{DISCLAIMER:} I don't own Harry Potter and the gang- they're Rowling's- nor
do I own the song "I Hate Everything About You"-Three Days Grace owns that.
I simply own this fantasy-er, I mean idea!
{WARNINGS:} Well, slash. Some cussing. And I suppose a bit of violence, too, but it's all in love *smiles*.
{AUTHOR'S NOTES:} Like mentioned in the disclaimer, the song to which this songfic. is written to is "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. I highly suggest that you listen to it either before or while you read this. Why? Because it rocks. And it's not only the lyrics that are important- the music definitely helps set the mood for this story. If you haven't heard it, and want to, you can go here: {h t t p : / / w w w . h y f n t r a k . c o m / t h r e e d a y s g r a c e / t o t a l a s s a u l t / }
This story was written quite a few months ago. I was looking back through some old files, and I found it, so I thought "Hey, I haven't posted anything for a while, why not post this?"
So, this is just me trying to ease my way back in to the writing world. I thought I'd give this HP/DM thing a try, since I love reading it so much.
{Harry's POV}
{I Hate, You Hate}
--Wicchick--
The yells still ringing in my ears from our most recent confrontation made it nearly impossible for me to sleep. So I stayed awake, thinking . . . for a while. It must have been around midnight, because all I saw as I stared out of the dormitory window was a velvet-smooth blackness.
I hate you, Malfoy. I bloody hate you so much. All you ever do is insult me, sneer at me, search for a weakness and attack it once it's found. I can't get away from you-you seem to always be there, ready to strike. It's almost weird for you not to be here right now, towering over my shoulder and smirking. It's not like I miss you, it's just that I'm used to you. Thank the gods that you're not here now. I just need to be alone. Your insults never got to me so much before, but now it's all I think about. It's ludicrous, but I almost live just to piss you off. I hate you that much.
The good part is that I know you can't sleep either. I've recognized the usual look in your eyes as the same one that I must have when I can't get your cruelty out of my mind. Who knows how long we'll throw stones at each other, but I won't be the first to quit, and neither will you. You'll put all your energy into breaking me. You just hate me that much.
{"Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet."}
But how do I hurt you? What's YOUR weakness? What do I have to do to make you miserable? Because I'll do whatever it takes. I've been tossing and turning for what feels like hours. Shoot, I think I woke someone up. It was probably Ron-he's a light sleeper. I can hear mumbling . . . oh, wait- I've woken the whole room up.
"Harry! We're trying to sleep. Stop huffing already, or thinking, or whatever the bloody hell it is you're doing and go to sleep!"
"Yeah, Harry, it's not just Ron. You're keeping me, Seamus, and Dean up, too! I can hear your bed sheets rustle with every movement you're making, and I swear, if have to hear you growl one more time- !"
"Sorry," I respond quietly, as I abruptly stop mid-turn. I really am sorry. They shouldn't have to lose sleep because of me. Well, it's really Malfoy's fault. He's the one I'm growling at, even though he's not here to hear it. Oh well, it's the thought that counts. I hope his friends are angry with him, too. He's awake right now, I know he is. I think I get to him, too. Good. Merlin, how I hate him. He's so mean, and cruel, and sour, and . . .
{"Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet."}
Why do I keep thinking about him?! I should be able to get him out of my mind. He never used to bother me so much before. Honestly, I think about him so much that it's as if I'm in love with the ferret. Hah, the idea! I'm being absurd . . .
{"Only when I stop to think about it . . ."}
I hate him. I don't care for him. Really, I just hate him so much that I might as well love him, but I love him. I mean, I don't love him. DON'T! That was just a mistake, I meant 'don't'. My thoughts are just confused.
But . . . I was getting used to him always being here. No, not at night, just during the day. And days can be quite long. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Isn't there a theory about this? That anything taken to the extreme becomes it's opposite? Like, hatred can become love? But I hate Voldemort, and I sure as hell don't love him!
Maybe it only applies to Malfoy. I don't know how this happened, but it must be . . . I can't get him off my mind, and I don't want to. Shit, what's wrong with me? Have I been in denial, putting up a deceptive mask of hatred? But it can't be because I definitely hate him. Whatever, I just . . . I need to see him. Now. I need to tell him this-that somehow, I hate him more than anything, and yet . . .
{"I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?"}
I creep out of bed, unfortunately making noises, and get my invisibility cloak out of my trunk. Wrapping it around myself, I clumsily stumble out of the dorm to the angry sounds of roommates too tired to inquire as to where I'm going so late at night. But I don't care anymore. I'd just stay awake all night, anyways. I might as well do something about what's bothering me so much. And I'll bet anything that Malfoy's having the same problem.
I've just realized something- that look in his eyes that I recognized as one found in my own wasn't just hatred. It was passion-passion that started out as hatred and somehow evolved into l-love . . . but the hatred will always be there. It is the basis of our "relationship".
{"Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet."}
I've made it out of my common room. Now where? You wouldn't still be lurking about in your dormitory or common room- I know you too well to think that. You are definitely a man of action. But . . . oh, off course. It must be-after all, it's where I'd have chosen to go. And enemies always know each other well; they have to. We're connected, Malfoy. In some sick way, our abhorrence towards each other has connected us in a way that only enemies could understand.
The entrance doors to the Great Hall are just ahead of me, but it's not entrance I'm seeking; I'm already inside. As the doors creak closed, I pull my father's cloak off. I want HIM to see me . . .
{"Only when I stop to think about it . . ."}
I see you. You're looking right back at me, smirking. You can't hide behind that smirk forever, Malfoy. It wont work-I already know. I know, because I feel it, too.
I come toward you, and you to me. It's now that I realize that you're not hiding behind your smirk. It's on your face to show me that you know. I can tell you're puzzled, too, but at least you know how you feel. We'll save figuring out why for another time.
Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. Oh, how I hate you. I hate your smirk. I hate your stance. I hate the way you're walking towards me . . .
{"I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?"}
Just think: if it hadn't been for all our fights, we wouldn't be here. If we had been able to get each other off our minds, we wouldn't have come out here, tonight. If we didn't hate each other so much, we wouldn't love each other.
{"Only when I stop to think about you, I know.
Only when you stop to think about me, do you know."}
We're close now. Physically closer than we've ever been to each other without evil intentions in mind.
{"I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me,
Why do you love me?"}
As we stand face to face on the edge of the Forbidden Forest I hear a howl. Werewolves, I'm sure. And this has given me a wicked idea.
I grab you forcefully from behind your neck, bringing you even closer to me. And I bite you. Well, what else would I have done? It's the perfect expression of our love-hate relationship. Not surprisingly, you struggle to dominate this battle, and force me to the ground. It's animalistic now- you're absolutely wild with passion, an intricate mix of loathe and lust. I growl low in my throat, a warning that I plan to strike again. But I have no time to. Your tongue is already struggling against mine.
We kiss with a fierce intensity, rolling over as we each struggle to be on top. And then we brake apart and jump to our feet again-this is where our hatred takes over. My hands turn to fists, and I swing at your face, hitting you square in the jaw. You punch my stomach, letting all your anger out on me, and I just barely avoid doubling over. Anger flares inside of me once again, as flashbacks of you handing me over to Umbridge replay in my mind. My jaw tightens, remembering how you insulted Sirius. As I lift my fist once more, you pull my face close to yours and force me into another brutal kiss. I can't decide whether this is heaven or torture, but it doesn't make a difference now- our hatred and love are both so strong that whichever feeling we have will continuously transform into the opposite and then back again, making it an endless cycle.
{"I hate,
You hate,
I hate,
You love me."}
My lip's bleeding.
Your cloak's missing
My shirt is torn.
Your hands are gripping me.
As you ensnare my waist and I grab a fistful of your messy spikes of hair, I feel the need to make one thing clear to you:
"I hate you, Malfoy. I hate everything about you," I manage to pant out between ragged breaths.
"I'll always hate you, Potter," you respond jaggedly.
Then it's a truce: we'll always be the best of enemies.
{"I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?"}
**************************************************************************** **********************************************
Sorry about the format. I tried to fix it to put italics, bold print, and centered texts in, but I'm not computer savvy.
I know, where have I been? No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...not completely, anyways. I've just been busy. Seriously, high school is a killer! And, to be totally honest, I've drifted more towards the poetry side of writing rather than stories. But I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at ff.net.
{WARNINGS:} Well, slash. Some cussing. And I suppose a bit of violence, too, but it's all in love *smiles*.
{AUTHOR'S NOTES:} Like mentioned in the disclaimer, the song to which this songfic. is written to is "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. I highly suggest that you listen to it either before or while you read this. Why? Because it rocks. And it's not only the lyrics that are important- the music definitely helps set the mood for this story. If you haven't heard it, and want to, you can go here: {h t t p : / / w w w . h y f n t r a k . c o m / t h r e e d a y s g r a c e / t o t a l a s s a u l t / }
This story was written quite a few months ago. I was looking back through some old files, and I found it, so I thought "Hey, I haven't posted anything for a while, why not post this?"
So, this is just me trying to ease my way back in to the writing world. I thought I'd give this HP/DM thing a try, since I love reading it so much.
{Harry's POV}
{I Hate, You Hate}
--Wicchick--
The yells still ringing in my ears from our most recent confrontation made it nearly impossible for me to sleep. So I stayed awake, thinking . . . for a while. It must have been around midnight, because all I saw as I stared out of the dormitory window was a velvet-smooth blackness.
I hate you, Malfoy. I bloody hate you so much. All you ever do is insult me, sneer at me, search for a weakness and attack it once it's found. I can't get away from you-you seem to always be there, ready to strike. It's almost weird for you not to be here right now, towering over my shoulder and smirking. It's not like I miss you, it's just that I'm used to you. Thank the gods that you're not here now. I just need to be alone. Your insults never got to me so much before, but now it's all I think about. It's ludicrous, but I almost live just to piss you off. I hate you that much.
The good part is that I know you can't sleep either. I've recognized the usual look in your eyes as the same one that I must have when I can't get your cruelty out of my mind. Who knows how long we'll throw stones at each other, but I won't be the first to quit, and neither will you. You'll put all your energy into breaking me. You just hate me that much.
{"Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet."}
But how do I hurt you? What's YOUR weakness? What do I have to do to make you miserable? Because I'll do whatever it takes. I've been tossing and turning for what feels like hours. Shoot, I think I woke someone up. It was probably Ron-he's a light sleeper. I can hear mumbling . . . oh, wait- I've woken the whole room up.
"Harry! We're trying to sleep. Stop huffing already, or thinking, or whatever the bloody hell it is you're doing and go to sleep!"
"Yeah, Harry, it's not just Ron. You're keeping me, Seamus, and Dean up, too! I can hear your bed sheets rustle with every movement you're making, and I swear, if have to hear you growl one more time- !"
"Sorry," I respond quietly, as I abruptly stop mid-turn. I really am sorry. They shouldn't have to lose sleep because of me. Well, it's really Malfoy's fault. He's the one I'm growling at, even though he's not here to hear it. Oh well, it's the thought that counts. I hope his friends are angry with him, too. He's awake right now, I know he is. I think I get to him, too. Good. Merlin, how I hate him. He's so mean, and cruel, and sour, and . . .
{"Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet."}
Why do I keep thinking about him?! I should be able to get him out of my mind. He never used to bother me so much before. Honestly, I think about him so much that it's as if I'm in love with the ferret. Hah, the idea! I'm being absurd . . .
{"Only when I stop to think about it . . ."}
I hate him. I don't care for him. Really, I just hate him so much that I might as well love him, but I love him. I mean, I don't love him. DON'T! That was just a mistake, I meant 'don't'. My thoughts are just confused.
But . . . I was getting used to him always being here. No, not at night, just during the day. And days can be quite long. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Isn't there a theory about this? That anything taken to the extreme becomes it's opposite? Like, hatred can become love? But I hate Voldemort, and I sure as hell don't love him!
Maybe it only applies to Malfoy. I don't know how this happened, but it must be . . . I can't get him off my mind, and I don't want to. Shit, what's wrong with me? Have I been in denial, putting up a deceptive mask of hatred? But it can't be because I definitely hate him. Whatever, I just . . . I need to see him. Now. I need to tell him this-that somehow, I hate him more than anything, and yet . . .
{"I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?"}
I creep out of bed, unfortunately making noises, and get my invisibility cloak out of my trunk. Wrapping it around myself, I clumsily stumble out of the dorm to the angry sounds of roommates too tired to inquire as to where I'm going so late at night. But I don't care anymore. I'd just stay awake all night, anyways. I might as well do something about what's bothering me so much. And I'll bet anything that Malfoy's having the same problem.
I've just realized something- that look in his eyes that I recognized as one found in my own wasn't just hatred. It was passion-passion that started out as hatred and somehow evolved into l-love . . . but the hatred will always be there. It is the basis of our "relationship".
{"Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet."}
I've made it out of my common room. Now where? You wouldn't still be lurking about in your dormitory or common room- I know you too well to think that. You are definitely a man of action. But . . . oh, off course. It must be-after all, it's where I'd have chosen to go. And enemies always know each other well; they have to. We're connected, Malfoy. In some sick way, our abhorrence towards each other has connected us in a way that only enemies could understand.
The entrance doors to the Great Hall are just ahead of me, but it's not entrance I'm seeking; I'm already inside. As the doors creak closed, I pull my father's cloak off. I want HIM to see me . . .
{"Only when I stop to think about it . . ."}
I see you. You're looking right back at me, smirking. You can't hide behind that smirk forever, Malfoy. It wont work-I already know. I know, because I feel it, too.
I come toward you, and you to me. It's now that I realize that you're not hiding behind your smirk. It's on your face to show me that you know. I can tell you're puzzled, too, but at least you know how you feel. We'll save figuring out why for another time.
Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. Oh, how I hate you. I hate your smirk. I hate your stance. I hate the way you're walking towards me . . .
{"I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?"}
Just think: if it hadn't been for all our fights, we wouldn't be here. If we had been able to get each other off our minds, we wouldn't have come out here, tonight. If we didn't hate each other so much, we wouldn't love each other.
{"Only when I stop to think about you, I know.
Only when you stop to think about me, do you know."}
We're close now. Physically closer than we've ever been to each other without evil intentions in mind.
{"I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me,
Why do you love me?"}
As we stand face to face on the edge of the Forbidden Forest I hear a howl. Werewolves, I'm sure. And this has given me a wicked idea.
I grab you forcefully from behind your neck, bringing you even closer to me. And I bite you. Well, what else would I have done? It's the perfect expression of our love-hate relationship. Not surprisingly, you struggle to dominate this battle, and force me to the ground. It's animalistic now- you're absolutely wild with passion, an intricate mix of loathe and lust. I growl low in my throat, a warning that I plan to strike again. But I have no time to. Your tongue is already struggling against mine.
We kiss with a fierce intensity, rolling over as we each struggle to be on top. And then we brake apart and jump to our feet again-this is where our hatred takes over. My hands turn to fists, and I swing at your face, hitting you square in the jaw. You punch my stomach, letting all your anger out on me, and I just barely avoid doubling over. Anger flares inside of me once again, as flashbacks of you handing me over to Umbridge replay in my mind. My jaw tightens, remembering how you insulted Sirius. As I lift my fist once more, you pull my face close to yours and force me into another brutal kiss. I can't decide whether this is heaven or torture, but it doesn't make a difference now- our hatred and love are both so strong that whichever feeling we have will continuously transform into the opposite and then back again, making it an endless cycle.
{"I hate,
You hate,
I hate,
You love me."}
My lip's bleeding.
Your cloak's missing
My shirt is torn.
Your hands are gripping me.
As you ensnare my waist and I grab a fistful of your messy spikes of hair, I feel the need to make one thing clear to you:
"I hate you, Malfoy. I hate everything about you," I manage to pant out between ragged breaths.
"I'll always hate you, Potter," you respond jaggedly.
Then it's a truce: we'll always be the best of enemies.
{"I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?"}
**************************************************************************** **********************************************
Sorry about the format. I tried to fix it to put italics, bold print, and centered texts in, but I'm not computer savvy.
I know, where have I been? No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...not completely, anyways. I've just been busy. Seriously, high school is a killer! And, to be totally honest, I've drifted more towards the poetry side of writing rather than stories. But I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at ff.net.