[C]old Rain
A rewritten NieR: Automata ending
9S held his knees close to his body, resting his chin on his kneecaps. He huddled up hidden away in a small alcove in the trees above the sewer. He felt hopeless. Alone and cold. He had told himself the rain wouldn't slow him down, that he'd keep going no matter what. But before long he was shivering and freezing. His joints were squeaking and ached like all hell. He scooted further into the natural shelter in the tree roots and covered his exposed knees with his hands.
"This is ridiculous… I've never seen it rain around here." He thought to himself. 9S felt a wretched thought bubbling in the back of his mind.
Don't think it. Don't say it. You know it's not true.
"It never rained when 2B was around…" He whispered.
Stop it! Shut up! This isn't fair!
"I wonder if her data is out there… floating about in the cold rain…"
Shut up!
The little lone Android buried his face in his gloves. He didn't cry, he couldn't. He wanted to so badly. He needed to let it all out in one big meltdown. But still, it wouldn't come out.
"Why…? What did we do to deserve all of this?"
Don't do this to yourself.
"Are we being punished for something? Are we atoning for sins committed by those before us?"
I said shut up, damn it!
"No one deserved this… The Commander, 21O… 2B… 2B didn't do anything to deserve this… though... perhaps I'm being punished…"
It isn't true! You know it's not true!
"I… feel responsible for this… but why? Why do I feel to blame for something I didn't do?"
ENOUGH!
"Why are you talking to yourself…?" A metallic voice said.
9S looked up from his gloves and was met by the gaze of a small machine dripping from the rain. It's "eyes", if you could call them that, were glowing emerald through the heavy downpour.
"Are you ok, mister?" The little machine said, cocking its head to one side.
9S's eyes grew dark, but they were still covered by his visor, making it impossible to tell. The Android stabbed his sword into the Earth he sat on and supported himself as he rose. He pulled it out of the soil and stumbled towards the machine, drunken on his sorrow. The little machine looked even smaller now that 9S wasn't huddled in a corner and stood tall in front of the little, clunky lifeform. The two stood in front of each other unmoving, unspeaking. 9S felt feverish surrounded by the loud pounding of the rain, his mind swam with emotion… emotion… the damned reason he suffers. If only he could just rip out a piece of his mind. Whatever part made him feel, he wanted it out. But then… What would be his reason to live? What reason would he have to-
"Did something happen to you, mister? Do you need help?"
9S looked down and tightened his grip on the soft leather handle.
Above his head he raised the blade and prepared to strike. His heart rate rose. He felt a pounding in his chest, his temples, his fingers. Every part of him shook and pulsed as his mind raced in fear, confusion, anger, sorrow, and so on. Every emotion he wished would just disappear. The machine flinched as 9S let out a blood curdling shriek and plunged the sword downwards.
It struck mud. It sank deep into the soft earth and stayed there. The Android fell to his knees and hung his head. He reached up and practically tore his visor off, casting it to the side as it unsatisfyingly drifted to the ground. The machine trembled and backed up a little bit.
"I'm- I'm scared… you're scary. Androids are scary, just like the others said!!!"
The little creature fell backwards and scrambled to stand on his two stubby legs, turning and running away from the collapsed figure.
9S's eyes prickled with tears. Little blurs began to form in his field of vision until they fell to the ground below. They were similar to the drops of rain, yet there was a key difference. The tears were silent. The rain was harsh and loud, aggressive almost, but the salty water that escaped his eyes was soft and gentle. Deathly quiet.
What began as a few drops soon became a shower. 9S quivered and squeaked as more and more tears formed. Before he knew it he was a mess of sobs and hopeless sniffles. Once his tears were spent, he froze in place and stayed on his knees, looking down at the mud he knelt on.
Hours passed and the android still knelt in the mush of earth in the quiet corner of the forest. His pod had been desperately trying to get his attention, suggesting he start moving before the water seeped through his skin and rusted his joints. But nothing made him stir. Animals would walk past, leaves would rustle, a stick would snap, and so on. Not even when footsteps were clearly audible in the wood beyond his little hiding spot. An android dressed in beige stumbled out of a bush between two overgrown tree roots, turning to look behind her as a larger male android pushed his way through the shrubs.
"Hurry up, Pinch! You are so slow sometimes!" The woman barked. The man whose name was apparently "Pinch" just sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I'm slow because I'm bigger than you, Badger. I can't just scurry through the bushes like a little mouse." He responded. Badger was a small but muscular girl with a fiery look in her gaze. Her eyes were a piercing emerald with a small ring of yellow around the pupil. She had curly dark brown hair and tanned skin covered in freckles. Pinch on the other hand was a ghostly pale color. He had light brown hair in an undercut style and a well kept goatee. His eyes were a pale grey-blue, similar to 9S's own. Pinch may have towered over Badger by at least 5 inches, but it was clear that Badger was the one in charge. Badger turned her head and immediately her eyes locked on the huddled figure near the indent in the tree roots.
"Pinch." She said sharply, elbowing his arm. Pinch hummed in response and turned to face 9S's direction.
"Oh gosh, is he hurt?" Pinch said as he hurried towards the collapsed soldier. Badger followed behind and knelt in front of him.
"Hey, are you alright?" She said comfortingly while putting a hand on his shoulder. 9S didn't move but his eyes fixated on her.
This new face is showing so much concern without even knowing who I am or what has happened...But why?Why show such kindness to someone as sinful as me?
A moment of silence passed as Pinch nervously fidgeted with some loose fabric on his sleeves.
"... Pinch do you think you can carry him?"
Pinch thought for moment then nodded. He bent down and hoisted 9S over his shoulder.
"Are we taking him to the resistance camp?"
"Yes. Something isn't right with him. Besides, if we leave him in this mush he'll rust to death."
Pinch said nothing and began walking back towards the way they came. Pinch and Badger took 9S through the woods, taking hidden paths with good camouflage to avoid hostile contact. 9S's arms swung in front of him over Pinch's shoulder. His limbs were limp and his gaze filled with pain. Pod 153 followed behind but kept herself hidden. She deemed it unnecessary to interfere with the rescue in case she caused reason to halt said rescue.
The sun was covered by lingering grey clouds by the time they reached the resistance camp. Pinch approached the leader with the boy still slung over his shoulder. Anemone's expression changed from neutral to grave. She quickly explained to Pinch and Badger that the boy was called 9S, a YoRHa soldier who had helped the camp a great deal and was one of the two androids responsible for the death of the machine unit known as Eve. Pinch and Badger exchanged looks of disbelief throughout her story. Before long they were instructed to bring him to the room set aside for him and 2B all those months ago.
"Do you think he'll be alright?" Pinch asked his partner softly. The two sat on a bench together, awaiting word on how the android boy was fairing.
"He looked directly into my eyes when I spoke to him in the woods. He's conscious, that's for sure, but whether or not he'll be OK… I can't really say…" Badger said with a grimace. She twirled her hair around her finger and sat with her legs nervously crossed.
"From what The Boss said, he seems like a good kid. I hope whatever happened to him isn't too drastic…" Pinch said with a shaky voice. Pinch may have been large and strong looking, but anyone that knew him well knew he was a big softie at heart.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but he's in a real deep crock of sh*t at the moment." said a voice from the left of the two.
"Devola, please…"
Pinch and Badger looked towards the voices and met the eyes of the twins, Devola and Popola. The two were well known to the resistance members, being the only capable medics on the surface.
"9S… lost someone recently. None of us know how it happened but… his partner, 2B, her black box signal was lost a few weeks ago." Popola said.
"That would explain the look in his eyes when we found him… He had such a distant stare, like he was in great pain." Badger muttered.
Devola and Popola bid the two a temporary goodbye to go and check in on the weak boy all alone in bed. Pinch and Badger sat quietly on their bench, admiring the bustling sound of other resistance members chatting away. Soon, however, the chatter was sliced through by a different noise.
The sound of heels on concrete came harshly from the entrance. An android with torn skin and tattered garments had walked into the camp. She had a YoRHa pod floating behind her and, judging from her agitated expression as it said something inaudible to her, she wasn't too happy about it. She walked right past Pinch and Badger and approached Anemone. Badger leaned forward to see around her tall partner, attempting to read Anemone's lips. The unfamiliar android turned around and began moving towards the exit. Softly, a door creaked open to the right of Pinch and Badger. They both turned their heads to see 9S back on his feet and walking out of the room with the twins close behind. He was looking down at his feet as he walked shakily out into the soft light of a few lanterns lit to cut through the shadows of thick clouds, his white crop of hair glowing like a starlit field of snow. He slowly lifted his head to look around and immediately locked his eyes on the worn down android approaching the exit.
"A...2…" He whispered. He summoned his katana and squeezed the handle with every ounce of strength he had.
"9S, what are you-" Popola began, but before she could finish her thought, 9S was charging towards A2, screaming in anger as he did. A2 whipped around to face him and braced herself for the impact with 2B's sword in hand. To her and everyone else's surprise however, Pinch and Badger had both quickly sprang up and held 9S by either shoulder. 9S shrieked and kicked in protest.
"Let go of me! I need to kill her! I need to kill A2!"
"What on Earth are you going on about, you crazy boy??" Badger asked in dismay.
"She… She killed 2B! This is her fault! 2B is gone because of her! She's a murderer and a deserter!" 9S squirmed harder than before, still kicking and flailing helplessly in the couple's grip. The resistance members all either stared at 9S or A2. All of them with expressions of surprise and disbelief.
"9S… 2B asked me to kill her." A2 said grimly.
"You'relying!"
A2 stayed silent. She looked him dead in the eyes and began to speak.
"These are her memories…" she held up the sword. "She asked me to take care of them, but it's clear to me that you need her more than I do."
With that she dropped the blade into the grass, turned around, and walked away. 9S struggled even harder. It was clear that his lust for revenge had consumed him completely. Pinch turned 9S to face him and put a hand on either of his shoulders.
"Calm down. I know what you're going through must be hard… But at least give what she said consideration. Who's to say she isn't lying?" Pinch said firmly. 9S glared up at the man's stern face.
"How can you just ignore the fact that she's a murderer? Are you people insane?" 9S shouted in response, pulling himself out of Pinch's grip. 9S walked to the white katana lying in the grass and knelt in front of it. He reached out to grab it with a trembling hand. He paused for a moment to breathe and removed one of his gloves. He wanted to feel the soft handle on his skin for once. His hand felt bare without the leather accessory. 9S gripped the soft handle. He flinched and dropped the blade. Everyone watched curiously. It was like the air itself held its breath, waiting for him to make his next move. The white blade was illuminated by a lone ray of golden light in the grass in front of the trembling soldier. 9S quickly put his glove on and picked up the blade again, but this time he kept it in his hand. Whatever had disturbed him had to do with his skin touching the blade. 9S turned on his heels and quickly approached the exit. Pinch and Badger both leaned forward to watch the boy who seemed so weak and helpless before, walk out with confidence and determination.
"9S wait!" A voice called after him. Popola ran up to 9S and grabbed his shoulder. "Where are you running off to now?" She asked, taking his hand into her own.
"I'm going to find A2. She got a head start thanks to you guys, but I'm not letting that stop me from killing her."
"9S…" She said softly. 9S yanked his hand away from hers and ran off into the city ruins.