So, this idea invaded my head and I just had to write it (if you're a reader of "Blood of My Blood", don't worry, I haven't given up on it). Maybe I should move it to the Thor + Only Lovers Left Alive crossover category; what do you guys think?
English isn't my native language, so there might be some mistakes.
Don't be too harsh; I'm slept-deprived and writing this when I should be studying...
The pain was unbearable. Thor had been a warrior almost all his life (which meant thousands of years); he had been gravely injured in the battlefield many times. But no battle wounds hurt as much as this. The pain of loss. He had lost his mother. And he had lost his brother.
He had threatened to kill Loki if the trickster betrayed him again. He hadn't meant it. He would never be able to kill Loki, no matter what the God of Mischief did. Thor could have left him to Malekith after Jane was rescued. Instead, he had trusted Loki (who could have easily lied about the protective shield and harmed the God of Thunder for real, stabbing him and beating him and cutting his hand off) and saved his life. And Loki had died in an attempt to do the same for him.
When Thor first lost Loki, he mourned. He would not celebrate with the others, he would barely speak with his friends. The only thing that he wanted was Jane's comfort, but the link to Midgard had been broken. And, in all truth, he wasn't certain that Jane could help him forget the pain and move on.
This time it was worse. It was worse because he had two loved ones to mourn. It was worse because Loki died trying to save Thor. And Thor could not forgive himself for that. His guilt was so great that he felt like every day the Kursed was stabbing him instead of his younger brother.
Jane was there for him this time, but she couldn't help. Thor didn't know if he wanted to stay in Midgard, go back to Asgard, or disappear in the vastness of the universe.
And then he met Adam.
The first time that Thor saw the man, he thought that he had lost his mind, that his eyes were playing a cruel trick on him. Had someone put a spell on him in order to punish him? But no, it couldn't be; other people saw the man as well.
He was of the same height as Loki. He walked the same way as Loki. He seemed introverted and isolated from the world like Loki.
Before Thor knew what he was doing, he was following the man.
The hair was wrong - brown and almost tangled. The clothes were wrong as well - brown jacket, black leather gloves, and black leather trousers tucked into black army boots. Loki loved black leather and green; he wouldn't be caught dead in this sort of outfit.
Thor stopped dead in his tracks. This was just a mortal man of no significance at all. Yes, he was as tall as Loki. Yes, his stride was like Loki's. But that was all. Thor hadn't even caught a good glimpse of his face.
He turned around and walked the other way.
A few nights after that, the man came to him.
He was walking on the same road, subconsciously hoping that he would run into that familiar stranger again. And he did.
The stranger found him. He stood in front of Thor, arms crossed over his chest, looking at the God of Thunder intently. Thor looked right back at him, and his breath caught in his throat. His face was so much like Loki's. He was actually paler - Thor had believed that no one could be paler than his brother who preferred staying in the palace and reading or learning the acts of healing or practicing his magic to going out and enjoying the sunlight on his face and practicing on the art of war - but his eyes were the same green flames in his skull, his cheekbones were just as prominent, and his lips were thin and soft-looking like Loki's. The only thing different was the hair framing that beautiful face.
"You were following me the other night," the man said. His voice was so much like Loki's and yet not at all at the same time; it was hoarser, deeper.
"Yes," Thor admitted. What was the point of denying it?
The man looked at him from top to toes as if Thor was a product that he was thinking of buying. Thor felt naked under that man's glance. And he didn't mind.
"Why?" the man asked in the end.
"I..." How could he explain to a mere mortal? Yes, he looked very much like Loki; but he was still just a human. "I lost someone very dear to me recently. I've been feeling like I have a hole in my chest ever since."
"What was that person to you?"
"He..." Thor began and stopped. What had Loki been to him? Everything. "He was my brother. My companion. He..." Thor's voice trailed off again. There had been certain times when Loki would look at him in a way that siblings do not look at each other. Thor had dismissed the thought of Loki being jealous of Jane, but sometimes he caught himself wondering whether that was truly such an absurd idea.
"He meant a lot to you." The man's melodic voice filled the silence, pulling Thor out of the thoughts that could make his head - and heart - hurt.
"He meant everything to me."
The man nodded as if he understood perfectly. For some reason, Thor believed that he truly did.
"Are you alone now?"
Thor nodded. He had decided to take a break with Jane; he did not want to drag her into his world of misery and pain. He had to face it all by himself, just as he had done when Loki fell into the abyss.
"Do you need a place to stay?"
"Uh..." Thor looked at the man. Was he really offering to put up with him? Why? Thor did not fear for his safety - he was a god, after all - but he just could not understand the human's motive.
Did he really care? The man looked so much like Loki and he had just proposed to share his home with Thor. It was not important why he would do such a thing. Thor found himself nodding in agreement without thinking.
The man nodded as well. "Okay," he said. "I'm Adam, by the way."
Adam lived in the past. He liked listening to old records, reading old books, dressing in old clothes. There were pictures on his wall, black and white, of people long dead. Edgar Allan Poe, Christopher Marlowe, and many more. Loki had been like that in his own way; he used to read old books and he wanted to know more and more about the first Asgardians and the sorcerers who had lived before him.
Adam was introverted. He didn't go out much. Loki had been like that as well. He preferred the company of his books to the company of people. Thor only recently had realised what people said of Loki behind his back.
Adam was depressed. He made sad music and preferred sleeping during daytime and being awake when the world was dark. Loki had never appeared sad to Thor, but people's words must have hurt him. And yet, he had always put on a brave face. After finding out about his true parentage, he had not dipped into sorrow; he had slowly fallen into the abyss called madness.
Adam was suicidal. Thor had often seen him with a gun pointed to his chest, sitting perfectly still on the bed as if he could wait for all eternity. In a way, that was another thing that Loki had had in common with him. Loki had willingly fallen into the abyss; he had led his army of Chitauri personally; he had followed Thor to his adventure even though he knew that it could get them killed. And in the end, he had died.
When Adam caught him crying, he comforted him. He put an arm around his muscular shoulders and whispered to him words of languages he did not know. Although Thor could not comprehend what Adam was saying to him, he found the words soothing and began to relax into the other man's embrace. Adam stroked his hair and planted a soft kiss on his brow.
Before Thor knew what he was doing, he was kissing him.
He expected Adam to pull away, perhaps even get angry and kick him out of his house; instead, Adam kissed him back. The kiss was just like he had imagined it would be with Loki: at the same time tender and passionate, liberating and consuming. He imagined that his fingers were running through raven locks instead of brown.
They slept together that night. And almost every night after it. Sometimes they went out for a walk, or Adam drove him to little pieces of heaven on earth. Then, they would return to his seemingly abandoned house and sleep in each other's arms until night dropped its dark cloak over the world.
Thor could pretend that Adam was Loki. He talked to him about his younger brother and was surprised at how easy it was for him to share all that with the mortal man. Adam listened carefully; he never showed any sign that the stories bored him or that Thor's love for Loki made him jealous.
As Thor talked and Adam listened making a few comments, they reached the conclusion that Thor loved Loki in every way one can love a person. His feelings were, at the same time, brotherly and romantic. Thor loved Loki as his brother, friend, and companion, but he was also in love with him. Thor wished it had dawned on him sooner. He wasn't certain how Loki had felt about him, but at least he would have told him. Now he had missed his chance. Now he had only Adam.
Life was almost perfect until Thor found out the truth.
He had never seen Adam eat, but he hadn't paid much attention to it. He had needed comfort, someone to hold him, and Adam had been ideal. He was almost happy with Adam, even though there was still something inside him missing. He had been selfish, content that he had what he needed - he had never realised that Adam was not acting like all other mortals did.
He found him in the bedroom - their bedroom - with his head thrown back, his lips parted, and his face with an expression of ecstasy painted on it. He had a glass in a loose grip, and the glass was stained with red.
"Adam?" Thor called uncertainly.
Adam looked at him, and in horror Thor noticed that his canine teeth were longer. The creatures called vampires from the Midgardian legends had teeth like that.
Adam rose gracefully and silently like a cat, the glass forgotten on the bed. "Now you see me," he said bitterly.
Thor wanted to go to him and hold him in his protective arms; on the other hand, he didn't want them to get any closer. Was this still Adam, or was it a monster? Who was the real Adam?
"I don't understand," he said stupidly.
Adam snorted a laugh. "You never understood me, did you, Thor? You couldn't even understand yourself, how you feel about me." He paused. "If you were what I am, you would throw that glass and yell, 'Another!'"
Thor's mouth opened, but no words came out. The only people who knew that tradition were the Asgardians and Jane, Erik, and Darcy, who had witnessed it during his exile in Midgard. How could Adam possibly know?
Adam rolled his eyes. "Just use that little thing you have in your head, brother."
Thor's heart skipped a beat. That sentence was spoken in the exact same way Loki would say it. Thor felt like his brother was peaking out of the Adam mask. But that couldn't be, it was not possible. Loki had been stabbed right before his eyes. He had held Loki's dying form until those emerald eyes closed forever. It simply could not be.
"It's not possible," he breathed.
"Oh, but it is. Gods do not die easily. But I'm more than just that. God, sorcerer, Frost Giant - I'm really hard to kill."
"I...How?" Thor knew that he sounded completely stupid, but he was overwhelmed.
"My magic saved me. When you left me, there was just a little bit of life inside me. My magic did this. I don't know how, but I was resurrected in Midgard as someone undead...I was reborn, or reincarnated, or...I don't really know. One moment I was dying in Svartalfheim, the next I was alive here...as a vampire."
Thor pressed his nose with his thumb and forefinger. This was too much. Was this true? Or had Adam decided to play a cruel joke on him based on everything the God of Thunder had revealed? But Adam didn't know where Loki had died. Adam didn't speak so...vividly, so...alive.
"Is it really you?" he finally asked.
Adam smirked. "You've known it all along. You followed me that night because something inside you screamed that it was me."
Thor walked to him. He stroked his cheek. He had done that to Loki in the past, and it had felt exactly like that. "Loki?" he asked, filled with uncertainty and apprehension, afraid that this was either just a dream and he would wake up any moment now or an illusion that would be snatched away from him.
Those so familiar, bright emerald eyes locked with his ocean blue ones. "Yes." That one word was enough.
Thor broke down and held Loki tightly in his arms. His brother wrapped his own arms around him and chuckled in his ear. That sound was sweet music to his ears.
"I can't believe it's truly you," Thor said with tears spilling down his cheeks.
"It is, brother, I swear it." Loki broke the embrace and looked at Thor. "Do you hate me now that you know what I am?" He looked like a puppy expecting to be kicked because he had done something wrong.
"No. No! I don't care about what you are. The only thing I care about is that you're here, with me."
Loki smiled and wiped the tears off Thor's face. "Will...things be the same between us?" he asked.
"Absolutely," Thor replied immediately and whole-heartedly. Loki was here and he would be his everything - his brother, his friend, his lover. "I'll never leave you again."