Alucard leaned back in his chair, and looked listlessly around his room. Nothing but the cold, hard stone walls stared back at him. He pulled his Jackal out of his coat, and looked at it. No fun for you tonight he thought to himself, and stripped the mighty weapon. There was a knock at the door.

'Come in…' he boomed. The small, skinny frame of Seras crept in the door.

'What's the matter, Master?' she said nervously.

'Excuse me?' he said, pulling components out of the gun, not looking up.

'What did you need me for?'

'This night… is so quiet.' He announced, with a little hint of disappointment.

'That it is, Master. And your problem with that is…?'

'My problem,' said the fearsome vampire, 'is that this is the twelfth time tonight I have stripped and reassembled my Jackal this evening.' Quickly he reassembled the gun, peered across the sight at Seras, and stowed it back in his jacket. 'My problem,' he continued, 'is that if I spend another minute in this dungeon, I shall go mad.'

'So what do you suggest?' Seras asked nervously, a little afraid she knew what he had in mind.

'Let's go out.' Alucard said, standing up. 'Let's spend an evening doing the things that human folk find so interesting.'

'Like what?'

'Well… this is why I needed you tonight. I have no idea what anyone finds fun anymore… but you know.'

Seras racked her brains. What could be the most harmless place she could take him? Definitely not any pubs or clubs - that would mean a lot of trouble. She didn't know if alcohol could get Alucard drunk, and didn't want to find out if it could, or how a drunk, immortal and very powerful vampire like Alucard would get when pissed. Then she hit upon a great idea. It was one of the most harmless places she could think of. The arcade. He couldn't possibly get into any mischief there, she thought to herself. If she was lucky, he would end up wasting a few pounds in a slot machine, get bored and go home.

'I know somewhere, Master!'

The arcade was offensively noisy, beeps and bangs and the clattering of change from all the game and slot machines. Gaggles of kids studied Alucard nervously, though some were the kinds of kids who habitually dressed like corpses.

'This is where humans go for fun?' he looked intrigued and disappointed at the same time.

'Well, I used to enjoy a night on the games machines when I was young, Master, give it a try.'

'Oh, okay…' he spied a game in the corner, 'I think that one looks 'fun'.'

The game in question was rather a popular one, and Seras suspected that her master only went over to it so he could use his intimidating profile to scatter the hoards of youngsters around it. It was a shooting game. Ghoul Attack was the name.

'So how do you operate this?' Alucard said, looking first at the screen, then at Seras.

She helpfully dropped a coin in the slot, and the game roared to life.

'Use the gun, there, and shoot the ghouls before they attack you.'

'Sounds familiar, eh Police Girl?' he chuckled to himself, and proceeded to lay waste to wave upon wave of pixellated ghouls. Alucard's glee was only matched by the large crowd that gathered around the machine, for he was still on his first life by the tenth level.

Seras sighed to herself. This was a good idea. Nothing had gone wrong, no damage, no deaths, and no paperwork to fill back at HQ. She knew that Alucard's detachment from the human world for so many centuries meant that he often found modern life very strange, and, even though he'd never admit it, intimidating. Walter told her once of Alucard's first experience of TV – or the 'enchanted box' as the vampire had called it – and the number of new TV sets they had bought to replace the ones Alucard had 'sent back to Hell.' To Seras, this was a breakthrough. Her master had taken his first, uneventful step into human society, and communicated in the only way he knew how - by shooting undead beasts.

Her thoughts were broken by the harsh, cackling laughter of her master, after despatching a record number of ghouls, and making his was to the final boss. His eyes widened at the sight of a foul, ten-story high zombie, equipped with two very scary looking machine guns.

Perhaps Alucard got caught up in the moment. Perhaps he forgot that it was a game. Whatever the reason, the vampire laughed wildly, and, booming 'bring it on!' he whipped out his jackal, and pounded all six bullets into the screen. Children shrieked, sparks flew and broken glass exploded everywhere.

'Master!' Seras yelled angrily. 'What did you do?'

Alucard looked at her in puzzlement. 'What? Didn't you see the size of that thing?'