How do you know about that?" It was a redundant question that would offer him no answer; Kikyou always had her ways of finding out even the most secret affairs.
"The same way I know about everything else," she replied with a charming, enigmatic smile.
Kagome walked the same path home every day. There was nothing special about it on this first day of spring. The same houses with the same roofs, the same people, same trees hovering above her. An ever-present smile adorned her puffy lips, stray locks of raven hair having been pulled back into a beautiful updo. The kimono was slightly uncomfortable, but she tried to pay it no mind. If her parents knew she made this short trip to the onsen daily without guards, they would undoubtedly punish her fiercely. Maybe even restrict her from reading, take away all her books. She shuddered at the outrageous notion.
A hand came out of nowhere, thick, short fingers wrapping around her slim wrist and pulling her entire body behind an old cottage. Before she had the chance to scream, a slimy palm sealed her mouth forcefully, dragging Kagome inside the house. She nearly fainted at the sight of two murdered children lying on the floor in a pool of their own blood. They must have been alone in the cottage when the monster that was restraining her killed them. Revolted shivers traveled up and down her spine as she struggled violently to escape. Her entire life flashed before her eyes, regrets rearing their ugly mugs and punching her straight in the stomach, making her disgustingly queasy.
The monster pushed her to the thin wall. She could see nothing else but his ghastly smile, the crooked, decayed teeth, the repugnant way in which he stuck out his tongue, rolling it suggestively with that same vile grin. He fumbled with her kimono, mumbling gibberish in Chinese, laughing from time to time. She tried to bite him, slap him, to kick him in the groin, yet nothing worked her way. She was helpless and she could barely scream. Something thick had been lodged inside her throat, refusing to let sound leave her lips.
The monster touched her skin, sending a dismayed itchiness throughout her body. She cried. She sobbed for herself, for her soon-to-be lost innocence, for the shame she would bring upon her family.
Just as he was about to bring the greatest disaster upon her, a loud noise caught him off guard enough for Kagome to pull away from his grasp.
That first day of spring was the most terrible one, and Inuyasha was well aware of it. War breathed tauntingly against his nape and he shivered at the putrid smell. He hated the whole idea of war, of people dying and people killing, of women hurting, children hurting. He had no way of stopping it as the Chinese ruler was hell-bent on antagonizing them, even if it meant losing some of his people, as well.
Inuyasha's step mother, the Empress, was cold and harsh, but she was the only maternal touch he knew nowadays and had learned to cherish it. It didn't help matters that he and his brother Sesshomaru, the current Emperor, just couldn't get along with each other. He was fire, while his brother was ice. He was tempestuous and reckless, Sesshomaru was cold and calculated. But in critical situations both were fundamental to a fight, completing each other in a wholly natural way.
He missed his mother. He missed Izayoi as much as he missed his childhood, but those were lost days that were never coming back. Now he had a purpose and he would not let down his people. His life hadn't been rosy, but he was aware he ought to be grateful for his welfare. Such privilege was only in the hands of few.
He was walking a new path today, inspecting, protecting, giving help if needed. People loved him even if he hadn't asked for their gratitude, they respected him in a way they didn't even respect their Emperor.
His keen senses picked up muffled sobs and he was instantly alert. The source of the sounds was a small cottage and he decided to take matters into his own hands and investigate the issue. Bursting through the door, he wasted no time in pushing a young woman away from what looked like an aggressive peasant, though he knew better. The distinctive mark on the side of the man's face was proof that he was, in fact, a soldier of General Meng Zhi. Swift as lightning, ignoring the fact that the woman had tripped and fell, Inuyasha had the man against the wall, threatening him with a sharp katana forced against his throat.
"Who sent you?" the young man bellowed at the Chinese soldier in perfect Mandarin.
"Kill me," the soldier urged, his evil eyes trying to pierce Inuyasha's.
"I'm asking you this only once and then I'll slit your throat. Who sent you to do this? What is your mission?"
"Kill me," the soldier insisted, undoubtedly something he had been required to ask in such a situation. "Kill me, bastard, kill me."
The woman behind him screamed in complete horror as the head of the soldier was completely severed from the body, rolling in a puddle of blood. Inuyasha released the body as well, letting it crash to the floor with a loud thud before he sheathed his katana. Unable to discern any other noise except the woman's terrified gasps, he proceeded to search him for any secret documents. In the clothes he found nothing, but there had to be something in his possession, unless he'd been given a verbal message. Just when he thought he wouldn't find anything, a few dots scattered on the soldier's arm drew his attention. Remorselessly, Inuyasha ripped a part of the soldier's clothes, cut off the arm from the shoulder and wrapped it in the cloth. The woman behind him gasped loudly and he turned around slowly.
Kagome's heart was about to implode. She didn't know how to feel about her handsome savior: the way he killed that man heartlessly told her to be wary of him, yet his act of mercy towards her told her to trust him.
He turned his head to the side before doing the same with his body, his black hair wrapped in a loose bun shining in the soft light.
When he reached out a hand for her to take, Kagome knew he was trustworthy. Accepting the help, she was pulled to her feet and – without caring about the impropriety of the action – she threw herself in the stranger's arms, startling him for a moment before he provided the much needed comfort. She sobbed for minutes and he didn't say anything. The warmth of his body soothed her; she would have stayed like this forever.
However, he spoke,
"I'm sorry, but I have to go. Let me take you home."
"No!" she said, pulling herself away from him. "My family must not know this happened."
"I will not tell them," he said with a concerned smile, "but I want to make sure you get home safely."
Her own smile made him drop his guard for a long moment before he shrugged off this vulnerability.
"Thank you," she said sincerely and he took her home.
"I'm Inuyasha," he said, halfway there.
"Higurashi Kagome," she answered.
Their first meeting was the catalyst to others. He learned much about her and she found that he was part of the Imperial family, while she was a mere noble girl. They walked together at times, ever more often, telling each other about their lives, their passions, their hurt. She knew more about Inuyasha than she knew about her closest friend, Sango, but he still wouldn't talk about his past. The sheer mention of it brought a pain so deep to the surface that it enveloped even her in its sad clutches.
Soon Kagome realized she had fallen in love, but was aware that such a love was impossible. She had to disguise her feelings, hide her heartache. He was to be married to Kikyou-Hime soon, a powerful noble woman who had once held his heart, as he disclosed to her, and it hurt more than anything she had ever experienced.
There came a day when Inuyasha had to leave to China in a dangerous secret mission, and as much as she begged him not to go, he was still relentless. He'd discovered a secret map on the soldier's arms, the little dots hinting at the fortresses where the Chinese would undoubtedly soon strike, and he intended to put an end to their plan. Inuyasha's devotion to his country was unyielding and she had no other choice but to admire him for it.
When he left her heart was gone with him and it crushed her entire soul. She fretted over his safety, worried about his wellbeing, prayed for his return. Soon, though, he was back unscathed.
He hated having to see Kikyou before seeing Kagome, but she'd summoned him as soon as he returned from the exhausting mission. She kissed his lips sweetly and he meant to pull away, but didn't. Instead, he complied and let her touch his body in that familiar fashion.
"I'm so glad you're back. I was told you almost got murdered at the border, but you escaped at the last moment. You had all my prayers, Inuyasha – I'm sure this is what brought you back," she said, embracing him warmly. He wasn't surprised she knew such details; she always knew everything he did. He was certain she knew about Kagome, as well, but either she didn't think of her as a threat to their upcoming marriage or she was plotting something.
Kagome… It was no surprise for him that he had fallen for her – she was a boundless spring of joy and vibrancy, of comfort and passion, everything he searched in a woman. Standing here in Kikyou's arms, his thoughts went to the other, his heart beat at the anticipation of seeing Kagome.
As soon as he was able to, he went to the place where he knew he would find her buried in her literature, though today she was not reading. Instead, facing Goshinboku, she was sitting on her knees, her eyes closed in deep concentration, her palms pressed on her thighs.
He didn't mean to startle her, but she heard him approach nonetheless, and opened her teary eyes. At the sight of him she jumped right into his arms.
"Inuyasha!"
There was no need for words as they embraced tightly, terrified of the possibility of never being able to do this again. He gave her a beautiful jade beads necklace that he'd taken the time to acquire for her and she cried at the thoughtful and promising gesture. Something within them cracked right then. The air sizzled around their bodies, creating a potent tension that overwhelmed their blood and fogged their brains. He kissed her, but she returned it with the same fervor, holding him tight as if to make sure he wouldn't vanish from her grip. This mind-numbing fear led them to consume their passion, tangled in a heap of limbs and seared mouths. The afternoon sun enveloped their bodies in glossy light, making the sweat glisten on their skin. He showed her his nudity, everything he had to offer, every scar he'd got, the pain he'd seen, he'd felt. In return, she showed him her body with all its innocence, its mysteries, wearing nothing but the jade necklace.
He looked at her full lips longingly, kissing them once more, grateful that he could hold her so intimately, grateful that she'd given him such a gift, such a treasure. Guilt was foreign to them in that moment of utter release, both unaware of the young girl with a single eye watching them from afar.
She'd prayed for him, he realized, and that mattered to him most. Kikyou's own prayers overlooked, he was amazed at the anguish Kagome had gone through during his absence. The relief he saw in her eyes was deep-rooted, making him feel small and humble before such an amazing creature,
He would have confessed he loved her, were it not for the terrible crash that sent them in a frenzy trying to get dressed. Ensuring she was safe, Inuyasha went outside to investigate the source of the noise, cursing the ill-timed trouble.
There was fire and there were scorched dead bodies on the side of the road. Something had caused an explosion and the remaining soldiers – those who hadn't been caught in the resulting flames – were at a loss. Without orders from their General, they weren't even able to organize themselves.
Inuyasha came just in time then, ordering them to help the people that had survived, commanding them to lead others to safety. The General sent soldiers to let Sesshomaru know about the attack. The Emperor had to be informed of this prologue to what was certain to be a ferocious war. Prepared for battle, Inuyasha inspected every insignificant detail to make sure there wasn't going to be another sudden ambush.
They all gathered at the Imperial Palace.
Familiar faces of noblemen and members of the Imperial family didn't faze Inuyasha at all; he was undaunted. Kagome's presence among them, however, made him slightly uncomfortable, but he hid it, his stance remaining stoic as he bowed to the Emperor, his brother.
"Sesshomaru-sama," he urged, "let me handle this. I will-"
A collective gasp enclosed the whole room as the echo of another explosion blared through the thick walls of the Palace. In a flash, Inuyasha was gone.
Minutes later he reappeared with two Chinese soldiers in his custody, throwing them to the floor before the Emperor, who was ruthless in his questioning.
Kagome knew how such a questioning ended, but to watch Inuyasha sully his hands with enemy blood again made her sick. Kikyou-Hime had a strange, proud glint in her eyes as she regarded her intended that Kagome couldn't understand.
"My troops are outside, fighting," Inuyasha declared suddenly. "I must join them. Stay safe, Sesshomaru-sama."
Kagome wanted to go to him, to stop him, but it wasn't her place. Instead, she had to watch Kikyou making her way to her soon-to-be husband and kiss him sweetly on the lips just before whispering something to him, no doubt words of love and hope for a secure future. The General's eyes found Kagome's, an ocean of love and regret swirling in them. She understood the soundless message and it broke her in half.
"I have a short announcement to make, if you allow me, Sesshomaru-sama," Kikyou declared loudly, for some reason locking eyes with Kagome in a manner that sent rapid shivers down the young girl's spine.
"Just before you go to fight, my love," she said to her future husband, "it is fitting that good news be given. I have found out something worthy of acknowledgement, something that will surely bring joy before this fight."
Everyone awaited her words breathlessly.
"Higurashi Kagome, daughter of Higurashi Atsushi and Higurashi Setsuko, is, in fact, daughter of the late Emperor." With a strange twinkle in her eyes, she smirked at Inuyasha tauntingly, victory in her hands. "She is your sister, Inuyasha."
The General was reduced to a horrified silence as the young woman, Kagome, swayed on her feet. Her mother was there to catch her, a silent apology for all the lies shining in her hazel orbs. The man Kagome had thought to be her father all these years was looking anywhere but at her, confirming the wretched truth. Being the Emperor's daughter would have delighted her if only Inuyasha weren't her brother.
Images of them wrapped tightly around each other flooded her mind, invaded her head like obscene pictures, making her nauseous. It was the same as if imagining herself in that position with her younger brother, Souta, and it sent crippling prickles up and down her skin. Her sin was so colossal, so overwhelming, so completely overthrowing and devastating that she let out a piercing scream, clutching her hair in distress and shaking her mother's arms away to dash out of the Palace in a frenzy.
She didn't make it far.
Inuyasha was petrified. Dread held his heart in a tight grip, anticipating the disaster. The knowledge that Kagome was his sister, as repulsive as he knew it should be, didn't disgust him, but he worried about her reaction. He knew she valued moral principles, he knew that she was a frail little thing, raised impeccably by her mother, unable to ever commit such a sin against nature. His heart beat loudly in his ears, every passing second stretching and stretching until there was a painful scream that penetrated him to the core, cutting him in tiny pieces, paralyzing him. The horror of seeing Kagome rush out of the Palace froze his blood for microscopic seconds until he recovered and ran after her.
He shouted her name in abject horror just before a Chinese soldier outran a Japanese one and stabbed the woman he loved right in the heart. He hurried towards her, his own heart barely beating, pulse slowing down in terror, failing to see another blade come towards him. It was General Meng Zhi himself that had the privilege of killing General Inuyasha with an easy swing of his sword. With his last breath, Inuyasha dragged himself towards her, towards his lover, his reason for living, his sister, and watched her wide, lifeless eyes for a last time. With the remaining ounce of power, he tried to reach her inert, outstretched hand, but his spirit left him just before touching her still warm skin.
In a pool of crimson blood lay Inuyasha and Kagome, their fingers nearly touching, though not quite.
The books were coated in false names and places, but the facts were accurate.
Kaede had never forgiven her sister, Kikyou, for bringing about such a loss. The gods had made sure to be harsh on the woman from then on, as she knew Kikyou had loved Inuyasha sincerely, but all her bad decisions had been the result of poor advice. Her right-hand, Naraku, the one that provided her with all the details on everything that happened, had led her to such hatred towards Kagome that it had ultimately resulted in the couple's demise. Kaede knew Kikyou had never desired such a thing – deep down, she had been an insecure woman who had merely wished to be free to live with her love, but she'd acted recklessly. With all her poise and acumen, Kikyou had been thoughtless.
And Inuyasha and Kagome had paid for it with their lives.
The only relief Kaede had was that they'd died together; maybe they were together once more. Soulmates such as them were bound to find each other forever, and the books she wrote would hopefully transcend time, helping them find their way to one another all over again.
einehexe says: Pervert little Kaede, huh? At the time it felt like a well-intentioned version of Briony from Atonement, though a much less complex Briony *grin, wink* Furthermore, I don't want you thinking I was bashing Kikyou in this story, because I wasn't, seeing as I generally respect Kikyou's character, though I did try to mirror her mistakes from the original manga in my own way. She wasn't evil, just misguided.
The idea for the story came from the amazing movie 'Man Cheng Jin Dai Huang Jin Jia' (aka Curse of the Golden Flower) I don't own it and I don't own Inuyasha, either, so there. I just love Gong Li and Jay Chou to bits and hereby wanted to pay homage to their greatness. Hopefully you enjoyed this bittersweet story; I just had to get it out of my system :) Ja ne and please review; it would make me extra happy.
And as to how exactly Kaede's books held information – though vague – regarding Inuyasha (Huang Chen, if you haven't realized) and Kagome's end, well, wouldn't you like to know? *grin* Please read the top author's note if you still don't get it :)