One Last Breath

by CaelansFolly92

Sasuke spirals deep into depression. Is there any hope for the lost? Rated T for suicide, some morbid humor, and some cussing. Songfic to One Last Breath by Creed.

One Last Breath

Uchiha Sasaki-chan

Summary: Love hurts. Sometimes it even kills. Tragic NaruSasu songfic. Rated T+ for character death and dark themes. Song is One Last Breath by Creed. I do not own Naruto, or the song.

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Please come now

I think I'm falling

I'm holding onto all I think is safe

It seems I've found the road to nowhere

And I'm trying to escape

"Hey, isn't that…?"

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yeah, I heard they let him out of jail on probation."

"What's the point of releasing him period? Once you're a traitor, you're always a traitor."

Yeah, keep talking. I'd love to kill all of these bastards. Believe me, I would if I could. The only reason I came back was that I wanted to be near the one that I love.

I know what you're thinking. How could I, Uchiha Sasuke, the lowly village traitor, the lone surviving member of the most reviled clan in Konoha, care about anyone other than myself?

The reason I came back was Uzumaki Naruto. He kept on chasing me when everyone else had given up on me. I thought about him the entire three and a half years I was away. His sky blue eyes; his huge grin; his golden hair; I missed every part of him while I was away. I even missed his obnoxious yelling. I was kind of relieved when I got captured by Anbu agents in the woods around Konoha; honestly, I hadn't been looking forward to the prospect of having to either kill Naruto or be killed by him, though I'd deserve the last one after the way I'd treated him.

But since I've been released from the prison and put under Anbu supervision, Naruto has only come to visit once. The one time he came, on my seventeenth birthday a month ago, he was cold and distant. I tried asking what was wrong, but he just brushed me off. We got into a fight over it, and in the end he walked out without even a goodbye. That night I lay in bed and cried, because I was so stupid… I'd been foolish enough to think that Naruto really cared about me. I was blinded by my love for him. I'd ignored what was in front of my nose.

Of course Naruto wasn't going to stick around. Why would he? I wasn't deserving of his company. I'd brushed him off for years even before I left the village; why should he treat me any differently? Karma is finally coming back around to bite me in the ass.

I walk through the gates of the front yard of the house where I lived with my parents and older brother Itachi and now live alone, away from the prying eyes of the rest of Konoha. It's also the only place where the Anbu don't follow me. They're probably afraid I'll murder them if they step inside. I take a grim satisfaction from this. At least they leave me alone inside my own house. It's the only place where I can feel like a human being with feelings, not like some dangerous animal stuck in a cage for everyone's viewing pleasure.

I yelled back when I heard thunder

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say

"Tadaima," I mutter to no one as I walk in and take off my shoes. The stray grey kitten I brought in when I first got released two months ago, Kuroyuki, comes dashing out of the living room and twines herself around my legs. I wearily bend down and scratch her behind the ears before making my way to the kitchen, where I make myself a tomato sandwich. I eat half, not really tasting it, and put the rest of it on the floor for Kuroyuki. She bats and paws at it, and I sigh.

"Don't play with your food," I scold her half-heartedly as I walk over to the knife block. Taking out a knife with a serrated edge, I begin to drag it across my arms.

Yes, I know cutting is unhealthy, but I've been so close to death so many times… What's another near-death experience? And who would care? Besides, the physical pain helps me hide the pain that I feel inside. The pain of killing my brother for revenge and then realizing too late that my revenge had been directed the wrong way for so long; the pain of isolation from everyone I'd known before I left; the pain of Naruto's indifference toward me. All of that drips away with the blood, swirling down the drain in the kitchen sink.

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge

And I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down

Even if Naruto wasn't already disgusted with me, what would he say if he knew I was in love with him? He'd move as far away from me as possible. Nobody likes a faggot. This is the thought that goes through my mind as I dig the blade into my forearms again and again, laying new cuts over the barely healed ones from throughout the week and the old scars from almost a month ago, spelling out "Naruto" on one arm in katakana and "faggot" on the other.

I hate myself so much. I'm almost hoping that soon one of the cuts will hit a major vein and I'll bleed to death. No one would care anyhow. I'm just a traitorous fag with no friends to speak of. The only request I'd have is that someone needs to take care of Kuroyuki. Of course, if they didn't, she could just subsist on my dead body… After all, I wouldn't really be using it. It's a morbid thought, and I laugh bitterly and mirthlessly.

A knock on the front door startles me out of my reverie and I panic a little. Dropping the knife into the sink I scrub it until all blood is off the blade. Rushing to my bedroom, I take off my short sleeved tee-shirt and exchange it for a long sleeved black tee.

Going to the door, I open it a crack to reveal Naruto. I'm sure I must look surprised, because he raises an eyebrow.

"What's with that look?" he asks.

"N-nothing," I stammer. 'Smooth, Sasuke. Now he'll know something is up.'

His eyes narrow in suspicion, and I know he doesn't buy it, but he nods.

"Hey, can I come in?" he queries.

"Uh, sure," I say, standing aside for him. I really hope I didn't leave any traces of blood in the sink…

Naruto goes into the living room. I follow, and we sit down on the couch facing the fireplace, upon which are many photos of me and my brother and parents, back before he killed them. back before our family was torn apart. back in happier times. Naruto looks at them, and I see a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. Whether it's for his own parents that he never really knew or for some other reason, I don't know.

"Well," he says, "uhh, how are you?"

"I'm fine," I say irritably. "You?"

"Pretty good," he says. "Tsunade-baachan named me as her successor to the title of hokage, so I'm getting ready for the inauguration ceremony and all…"

"I'm glad," I say, forcing a smile. "Your dreams are finally coming true…"

"Yeah," says Naruto, though for some odd reason he doesn't look happy about it. Why wouldn't he be happy? He's got everything he ever wanted. He's got the hokage job, he's finally gotten the recognition he so craved, and he's got so many friends now. Why wouldn't he be happy?

"Hey listen, Kakashi, Sakura, and I have been worried about you. I've been busy with all the paperwork for the succession, but I asked Kakashi to stop by a few times, and he's told us things."

My stomach grows cold. Did Kakashi find out about the cutting, or how sometimes when I can't sleep I take enough Vicodin to relieve the migraines of five people? I can't recall off the top of my head anything Kakashi might have seen, but I am sure as hell not going to the psych ward; the last thing I need is for people to start talking about "that unhinged Uchiha brat" or something. Granted, every day I feel like I'm losing more and more of my grip on reality, but that's not the rest of Konoha's concern.

I'm looking back

Now that it's over

Reflecting on all of my mistakes

I thought I found the road to somewhere

Somewhere in His grace

"Like what things?" I bite out.

"Well, for one there's a certain listlessness in your demeanor," says Naruto, ticking off things on his fingers, his ocean blue eyes holding my gaze. "You look paler than usual, there are dark shadows under your eyes, and you're losing too much weight. The only point of comparison I have for what you look like right now is either Sai or a vampire; you look that bad."

"And what are you?" I ask bitterly. "My doctor or something? So I can't sleep. That doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong."

Naruto looks hurt, and I feel guilty, but also slightly vindicated.

"Well excuse me for caring," he snaps. "I was just making the observation that you don't seem to be sleeping well, and you need to eat more because you look as skinny as hell."

"Well, you can just leave me alone!" I snarl. "I don't need your help or your pity!"

I make to get up from the couch and he grabs my wrist, causing me to involuntarily shriek in pain as he clamps down to keep me there. He immediately lets go as if burned, looking at me in apprehension, then he looks down at his hand. I suddenly can't breathe, because my sleeve is wet, and his hand is the color of blood. Three guesses whose blood it is.

I try not to look at him.

"Sasuke," he finally says, sounding slightly sick, "is this what I think it is?"

I try frantically to scramble away from him, but he grabs my arm again, ignoring the second cry of pain, pulls me to him and pulls up the sleeve, revealing his own name carved meticulously into my arm, only visible through the other cuts because the wounds are still dripping blood.

I cried out "Heaven save me"

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say

There's a long silence where Naruto looks at me and I stare down at my arm so that I don't have to see his disgust and horror.

"How long has this been going on?" he finally asks quietly. When I don't respond, he releases my arm, only to grab the other one and pull up the sleeve, revealing the word "faggot" carved and then recarved into my arm, so that I never forget how lowly I really am. After all, aren't faggots the lowest of all?

"How long, Sasuke?" he repeats in a louder tone, taking me by the shoulders.

"Almost a month," I whisper, not trusting myself to speak any louder, lest the tears gathering in my eyes and slowly dripping down my cheeks turn into a flood.

"Why?" he asks. When I don't answer he shakes me roughly.

"Why, goddammit?" This time he yells it, and I flinch but shake my head.

"Goddammit, Sasuke!" he yells in frustration. "Answer the fucking question! Why are you doing this to yourself!"

"Because you all hate me!" I scream at him, the pent-up anger and fear and pain exploding from me, all directed at the one person who doesn't deserve it. "Don't deny it; you only came to visit me once in jail, and when I got released you were cold and indifferent! You only came to visit me once after I got released, and then you were brusque and snapped at me when I tried to ask you what was wrong! You left without saying goodbye and haven't talked to me or looked at me before today! Nothing!"

"Why are you so fixated on me?" cries Naruto.

"Are you really that stupid? It's because I love you, you dumbass!" I shout.

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge

And I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down

The effect that those simple words have on Naruto would be almost comical if I were in the mood for a bit of comic relief. His eyes bug out and his jaw drops. He's staring at me as if he's never seen me before. I can't tell if I'm imagining it or not, but there might be disgust in those blue pools of light.

"What?" he finally says.

'It's just like you thought,' the nasty inner voice tells me, 'no one likes a faggot. Not even Naruto, who chased after you for so long.'

"I-I-I…" I stammer. The tears brim over, and I turn tail and run, leaving Naruto standing there.

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge

And I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down

I'm so far down

I run down the hall to my room and slam the door, then slide down it, sobbing. 'He hates me, he hates me, he fucking hates me,' is all that I can think. It repeats over and over in my head, like an inexorable drumbeat. I hear Naruto calling my name, but I lock the door and go into the bathroom, locking that door too.

I finally know how Naruto felt all those years ago. No one liked him because he was a jinchuuriki. He was called that demon child. Now the tables have been reversed; he's the popular one, and I'm the one that's demonized. I don't know how he could handle it, because I feel like I'm breaking under the pressure.

Sad eyes follow me

But I still believe there's

Something left for me

So please come stay with me

'Cause I still believe

There's something left for you and me

For you and me

For you and me

There's only one course left for me, one remaining way out. Turning on the faucet in the tub, I fill it up with warm water. Next I grab a straight-edged razor from the cabinet. It was one of Father's; when I was younger I used to watch him shave and wish that I had facial hair so that I could shave too. Of course, now I know that you don't necessarily need any kind of hair to use a razor.

Putting the razor down on the toilet seat, I climb into the tub, my clothing becoming soaked. Picking the razor back up, I drag it down each arm, opening up the major veins in both. The water is clouded red, and I can already feel myself getting weaker. The pain isn't sharp like it normally is when I cut; it's a dull throbbing one, one that's taking more of my life with every wave. I don't need a doctor to tell me that I succeeded. It's finally over. The pain, the hatred, the suffering… It's all finally over.

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge

And I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down

The bedroom door slams open, and after a few seconds of jostling so does the bathroom door. Naruto stands there, flanked by the two Anbu who were outside of my front gate, his face a mask of horror.

"Oh my god, Sasuke," he whispers, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, "what have you done?"

Running to the tub, he pulls me out. I don't even have the energy to struggle against him. Black is gathering at the very edge of my vision, and I know I don't have much time left. The thought comes as a relief.

"Let me die," I say quietly as he attempts to stem the bleeding. "It's what you all have wanted since I came back. I've been a burden, and now I'm relieving you of that burden."

"You idiot!" Naruto screams, tears falling from his eyes and landing on my face. "You didn't stay and listen to what I had to say! You never do! You… you bastard!"

"Well," I say, laughing a little, a laugh without any humor in it, "whatever it is, you had better say it now while I can still hear you."

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge

And I'm thinking

Maybe six feet ain't so far down

Instead of saying something, Naruto takes his own Anbu sword from its sheath and plunges it into his own muscular chest. As I watch, wide-eyed, he coughs blood and then curls up with his head on my chest.

"W-why?" I ask.

"D-don't you see… Sasuke?" he asks, smiling. "My biggest dream w-wasn't to be the hokage. It w-was to be with you. I-I would have asked y-you… to be my boyfriend on your birthday, b-but I was scared…"

Darkness is closing in gradually. I'm desperately willing myself to hold on, just one more moment.

"I c-can't live without you, Sasuke," he whispers. "I-I love… you…"

"I'm sorry… Naruto," I say. "I love… you too."

He presses his lips to mine, a slow, delicate, loving kiss that tastes of blood, and I return it, trying to put all of my emotions into that kiss as my vision finally fails, because it's the last chance I'll ever have to show Naruto how much I love him…

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I wake up, and my body is bathed in a soft silvery light. My first thought is, 'How could I not have died?' After all, I did open up the major veins in both arms. When I get a good look around, my second thought is 'Is this the World between Worlds?'

Everything is black, except for what looks like a star shining in the distance. All Around me are the shades of people long past. Maybe they're still waiting for something; I don't know how death works. There's no sign of Naruto, and I frown.

"Where am I?" I ask out loud, not really expecting an answer.

"Sasuke?" says a familiar voice, and I turn to see Naruto standing before me, smiling, free of blood stains, and with no blade through his chest. He's bathed in a golden pulsating light.

He pulls me to him and kisses me like he did when we were on the bathroom floor, and I return the kiss, gently tugging his hair to deepen the kiss. Nothing matters anymore; nothing except Naruto, and the sensation of his lips on mine. And of course, we now have forever together, so there's more where that came from.

He brushes my hand with his fingertips and I take it, smiling my first genuine smile in what seems like for ages. I feel him smiling too as we link our hands together.

"We'll never be separated again," he promises.

"Be sure you can keep that promise," I tease, "because here, 'never' is a pretty long time."

Naruto laughs, and the sound is music to my ears. I laugh too, and Naruto looks at me in surprise.

"What?" I ask him, nonplussed.

"I've never heard you really laugh before," he says, and I shift self-consciously.

"You don't like it?" I ask quietly.

"No, I love it!" exclaims Naruto, grinning. "It's beautiful, like the tinkling of wind chimes."

I laugh again and pull him to me in a brief kiss.

"I love you, Naruto," I say, pulling away.

Naruto smiles happily.

"I love you too, Sasuke…"

Hand in hand, we begin our journey into the unknown, knowing that even without a direction, we still have each other, and that's all that matters anymore. Death is just the next big adventure. Love is forever.

Please come now

I think I'm falling

I'm holding onto all I think is safe

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I'm sorry… I know it's depressing, but I'm a biiiiig sucker for double deaths, especially suicides, where the two people confess their undying love (no pun intended) for each other before they die. This is especially true if those two someones are Sasuke and Naruto.

This is not to say that I condone cutting or suicide. I was a cutter, and trust me; you do not want that kind of stigma placed on you. I also attempted suicide, and you don't want to do that. There are people in the world who care. So don't do it. What I do condone is reviewing, so DO IT! Please review!

Oh, and just because I like Creed does not mean I'm a Christian. I know there are some people out there who think that just listening to a Christian rock band means you're a Christian, so I'm disabusing you of that notion right now. The messages in their songs are nondenominational and the tunes are great. This one just happens to mention God in the Christian sense.

As for Sasuke's dark, morbid humor, if the imagery of a pet subsisting on your dead body is too gruesome for your sensitive mind, then too bad. Get over it. This isn't a happy-go-lucky fic; it's a deathfic. And Kishimoto, Sasuke should have a morbid sense of humor in the actual series. It would make him that much funnier. Not that he needs the help, seeing as he's batshit crazy and gets batshit crazier with every passing chapter, but still.

Sasuke: D: Hey! I am not batshit crazy!

Me: 8) You could've fooled me. –Smiles innocently-

Sasuke: Grrrrrrr… #-_-

Me: Nyah! XP Review! 8D