Keima's POV

"KAAAAMMMIIII-SAMA!" Elsie wailed as loudly as she could. I grunted and continued to fiddle with my new shiny limited-edition black $900 PGP, the advanced version of the PFP.

"Th-th-the dog is barking at me again!" she whimpered as she walked alongside me on the way to school. I sighed and ignored her. Stupid Elsie! I sometimes seriously doubt that she's actually a demon.

Elsie pulled at my sleeve, then tripped on a branch, falling over, screaming and also pulling me down. I screamed as my PGP flew out of my hands.

Nooooooo! It soared halfway down the road and got crushed by a car. My life force was running out…ANYTHING BUT MY PGP! D:

I prepared myself to kill, crawling to my feet. "Ahahaha…" I readjusted my glasses and looked up at the face of the PGP killer.

"ELSIEEEEE!" I roared dramatically. I tackled her, then she started whining like an annoying Chihuahua. This is why I hate real girls!

Then, everything became blurry and my hearing was fuzzy. I blacked out…

"Keima! Keima! Can you hear me!" Couldn't they just let me sleep?

I opened my eyes and saw a woman who obviously had some kind of mental illness and was shaking me violently. Her long orange spiky hair was loose and whipping everyone around her.

"ARGH! WHO ARE YOU! CRAZY WOMAN!" I yelled, crawling under the blanket.

"Keima! It's your mother!" the crazy woman said.

"And it's Elsie! I'm so sorry, Kami Nee-sama!"sobbed a girl with a pink scarf-thing. It seemed that I was a weird-people magnet. Of course, that WASN'T GOOD.

"STAYY AWAYYY!" I screamed. I quickly climbed out of bed, crashing shelves and racks to the floor to block their way out. I ran out into the hospital corridor.

All these nurses turned and stared at me as I wobbled along the corridor. Where am I, and who are those crazy people? They seemed familiar. Nah, probably just my imagination.

Then I heard a strange noise, like an alarm – doradoradoradora – and I turned round to see a red flashing light coming from the direction of the room I had just left.

Honestly, this place was probably the House of Noise and Disturbance. I couldn't even run away in peace.

The alarm was… something, but I couldn't name what it was. Images of skulls and lots of cute girls came into my mind. Wait – what did that have to do with it all! D: