Gail had been dreading this night since Holly told her about it, three weeks ago. It was time to meet the best friend. Not the uppity, superficial, almost-family friends, but the actually-family-minus-the-biological-similarities best friend. This was not Holly's oldest friend but apparently they had been through Hell together and are incredibly close.
Her name is Riley and Holly is sure that Gail will love her. The vote of confidence does nothing to quell the sweat accumulating on her palms or the steady bounce of her leg, under the table, as she waits for the two other women to meet her at Riley's favorite Bistro.
This was new and slightly terrifying territory. At least Gail had the comfort of being on home turf during the last friend meeting debacle. Now she was, strategically, seated in the furthest booth from the door. Gail planned on doing recon on the enemy before she had to interact her. It would take at least a minute to get to the corner booth, which Gail determined was an appropriate amount of time to make an accurate judgement of Riley's character.
"You're either waiting for someone or the door is seriously on your shit list."
Gail was startled out of her staring contest with the door by some woman that decided to slide in to her booth. The booth that she had to out speed walk an elderly person for, not 15 minutes ago.
"Who are you and what are you doing?" Gail snapped at her.
" I just saw you over here staring down the door and thought I'd give you a little company." The woman smiled at her like she wasn't intruding on her evening.
"Go away."
Gail took in the woman's features. There was her short, jet black hair, styled like a high fashion male model, the sharp eyebrows, winged eyeliner and bright red lipstick, complemented by a thin lip ring. Her arms were littered in tattoos but not the cheap ones that Gail had seen on countless people she arrested but ones that were clearly done in upscale parlors. Short legs were covered in fishnet stockings and the babydoll dress she was wearing only came to her mid thigh.
"You'll never make any friends like that." This girl was persistent.
"I'll have you know that I am an officer and I will not hesitate to arrest you for harassment."
The woman did her best to stifle the giggle that was bound to find its way to her lips. She turned her head and pretended to cough, hoping it masked her amusement.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
So much for that.
"I was just thinking that you are a little too adorable to be an officer. You're all small and pale. I bet you glow in the dark. Can they even send you on a stakeout?"
"Please leave." Gail had too little energy for this conversation and Holly was due to arrive with Riley in less than five minutes.
"But I want to get to know you, officer lady. It is lady, right? I wouldn't want to disrespect your pronouns and all that jazz.. I shouldn't have just assumed-still getting used to it and all"
"Yes, it's lady and no I do not want to talk to you." Gail was beyond irritated and about to make good on that arrest.
"I'm a ballistics expert and I teach kickboxing on the weekends." The woman spied Gail's confused expression. "I figured you should know my profession since you told me yours. It's only fair."
"Ballistics are the gun people, right?" Gail was intrigued.
"Well, we investigate crime scenes, test residues, bullet markings, trajectory and have a hand in determining which part or parts of the body were hit, when there isn't a body or at least majority of a body present. But yes, the gun people we are."
"Ew, you're a nerd." Gail spat out. She was equal parts fascinated and annoyed.
"But I thought you liked weapons, and nerds?"
"Who the hell are you?"
Gail was more than a little worried at this point. How did this woman know anything about her? Why wouldn't she stop smiling? Who did her eyeliner?
"I see you two have met." Holly materialized up from fucking thin air, behind Gail.
"We were just getting to know each other Hollister. Isn't that right, Gail?"
It wasn't long before Gail put it together. "You're Riley."
"The one and only." She smiled almost too big for her face. "Actually I have a cousin and an uncle named Riley, but you get the point."
"And how are my two favorite ladies getting along?" Holly asked before giving Gail a chaste kiss, ruffling Riley's hair and sliding into the booth beside Gail.
"Well Riley here is strange," Holly nodded in confirmation. "Her nerd power even rivals yours." Gail sat uncomfortably, waiting for Riley's assessment of her. She hadn't been the nicest to her but she hoped the circumstance was understandable.
"Well, Gail here is really blonde, really pale and her personality is like the personification of my aunt's chilli."
Holly and Riley smiled at each other in some unknown, bestfriend, inside joke way.
"Anyway, if you hurt my little Hollister here, I'll melt you alive." She took a sip of her smoothie, that Gail hadn't noticed before. "But you have my blessing."
"Can she actually do that?" Gail addressed Holly to see how real this threat was.
"Actually, she can."
Holly and Riley spent the next twenty minutes explaining how to melt person while they're alive, as well as how to clear the crime scene, dispose of the body and establish an air-tight alibi. Gail should have been terrified by the sheer amount of joy they both took in explaining this to her and the little diagram Holly drew with salt and ketchup, on the table, but it was the most comfortable she had been in a while.
"You're both insane." Gail told them after the waiter caught a snippet of their conversation and scurried away as fast as they could with the salad bowl and Parmesan.
They both smiled at her again.
Nerds.