This poem was written for Ivan, one of my favorite characters. It was inspired by the Three Days Grace song 'Animal I have Become.' I think, near the end, that I rambled a bit; please review and let me know what you think.
I do not own Hetalia
The Beast Within
I don't know why it happens,
It just does.
I can't control it.
I have moments of black,
Where I am not myself,
When it takes over.
Everyone fears me, what I will do,
Bad things occur when I lose it,
No one wants to be around me.
It is not like I want this,
I only crave for friendship.
But nobody sees me,
They only see him:
That thing inside me
Who feasts on fear and pain.
Oh no, he's coming again!
Why can't I control him?
Why must we all suffer?
No, please! I don't want this!
Stop! Please don't hurt them-
They did nothing!
I don't want their hate and disgust,
I don't want them to leave!
Finally he has calmed down;
But look at what he's done...
Their blood-forever stained on my hands.
That look in their eyes,
Forever it haunts me,
They despise me-and rightly so.
I despise myself, who wouldn't?
I'm nothing but a monster,
I don't deserve them.
But, I can't let them go,
I don't want to be alone,
Especially not with him.
I have to release them,
I cannot continue this torture;
I will be the only one to suffer.
They run to their freedom-
Even my sisters join them.
I'm glad, they're finally safe.
I must lock myself away;
The only one he can hurt now is me,
And hurt me he does.
He is furious that I let them escape,
He re-emerges, I try my best to fight him.
To an outsider, I probably would look strange-
A grown man literally assaulting himself.
I really don't care how I must appear,
I must not lose this battle.
More blood on my hands,
Only this time, it is my own.
I will not relent. I will win.
I will triumph over this beast within.
-HozE