Well, it's been a year, FanFiction. Can't quite say I've escaped my slump, but I try to get something posted this time every year. Fortunately, my muse decided to stop being so fickle and allowed me to write this. It's a similar setup to Blondes Have More Fun, but Naruto is much different, and believe me when I say the plot got a complete overhaul.
I view first chapters as introductions, so you'll probably have questions by the end. Trust me, you'll get answers.
He groaned, an intense throbbing in his skull keeping him from doing much else. Unable to see anything but indistinct blurs, he tried to listen to his surroundings. "Who's the kid?" he heard someone with a thick Australian accent ask.
"No idea. Must be a newbie." a deeper voice with an American accent responded. He shook his head, trying to regain his bearings. Despite the lingering headache, he could now focus enough to look around the room. He quickly noticed that he was surrounded by an odd group of people, most of them seeming to be in rather foul moods. Of the seven people, he only recognized one; Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend. He may not have been overly familiar with the criminal underworld, but there wasn't a Gothamite in the world who didn't know who the Joker was. She didn't seem to notice him staring at her, so he shifted his attention to the other criminals in the room.
The most curious sight was undoubtedly the large fish-man. A mask had been strapped to his face, he assumed to keep him from biting anyone. Not too far from him was a woman dressed like an ice skater. Aside from her strange outfit and her hands being completely encased in steel cuffs, she wasn't particularly notable. He was more curious about the black man dressed in the ninja outfit. The man seemed to notice him staring, because he quickly found himself the recipient of a fierce glare. Not wanting to get into a fistfight in a place he didn't know, he looked away.
"Am I still in prison?" he openly wondered, surveying the stark white room.
"Not exactly, kid." the owner of the American voice responded. He was a large man with a goatee. Before he could ask him any questions, their attention was drawn to the shark man, who was trying to eat the ice skater. He made to stand up, ready to intervene, but the woman kicked him in the groin and slammed her cuffs into his chin, knocking him flat.
"I almost miss my cell. At least things made sense there." the large man smirked at the comment.
"Stop!" a firm voice erupted, instantly bringing everyone's attention to its owner. An obese black woman with a fierce glare was standing in a doorway that he could swear was not there a moment ago. "Sit down." Remarkably, every one of them obeyed. She stepped further into the room, her glare not receding at all. "I'm Amanda Waller. I'm here to indoctrinate you into our special forces."
"I'm not a soldier, lady." he protested, having no desire to fight for the people who'd locked him up.
"Pass." the ice skater said bluntly.
"I kill to keep degenerates off the streets. I won't work alongside them." the ninja gruffly responded. The Australian responded in the positive, mentioning time off of his sentence. That bit got his attention.
"Time off?" he turned to Waller, a great deal more curious than he had been. "You should have led with that." Waller went on to explain that the 'special forces' she mentioned were a specific team called Task Force X. Apparently, they took skilled criminals and sent them on impossible missions in exchange for lessening the time of their sentences. It didn't sound like the worst deal in the world, he thought. Of course, then the catch appeared; there were tracking devices embedded in their necks that were also bombs, and Waller had the trigger. 'Guess refusing isn't really an option.'
"What's so dangerous that you had to bring in the newbies?" the goateed man inquired. He found himself wondering that himself, particularly why Waller saw fit to include him in all of this. He was just a punk who knew how to fight. He didn't really compare to the shark man.
"You're going to break into Arkham Asylum." the other criminals voiced their objections almost immediately, Harley's exclamation of 'Yahtzee!' being the only positive response. He had more to say.
"You want a group of criminals to break into an insane asylum? Why?" Waller's glare deepened slightly, but she remained silent. He heard a beeping coming from his neck. 'The bomb?'
"No questions." Waller ordered. Despite his desire to respond, he bit his tongue and nodded. The beeping faded immediately. Content in his obedience, she proceeded to lay out the mission; the Riddler had hacked into her system and downloaded a list of every criminal that worked in her 'Task Force X' as well as what they had done for her. He could see why she considered this important. An information leak like that could ruin her career. She explained that the only copy he had was in a thumb drive hidden in his cane.
"So bribe a guard to steal it." he interjected. It seemed pretty simple to him.
"And if the guard gets caught, it could be traced back to her." the goateed man responded. "This gives her plausible deniability. We succeed, she gets what she wants. We fail, she had nothing to do with it." he sighed.
"Never easy, is it?" the man smirked. "So I guess now I know why she's here." he gestured to Harley, who seemed positively giddy at the thought of breaking into the asylum.
"Indeed. Harley Quinn has an encyclopedic knowledge of its layout and logistics." Waller confirmed.
"Not worried she'll try to bust out the clown?" he noticed the goateed man eyeing Harley, presumably wondering the same thing.
"We're done. He's a jerk." Harley responded, a hint of anger gracing her face. He looked back to the goateed man, eyebrow raised. The man's eyes returned to Waller.
"You'll be snuck into Gotham. Once there, you'll rendezvous with a power broker who will set you up for the break-in." she seemed to focus on him and the goateed man in particular. "This is as off the grid as it gets, so keep the body count to a minimum. Deadshot, rubber bullets only." the now identified Deadshot eyed him, clearly curious about why Waller seemed to think he would be a concern when it comes to body count. 'Something tells me this won't be the last I'll hear of it.'
"Be good convicts." Waller said, leaving the room. "I'd hate to have to blow you up." a smug smirk came upon her face. "I'm clear. Gas them."
"What us?" Harley shouted before purple gas began pumping into the room. The door immediately slammed shut. He could feel the effects almost immediately, his vision already beginning to blur.
'Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse…' he thought before hitting the floor, his world fading to black.
So that's chapter 1. Like I said, not much revealed, but that's the point. Provided my muse stops torturing me, chapter 2 should roll out soon. If that's the case, I likely won't continue Blondes Have More Fun, as it's likely to be far inferior to this. Hope you enjoyed it!
Forever in the Sky,
The Red Star