I'm baaaaaaaack! Now who missed me? :)
So, here you go! This is the part starting where Derek finds Chloe after her screwy date with Simon up until he finishes his Change.
For the fifth time: 1. Sorry if it's OOC. I'm only human, unlike Derek. (Oh, god, that sounded bad...) 2. I don't own Darkest Powers. Never have. Never will. So sorry to all you people who thought I did. :(
Enough of my senseless chatter! On with the story!
Falling Faster
(Yay! A quasi-good title!)
I looked out the window, noticing- not for the first time- how late it was getting.
Where the hell is Simon? He promised he'd be back before dark!
I growled, then saw Chloe emerge from the forest. I automatically noticed something was wrong. That, and Simon wasn't with her. I opened the screen door.
"No. Not now," Chloe whispered. "Just go back inside."
That confused me. What was she talking about? I made my way over to the necromancer. I saw Chloe look around nervously, then keep walking forward.
"Where's Simon?" I snapped, then winced. That was too harsh.
Chloe pointed back to the woods. I felt anger run through me.
"He left you? Out here? At night?" I felt slightly panicked at the idea of Chloe being alone in the woods. I was still terrified of that nightmare I had a few nights back coming true.
"He dropped something," Chloe said, as if saying that would make me forgive him for leaving her out in the woods. All alone. Where Liam and/or Ramon could-
Chloe tried to step around me, but I blocked her path, smelling the salty tang of tears.
"You're crying?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
"No, I-" she cut herself off, looking away. "Just dust. From the path. Simon's that way."
What. The. Hell. Seriously, does she think I'm that stupid, to believe that crap?
Chloe, again, tried to get around me, but I stopped her, trying to get a look at her face. She looked away from me, so I grabbed her chin. She jerked away, but not before I saw the tear streaks.
Why did she jerk away? Did she think I'd hurt her?
Truth was, I would never hurt her.
"You have been crying," I said softly. What did Simon do to her? If he broke her heart, I swear to god, I'll-
I cut myself off by saying, "What did Simon-?" I realized how bad that sounded and felt my face heat up.
"What happened?" I asked instead.
"Nothing. It just didn't work out."
"Didn't work out?" I spoke slowly, trying to get a grip on the situation.
If it didn't work out, does that mean I can have her? Bad Derek! No! "Why?"
"Talk to Simon."
Nuh-uh. She's not getting out of this one that easily.
"I'm talking to you. What'd you do to him?" I grimaced as I realized what I'd done. God, why do I always say the wrong stuff?
Chloe stiffened, and my curiosity grew.
"I screwed up. Again. You're shocked, I'm sure. Now, let me go inside-"
I blocked her. "What'd you do, Chloe?"
She sidestepped. I wasn't having any of that. I sidestepped.
"You like him, don't you?" I asked.
"Yes, I like him. Just not..."
"Not what?"
"Talk to Simon. He's the one who thinks..."
"Thinks what?" I asked, blocking her again.
"That there's someone else," she said, before taking a shaky breath. "He thinks there's someone else."
"Who?" I asked, already knowing the answer and wondering why I bothered to ask. I felt shocked and horrified that she would like me. I was the monster! Why would a beautiful girl like Chloe fall for someone like me? I didn't deserve her as a friend, let alone a girlfriend! Simon should know that I wouldn't stab him in the back like that!
"Me? He thinks you and I are-"
"No, not that. He knows we aren't-"
"Good. So what does he think?"
"That I like you."
The way she said it, like she was ashamed, had me staring at her. In case you didn't know, I felt extremely conflicted. Should I snap at her? Or should I jump for joy and confess my feelings?
"I don't. I don't" Chloe said quickly. Without stuttering. That meant she wasn't lying.
Ouch. It hurt to know she didn't return my feelings, but I'd always known. I'd just hoped-
"You'd better not," I growled, cutting off my own thoughts so I didn't do something embarrassing. "You'd better not, Chloe, because Simon likes you."
"I know."
"Simon's had girls calling him every day since he was twelve. They follow him at school. They even talk to me, trying to get to him. Cute girls. Popular girls."
"So I should be thrilled that a guy like him even looked my way, right?"
I was mortified. Why did people always mis-understand what I was trying to tell them? "Course not. I didn't mean-"
"Oh, I know exactly what you meant. I should count my blessings that I happened to be around when his choices were, none, really, because otherwise I'd never have stood a chance."
"That's not-" That's not true. It's the exact opposite, actually. Those other girls have nothing on you. No, can't say that. "I never said-" I never said anything like that because I would be lying. You're the most beautiful girl in the world, and those guys who disagree are blind to the senses. No- wait. Who keeps saying this?
"Whatever," Chloe snapped, and headed the other way. I cut her off.
"Simon likes you, Chloe. Yeah, he's dated a lot of girls. But he really likes you, and I thought you liked him back." I half- wanted her to say, I do like him, but I love you a lot more than Simon!, but that so wasn't going to happen.
"I do. Just not... not like that, I guess."
Not like that? Jeez, Chloe! There's this great thing called determining feelings. You should so try it and not make someone think you care!
Hypocrite, a voice snarled in the back of my mind. The same voice that had said those things about Chloe earlier.
"Then you shouldn't have let him think it was like that."
"You think I led him on?" Chloe snapped, bewildered. "For what? Kicks? I don't have enough excitement in my life, so maybe I'll tease a nice guy, get his hopes up, then laugh and skip away? How could I know how I felt until we went out and-?" Chloe stopped, turned, and started walking along the edge of the woods.
"Where are you going?" I called to her, memories of my nightmare coming flooding back to me.
"You won't let me go into the house. I'm sure Simon doesn't want me around him, either. So it seems like I'm going to take a moonlight stroll through the forest."
"Oh, no, you're not," I snarled, jumping in front of her. "You can't go wandering alone at night. It's not safe."
Chloe glowered at me, then seemed to be thinking hard about something. Then she turned towards the woods and resumed walking. "I'll be careful. No dead will rise tonight. Go back inside, Derek."
"You think that's all I'm worried about?" I asked her. "The Edison Group-"
"Could be camped out there right now, waiting for us to venture into the deep, dark woods. If you believed that, you'd never have let Simon go out."
"I didn't like it," I insisted. "But he promised you'd be back before dark, which is why I was at the door, ready to come find you two." I caught her arm, but remembered when I hurt her and grabbed her sleeve instead. "Just-"
I stopped. I smelled something- something that wasn't good. Liam. I turned to the forest, and checked the air.
"Don't pull that," Chloe snapped.
"Pull what?"
"Pretending you smell something out there. Someone."
"No, I thought-" I inhaled again, but the scent was gone.
Damn, I need to stop over-worrying. Even though that can be a very handy thing...
"Nothing, I guess. Just-" Just be careful, because I love you. I didn't say that, though I did keep on questioning where the voice was coming from. I rubbed the back of my neck, wincing as I worked the knots out.
Shit, I'm going to Change tonight. I shouldn't argue with Chloe and get her so pissed that she won't come.
I released Chloe's sleeve, realizing I had been holding on to it. "Fine, take a walk."
I watched Chloe as she set off into the yard, and not the forest. I still followed her, though, just to make sure she would be safe. She turned around and saw me following her.
"Derek..." she sighed.
"I need some fresh air," I said. "Go on."
She walked about twenty feet before turning and glaring at me. I kept my face impassive, trying not to show the hurt I felt inside. I hated it when she was mad at me.
"Fine. I'll go in the house. You can track down Simon before the Edison Group snatches him," she snapped.
I followed her to the door, watching as she went inside, before going off to find my brother.
~~~~~~I love squiggles~~~~~~
I found Simon sitting on an old log, his head in his hands.
"Simon?" I said uncertainly. His head shot up. "You okay?"
My brother sighed and put his head back in his hands, muttering, "I can't believe I took her out on a date when I already knew... I'm so stupid... I didn't stand a chance with her... Especially when it's so obvious that-"
"Simon, you're not stupid!" I snapped, making him look at me again. He shook his head, and went back to muttering.
I went to stop him again, when he murmured, "I can't believe I was in denial for all this time. She cares. God, she cares. Even after he verbally kills her, she still cares."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, pushing down the hope that bubbled in my chest. Chloe doesn't like me. She said it to my face. She doesn't like me.
Nothing.
"Si, we need to go inside. I don't want the Edison Group to find us," I said, scratching my arm.
"You okay, Bro?" Simon spoke to me for the first time, looking at my arm.
"I'm fine, but we need to go in."
My brother nodded, and we went inside.
I tried to sleep, to wait a bit longer until the Change was here, but I couldn't. Right now, I felt like an insomniac. All I could do was think about how horrible today was. I had really pissed off Chloe, the first girl I'd ever liked, let alone fallen in love with.
First girl you've fallen in love with... the voice cooed.
I sighed. Why couldn't I recognize that voice? It was in my head, after all.
My muscles twitched again. I knew I was Changing tonight, but I couldn't bring myself to go and wake Chloe. I had heard her crying earlier, and it made me feel so bad about everything I'd ever done to hurt her. It took all of my resolve to stay in bed and not go to her room and hold her, and tell her how sorry I was, and how much I cared about her.
God, I hate myself so much.
I winced as my arms spasmed. I couldn't take it anymore.
I walked to Chloe's room and knocked on the door.
"Chloe? It's me." I realized that I had probably woken her up, so maybe she wouldn't recognize the voice. "Derek."
Nothing. Even though I knew she was awake.
"Chloe?" I tried again, shifting around uncomfortably. "I need to talk to you."
Again, nothing. I couldn't take it. I opened the door and slipped into her room, ignoring Boy-Brain.
"Hey!" she snapped. "You can't-"
"Sorry," I mumbled. "It's just..." I stepped into the moonlight, hoping she'd see that I was Changing and spring into action.
She didn't spring into action. She didn't get up and lead me outside to Change. She didn't even get out of bed. She just lay back down. I took a cautious step forward.
"Chloe..."
"What?" I winced at the harshness of her tone. Aw, man, she is still pissed at me! I knew she wouldn't come! But I need someone there, and Simon wouldn't be much help. Tori sure as hell wouldn't come. I don't even want her to. And Andrew's terrified of me. So that just leaves Chloe, who's pissed at me with good reason. What's a wolf to do?
"It's... It's starting again."
"I see that," Chloe said, and got out of bed. I sighed in relief. She walked to the window, and I noticed the tear streaks. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her, but I couldn't. Unless I wanted her to run screaming.
"Head down that path about thirty feet, and you'll find a clearing to the left. That should be a good place."
I felt the panic race through my body. Chloe crawled back into bed.
"Chloe..." I tried.
"What?"
I looked at her, scratching my arm. I needed her to come with me. I couldn't do this alone. Not without her...
"What?"
"I-" I swallowed, licking my lips. I tried again. "I-" It was hard asking her to come with me. I'd never had to before.
"I... I need-" I swallowed again, cutting my words off. I couldn't sound desperate, even though I was. "I want..." Shit, this was flipping hard! "Will you come with me?"
She met my gaze, the anger burning bright. It made them look almost ice blue, instead of the deep, ocean blue I was used to. "How can you even ask me that? How many times did you chew me out today? Make me feel like everything's going wrong and it's all my fault?"
My eyes widened. I didn't want to make it feel like it was her fault. I was just so pissed at Margret, and took it out on Chloe. And then, I was mad at Simon for making her cry- I was miffed at her too, but not as much-, and she was right there. And then, with the amulet... Oh, my god! I took it all out on Chloe! I am such a idiot!
"That's not what I meant," I said, brushing back my bangs. "If I hurt you-"
"How could you not hurt me?" She snapped, making me feel like even more of a monster. "This morning, after the cemetery, I needed your help. Your advice. All you could do was make me feel worse than I already did, which, believe me, wasn't easy. Then tonight, with Simon, you acted like that was all my fault, too, even when you could see how upset I was, how bad I felt." She took a deep breath. "After the truck stop, after the trip back... I thought we were friends."
"We are," I said softly, gently, trying to tell her that I did care without giving it all away. What she said next literally broke my heart.
"No. Obviously we're not." She met my gaze, and I felt so miserable and confused and broken.
"Chloe, please," I all but whimpered. I rubbed my throat, trying to get my vocal cords to actually work. "It's coming faster this time."
"Then you should go."
The panic I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt now. "I c- I ca-" I swallowed hard, cursing my damn vocal cords, which were deciding to quit on me the one time I needed them. I looked at Chloe desperately and choked one word out. "Please."
Chloe stared at me for a moment, and her eyes softened. She grabbed her jacket and sneakers.
"Thank y-" I began.
She brushed past me to the door. "Let's go."
I made sure Chloe and I stayed in the shadows, in case someone looked out the window. I stayed beside her on the path, or as close as I dared. I didn't want her to lash out at me and go inside if I got too close to her.
I kept shooting Chloe my special dejected, heartbroken looks, so maybe she'd feel too guilty and not be mad. I know, one helluva thing to do to her, but I really didn't want her to be mad. I even tried to start a conversation.
"You wanted to talk about what happened at the cemetery."
No answer.
"We should talk."
She shook her head. I felt my heart sink.
As we walked around the path, Chloe tried to hang back, but I stayed at her side. I wasn't letting her out of my sight. I tried again to make her forgive me.
"About the other day, when I yelled at you for summoning without your necklace..."
"It's fine."
No, it's not, because I hurt you.
"Yeah, but..." I struggled for a way to say this. "I just wanted to say that testing without it is a good idea. We should try-"
"Don't do this, Derek," she said, turning to me.
"Do what?"
"I'm coming along for your Change, so you feel obligated to help me in return."
I scratched my arm. "I don't-"
"Yes, you do. Now, let's find a place before you start Changing in the middle of the path," she said. I was glad she interrupted me before I said something stupid.
I kept scratching my arm. "I just want to-"
She caught my hand, making my heart pound. "You're making yourself bleed," she said softly. I looked down and tried to focus, but it was kinda hard with her still touching me.
"Oh."
"Come on," Chloe said, turning off the path. I followed her, assuming she was heading for the clearing she had told me about earlier.
"I heard what Andrew said this morning. About me," I said.
"I figured you did," she said, surprisingly soft. She cleared her throat.
"He's got a point," I said. It felt like I was stabbing myself in the back, saying that. But I wanted to warn her, to give her a heads up before my Change. Where the sudden nervousness about it came from, I have no idea. "I'm not-"
"You're fine. Andrew's an idiot," she snapped, surprising us both. "He's wrong, okay? You know that. Let's just drop it."
Okay, I'll drop it. But I won't forget the edge in his voice, or the way he talked about how some of my instincts make me feel obligated to help the females I'm close to like it was a bad thing.
"When I blew up at you about the cemetery, I... I didn't mean to. I'm frustrated and-"
She cut me off, wheeling on me. "Please. Just stop, okay?"
I tried to stop, but found myself continuing. "I was frustrated with the situation. Being stuck here. The Change coming on makes it worse. I know that's not an excuse." I looked at her expectantly, wanting her to say that maybe my Change did explain things.
"Chloe?" God, I sounded like a wounded puppy, waiting for its mistress to come heal me.
Instead of answering, she said, "Is this okay?"
I heard a whistle. I jerked my chin up, trying to find out where the sound was coming from. I asked Chloe if she heard it, too. Of course, she said no. I decided I was just imagining things.
Then, I walked into the clearing, murmuring, "Good, good." Then I stripped off my sweatshirt for Chloe to sit down on. "You can sit here."
I watched her for a moment and said, "Remember the other night at Andrew's? When you came out to keep me company, and we tried doing some training with you? We should do that again." I couldn't help it; I needed her to forgive me.
She sighed. "You aren't going to quit, are you? You think if you can just say the right thing, it'll all be okay."
I held back a laugh. She was pretty close. "I can hope, can't I?"
"Sure. And if it works, what does that make me? You get to treat me any way you want and as soon as you decide to play nice, all is forgiven."
"I am sorry, Chloe."
"For now. Forget it, okay?" she said, turning away from me. "Let's just-"
I caught her elbow. "I mean it. I'm really sorry. When I get mad like that, it's not- it's not-" I released her arm and rubbed the back of my neck.
"You need to get ready."
"No. I need to say something. Just give me a sec."
I then realized I had no idea what to say to her. I wanted to tell her that I cared, even though I snapped at her constantly, but then I would have to explain why I always snapped at her. Which would be because I wanted to scare her off. Not like that, but my subconscious decided that I was a huge threat to Chloe, so I tried to get her away from me- to keep her from getting hurt. Even though I always have to be there constantly just to make sure she was safe...
"Derek, you need-"
"I'm fine. Just give me-" I took a deep breath.
"Derek..."
"Just one sec," I said, and started to scratch my arm. Why did it choose now to itch? Chloe moved forward to grab my hand, and I stopped. "Right, right."
I flexed my hand, then made a fist so I wouldn't scratch or caress Chloe's face. God, when did it get so damn hot out here? I took a breath. "I tell you not to be scared of me. I snap at you when you back away. But sometimes..." I trailed off, trying to think of how to word this correctly. I started to scratch my shoulders and winced as my nails dug in.
"Derek, you have to-"
"Sometimes that's exactly what I want," I said in a rush. "That's what I'm trying to do- scare you off."
"So you don't accidentally hurt me," Chloe sighed. She sounded... wounded. "You aren't going to-"
"No," I cut her off, "it's not that. It's-" It's because I don't want to physically hurt you. My hand went to my forearm, but I stopped when I saw dark stubble sprouting.
"You're Changing, Derek. We'll talk later."
"Right. Yeah. Later. Good." I looked around one more time.
"You need to get down."
For some reason, I couldn't move. My mind was disconnected from the rest of my body. Chloe grabbed my hand and tugged. I lowered myself to the ground, but it was hard. Damn Change.
"Unless Margaret brought you a lot of new shirts, you might want to take that one off," Chloe said softly.
I nodded, and tried to take off my shirt, but I couldn't. I guess the Change had made my arms stiff, and the joints had started repositioning.
"Here. Let me help," Chloe said awkwardly. I stilled when I felt her hands gently brush my stomach when she grabbed the hem of my shirt. She pulled my shirt over my head, and even under the circumstances, I felt myself get bigger in certain places.
"I'm not gonna take off your pants," she warned. I nodded, and managed to pull them down to my knees. Chloe took it from there. I kept my shorts on, and prayed to whoever was listening that they wouldn't rip, or that I could complete my Change.
I barely had my clothes off before my Change started, beginning with full body spasms. My spine bent at a painfully impossible angle, and I let out a whimper, then spewed my dinner into the bushes. I wondered how anyone could watch this and not run off in terror.
After my first of several spasms- groan- Chloe moved forward and started to rub my back.
"It's okay, you'll be fine, Derek. You're doing fine. Hang in there; it'll be over soon," she whispered.
The pain was unbearable! It felt like I got shot in the chest- repeatedly-, and then got hit by a train- repeatedly. The only thing that made all of this actually livable, as cliché as it sounds, was the fact that everyone back at the safe house needed me. And the fact that I wanted to be able to kiss Chloe before I died.
"You're getting there," she whispered. "It's coming faster this time."
I don't know why, but her voice gave me greater comfort than anything ever could. I felt myself relax, even if just a little.
Then, another spasm hit. I felt my body convulse over and over. My entire body Changed, and I had to admit, it scared the crap out of me. This was the farthest I had ever gone.
My body continued putting me through this hell until it stopped, taking most of my energy with it. As I struggled for breath, Chloe rubbed my back. I leaned against her, needing more contact and just wanting comfort. It was hard to keep myself up on all fours, and I felt my muscles tremble and scream in protest. Chloe moved forward, and I rested against her. I reveled in her scent, and how soothing it was to know she was still here. She laid her head on my shoulder, making my shudders slow down.
"You're almost there. Keep going. You're going to finish this time. Just-"
I cut her off by tensing, then my back shot up, knocking her aside. My body went rigid, head down, my back raising higher and higher. My head sank lower. I felt my bones crackle.
"Chloe..." I tried to moan, but it was probably too guttural for her to understand it.
"It'll be okay. You'll get through this, Der," she whispered, rubbing my back again.
I shuddered one final time, and all of the pain left. I turned to look at Chloe, and realized something.
It was done. I had completed it. I was a wolf.
So, what did you think? Too cheesy? Too sappy? And what did you think of the mysterious voices Derek's hearing? What do you think they are? There is a Part Two, so don't worry! And if you're all confused about about the whole 'I'm scared of my nightmare coming true' thing that was going on, just read A Nightmare To Remember. Unless you're against M-rated stuff. Even though it's not really that descriptive...
… And I'm babbling. Not a first, though.
Rate and Review, PLEASE!
:) - WiccaChick98 (or Jess, if you would rather call me that)
** Here's a small favor. I want to know how many of you guys read these Author's Notes at the end. Please review and tell me if you do.
Not that you would if you didn't, cause you wouldn't know to...