Ch 1: The First Task
Sirius Black was sitting on his couch and he was very confused. He was also sad because he couldn't toilet train his pet Cantaloupe named Bunion.
"Remus, Why don't I have a job?" asked Sirius to his roommate Remus Lupin. He then remembered that Remus was upstairs playing Checkers with an obese Mexican jumping bean.
"REMUS!" Yelled Sirius "Get Down Here!"
While waiting for Remus to get down there Sirius tried to run into a wall, missed and ran into Snape, who was staying at the house because his wife had kicked him out of his house.
"Grunt!" grunted Snape angrily.
"Sorry, Grandpa you beef!" said Sirius like an idiot who thought his enemy was his Grandpa.
"HOW DARE YOU! I AM NOT YOUR GRANDPA! YOU HAVE INSAULTED EVERYTHING THAT IS SALTY AND SALT COTED!" Yelled Snape pulling out his wand.
"But you look just like my grandpa!" said Sirius. And to prove his point he pulled a picture of his Grandpa. Sure enough the picture was almost identical to Snape.
"AAAGGGGHHH!" Roared Snape like a person who had just found out he looked almost identical to his enemy's grandpa. To release his anger he started beating Pencil's.
Sirius then practiced his dance moves and prank phone called Professor Mcgonigal.
Remus finally arrived wearing a long blonde wig.
"I have decided to go blonde. " He explained. Sirius didn't hear him on account of he was rolling on the flour laughing. Remus frowned. He had a feeling if asked he would get a ridiculous explanation. He asked anyway.
"I'm laughing because I prank phone called Mcgonigal!" explained Sirius.
"What's a phone?" asked Remus in a confused way.
"I don't know," said Sirius also in a confused way. 'Remus why don't I have a job?"
"Because your hiding from the police, Sirius" said Remus rolling his eyes. Was it possible to be that stupid?
"What if I got a muggle job?" whined Sirius " I want a job really bad!"
"People would still recognize you. Stupid-head. You are so stupid that a five year old Midget is ten times more intelligent than you." Said Remus matter-of-factly.
"But I'll wear a disguise! Watch this!" Sirius turned around. When he turned back to Remus he was wearing a fake mustache. He then grabbed the wig of off Remus' head and put it on his own head.
Remus started to laugh and roll on the flour because Sirius now looked like a blond woman with a bushy black mustache. He also started to cry because his wig was gone.
"Yay!" said Sirius "I can now go get a job! YAY! Yay! YAY!" Sirius continued saying "Yay" and dancing for approximately twenty-two minutes.
Then while Remus still was laughing on the flour Sirius left the house in search of a job that suited his personality.
Later that night Sirius got home and went into the Living room and took of his disguise. Remus and Snape were both standing upside down on his head facing each other for some strange disturbing reason.
"I've got a job that suits my personality!" cried Sirius "I'm an heroic and much loved…"Someone did a drum roll "ice-cream man!"
"He's an idiot" Snape told Remus
"I know," said Remus
"But an attractive Idiot" cried Sirius "And now I'm an Ice-cream man! Hurray!"