Disclaimer: I own nothing of this series.
Summary: Explorations of Matt's mind during Season One, Episode Seven: "Divide and Conquer".
Inspiration: Nirvana, the music group: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was playing while I was thinking about writing a Will/Matt oneshot. In tribute, each section has the word "nirvana" in it.
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In Sight Insight
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Matt had never liked school before.
Well, that wasn't completely true. He enjoyed school because he could see his friends. He endured classes with a touch of antipathy towards the actual act of learning. But what did teachers expect from him? He was a musician, not a scholar. He did well, anyway. He seemed to have a knack for knowing just what he needed to, in order to scrape in A's for his report cards.
His parents didn't care about how his grades were for the rest of the school year, and that was fine by him.
So, he'd fallen into the habit of scraping in the good grades at the last second. No one cared—the teachers were proud of his improvement, his parents only saw the good report cards, and Matt didn't really care. He was content with pleasing everybody while spending the majority of his time doing what he loved: playing music with his band after class was over.
Except that now, that wasn't the only reason he liked school. There was a second reason, a reason that he shared exactly one class with and that had him showing up early in the mornings to see every day before school started. A reason with a red bob-cut, brown eyes and tan skin, who loved her jeans and T-shirts and he'd really almost never said a word to.
Yeah. School was now nirvana, at least for one class period a day.
Matt sighed and settled into his seat on the bench. He sat here every day, waiting for his friend Nigel to show up. Waiting for her to walk onto campus and to her friends. Waiting for school. Well, he wasn't necessarily waiting eagerly for any more than one class, but by default, he was eager for school to start.
It was a nice morning, a Thursday, and school was starting in about twenty minutes.
A van pulled up and a teenage boy, with longish red-brown hair, stepped out. He nodded goodbye to whoever was inside before turning to Sheffield Institute and looking around the campus grounds.
From his spot on a bench near the far wall, Matt lifted his hand in greeting before lowering it, his eyes scanning the arrivals for a particular face.
The other boy grinned widely and made his way over to his friend. "Hey, Matt."
"Hey, Nige," the black-haired teen replied absently.
Nigel sat down beside Matt, resting his backpack at his feet. He casually scuffed the ground with his shoe, nudging a loose rock into a rolling tumble to the grass on the other side of the walkway before them. He glanced at Matt, grinning to himself at Matt's obvious search for someone. "Hey, dude."
"Huh?" Matt still hadn't looked in Nigel's direction.
Sighing, Nigel reached out and snatched his friend's tan hat off his head.
"Hey!" Matt finally paid attention to his friend. His hand reached up to grasp at the empty air above his head, too late to stop the hat from being removed. Tearing his eyes away from the entrance to the school, he turned his gaze to his friend. Smiling, he grabbed for the hat that was in Nigel's hand. "What gives, man?"
"And he finally says three words in a row! Should we try for four?"
Matt shook his head, the hat plopping into his hand. He placed it back on his head, saying, "One. Two. Three. Four. Five." Just to be contrary.
"Whoa, five! Don't strain yourself, Mattie!"
Shaking his head, Matt finally asked, "What do you want, Nigel?"
"What, I can't hang out with my friend without wanting something?" Matt raised his eyebrow, and Nigel laughed. "Okay, okay, I did want to tell you something. Like…" He raised his eyebrow at Matt this time. "You're really too obvious, you know?"
Matt blinked. "What?" A faint blush tinged his cheeks, which Nigel was not oblivious to.
"Whenever a certain redhead walks into your line of vision, you can't take your eyes off of her," he said.
Matt's cheeks went darker pink. "That's not true!" Nigel snorted. "It's not!"
"Uh-huh." He would have let it drop, but Nigel found himself smirking when he saw a familiar van pull up. It was only familiar because of Matt's obsession, but it was enough for Nigel to be confident of his claim. "Look, there's Will."
"Where?" Matt's head snapped up. Nigel snickered when Matt's eyes stayed locked on the redhead when she emerged from the car, glancing around the schoolyard before heading towards a group of four girls.
Nigel's laughter grew louder when he saw his buddy's dazed expression. That wasn't all Will's fault, however. "Man, you've been coming to school early for weeks. How long have you been here today?"
Matt managed—no small feat in his state of puppy love—to tear his eyes away from Will. Nigel reflected that perhaps it was because of the fact that Will was now looking around the grounds, and Matt didn't want to get caught staring. The boy in question blinked twice before replying, "…I got here about half an hour ago…"
"And you were up since…?"
"Five."
Nigel was surprised, even though he'd been expecting an answer like that. "Uh…school starts at eight."
"Yeah, I know." Matt dropped his head in his hands, his blush darkening to red. "I just…uh, couldn't sleep."
"I would, uh, believe you," Nigel mocked, "if not for the fact that I know nothing gives you nightmares. Ever."
Matt couldn't help smiling. He and Nigel had been best friends since they were toddlers, and when they were seven they'd caught a glimpse of a very bloody part of a very scary horror movie. They'd been so freaked that ten minutes had passed, and the TV was turned off by Nigel's mom when she'd run in, scared by the screaming—which was actually from the movie. It had been during one of their many sleepovers as kids.
Nigel had been completely unable to sleep for a week. Matt's head hit the pillow that night and he'd slept soundly until morning. That ability hadn't faded over time.
"And," Nigel continued, "You've never had insomnia issues. That excuse so doesn't fly."
Matt rolled his eyes. Trust his best friend to know him so well that Matt couldn't even scrape by with a feasible lie. "Dude, you suck." Nigel cupped a hand around his ear. "Fine, fine—I wanted to get here early, okay? Happy?"
Nigel shook his head. He could say so much more—like, "You got up three hours early because you wanted to see a girl, but can't even talk to her?" and "You only have one class with the girl later in the day, so it's not like getting up early gets you anything" or even "She always gets here five minutes before the bell rings, like clockwork—you wouldn't have missed her if you slept until a decent time." But he couldn't. As a friend, he knew when to hold back on the teasing.
They sat in companionable silence for a long minute, before Matt—eyes still locked on the redhead across the campus—started talking about a song he was in the process of writing. Nigel picked up the strains of conversation easily, knowing that in the two classes he shared with Matt, it would be so much easier to get his friend's attention. He'd settle for this distracted guy now, because…
…Well, maybe he liked watching that group of five across the campus, too. A girl with glasses had joined them, and Nigel was more than happy to let conversation lull a bit every now and then.
Finally, the bell rang. As he stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, Nigel couldn't help but make one more jab at his buddy. "Hey, Matt." Matt looked up, blinking like he'd had the sun in his eyes. "You think you'll actually talk to her today?"
Matt's cheeks—which had lightened back to normal color—abruptly went pink again. "Well, you know, we'll be busy in class today—you know, the ski trip is tomorrow and all that. We have to listen to the teacher."
Nigel laughed. "Matt, that's the perfect opportunity and excuse to talk to her! Just think about it—the two of you, curled up on a couch by the fire in the lodge…" Matt shoved Nigel lightly as they walked.
"Yeah right. As if that would ever happen." The blush on Matt's cheeks said otherwise about his opinion on that scene, but Nigel didn't comment. He just laughed and led the way into the building.
The day had gone from good to…questionable.
Matt had endured his earlier classes, up until that one class he shared with Will. With her in the classroom with him, he had a lot more trouble concentrating in this class than in any other. And, of course, it didn't help that she was so close to him. Her seat was right beside his. What kind of wonderful but cruel joke was that?
And then, there was the new exchange student. She was…interesting, to say the least. Sondra had an accent, beautiful, shiny hair and a figure that was definitely more mature than any other girls in her grade level, and seemed to have unlimited confidence and composure.
But she wasn't a redheaded, slightly gangly tomboy who wore jeans and a T-shirt every day, without fail.
And she wasn't close with a group of friends who all seemed to genuinely like hanging out with one another, unlike other gaggles of girls around the school who Matt overheard talking trash about other members of their clique.
And she wasn't obsessed with frogs, which Matt only knew because, okay, he had been listening that one time when Will and Cornelia were talking about the little frog key chain, which dangled from her backpack.
Sondra simply wasn't Will.
She was, however, an interesting person, and he wasn't lying: he was flattered that she had seemed to single him out for some attention. He was a guy, after all. He wasn't immune to the flattery. She seemed to be a nice person, too. He wasn't really all that interested in her as a girlfriend despite her apparent shine to him, but he couldn't deny that he was a teenager: she was nice to look at.
On the downside, however, he wasn't able to watch Will as much as he usually did. With Sondra hanging on every word he said, he had to actually think about what he was going to say before it popped out of his mouth. There was no need for the new girl to know about his rather embarrassing obsession with a redhead he'd never spoken to.
Maybe he'd even have a better chance with Sondra than with Will. After all, Sondra hung on his every word. And Will was really just a girl he saw in one class every day, who he'd never really spoken to for more than a couple minutes at her birthday party. And he'd only been invited because of Cornelia.
The only plus side to his situation was that his nirvana—that one class he had with Will—was before lunch, and before Sondra had come into the picture. He'd had his hour-plus of bliss before this whole…situation…came to light.
He sighed, collapsing on his bed with a loud thump. Yeah, he had virtually no chance with the tomboyish Will, considering how little a connection they really had to one another. But it seemed like he had every bit of one with gorgeous Sondra.
But then again, he wasn't naïve or ignorant. He saw how every boy in school was throwing themselves at her, and he saw how much she enjoyed the attention. She definitely wouldn't be content to settle for a relationship, not with him. And he wasn't the type of guy to flirt with a girl and not have it mean something more.
Rolling over onto his stomach, he sighed again. Will was a girl he could see himself being the boyfriend of. Sondra, not so much…but there was one thing that she offered that Will didn't: a chance for some experience with talking to a girl.
She wasn't very similar to Will at all, but he wondered if maybe he could learn some things that would keep him from making a fool of himself around the redhead.
As if things weren't bad enough…
They'd both just shouted at him. "Stay out of this!" But how was he supposed to stay out of it when—as egotistic as it sounded—it seemed like he was the entire reason they were fighting? As if he were the cause of their vitriolic snaps and snarls?
And he thought girls talking behind each other's backs was catty…this was ridiculous. He'd always thought that Will was a sweet-tempered girl. She'd never been mean to a single student in the school. And now, all of a sudden, she was on this foreign-exchange girl for no real reason other than—egotistically, he thought—himself?
Matt shook his head in confusion as the two girls stomped away from each other, in opposite directions. Sondra was surrounded by a gaggle of goggle-eyed boys whereas Will had gone back to her four friends. He stood there, confused. The hisses and whispers of his classmates who had witnessed the incident were getting on his nerves, but he felt a bit…shell-shocked, really.
Nigel appeared beside him, nudging him with his elbow. "Who knew you were so popular, bro?" he joked weakly.
Matt blinked at the bus, unable to turn his head in either direction. Who knew what looks Will and Sondra were throwing at one another—or worse, him? "I think I'd rather be a school loser." When had this ski trip turned from a possible chance for nirvana-like bliss to…well, this?
He had a feeling he knew the answer, and it had something to do with a certain Swiss student's arrival at Sheffield Institute.
Nigel grimaced, and then tugged his friend away from the bus. Matt followed willingly enough, not wanting to get caught in any more crossfire—and not wanting to see either girl just at the moment. It was a bit disturbing to find himself suddenly thrust into a spotlight, the object of affection for two girls who seemed to hate each other's guts.
The two friends headed into the lodge, bags over their shoulders, while the rest of their classmates seemed to prefer to lag behind and gossip. "Hey, let's put it this way," Nigel said with a sudden smile. "Will is fighting with Sondra over you, right?"
"I'm well aware of that, Nige," Matt snorted. How could he not? He hadn't wanted to be there when Sondra had been deliberately obtuse in speaking to Will, and had wanted to disappear when Will snapped back.
"Well…that means Will likes you, doesn't it?"
He actually froze in place once Nigel's words struck.
That made sense. It really made logical sense, and that was even more frightening than before. If Will really did like him…she had been jealous because of Sondra. She'd reacted because Sondra was stepping on her toes, and neither Matt nor the foreign girl had realized it. But somehow, Matt's decision to be friendly to Sondra had prompted Will to act.
Matt really didn't know whether to be thankful for that or not. It was nice to be reasonably sure that Will just might like him, but at the same time, he hated that he'd essentially made her jealous to do it. He hadn't even considered that repercussion, by going after Sondra. He knew it was only as a friend, but Will hadn't, and wasn't that what mattered more in this situation? What Will would see, and know?
His head dropped. "I am so stupid."
Nigel blinked at his friend's moan. "What are you talking about?"
"I didn't even think of that when I started hanging with Sondra. I don't even like her that way, Nigel, and now Will thinks I do and—"
"And she's fighting Sondra for you," Nigel countered. "Look, man, you didn't know, so get over it, okay? Nothing you can do now. What you can do is…well, cross your fingers and hope Sondra loses, huh?" Matt had a feeling that Nigel would have encouraged him more, but Will's group entered the lodge and Nigel spaced out, gazing at Taranee.
Matt rolled his eyes, but let it go. What else could he do but what Nigel suggested? His protests earlier had fallen on deaf ears, and he wasn't brave enough to come right out and say that he liked Will and not Sondra. There was something else nagging at the back of his mind about the situation, and it was centered on the obvious rivalry between Will and Sondra.
His fear was that Will was only fighting Sondra for a bus ride because she didn't like Sondra—not necessarily because she did like Matt. He was afraid of making a fool of himself by saying that he liked Will, to stop their ridiculous battle—only for Will to ditch him once it was clear that Sondra had lost.
His eyes scanned her figure as she walked in the midst of her friends. Their group was all whispering to each other in hushed voices, but he had eyes only for Will. Her red hair hung around her pink-cheeked face, and he pretended not to notice her glance at him, then turn around, presenting him with her back. He had no idea what her facial expression was, but he feared that it wasn't a blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. He was afraid that it was disgust in her eyes for showing up Sondra by having to fight for Matt's attention.
Matt shook his head. He was just so paranoid, wasn't he? This was a field trip: he should be having fun, not fielding the attentions of two girls and being caught in the middle of their spat. This was…a mini-vacation, one that he should be enjoying.
One that he should be enjoying with Will wrapped up in his arms, and the two of them laughing and talking by the fire late into the night. A vacation where they should get up early and he'd go skiing with her, like he told her he would before Sondra had shown up while he was talking to Will, and they could sit on the bus together, on the way back home…
Right. As if that was ever going to happen to him, the way his luck was currently going.
He didn't think it could get any weirder, until Will showed up late and wearing a belly-exposing T-shirt in the wintry weather. Now, that would have made this trip utter nirvana—he was a teenage boy, after all—if not for, you know, the situation and all. Sondra and Will being at one another's throats and everything…
Matt had a hard time keeping his eyes on her face and not the exposed skin he could see. And was it just his imagination, or was her hair…longer? And her eyes—well, maybe it was make-up. She pulled herself to the starting line hunched over, like she was afraid to straighten up to her full height. Sondra was playing it cool, wrapped up in her woven coat and warm pants.
Was Will wearing…leggings? And a skirt? Well, she wasn't shivering, so she had to be warm. She had a coat on over the outfit, and the scarf around her face, and a hat on her head, so maybe that was why her hair looked longer and her limbs longer. She was just…dressed oddly.
Matt let it go without question—who knew why girls did what they did? He didn't want to try and figure one out, not right now—and tried futilely, one last time, to try and stop the race before it began. He was sure Will would do fine, but Sondra had bragged about her skiing on the bus ride up. He was a tad bit worried that Sondra would be too good for Will to beat, no matter how much the redhead wanted to win.
This time, just Will snapped at him when he offered his opinion. "Just say go."
Sighing, he had no choice but to say, "Go." He could have said 'no', but then they would have heard 'g' instead of 'n' anyway. Why bother trying?
He had a feeling that with these two, it was better not to try. They were both…stubborn. As far as he could tell, from what little he really knew about both of them.
Will flew off down the hill first, and Sondra took the opportunity to say, "See you on ze bus, Matt," before taking off down the slopes after her. He watched—Will, mostly—as the girls quickly disappeared from sight.
Was it just his imagination, or did Will seem ridiculously shaky as she disappeared from sight? He really hoped it was his imagination…
Matt only saw Will and Sondra after their race was over, and by then Sondra's ankle was sprained. He had a feeling he was lucky that the girls hadn't actually beaten each other up, and that this was just a skiing accident.
He was glad that the race was over with, though. The whole group of Sheffield Institute students made it back to the lodge—a large number of them had been there for the end of the race, and in retrieving Sondra from the site of her accident. She was carried by the ski resort medics to the lodge, where she was released from the medical center and hobbled to a couch in the lobby. Will helped lift her leg onto the couch, in an act of kindness that Matt felt oddly proud of her for.
And then Sondra snapped at Will—in an accent-less voice—for hurting her as Will helped her place her foot comfortably.
Any residual affection Matt had left for her vanished, first from her tone of voice towards Will. And then for what her lack of an accent revealed about her. And finally, for how she proceeded to be torn to shreds by the other girls for her falsity, and lastly for how she reacted to the whole situation once she had been revealed as a liar.
He would have had less of a problem with her lies if she had admitted to them. After all, she had moved to a new school, and wanted to make her best impression on the students there. She had wanted to be liked and wanted, and she had wanted to be accepted.
But once it became clear that she had lied, she should have had the strength to realize that it was over. That she was not going to get the students of Sheffield to like her by being a liar. Matt would have been friends with her anyway, if she had just admitted to it instead of scornfully declaring that she would be moving anyway—that the opinion of her peers didn't matter.
That was even more of a lie. After all, she'd created a whole image for herself out of wanting to be accepted by the very people that she was now writing off as nothing. He glanced to Will, standing beside him. A faint pink blush was spread across her cheeks.
He smiled at her. "The, uh, front of the bus, or the back?" he asked.
Her answering smile was somewhat radiant.
They left Sondra behind on the couch, sulking but still in the company of some boys who didn't seem to think her lies were that big a deal. He and Will walked side by side, away from Sondra's spot.
It took him a second to realize why Nigel was trying his hardest not to smirk at him, but when he got it, he flushed slightly. Yep, that was Will's hand in his. How did that happen? He wasn't sure what to do…and then she let go.
His heart skipped a beat, and he looked at her, unable to stop himself. What was on her face? What was her expression?
His heart soared. A rather beautiful blush was tingeing her cheeks pink, and there was an embarrassed tilt to her head as she looked at the ground, not meeting his eyes. "So, uh…" she said, seeming to search for words.
Matt was vaguely aware that they were alone. That her friends had moved to the fireplace, a laughing cluster of girls with that older guy whom he thought worked at the Silver Dragon that Hay Lin's parents owned. That Nigel had graciously kicked back with his other friends, pretending not to keep an eye on him.
It took him a minute, but then he realized, all of a sudden, that he was talking to Will. Well, not really. More like waiting to talk to Will. But this trip, he'd actually spoken to her, even promised to sit next to her on the bus the next day, on their way back home. This was the first time they'd really spoken since her birthday.
"You want to go sit by the fire?" he asked, surprising himself. The image in his head probably had them in more contact than she expected—wrapping her up in his arms would be a bit too bold of a move, if he made it now.
But she blushed slightly, and said, "Okay." She led the way, him following after her, and they settled into a couch next to one another. The fire warmed them, and she leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands, and looked up at him. "So…" Her eyes glazed for a minute, then she said, "You're in a band, right?"
"Yeah," he replied, surprised that she knew.
"What's your music like? Rock, punk…?"
And, just like that, they settled into easy conversation. It was so effortless that Matt even forgot that it was Will he was talking to. He was just enjoying himself, discussing everything from music to animals to television shows. She left once, to go to the bathroom, and Matt noted in the long few minutes that she left him behind that the rest of her friends—plus that older guy, who worked at the Lin's restaurant—were missing.
But just when Matt was beginning to think that Will wouldn't come back, she entered the room again. Spotting him by the fire, a faint pink stole over her cheeks before she sauntered across the room towards him. He smiled widely in welcome, and their conversation resumed easily as she held out a can of soda for him, opening one for herself.
It was late before they realized that they had to get to their rooms before the teachers chaperoning the trip caught them. Will's room was closer, and Matt walked her all the way to her door to say goodnight.
"It was nice talking to you," Will said, her hand on the doorknob. A shy smile graced her lips as she looked up at him.
"I thought so, too," he replied, trying to dim the grin on his face. "I guess I'll meet you in the morning, before we get on the bus?" His offer was slightly weak, a bit uncertain. She had fun with him tonight, obviously, but he was still a bit uncertain. Maybe she didn't like him the way he liked her, and just enjoyed talking to him as a friend would.
"I'd like that." Her reply told him nothing, because as soon as she said it, she opened the door and slipped inside.
He backed away. He knew that they were cutting it close and everything, but was she just eager not to get caught, or did she wanted to get away from him? Matt decided it didn't matter. He'd doubted enough for the night. Maybe it was time to let it go before it gave him a heart attack. He could always stress out about it tomorrow.
Matt didn't even realize that he'd drifted back to his room until he'd closed the door behind him and Nigel sat up. His friend flicked on the lamp, bleary gaze fixed on Matt. "Dude, you're lucky you weren't busted." Matt just grinned.
Nigel rolled his eyes and collapsed back on his pillow, intent on falling asleep. A few minutes later, Matt was out of his clothes and into sleep pants. He crawled into his own twin-size bed, the one closer to the window, and flicked off the lamp in between the beds. He settled back into the soft sheets, placing his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling.
A wide smile graced his face as he drifted to sleep. It wasn't nirvana, but it was close.
Author's Note: This is my first venture into W. I. T. C. H. Fanfiction. It's mostly prose—not very much dialogue—but I hope that you enjoyed this insight into how I think that Matt thinks. Now, I'm a girl, so if I don't get the male mind right, guys, sorry.
The title is my own little play on words—insight, in sight. Insight means "(1) the ability to see and understand clearly the inner nature of things, especially by intuition" or "(2) an instance of such understanding".
In sight means that (3) something is within visible distance. In this case, the first definition (1) applies to Matt's understanding of Sondra and Will, and of Nigel's understanding of Matt. (2) applies to Nigel's understanding of Matt as well, while (3) is for the imminent arrival of a relationship between Will and Matt, which is within a few episodes of intensifying.
Also, "In Sight Insight" combines to form the idea that Matt's insight is approaching or visible, or even that Will's ability to understand the situation is also close to becoming reality.
And, finally, "nirvana" means (1) the state of perfect blessedness or (2) a place or condition of great bliss. That one is…self-explanatory. :)
And now that that rambling is done and over with, I would love any feedback from you—how I suck, what I need to fix, and what's okay.
Sweetbriar
