Title: Sweet Release
Author: Phoenix Song
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling
Summary: Many years have passed since Remus Lupin last saw Sirius Black - their long-awaited reunion rekindles his love and passion for the man he thought he'd lost forever . . . Sirius/Remus slash.
Author's Note: Takes place in Harry's third year at Hogwarts. Apparently, I originally wrote this in 2004 *gasp*, before the series was finished, I believe. I recently found it on my computer and decided to edit and post it . . . or re-post it, I can't remember. It was formerly called 'Bittersweet Reunions'. Thanks to everyone who reads and/or reviews!
##
Remus inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet scent of the earth. He loved walking around Hogwarts' grounds at night. It was so serene, so peaceful, so . . .
A dog?
In the distance, Remus could see the shadow of a large black dog disappearing into the darkness. His eyes widened in disbelief and his heart caught in his throat.
'No,' he thought. 'It couldn't be - could it?'
He pursued the running figure, following it to the very base of the Whomping Willow. The soiled beast soon disappeared into the roots of the tree. The moment it vanished, the tree began to swing its limbs to and fro, attempting to beat away any passersby.
The professor quickened his pace, picking up a stray stick along the way. Avoiding the swinging boughs, he prodded the tree's knotted root with his stick. The branches immediately stiffened - not a single leaf twitched or shook. Smiling inwardly, the werewolf hurried into the dark tunnel beyond before the Willow could regain its motion. He retrieved his wand from his pocket and muttered, "Lumos!" The end abruptly lit up with a dazzling light.
With a stooped back, Remus dashed through the low tunnel, occasionally stumbling on the soft, uneven ground. Droplets of sweat began to form on his forehead - not so much from running, for he had journeyed through this burrow many times before. No, it was the anxiety of once again coming face to face with his childhood friend . . . his former lover . . . the only man who could complete him . . .
Eventually, the tunnel came to an end and Remus saw a faint light in the distance. He hastened forward eagerly.
"Nox!" he whispered and the light at the end of his wand went out.
The werewolf pulled himself out of the hidden hole, entering a small, shabby room. The paper was peeling from the walls, there were stains all over the floor, and every piece of furniture seemed to be broken or smashed. Ignoring all the rubbish, he made his way towards the entrance chamber's only door. Remus glanced over his shoulder to look around the room one last time before entering the dark corridor beyond. The hint of a grimace formed on his lips as he surveyed it, recognizing . . .
Remembering . . .
##
Remus didn't know how it happened and it was years later before he even realized why it happened. All he knew was one moment, he and Sirius, both teenagers in their sixth year at Hogwarts, were in the Shrieking Shack, waiting for James and Peter to arrive; the next, Sirius had him pressed up against the wall and was kissing him passionately.
Remus was slow to respond, shyly and hesitantly moving his inexperienced lips over his friend's. Then reason suddenly seemed to return to him. He placed his hands on Sirius' chest and gently pushed the other boy away.
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, not unkindly. "I thought you wanted this?"
"What do you mean?" Remus snapped, trying to sound sharp. Unfortunately, he was distracted by how handsome Sirius was looking tonight.
"That's what I mean," Sirius said, having noticed the way Remus' eyes had darkened with lust. "I've seen the way you look at me." He lowered his voice. "I know how much you want me."
Remus could feel the blood rush to his face and he determinedly stared at his feet, avoiding Sirius' gaze.
"It doesn't matter," he said quietly. "You wouldn't want me. No one would want a werewolf . . ." He glanced up with newfound fire in his eyes. "And even if you did, I wouldn't just let you have your way with me and throw me aside like all the others!" His body started to shudder slightly from his anger. Remus clenched his fists and focused his concentration on keeping his beast inside. It worked . . . for the time-being. Unfortunately, tonight was night of the full moon, so he wouldn't be able to hold it off for long.
"Do you think so little of me?" Sirius asked, sounding more mature than he usually did. "I would never do that to you - you're my friend, Moony. I lov- I care about you too much to ever hurt you like that." His face flushed as red as Moony's and he fervently hoped the latter hadn't noticed how he switched his words in mid-sentence.
Unfortunately for him, Remus had. He looked into Padfoot's eyes, trying to search for any sign of jest or pity, but he saw neither.
"Were you going to say you loved me?" he asked softly, yearning to hear the response but, at the same time, afraid of what it would be. "And don't even think about lying to me, Sirius," he warned. "Not about this."
"Not 'loved', 'love'," Sirius corrected. "And I don't care that you're a werewolf. If I did, I wouldn't be here with you now, when you're about to be at your most dangerous." He reached out and cupped Remus' jaw with his hand.
Tears shone in the werewolf's wide eyes and he hastily blinked them away. Damn his monthly hormones!
"It's a part of who you are," Sirius continued. "I love you, every part of you, and I wouldn't change a thing."
##
Sirius slumped onto the bed as he reverted back to his human form. He could hardly believe whom he just saw outside - a number of questions were nagging at his mind, refusing to give him a moment's peace.
'Remus is here? Does he still think I was the one who betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort? Does he remember what we once shared?'
"Does he still . . . love me?" He voiced this last question aloud, eager for the truth yet dreading to hear it.
Sirius had seen him. He had actually seen Remus, here, at Hogwarts! Where everything began . . . where everything seemed to have ended . . .
The man sighed, draping an arm over his eyes agitatedly. Inwardly, he was scolding himself for running away so abruptly. The brave canine inside him didn't have the courage to confront Remus, not tonight. He didn't even dare to let the werewolf catch of glimpse of him, only going so far as to watch his old friend from a distance.
Remus appeared to be taking a midnight stroll, one of the activities he had always enjoyed doing while he attended Hogwarts as a child.
'Except he used to walk with me,' said a nasty voice at the back of Sirius' head.
While he was in Azkaban, the Dementors had stolen all Sirius' joyous memories of Remus from him. However, now that he was free and could think of nothing but the werewolf, he didn't think he was much better off.
Suddenly, he noticed the grimy doorknob across the room twisting slowly - someone was trying to enter! Sirius jumped to attention, his teeth bared in defense although he had already changed back into a human. His jaw almost dropped open in surprise when the door opened and Remus stepped inside.
"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed in astonishment.
The other man's eyes didn't shift even once, still holding onto Sirius' gaze with a quiet hunger.
'I can't believe he's returned here, to the Shrieking Shack, after all these years,' Remus thought.
"What are you doing here, Moony?" Sirius asked, his voice shaking ever so slightly.
'And why aren't you speaking to me?' A lump formed at the back of Sirius' throat. 'Did he only come here to pity me?'
Remus' words caught in his throat and he was unable to form a response. This was his lover (he refused to think of Padfoot as his 'former' lover), the man he had yearned to see for thirteen years! Why was so hard to talk to him now?
"Moony?" Sirius asked softly, anxiety written all over his face.
"Padfoot!" the word burst unbidden from Remus' mouth as he ran to embrace his lover. His arms wrapped tightly around Sirius' skinny body, as if he never wanted to let him go. Hot tears streaming unashamedly down his face.
"Shh . . ." Sirius soothed, stroking the werewolf's - his werewolf's - hair affectionately. "It's been a long time," he murmured.
Remus' sobs rang clearly through the room. His tears soaked into Sirius' clothes, staining the black fabric to an even darker shade. He clutched at the dog's robes, desperately seeking a hold.
"Padfoot . . ." he wept. "I missed you. I missed you so much."
"Shh . . . It's in the past. We can put it all behind us now."
Remus tightened his hold.
"No, we can't! Years have been wasted while you were in Azkaban . . . I don't ever want to let you go again - my heart isn't strong enough to lose you a second time. Please say you'll never leave me."
Sirius' throat worked. Much as he wished to utter those words, to make the promise his lover so dearly wanted to hear, he found he was unable to - it would be a lie. He regretfully pulled away and turned aside, glancing idly at the bed before him.
"Listen to me, Moony," he whispered, "much as I want to, I can't stay with you. If the Ministry were to find me . . . if the Ministry were to see you with me . . ." he trailed off sadly. Sirius quickly blinked back his own tears, refusing to let them fall.
"Sirius," Remus began.
Sirius' head shot up. He knew the werewolf was being serious when he called him by his birth name rather than his childhood nickname.
"Sirius," Remus said again, wiping away fresh tears from his face. "You were . . . James and Lily's . . . secret keeper . . . and now . . . people . . . everyone is saying . . . you . . . you killed . . . James and Lily," he stammered.
Padfoot's head hung in despair, unable to look Remus in the eye. He knew this unpleasant subject would have to come up at some point, despite all the history he and Remus had together. Although Peter was the man everyone should be blaming, including himself, he couldn't help but feel guilty about his best friends' death.
"Please, Sirius . . . tell me it isn't so," Remus begged, placing a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Please . . . tell me the truth . . . Say it isn't so . . . Tell me you didn't . . . kill them."
Hearing the pleading tone in the werewolf's voice seemed to shatter Sirius' heart.
"I just as well killed them, Remus," he said. The hand on his shoulder was immediately snatched away as if it had been burned.
"What do you mean?" Remus choked out, sniffling slightly.
"I persuaded James and Lily to make Wormtail their Secret Keeper instead of me. I thought it was a brilliant plan, that Voldemort would never have suspected such from weak thing like him to hold such an influential position, but . . . clearly, I was wrong." His face darkened. "That mistake will haunt me to my grave."
"Wormtail? But Peter Pettigrew is dead."
"No, he isn't. I managed to corner Peter on the street one day, hoping to bring him back to the Ministry for a full confession," the dog explained, "but he actually outsmarted me. With his wand behind his back, he killed those thirteen muggles. Then he cut off his finger and hurried down into the sewers with the other rats before I was able to catch him. Ministry members came right then and there to take me away . . . to Azkaban," he added bitterly.
Throughout this whole pronouncement, Remus had remained silent.
Sirius finally raised his head and was surprised to see more tears rolling down Remus' cheeks.
"Please, stop crying, Moony," he said, wiping the tears away with his thumb.
"All these years," said the werewolf, "and I believed you were the one who betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort . . . I'm sorry I didn't ask the truth of you sooner. I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and pulled him into his warm embrace. "But please, Padfoot, please know I never stopped loving you."
Sirius rested his head on Remus' trembling shoulders.
"I forgive you," he whispered into his friend's ear. "I forgave you long ago, even if you didn't know it."
Remus smiled mildly. His hold on Sirius tightened and more tears slid down his face.
"How you must have suffered! Azkaban is such a terrible place."
Sirius' arms circled Remus' waist.
"Shh . . . Let's not think about that tonight, Remus," he said lustfully, breathing his hot breath onto Remus' sensitive nape.
The werewolf pulled back slightly, only to lean in again to firmly press his lips against Sirius'. He moved his mouth against the dog's, savouring each taste, every sensation.
Sirius responded in turn by crushing their bodies together. His tongue slipped into the other man's mouth - tasting, reveling, remembering . . .
Remus broke the kiss and nuzzled his face in the arch Sirius' neck.
"Please, Padfoot," he whispered, "don't let me go. Don't ever let me go."
Sirius' arms immediately tightened around the thin, trembling form in his embrace.
"Never again, Moony," he replied, forgetting his earlier inhibitions. "Never again." He tenderly rubbed his rough, stubbled cheek against Remus' smooth one.
The professor closed his eyes, relishing the rough friction and yearning to feel that friction on other parts of his body as well.
"Make love to me, Sirius," he pleaded.
His lover shivered slightly in anticipation. How he longed to hear those words from Remus' mouth, for him to beg so. Hearing his name spoken so lustfully awakened a fire in Sirius he had long forgotten.
"Please, Sirius. I need you."
Sirius needed no further prompting. Easily lifting his lover's light frame from the ground, he carried Remus to the bed and gently lowered him to rest on the aged comforters. His mouth immediately fastened itself to the sensitive hollow near Remus' neck, moistening it with saliva. He then blew cool air onto the wet skin.
Remus arched under Sirius and clawed at his lover's back, desperately seeking a hold. He firmly clasped the dog's clothing, bunching the fabric together in his fists. Remus' grip tightened when he felt Sirius slip his hands into his robes and caress the heated skin beneath.
Sirius ran his hands along Remus' sides, feeling the angled rib bones. He delighted in its softness, yet at the hardness of the muscles beneath. The smell emitting from his lover was neither artificial nor fragrant. It was the smell of sexuality, of Moony - his Moony. His fingers trailed along Remus' abdomen, fondling the soft trail of curls leading from his navel to . . . A low, needy groan formed in Remus' throat and he bucked his hips against the other man's waiting hand. Sirius slid his palms down further until he discovered the hard length of velvet enclosed in the folds of clothing.
"Enjoying yourself?" he teased.
The werewolf didn't reply. Instead, he pulled Sirius in for another passionate kiss and thrust his tongue into the warm cavern of his lover's mouth.
Sirius closed his eyes, meeting Remus' tongue with his own. Slowly, he undid the clasps on Remus' robes and pushed the garment away. Then he cupped his lover's bare shoulders affectionately, feasting on the exposed skin with relish.
Remus let out a series of moans; his hands were now on Sirius' bottom, urging his hips forward.
"Stop teasing me, Padfoot!" he cried out.
Sirius continued his tantalizing strokes while he grinded his body against Remus'.
"But I love hearing you moan," he whispered against the other man's chest. "Moan louder for me, Moony." Padfoot once again slid his hands into Remus' clothing to cup his lover's throbbing member. He pinched the head gently with the tips of his fingers.
The werewolf moaned louder, wrapping one leg around Sirius' waist.
"I want more, Padfoot!" he demanded, arching into Sirius' touch. "Stop talking and give me more!"
"More you shall have, Moony," was the husky reply. Sirius swiftly stripped his lover's trousers off and threw them aside.
Remus gasped aloud when he felt a blast of cold air on his throbbing erection. Free at last from its constricting tightness, his arousal became even harder, twitching slightly in anticipation. The professor nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Sirius' mouth fasten onto his aching member.
Sirius bobbed his head to an uneven rhythm, tasting the salty drops of Remus' pre-cum on his arousal. His tongue danced along the heated skin, tracing delicate patterns on his lover's eager body. He lazily dragged his teeth along Remus' most sensitive flesh, making the werewolf groan loudly with pleasure. At first, Sirius' talented tongue swept lightly over Remus' member. Then he began to suck the rigid length until he was only able to hear the blood pounding in his ears. His tongue pushed itself into the small cavity at the tip of Remus' sex, teasing the slit to no extent.
The werewolf moaned helplessly, bucking the velvety organ into his lover's mouth. His hands tangled into Sirius' hair, encouraging the other man to continue with his delicious ministrations. Remus groaned loudly when Sirius' hands came up to fondle the twin globes under his iron member, arching ever higher off the bed. With a soft cry, Remus came, spewing generous amounts of cum into Sirius' mouth.
Padfoot swallowed his lover's cum, relishing the salty, masculine taste of Remus' essence before moving up to kiss Moony once more;
Remus moaned into his lover's mouth, his tongue swirling eagerly about, savouring the wonderful combination of himself and Sirius' own sexual taste. He clenched the folds of Sirius' clothing tightly in his fists. The intensity of his orgasm left him blinded for a moment, leaving him drowning in his waves of pleasure.
Gasping for breath, Sirius pried himself away from Remus' slightly swollen lips. After a moment or so of watching the werewolf's eyes glaze over with fulfilled desire, Sirius captured Remus' mouth once again, unable to resist yet another taste of his lover.
"I want to be inside you," he requested huskily.
Breathing deeply, the professor nodded, burying his hands into the thick, matted hair of the dog.
"I thought you'd never ask." He drew Sirius in for a deep kiss, just about stealing the breath from the latter's chest.
When they broke apart, Sirius eyes were dark with newfound lust. He moved back just far enough to strip himself of his own clothing before settling himself on top of the werewolf. After hastily preparing himself by spreading saliva and pre-cum over his rock hard length, he thrust into his lover's hot, velvety depths. Sweat trickled down his face as Sirius slowly drove his member into Remus, just barely maintaining his self-control.
Remus shifted slightly beneath him, closing his eyes.
Sirius immediately ceased his movements, worried he had hurt his lover with his haste.
"Don't stop," Remus said, his eyes fluttering open.
Sirius hesitantly continued, moving his hips in circular motions as he did so to stretch his lover's inner muscles.
"Oh," the werewolf moaned. He arched against the other man's chest, drawing Sirius' erection deeper into his body.
After a few moments, Sirius' manhood was fully sheathed.
"Are you hurt?" he asked anxiously.
"No," Remus replied, his eyes clouded with sheer lust. "Move, Sirius, please," he begged, tightly clutching Sirius' shoulders.
"You never have to beg for me, Remus," was the reply. Sirius withdrew sharply, and - just as rapidly - he thrust into his lover once more.
"Ooh . . ." Remus sighed, savouring the intense jolts of ecstasy that coursed through him.
"You feel so good, Moony," Sirius breathed lustfully. "So hot . . . so tight . . . so right . . ."
"Oh, Padfoot!" Remus cried out. "Sometimes you drive me mad with desire! But I wouldn't have it any other way . . ."
Sirius extracted himself and re-entered the answering heat once more.
As he was impaled by the other man again and again, the werewolf pushed back to press his lover's manhood deeper into his body, re-discovering the natural rhythm between them.
Sirius inhaled Remus' unique sexual scent, his senses overwhelmed with lust. He began to thrust faster, deeper, harder . . .
"Sirius!" the werewolf gasped, surprised by this sudden show of energy.
"Remus," Sirius panted, taking on some of his canine characteristics. "I . . . love you . . . so much."
If anything, the words aroused Remus further. He could feel his body hurtling towards another orgasm, plunging towards a desperatelyneeded release.
Sirius was quick to notice the signs.
"Now, Moony?" he asked, slamming his hips frantically against the other man's firm backside. His hand snaked forwards to touch his lover's straining member.
"Not . . . yet . . ." Remus managed to gasp, weakly batting the hand away.
The other man smiled slightly, re-positioning himself to impale his lover from a new angle. His motions became more erratic and feral as he neared his own release.
Remus moaned and his hands clutched the bedspread, desperately seeking a hold. His hips bucked wildly as he rode the bolts of sexual pleasure.
Sirius started to notice the fire that was slowly seeping into his nether regions. He grimaced stubbornly as he drove into the professor - he would be able to hold out for a little longer, if . . . no! He had to cum now!
"Moony . . . please . . ." he said through his heavy breathing. "I can't go on."
The werewolf's fingers clawed desperately at his lover's back.
"Now, Sirius!" Remus yelled out.
"Now?"
"NOW!"
Once more, Sirius reached out to stroke the werewolf's arousal, only this time, Remus didn't intervene. Padfoot's hand roughly grabbed his lover's length while his own member drove deeply into the hard, sweaty body.
"Cum for me," Sirius whispered, tightening and twisting his grip almost mercilessly.
In no time at all, the werewolf came, crying out hoarsely as he did so. His inner muscles contracted, rippling along Sirius' shaft and forcing the other man to climax as well. With one final thrust, the dog finally gave into his release. The impact of their orgasm left both males immobile for some time. They lay silently on the bed, waiting for their breathing to return to its normal pace.
After some time, Sirius extracted himself from his lover's body and wrapped his arms around the werewolf.
"I love you, Remus," he said, his brain still clouded with lust. "I would like nothing better than to hold you in my arms forever."
Remus leaned his head back onto the other man's shoulder.
"I love you, too, Padfoot, my Padfoot." He yawned widely, closing his eyes to succumb to sleep. "Sirius," he whispered half-consciously.
"Yes, Remus?"
"I'm happy you came back."
The reason for his return was suddenly restored in Sirius' mind. Killing Peter, his former best friend, would not be pleasant, but he felt he had no other choice. He sighed, resting his head against the werewolf's.
"Love, I have something to tell you," he said seriously into Remus' ear, but the latter's slow, steady breathing told him his lover had already fallen asleep.
##
The End.