I'm doing a bunch of crack shipping oneshots in one fic. Yes, I will be doing some non-slash pairings, but ONLY FOR THIS FIC!! Requests are welcome too. But, remember, they have to be CRACK.

First up.........Purpleshipping (PaulxDrew). Now sit back, relax, and try to enjoy.

Blackmail:

"Hey, Paul!" Ash called out to his latest rival. He had just found something very interesting....

"Leave me alone." snapped the irate trainer.

"Aw, come on, Paul!"

"If I punch you, you won't be able to talk to me anymore, because all of your teeth will be on the ground in front of you, got it?"

"Please?"

"GO AWAY!!"

"But I have your badge ca-" Ash got no further.

"WHAT?!?!" Paul spun around and snatched it from the black-haired preteen, "You have no business going through my stuff!!" When he turned around, Ash could see Paul's face: it was beet red.

Ash was grabbed by the collar sharply. "What was in my badge case?" hissed Paul dangerously. Ash gulped.

"Y-y-y-y-y-your b-b-b-badges, o-of c-c-c-c-c-course," he stuttered, "a-a-a-and a p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pict-"

"What did the picture look like? Tell me!" demanded Paul.

"A p-p-person with g-g-g-green h-hair and eyes a-a-and who l-l-looks really familiar and I t-t-think h-his name i-is D-dre...." he was suddenly slammed into the nearest wall.

"Tell just one person, and I'll kill you!" Paul's eyes were like flames. Ash nodded so hard he thought his head would come off. Then he remembered something.

"Wait! I have the picture right here!" he shouted. He was immediately grabbed again.

"Give. It. Back. Now." he growled. Ash smiled and shook his head.

"Nu-uh! It's mine now!" and with that, he shook himself from the vice-like grip and ran for his life.

Obviously, Paul immediately ran after him. But terror gave the other boy amazing speed and he made it back to the PokeCenter before Paul did. Then he disappeared from sight entirely.

He (Ash) had somehow gotten into some random secret compartment. With a computer. Not good for Paul. Not at all.

But just before Ash clicked OK on the submission in his blog (Since when did Ash have a BLOG?! Since when did he know what a blog even was?!), Paul burst into the room. Darn it!

"Don't do it. Close it. NOW!" he commanded. Ash was going to do so, but then he remembered that he could do what ever he wanted, so he stuck out his tongue.

"Hehe, just try to make me and I'll click OK!" he smirked. Paul now found himself in what's usually called a lose-lose situation. Ash had won. Dammit, why did that loser have all the luck?!

"Alright, pathetic. What do you want me to do?" he grumbled. Ash's smile split his face.

"Easy-peasy, Paul! Just call Drew and propose your undying love for him (Sound familiar? Yes, it's Brock's style.)!" he answered happily, while handing over his cell phone (Wha??) to Paul. He took it with a sigh, knowing the concequences to either option: kill Ash and let the entire world know his secret,or get killed by embarssment, dialed Drew's number (STALKER!!), and put the reciever to his ear.

"Hello?" came the familiar voice from the other end. Paul sighed. It was do or die now. Personally, he preferred die, but.....

"Um, hi, this is Paul, and I-i just wanted to tell you t-that....."

Um, this was done at 3AM with, like, 3000 cups of coffee, so....yeah. Not my fault.

Ha! Betcha you didn't know this ship even existed before now!! If you did, good for you. Now review and tell me how sucky it was.

Oh, and did you notice that there was a smidgen of Comashipping in there? Probably did. Ah well.