"Kakashi-sensei, you're back." Sakura said as she looked up from her clip board.
"I came as soon as I heard. How is she?"
"Surprisingly stable for now, though, in all honesty I'm not quite sure. Yamanaka-san hasn't come in to evaluate her psyche yet." Sakura bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "I'm worried, Kakashi-sensei."
He looked down at her with a soft eye, "Where can I find her?"
"The rehabilitation ward. She's in one of the activity rooms."
"Thanks, Sakura." The Jonin disappeared in a small gust of wind. Time was of the essence and he could not, would not, waste it walking.
He found her alone in a practice room, her hunched figure sitting on the piano bench with her back facing him. Kakashi peered from the door through a small slit-window at her haggard appearance. Her hair was in a rough of sorts, close to that of a bird's nest. She sat still in her patient's gown, the milky color of her skin peeking through from the gaps between its ties. She had lost some weight it seemed, for the shoulder that slipped out from the collar looked taught, and bony. He exhaled heavily at the sight of her, his heart immediately dropping to the pit of his stomach from seeing her in such a state.
He had been the one to do this, to leave her side when she needed him most.
Kakashi carefully, and silently twisted the knob and opened the door so as not to startle her, then mentally smacked himself for doing so. The gesture was useless; She wouldn't be able to hear him anyway.
Upon walking in he was surprised to hear the sound of a single note. The constant tapping of the single key rang out into the hallway and was cut short when he closed the sound proof door. She felt it then. The slight tremble of movement had frozen her finger, but it remained on the key.
Kakashi made his way to the side of the piano bench and looked down, but was not able to see her face. He glanced to the top of her head before his eyes skittered to her wrists that were resting above the keys. Just like her shoulder, thin and bony. He opened his mouth to say her name but snapped it shut. She wouldn't hear him.
His heart sank a little lower.
He sat down next to her, close enough to feel her heat, but with enough space so that they didn't touch even though he longed to feel her soft, feather-light touches on his skin. She retracted her arm into her lap and bowed her head further down to avoid any eye contact, to avoid having to face anything or anyone.
They sat there, two broken bodies sharing a mournful silence, except one wallowed in guilt while the other felt absolutely nothing.
Kazumi felt like an empty shell. Despite still having her sight, everything around her had lost its color. The once beautiful, and vibrant world around her had become black and white just like the keys before her now.
Kazumi felt her mind start to retreat back to that void. The silence was constantly driving her crazy, and though she had finally given up, here she was. Sitting in front of what would become her worst nightmare for as long as she lived. She could feel it coming, another breakdown. Her once steady hands began to shake atop her lap. She gripped them together in order to compose herself for fear she would attempt another try at her own life. Just when she thought she couldn't hold on to her sanity any longer, movement on the piano caught her eyes. Immediately she stilled, not sure if what she saw was really happening.
A moment's pause after playing the first few notes Kakashi gave a hesitant glance at the woman next to him. She lifted her head just a fraction, confirming that he had her attention. He began again with another handful of notes.
Kazumi stared wide-eyed at what was happening before her. She did not move and made sure her face remained hidden, but held her breath waiting to see if there was more now that he'd piqued her curiosity.
Kakashi continued to play just as she had played for him so many times before. The feelings of his fingers gliding over the keys were unfamiliar to him. For once his hands were not gripped around a deadly kunai. For once they did not bleed the blood of his victims. And, for once they did not cause pain. Kakashi had hoped that what he was doing would be enough. Hopefully, all those times he had secretly watched her through his unique eye would pay off today. He needed it to, because he wasn't sure if it would work next time, if there were one.
Kazumi watched his fingers glide across the keys almost mechanically. She didn't need to hear what the song sounded like to know it was the one she played for the third Hokage in grievance after his death. After all, every note had been dearly ingrained into her heart, and now Kakashi had memorized it as well. Though she briefly wondered how, especially since he had only watched her play it once.
Just from watching she noticed the song was about to end, and as she waited expectantly for him to play the last notes and finish, she blinked hard when he did not stop. His fingers dove into another song, one she would play often for the children. She recalled how it sounded in pace with his deft fingers. It was light with quick staccato notes. The sharp and whimsical tune inviting her to dance. But today she did not feel like dancing.
He went into another song, and another one after that. He was performing a concert of not only her favorites, but of others as well. She recognized with her eyes the slow melodic tune not unlike the gentle breeze of a summer day that Kurenai adored so much. The allegro of one that Naruto had claimed as his theme song. The capriccio piece she had made for Gai, and played for him while he warmed up for training. Almost all of the important pieces she had in her repertoire, representations of all the important people in her life, Kakashi played for her that afternoon.
When his fingers came to a slow stop on a piece she recognized as Sakura's favorite, a romantic score, he started again, but this time with a precision and heaviness that he wasn't playing with before. Kazumi sucked in a breath that might've sounded like a gasp when he began on the first five notes.
The harmonious melody hummed in her head as Kazumi instantly recognized the song he played. It was the song he would always ask her to play on the rare occasions that they had time together. She always wondered what it was about this song that he liked so much. He never gave her much of an explanation besides the usual, "It just sounds very beautiful."
Tears began to well in her blood shot eyes, the trembling having come back to the dainty hands resting on her lap. But how...
In her emotional state she had forgotten any pretense of ignoring his presence and took a chance to glance up at his face,
and the dam broke.
Entirely focused on the song, Kakashi almost missed the movement of her head when she finally looked up at him. He was tempted to stop right there, but because what he was trying to get across to her was more important he continued on with the song.
Kazumi sat entranced. The red gleam of his Sharingan shone brighter than anything she had ever seen, and the color began to bleed around her. She wished she could hear him play. She wanted so badly to hear how his fingers struck each note. The tears continued to fall as she looked back to his playing. The song picked back up in her head after seeing the bar he played. She watched the heaviness in his hands and how at some parts his body would lean forward with more feeling like he knew exactly where to emphasize on the sound.
Kakashi felt his fingers slip just a bit on something wet. He looked quickly to see that Kazumi had leaned closer to the piano to where she hovered over the keys slightly. Tears fell from her face onto the keys as she watched intently with sad eyes. Reaching the middle of the song he continued to play for her.
Kazumi always had a sharp mind, and even sharper ears. It all began to make sense now. All those times he would watch her play with such strange intensity. Was it, in fact, that he had been committing it to memory? That magnificent eye that would copy a thousand jutsu was used to copy her piano playing. Why he spent energy on her like that she couldn't fathom, but a small part of her knew the reason. Why was it that he did such heartbreaking things like this? Her heart overflowed while she blinked away another swell of tears.
Kakashi played the last string of notes of what had become his favorite song. His fingers rested on the keys a bit longer before sliding his eyes to her. She was just as still as she was before, and Kakashi watched her gaze that was starring almost longingly at the piano. He let his hands slide down onto his lap and waited patiently.
Kazumi wanted to look up at him, but she was scared. Knowing the kind of man he was and the kinds of things he'd gone through. The same things she'd almost put him through again… She just couldn't face him. Kazumi had acted so selfishly, and the guilt was starting to hit her full force. Why had she convinced herself that nothing was left on this earth for her when she lost her hearing, yet, all along there was one person just as distraught and troubled as she was?
The young lady let her gaze drift upward onto the bare face of the man she knew she loved that had just undoubtedly proven how much he loved her, too.
Kakashi made no sudden movements when she finally looked his way. Tears streaked her calm face and another fresh stream followed the same path down to her chin where they met in one big drop and fell to her hospital gown. It was like time didn't exist as they sat looking into each other's gaze. He could clearly see the pain and suffering in her golden-amber eyes. He could see the depression that had plagued her, the confusion, the anger, the guilt, and the blame. And as if his heart couldn't drop any further Kakashi felt it plunge. Kazumi's slim, and now bony fingers tentatively reached for his hand. He held a breath and did not dare move in fear of scaring her off. She wrapped her grip lightly over his, and when he deemed it safe to move he slowly turned his palm up to hers, and grasped it tight.
The rush of warmth from his calloused hand sent a comforting feeling through her body that engulfed her in renewed life. She gently lifted his hand and brought it to her chest. Hunched over, a fresh rack of sobs echoed in the room as she cradled his hand against her heart. She slipped her right one from his grasp and cupped it over the back of his hand to press it tightly against her.
Kakashi could feel her chest heave with every broken inhale. Her body shook with the force of her sobs, and he could almost physically feel the shattering of his own heart as it dropped to the ground. In a protective gesture he hunched his large frame over her as her tears began to flow freely.
Sakura watched through the sound proof glass window having just walked by. Her face fell somber when she glanced at the back of her sensei hovering over his lover. Despite clearly seeing the trembles in Kazumi's body as she wept, Sakura couldn't hear a thing. She couldn't help but wonder if that was exactly as it sounded to the pianist. The sound of nothing at all.
A big thanks to CerealKiller11 for being an amazing Beta!
Also, this fic doesn't really have a solid plot line. I just think Kakashi is much deserving of some TLC.