So here I am! I just finished my first Chicago Med story (can't belief it).
I have to admit that for now, there is only one reason I'm totally into this show.
Colin Donnell, alias Dr. Connor Rhodes.
Wow, he literally blew me away in the first episode and he continues to do so.
He also caught my heart in "Arrow" especially Ep.1.20 and I think they made the worst mistake when they let Tommy die at the end of the first Season.
And this voice…
He is just an incredible guy!
This story relates on Episode 1.08. It would be easier to understand if you watched it.
Last things before I let you dive into this story: English is not my first language. So you sometimes will have to deal with typos and weird wording (I guess), please be kind and don't hold it against me. This story is not betaed.
And: I owe nothing of this!
The 5.8 Seconds-hug
Ethans POV
Watching the Skyline of Chicago on an icy winter night is a thought, that 3 month in the past would never have crossed my mind.
But lately I find myself making my way up to the rooftop of the hospital building nearly every day no matter how the weather is or how many hours ago I was supposed to clock out already.
Natalie calls it "our hiding spot". "Ours" that means hers, Connors and mine.
And that's what it is. A place to shut out what's going on in the real world down there for a moment, to regain your poise after a rough case, to hope for someone who understands, who notices your absence and if workload allows it shows up to check out if you are okay. Sadly lately it seems like Connor has gained a monopoly on this spot. But comforting Connor appeared to be a challenge. Natalie boiled it down to an essence someday when she asked me: 'How do you show your support to someone who virtually turns himself "off" because he simply doesn't expect anyone to do so. And damn, how is he able to make such a great job about something he seemingly never experienced on his own?'
Connor is the latest addition to our team, and he unintentionally introduced himself with a "BAM" on his first day.
It didn't take me to long to notice, that he is not only a brilliant Trauma Surgeon absolutely dedicated to his job and his patients but also appeared to have a gift for language and to be one of the honest and kindest human beings I ever met.
Everyone loves him…well, almost.
First of all, Dr. Charles who seemed to be Connors "go to for" his first few weeks at the hospital. I really hope that in the near future Will turns the corner and will be able to swallow his pride. Because really… as I look at it? The last thing Dr. Connor Rhodes is seeking for is an on and ongoing dogfight. From what knowledge I could regain from his past, this man's life is a constant battle since he was a little guy.
So this night I was the one standing on the rooftop worrying about my friend Chief Petty Officer Mason and asking myself how to continue to belief in a health care system that puts first the health issues of a spoiled Saudi prince who can afford every medical wonder that would work in his favor and then comes a veteran, who has served the community for so many years and only wants to be treated with the amount of respect every normal citizen deserves.
Thank god Connor came up to tell me with a smile on his face that my former CPO made it to surgery and would be ok. It was such a relief. This man meant a lot to me. And thankfully when I clocked out for my personal leave, without being asked Connor took over responsibility and watched over him, then made the right decisions when things got rough. I took some well needed deep breaths and suddenly was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. So I turned towards him to thank him, for what he had done for me and my friend. But I was shocked by Connors appearance!
I tried a lot of ways to describe it. But this is the only one that I came up with, that nearly hit the point:
Connor, totally tensed up and his face holding a totally vacant expression. Hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket.
He reminded me of a kid that had invited his friends who had a lot of fun on his birthday party and him being a bystander who wasn't allowed to enjoy it himself.
God! In this moment I hated Cornelius Rhodes for whatever he did to his only son that lead to this.
Connor flinched when I made body contact, only put a hand on his shoulder. Nevertheless it pulled him out of his detached state and his expression changed to wondering then insecurity. The moment I clutched his jacked there was sheer terror in his eyes, but I couldn't help myself. This had to be done somewhere along the line.
Dam it!
I literally forced him into my embrace a he tensed up even more and I reckon he tried to not panic by taking two deep breaths. He then hesitantly hugged me back one handed. As I held him I felt a slight tremor running though his entire body. It was as if he fought an inner battle to ether run, or to give in. Suddenly, decision made, his entire body seemed to melt into mine and he hugged me back for real. For a few seconds he held onto me as if the world depended on it. Sadly this state didn't last long. He then broke the contact and his hands again were deeply buried into his jacket pockets.
As I told him about my damaged confidence in our health care system, with a pained expression on his face he told me. 'We didn't make the world, right?'
Then he left…
And I ask myself jet minutes later: Why do I have a feeling again that there is more to know behind his statement. I think I have to find out, right!
I consider Connor my friend now and I will do everything that helps to make his life a little easier to live. By teaching him, how to accept being liked and loved and, of course, being hugged. Not because I owe him, but because this guy deserves it, for working so hard to not turning out as he was supposed to be.
End
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